Don't want to write

Ever since writing my latest piece, I've really lost the desire to produce.

Maybe that's not so. I want to produce, I just couldn't bring myself around to tapping on the keyboard to make it happen.

I was going to let another day go by where I just fixed things from the past books to make them better, figuring that is at least something. But it makes me feel like I'm being lazy, probably because I am being lazy.

So, I forced myself to write. I didn't have a goal in mind, even though I try to get 2k in a day. I just was afraid I lost the story Just Friends because I got side tracked by one project and am eager to start about 3 more projects.

But I opened the file and started. It was slow at first. The words didn't flow like usual. I had to get my bearing. But I started to write. New words on a new page. Something about that is liberating.

There were distractions. Old friends and new friends on facebook. I have become a commodity to some. I have a whole new network of people who want to be my friend and care about me. I found an illustrator for the children's book (Thank you, Jesus). I gave some spiritual advice (is God giving me a ministry?) I talked to a fellow author that produced non-tg books.

But in the end I wrote 2000 words tonight on Just friends and feel like I'm regaining direction. I do want to be successful, I just think I defined success the wrong way. Now on to being productive and to build up others.

Thanks for all the concern and prayer. I am feeling better and am in a better mood.

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