Defining myself

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It has come to the point where I have to give consideration to who and what I am as an author. It is not an easy thing, nor is it fun.

There are certain questions I must ask myself.

Am I going to stick to a main genre?

Right now I am known for a few things. One of those is producing TG books. This helps and it hurts both at the same time. It helps, because I have an audience who wants what I produce and is willing to stick with me. It hurts, because it eliminates surprises. In Wrestling Against Myself everyone knew what Courtney's secret was and I think that hurt the book some. I could see people on this site, because it's to be expected. But people who have read my earlier works also knew. Do I want to be known as an author of TG books? The answer to that is no. I have other novels inside of me that are not TG and have nothing to do with TG that deserve to be written. So I cannot define myself as being solely in the genre of TG works.

The other thing I am known for, is producing things with a Christian message. It is in there. From the very first story, The Wishing Blanket, to the last, there is a running theme of Christianity. I will allow myself to be defined by the Christian message but I do not want to be considered an author of Christian works. There is a reason for this, Focus on the Family. I had decided a long, long time ago that I would not be a stumbling block to other Christians and since being TG is such a hot button issue, I find it hard to label myself as a Christian author.

But the question is still before me... what am I trying to accomplish?

I do want to be a voice. A very specific voice to a very specific group. I am transgender, but being transgender does not define who I am. I view being transgender the same way I view being dyslexic and being left-handed and being 6 foot tall. I am a woman who was born inside of a body that appears male. But, I have come to the conclusion, I am still a woman. Because of a condition I was born with, I was robbed of certain rites of passages and experience but it doesn't change who or what I am. I want to be a voice for those who feel the same way as I do. Does wearing a dress make me a woman? No. Does wearing make-up? No. Does having a beard? No. Can I wear a ratty pair of shorts and a t-shirt and still be a woman? Of course.

I do not write transgender books. I write mainstream books that have tg main characters and sometimes revolve around their plight as being trans. I stay away from the trappings of fetishism (please note that I use this word not in a derogatory fashion). I steer clear of the deviancy that oft times appear in works concerning TG characters (Rampant sex, promiscuous behavior, an unnatural fascination with clothing, makeup, and hair). My desire is to show being TG in a positive light that the general masses can understand and approve of. I am still trying to define myself as a professional as I decide where to go from here (which is a heck of a lot better where I was).

Here are my options.

1) Another story similar to Wrestling Against Myself. By that, i mean a story about transgender subjects but not told from the POV of the trans character. My idea is a book called Unreachable, a story about a middle school teacher who discovers that an orphaned student is trans.

2) Write the fourth book of God Bless the Child. I have a rough idea of what I want. It would be more in tone with book two of the series and would surround more Shawn Sweet than it would Jenny.

3) Write a Christian Apologetic book called Being Transgender and At the Alter. This is a book in three parts. One, arguing that being TG is not a sin and disceting the scriptures people use to say it is. Two, the churches response to TG practitioners and Three, how should a Christian Transsexual behave.

4) Write a short story to cleanse my pallet (most likely to happen) called Just Friends.

5) Leave the TG genre all together and write my baseball novel called Fallen Angel about a rookie third baseman who has a brain tumor.

6) Give up writing once and for all and try my hand at Suduko.

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