Dreams and Nightmares

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This should probably two blog entries.

The first one would be called "Losing Face," if I was trying extra hard to be cute and clever. Wait... I'm always trying to be cute and clever! Oh, well. Never mind.

Except, this is a follow-up to my last blog. Remember how I said I went to the dermatologist, got some stuff looked at and also found out my thinning hair is "female type?" Well, three days later, I got a phone call. The path lab had a look at the scraping he took off this little crusty area near my cheekbone. Cancer! (Isn't that word scary?) Actually, just a small basal cell carcinoma. Not generally dangerous unless you ignore them for too long. Being as I'm lucky to have "cadillac health insurance," which would pay for it (or 90% of it, anyway), he was sending me for the Rolls Royce of skin surgeries, something called Mohs. As long as there were no Larrys or Curlys, I was fine with that.

So, here I am, doing a 10-step post-surgical lesion-care routine twice a day for the next 3 weeks to try to avoid excessive scarring. And, I was "clear" on the first slice. All cured, no additional treatment required. (If you read up on Mohs, it's an iterative surgery process, with laboratory pathology analysis at each step, so they don't take more skin than they have to to achieve a cure.) And, I got away with no stitches! It's a small enough wound that there's a good chance it'll heal well by itself. It was borderline, though. I could have gotten stitches. The surgeon figured it wouldn't really be less scarring, just a different shape.

Okay, enough of that. I'm fine, and worse comes to worse, I'll have to use heavier foundation. Oh, and more sunblock, more often. I'm lucky it was caught early.

And speaking of foundation, the second part of this post should be called "Impossible Dreams Possible."

You know how there are many transgender MtF people in spirit who can never bring themselves to try anything to look the part? "Oh, I'll just look ridiculous." Well, maybe so, but then again, sometimes miracles are possible. Take a look at this portfolio of men made up, drag style, but only on one side of their faces so you can see the masculine/feminine contrast very clearly.

http://lelandbobbe.com/#/18/0

There are a bunch of images. Click through them all. Drag isn't my thing, but the photos clearly show the principle that feminine appearance and cues, and even glamour, is something that can be artificially applied to faces from which it does not naturally radiate. I know cosmetics make a huge difference in my own appearance.

___________________
I know this for a fact, honeychild.

Comments

Contrast....

Andrea Lena's picture

some of the 'boy halves' were attractive unto themselves, and many of them might actually look very pretty without the garish, over-the-top drag presentation. Still, very intriguing and a bit provocative. There are a few dressing/photography services within driving distance from me, and I've sworn to myself (should I actually dare) to use the services. I can't imagine continuing to go through life without just once seeing how I might look. Thanks for the link.

And I'm so glad you're 'clear;' you had me frightened about your safety, and I'm so relieved and happy that you've gotten the help you needed in time. You're in my prayers, dear!

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Good luck

Angharad's picture

with your post op care.

As for the half drag - not quite sure what it's supposed to mean or do. If art is supposed to challenge current thought or attitude, it achieves that alright but rather as a curiosity than a statement.

Angharad

Thanks, But...

...it's a tiny thing. I didn't mean to make it sound like a big deal. The surgeon didn't cut all the way through the skin, just removed a divot, under a centimeter in diameter and a few millimeters thick at the center. It'll heal by itself. My job is only to try to help it heal with as little scarring as possible, which basically involves cleaning it and keeping it covered with an ointment that keeps the skin happy so it won't form a big scab, just heal. The nurse said it was basically "fancy vaseline."

As far as the half-drag thing, I don't think you're the intended audience. It's about presentation rather than being. Just be happy for those who might see their way to being happy from it.

Dreams and Nightmares

Hope your post op surgery a success

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine