My company finally left after two weeks, though I am glad to have my house to myself again I really miss them. I suppose I didn't realize how much I needed to let my secret out in "the real" world. It was so odd to open up and to be me. I must say that I was more comfortable around Tiffany than her husband Marcos. I think that may be because I've been hurt by men often in my life (when it comes to physical/sexual abuse). But I will give this for Marcos, he was accepting and told me that he and his wife loved me and wanted me to be happy. Before they left I was actually crying though with Tiffany. I remember that well. I told her I was glad she came and how so alone I've felt trying to live up to everyone else's expectation for me.

So here is a rundown of what happened after I told:

Got my hair colored and styled in a feminine fashion, even letting the hair stylist know about becoming fem. At first I used a cover, and I don't know why I do this, that I needed to look fem for the back of a book cover because my writing persona was female (which is why everyone here calls me Katie).

Went to the mall, got fitted for a bra (54 DD for all those who really care and "Yes, they are real, and they're spectacular." The real fun was looking at the fashions and actually talking to a girlfriend about them. Discussing what I liked and what I thought would work for me. She is big on those little vest which really isn't my style because when I see them I hear Chris Farley singing "Fat guy in a little coat." But I am definitely conservative and evidently my skin tone is warm and I'm a red (I never knew)

Also at the mall I got my ears pierced for the very first time. Oh yeah, it hurt and I'm a little put off that the little boy who went in front of me got a lollipop and I didn't. Maybe I should've cried. Right now, after 3 days, they are still tender and hurt (I hope that's normal.)

Now here is for the newest of the new:

I have an appointment for counseling the monday after next. It really looks like I am diving in with both feet after years of just dipping the tip of my toe in to see if there was a shark in the pool.

The house is almost set up completely. I got kittens again and I put my writing computer together earlier (new case) and will hook it up. I may resume writing tonight or tomorrow.

LET THE JOURNEY FINALLY BEGIN