I got a comment on one of my story chapters. Some person, a guest reader, accused me of deleting a comment, and was pretty well pissed. I can deal with that.
What I found very offensive was that this person used the term "his/her writing"
This is a site for transgender fiction. Some of the authors on this site have gender issues. There are those that have made the choice to go all the way to becoming whole and have had to deal with sickening discrimination and abuse. There are those that haven't and may dress part time. It doesn't matter to me. If someone identifies themselves as female on this site, THEY ARE FEMALE as far as I'm concerned, not "his/her"! I don't care what their genitalia are. What a complete jerk!
If someone identifies as male, fine, whatever, but there are wonderful girls who are authors on this site! I may never meet them, but they are just as female as my birth mother was. And if a genetic female wants to identify as male,SO WHAT?
If a guest reader or whomever can't accept someone named Cindilee as a female, they can go somewhere else as far as I'm concerned.
This is me! I'm so not a boy! I'm so not a his/her!
Sorry to be a bitch. My heart breaks for the transgendered women and men who have to put up with the idiots in our society.
Comments
Cindilee, I am sorry that
Cindilee, I am sorry that person's comments bothered you. I tend to use pronouns to fit the person's name. If they say their name is Scott, for example than I use his and/or him and if the name is feminine I use her and/or hers. Come on people please show a little respect for people here.
For more than a few of us?
...this is the only place in our lives where we are or ever will be acknowledged as the women (and men) whom we present to be, and it is troubling and ironic that someone drawn to read and comment on the work we offer here either cannot or will not acknowledge that as well.
You have given me such a precious gift by embracing me as the woman I am, and I cannot thank you enough for that. May we all be so fortunate to have someone so precious in our lives as you, dear heart.
Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena
Love, Andrea Lena
You Are Right To Be Angry
Hugs,
Jen
Right On
You have it right, they don't. Ignore them. Erin can erase if you wish.
Portia
Portia
Guest Reader's deleted post
I deleted guest reader's post, or rather unpubbed it. I'm the one who most often does so for violation of the terms of service here. Basically, it was a rant and so came under the "unfriendly" exclusion here. Such a post should have been sent directly to the author or not posted at all. Since it was a guest reader doing so, they could not send a PM. The thing to do in that case is politely ask if there is another way to contact the author.
Don't assume you can post a rant here anonymously and I will let it pass. Generally, I don't.
Perhaps I was too exclusionary and should have let it go. I use the criteria that if I were the writer would I judge the post to be fair criticism or just ranting because the story was surprising the reader. The difference is personal accusations, if you accuse the author of some motivation or failing, it's a rant.
Sorry they came back and you saw it before I could unpub their complaint that their first post was unpubbed. But they showed their true self in the second post by once again assuming a motivation of the author and making a personal accusation again the author.
Sorry that it came to this.
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Rulle #1 - This is Erin's creation - Erin makes the rules.
Rule #2 - If you don't like Rule #1 you have the right to leave.
Rules #3 to how-ever many you like - See Rules #1 and #2.
Hey Erin,
You could publish these three rules and I think that should about cover it for you.
with love,
Hope Eternal Reigns
with love,
Hope
Once in a while I bare my soul, more often my soles bear me.
As a owner of a BBS I agree
Never attribute to malice when stupidity will suffice.
It took me a while to figure out the etiquette of this site and others. OK, I'm stupid. I was also in my 50's before I knew what the initials TG meant, though I've been dealing with (though not so well) all my life. I didn't start browsing for TG until then. I'm not sure if this was innocence or stupidity, you can take your pick.
I am very envious for those who have had the courage to step forward and do something about their problem. I'm not very attractive, I would be even less so as a woman. It is just something I'll live with until I die.
I need friends who understand though, which is why I like it here so much. I can let down what little hair I possess, and be myself. I have Erin to thank for that, and I am grateful.
Guest Reader
If someone doesn't have the guts to register I'm not sure they are really worth getting upset about. Some people are intentionally rude/cruel, others can be just as hurtful unintentionally. If they don't bother to register and become part of the community here, I'm not sure how much I value their input.
Even if they had posted a lovely glowing complement about the story chapter, you would be pleased by it, but not have a name to associate it with in the future, and the next "Guest Reader" comment could negate the first.
I do think it's best to go by user name, but there are some that could go either way and/or are gender neutral. I also often wonder how many FTM guys come to the site. It's very rare to see female to male stories.
{{Hugs}}
Frank - male cat lady :)
Darndest thing
I reread Guest Reader's rant, and it seemed familiar, style wise. So I went through the database of comments looking for the same IP number. Four more similar rants. So I looked up which company was the ISP for this IP and looked up posts from that same company in that same geographical area. More than a dozen more similar rants, some of them also unpubbed. Including one by a member of BC with the same email addy as a well known troll on another website.
Guess who has been blocked in the filter for BC?
Moral: don't troll my site. She'll never see this unless she goes downtown and logs on from her laptop I suppose but she can't troll people here from her home machine anymore.
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
I've had a rough couple of days. Sorry...
to be such a drama queen.
I guess I overreacted. Some people here know what's going on in my life. I've spent the better part of two days crying. I guess I just went a little goofy. This is a sensitive subject for me.
Please forgive. I don't mean to cause trouble, Erin.
Peace!
Cindilee
Peace!
Cindilee
you wern't the one causing the problem hon
YOU didnt do anything wrong. THEY made an unfriendly comment, got it removed, assumed you were responsible and so attacked your gender. Such people not worth any tears. Hugs.
Dorothycolleen, member of Bailey's Angels
You're not the problem
Fact is, this person has been posting unfriendly remarks for six years, about two dozen of them, so not exactly a prolific troll but they have gone off in spurts. So to speak.
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Gone off in spurts?
Isn't that what wankers tend to do?
I missed that comment, but (ignoring what Erin has now told us about the specific individual) I would add a small note of caution. People here now know what I am, if they have followed my stories and the comments attached. Given my username, I could have been assumed to be either gender. To take another example, Bev Taff has made her/his position very clear, and I use that phrase deliberately.
Some people's usernames are unclear as to gender. Some people are themselves outside the classic binary gender split. How would one address someone like that? Sometimes, his'her is a good option.
That all being said, this wasn't a case like that, so thanks to Erin for the filter. Goodbye troll.
No way were you ever a boy.
You've tackled a very painful issue for a lot of people here and done it bravely and with aplomb. I came out in 2004 and I just can not imagine what it would have been like in 1993. I think it could almost be a death sentence.
People like that are just dick heads.
Now, someone like me might get a nasty comment and I would have to say that some days I look like an elephants ass. Let's face it. The internet gives cowards big mouths.
Gwendolyn
I agree with you!
If someone wants to identify as a female, especially on this site (or any other as far as I'm concerned), then God Bless Them. If you don't like it, don't be here!
Secondly, As far as I know, everyone is welcome here, TS,TG, or whatever! As long as they can accept all of the various kinds of people here. Don't bring the hatred here, please.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Fortunately, it's the exception, rather than the rule. (At least, I believe so!)
Wren
Thank you, Erin,
ALISON
You have done the only thing that you could under the circumstances and I thank you for that.I saw the
" Guest Readers" complaint about being unpubbed and would have been myself if I had replied, I was so
angry.Neither Cindi nor any other writer should have to put up with rubbish like this and I am so sorry
that Cindi was the target.If these people don't like the story they should not read it, and respect the
authors right to tell the story as they want to, and to complain that their "critique" was 'Deleted" and
to make derogatory remarks about Cindi is just not on.I am so sorry that it happened,Cindi,but we are
so fortunate that Erin was there to sort the matter.
ALISON
You're so right!
The comment as used was a very passive/agressive, and you have every reason to feel insulted. As the person saw fit to make a dig at my comment, I'd prepared a very thoughtful and polite rebuttal (Stop snickering, John!), but by the time I'd finished it Erin had already unpubbed the comment.
Da . . . ng it!
BTW, I'm itching to see what happens next, so don't worry about what the ijit said, and write instead. Please????
Karen J.
* * *
I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. - Winston Churchill
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
=P
That's a nice photo. I'm very purrceptive, and even I can't see any of those signs that suggest that you may have been born male.
I didn't see these comments, but I wish they'd attacked me instead. Being a super tough Trans-MegaTomboy (my other labels don't apply so much to this case), I can* absorb such attacks and protect (in a Men-In-Black sort of way) the more fragile members of our community until Erin and her team arrive.
*Does a GI-Jane pose* :)
*If I'm in the right place at the right time, anyway.
- - -
Merry Christmas from BCTS's resident Extravagant Honorable Trans-Cat-MegaTomboy! ^_^
My two cents.
I feel the same way that you do.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Sorry Cindilee, We Love You!
Cindilee is GG!!!!! She told me. I hope this wasn't a secret....
Cindilee, I love your acceptance of us and all sex/gender minorities! IMHO, it is exactly right for this site. You are a valued, important individual here. I think all the comments about ignoring the jerk, troll, nasty stalker are right on.
I'm so sorry you are feeling sad and stressed. You could blog about it and we'd all yap at ya, if you think that might make you feel a little better.
Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee
Ready for work, 1992.
Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee