i guess it was bound to happen, just like it has happened numerous times before. I have been once again disowned by my mother.
This time she did it more subtle than the last. The last time she disowned me she told me I was dead to her... that was in 1998. This time she just unfriended me on facebook. This is what got her so upset, my last status update from facebook on my main account.
My aunt raised me from when I was an infant and though at times life had conspired to keep us apart physically there is a bond that can not be broken by distance. Even though she is no longer with me physically on this earth, we will always be united by our love for one another.
It is my Aunt who provided me an example of God's love for me and without her I know I would've missed out on a ton of blessings. She was always there for me, like any loving parent would be there for her child, and her absence will hurt me deeply for the rest of my life.
When I was a young child I once mentioned in my innocence that God had placed me in the wrong belly, but I eventually wound up where I belonged. That was over 30 years ago, but I think I never spoke a more truer statement.
Here was her reply to me in message form as she unfriended me:
When I get a chance.. Since I'm such a horrible person.. like you post on facebook... when you do get that money.. send me 6,000 not 12,000 take the other six grand and get your life back together again.. That's what your aunt would want.. So what we're doing is splitting the funeral cost with you. keep in touch.
The when I get the chance was in response to asking her to mail me things from my Aunt Roe. Now you notice she said I posted that she was a horrible person on facebook and I was confused because I don't think I really mentioned that she was horrible anywhere. I won't argue with her on the point that she is horrible, I just didn't see where I posted that. I would also like you to notice that she is still harping on money. It's been 2 months since my aunt died, not once has she asked me how I was doing, if I was okay, or if I needed anything.
So here are my replies:
where did i post that you're a horrible person
you unfreinded me on facebook... let's keep it that way. If you get around to it mail me the stuff from aunt roe and let that be it.
See I wasn't getting drawn into whatever craziness my mother was trying to stir, though I didn't back down. Later on she finally answered what her problem was.
You were put in the wrong belly? What kind of shit is that to post on facebook? What is wrong with you!?
so we finally come to the point where she tells me what got her panties in a bunch.
So I replied:
what's wrong with me? Do I have to remind you of my life
oh and I read her obituary.... looks like some things were left out
She decided not to reply as of yet, that was over an hour ago. But, I believe this is officially the end. I also found out that though she claimed she wrote the check out of my aunt's account when she died for 6000 dollars to pay for the burial plot that the actual cost ran from 2000 to 2250. I guess because the kids she raised are morons, she expected me to be one too.
My life could be a soap opera.
Comments
hugs hon
my deepest hugs hon.
Dorothycolleen, member of Bailey's Angels
What Dorothy said
Deepest hugs hon! One of the reasons I'm happy to be moving out of South Cakalackie is the people. Unfortunately, some of them are relatives. Sigh... you can pick your friends, but kin? Not so much.
Biggest and most gentle of hugs
Grover
So sorry, dear.
Your blog post, and the one just ahead of it from Maid Joy are pretty much polar opposites in reaction.
It is too bad there is so much divisiveness over the issues out community faces.
I was so very happy for Maid Joy, with my own tears of joy, and now I'm shedding bitter tears for your mom'[s reactions
It’s not given to anyone to have no regrets; only to decide, through the choices we make, which regrets we’ll have,
David Weber – In Fury Born
I know you do not regret the choices you've had to make. Just those of an other, or others.
Holly
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
Holly
How true...
...this is so wrong! You're her child and all you've ever wanted was her love and respect, and she treats you like a stranger. I can't see the key board, I'm so angry and sad. I'm sorry for being so emotional, but it just hurts to see you hurt like this.
Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena
Love, Andrea Lena
*hugs*
I actually can sort of imagine what you're going through, having been called a creature to my face by my own mother.
She at least seems to have gotten past thinking so little of me, but she still calls other ts creatures and "it"...
She also still doesn't think what I'm doing is right... It's like she would have rather seen me stay locked away in my fortress my whole life and died a very worthless individual indeed.
Abigail Drew.
Abigail Drew.
my mom
My mom's main concern is that she looks bad with the things she has done in regards to me and looking bad is a fate worst than death to her. She can't own up to the shit that she has done, and I doubt she wants to. I think it is better this way. When she told me I was dead to her back in the late 90s I cried. I remember calling my aunt roe sobbing about what my mom had said. I am done crying over her and I don't have my aunt to call to cheer me up and let me know someone is there for me so why bother.
K.T. Leone
My fiction feels more real than reality
Katie Leone (Katie-Leone.com)
Writing is what you do when you put pen to paper, being an author is what you do when you bring words to life
At Least
At least you actually had someone that you could go to. I never really had that from any of my family even though most claimed that I could. Here it is I am in my thirties and have not been able to start the process of getting my body to match my soul find people online who claim to love me only to find out that they aren't the one for me. So I fall deeper in to a dark pit of depression due to loneliness and I carry on like none of it gets to me. I don't look forward to the family get together because I don't see a lot of support in order to open up to someone that would continue to be supportive of me and actually carry on in helping me out. I am sorry you have had so much trouble but I am not surprise by it either.
Yours Truly
Arina
Take solace in
you can wear a nice dress and heels...preferably in red and weep unconsolably. In loud voices proclaim your unwanted love for her.
Throw yourself on men and women alike and beg to know... did she feel much pain?
Then laugh hysterically and offer everyone a drink.
Then make a toast to your mother.
Kiss every man there and mean it.
Then when they finally throw you out... tell them you can't throw me out! My loving mother took care of that already!
Dayna.
Then write a book and make a million and create a charity in her name.
disowned and cast away
I kniow what you are going through in regards to your mom. I was abused by her until I actually grew taller than her, then it became mental abuse.
I've been told several times not to come and visit, I am out of the will, she wants nothing to do with me and don't bother calling. My approach was for a long time I tried to get her attention and just a word of praise.
Those never came.
I'm older now and wisdom has told me that since my own birth family thinks I am a horrible monster (Combat related PTSD) they all decided to just not have anythng to do with me.
I look at the advantages, no holiday cards to send, no birthdays to remember and I save money by not going west of the Mississippi.
Since I've been asked to not bother them, I don't. I do pray daily for them, but i don't contact them. I have a support family that I hand picked. I am cared for, loved, and given praise. it took me a long time to understand what a complement was. Because of my being abuse, the three words I fear the most "I love you" they were the prelude before the beatings would take place.
I am very careful when people use those three words, Its when I back off and do my best to ensure there is not going to be and physical harm.
I am the blacksheep of the family. I had a successful Military career, went to college after the military, received a bachelors degree, have a wonderful daughter (that I can say I love you and mean it without abuse) I got through alcoholism, and make a decent living. acording to statistics the way I was brought up I should be an inmate somewhre after committing horrendus crimes.
Well my own resillience, the ability to adapt to situations, and breaking the abuse cycle, has helped me grow. I am medicated for the PTSD and keep on going.
I used to cry deeply to be with my family and would not take the message of not being wanted.
One day after many tearful days and nights I was being held in a jail cell because of my own actions (the only time in jail(for lessthan four hours)) I came to realize I am responsible for me and my actions. I promised never to have an ugly interface with the police and I would think things through before reacting. It didn't always work that way, but in the past year things have become where I am comfortable with who I am and what i am doing.
Sometimes we have to break communicating with those who we want to notice us. You are at this site for a reason. People here really do care for each other, they are part of a family we never really had.
I'll keep you in prayer.
Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.
Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.