A Man Walks into a Coffee Shop

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"Waiter," the man with the scraggly beard and frantic eyes asked, "do you serve virgins?"

The waiter, quite surprised that a man who looked like he was in his fifties or maybe even older could still be a virgin, nodded. "Of course, sir."

"That's wonderful," the man said with obvious relish. "Me, I'd like two virgins with nothing on them, to go."

The waiter gasped. "I. . . . Sir, there's been a misunderstanding."

"Miss Understanding. I haven't heard of her, but if she's a virgin I'll take her, too. I've been to every coffee shop I could find and asked for virgins. You're the first place who serves them. You'll get all my business."

The waiter, knowing the customer is always right, went in the back room and found three virgins especially suited for the customer.

Jill

Comments

Probably Olive Oyls

joannebarbarella's picture

More information on the middle-aged man with the scraggly beard and frantic eyes is needed, so we can avoid him! That coffee shop just lost my business.

Joanne

Yes, I Agree

I've only seen his picture. My guess is this site is populated mainly by "virgins" who would serve as a virtual smorgasboard for that kind of critter.

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Beards????

Beards are so digustingly filthy. I've yet to meet anyone who has a beard that isn't hiding something nasty behind it! And they are always picking yesterday's lunch out of it. Gross!!!!!!!!!!!! Barf!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mea the Magnificent

They're also perfectly natural.

I've sported one for nearly 50 years. Initially it was a means of stopping my dressing which it did very well but I've got used to not shaving. Anyway, my wife wouldn't recognise me without it as she's never seen me clean shaven and, as you say, it's handy for between meals snacks ;)

Of course, it gets washed at the same time as my face, which is quite often so it's very clean. The big plus is that it's always soft so my darling doesn't ever suffer from my prickly chin.

Robi

Well...

...perhaps it was someone with a neat beard but scraggly hair? Someone with a taste in Virgins...

(and you thought the original joke was bad!)
 


EAFOAB Episode Summaries

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

OH MY

Now. . .that's funny!

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Why

do I picture him in a strange ratty old bathrobe?

Bailey Summers

A Man Walks into a Coffee Shop

Why didn't you post this as a drabble? Thanks for the chuckle.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Virgins?

kristina l s's picture

So who's the scruffy dude? And why Virgins... well apart from the obvious he man power thing. But... no...ummm... I.... nope... Umm, can someone lend me their copy of Allegory for Dummies? Point me at Cryptics R Us? It's been a long day and I'm feeling dim...Oh shut up, I am not always dim...I'll sulk. Juvenile sometimes maybe, but not dim... well not too often... Now about that beard.... Has this got anything to do with that little sillyness from yesterday? Blackberry bagel?

Kristina

A Picture

. . . is worth a thousand words.

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Angie...my love...

Your virgin lover probably couldn't perform in real time...virgins wouldn't really know. Perhaps he's a virtual lover...chat rooms perhaps????

Mea the Magnificent

BTW...I still want to be reincarnated as you. What can I say? :)

How can something so silly make me cry?

Andrea Lena's picture

I guess because I'd probably stand and stare and tell the manager to tell the guy to leave. Stupid, huh? I'm finding that I've become quite protective of my friends here, and worry about how they're doing. Like I told someone this morning, an eight year old psyche trying to retrieve the irretrievable after fifty years; trying to save my sister from harm. And that's what it feels like when I find one of us feels uncomfortable or threatened; like I'm trying to save Joann all over again. The psychological term for that is PROJECTION; projecting my issues into a circumstance or event as if it really related to me in that manner.

And it's fairly common for all of us to do that once and a while. You know; you react out of your own experience. I'm sure I'm not alone in this; lots of us continue to deal successfully with the things of the past. And maybe some of us feel like protecting their friends.

So I stand and yell at the manager of the place; stop. I say to the man with the beard...go away...leave me alone...leave them alone! I miss my sister so bad it hurts. But it's supposed to, you know? And it's okay to 'project' once and awhile, especially when you have friends that you care about. Sorry for rambling.

She was born for all the wrong reasons but grew up for all the right ones.
Con grande amore e di affetto, Andrea Lena

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

I'm pretty sure

that my neighbour isn't a virgin; he has a son and two daughters. BUT... he does have a beard, straggly hair and is in his mid-60's. If he wasn't happily married to my best friend, I could definitely go for him.

Then there's "A man walks into a coffee bar. Is he clumsy or short-sighted?"

Susie