Carol,
I know how you feel and can empathize with you. I could never amount to any thing good according to my mother. I had a brilliant military career, was in the Honor society in college, first one to graduate from a four year cfollege, never once did I hear her say anything positive.
When I transitioned I was reminded by her that she had two daughters and five sons and that I was not one of the daughters. We have no relationship at all.
My mom is the Queen of Denial (Cleopatra if you will). I used to do all I could to appease her and finally in the end I decided disconnecting with her and all my other relatives would be a healthymove for me.
In my story "The Uulogy" it was about me confronting my family, fortunately I see a therapist and don't have to fly to Bllings,Montana to tell my siblings and mom what they have really done to me.
Life is not alway perfect on daily basis, some days we eat thebear and other days the bear eats us. I consider any time I deal with my family its the bears turn to eat.

Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.