Grief was a resident in my family from before I was born. Both my brother and I were in our own ways haunted by at least 1 ghost even on the day of our respective births. For my brother, that ghost was my mother's first-born, who had died 2 days after being born. So that when my brother came into the world, he was given the mantle as the heir to every dream and hope my parents had had for his older brother. My ghost was slightly different. While I was in my mother's womb she dreamed of a little girl. She was so convinced this dream was real that she had a female name ready - Colleen. Unfortunatly, at first I was a disappointment, as I had the wrong equipment to be a Colleen, and picked my male name out of a hat. Becasuse they had nearly lost my mom in my birth, she couldnt have another child. So I started life being haunted by the girl I was supposed to be, Of course who knew then that I would eventualy recapture my mother's dream on my own. That was the begining of my life, and those were the calm years.