Isolation, Censure, Casting Out, and Community

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I note with interest the new "Ignore User" button on all posts, blogs and comments.

Frankly, it makes me queasy.

It's not an intellectual reaction, exactly, but more of an emotional one on my part. It seems like some horrid level of overkill. I can't imagine that any adult here is so immature as to be unable to set aside a little irritation now and again and still be able to function without needing a mechanism to turn someone else invisible to them.

For too long, we have been invisible to others. Whether we choose to hide, or others refuse to accept our humanity when we don't, it amounts to the same thing -- a world where someone is considered less of a human than someone else.

Diversity is about learning what is essentially human about people who aren't exactly the same as we are. Whether it's someone who is ethnically, culturally, or otherwise different from your own background, or merely those with whom you don't share an opinion. We can all learn something from each other. It may be, all we are learning is what causes us to react in the way we react, or some essential understanding about the frailty and unrealized capacity of humankind, but there's usually a lesson in there, somewhere, if we want to think about it.

To shut our eyes and turn inwards, that is much of the reason, in my humble opinion, why the world still is the way it is today, splintered, tribal, and fractious. If we cannot somehow learn to live together, even with those we don't agree with, or who trigger our pressure points, in such a small community as this, what hope is there for the wider world?

It doesn't mean you have to love everyone, or even tolerate their behavior, but it does mean you should be prepared to accept a certain level of equality with others, and be willing to live in the same world as them. Even if you have to close one eye and wince at what they do or say once in awhile, your world demands a certain awareness from you of it, and this includes maybe having to think about how much you need to manually ignore someone yourself now and again, not merely deciding to put it out of your mind forever, as much to check your own growth and development as anything.

Comments

I Totally Agree!

jengrl's picture

I believe that it does show a level of immaturity if someone has to resort to using this button . I think if it is available, it gives people too much of an excuse to avoid being civil to others. It is just as you say, there is too much of this in the world already. There is always room for differences in opinion. If we were all the same, the world would be a rather boring place. Here's hoping that we can still exist as a community without the need to "Ignore" someone.

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Pippa, I hate to disagree

KristineRead's picture

Pippa,

I hate to disagree with you and Jengrl, but I do. This feature is a feature that is availabe on almost every site that has open commenting like this one. I have never personally needed to use a feature like this, but I know that there are those that do need it.

As much as I hope that we can all come together in community, there are times when it is just best to be able to avoid conflict.

An Ignore User option is a means of self filtering out comments that are likely to upset or annoy. This is self filtering and the user has complete control over who they block.

I'm all for giving us more control over our experience here.

I know that there have been people that have felt they have been attacked, and even stalked by certain people... this will give them the tools they need to be in control, and will mean that Erin and her staff will spend less time having to deal with that kind of nonsense.

Hugs,

Kristy

The internet is full of

The internet is full of things I don't care to read. Many I've never come across, and some I choose to avoid. I don't think anyone would find it unsettling to learn that someone has chosen not to read a particular website. There are way too many, and life is too short. This is the same thing, on a more granular scale.

I don't know if or how much I'll use the Ignore User feature, but I think it can only help improve the tone of the website for all

Miranda

To be fair

The Ignore button doesn't really do anything that users can't do on their own already. Even when used, someone on the ignore list's posts and comments still display, but with the main body of text replaced by a small notice that that person has been ignored -- it's really less of an "ignore" than it is a "don't display," similar to having, say, an ad blocker program in your web browser.

We have a community here of hundreds of registered users. One user not reading the comments or posts of another user is not going to cause the world to end; in fact, it happens all the time already, for many different reasons. Whether the blocked user is annoying to the blocker, or has opinions that hurt the blockers sensibilities, or simply has angered the blocker to the point that any contact between the two will result in a fight.

I will admit, it may not be a very 'nice' feature, but as far as I know it doesn't inform the blocked user that they have been blocked, which will hopefully save some people's feelings, nor does it keep that user's opinions, comments, or posts from being accessible to other users besides the blocker. It would be almost impossible for every user on the site to agree to ignore one person for any reason, so regardless people's opinions will have a way to get out and be shared -- if one person who isn't any more important than they are doesn't hear it, does it really matter if they aren't actively countering that person's views and opinions, either (which I doubt they could do if they didn't pay attention to that person's opinions?)

Melanie E.

The Warnings About Stories

jengrl's picture

The warnings about stories already accomplish notifying readers of content that they may be sensitive to. They can avoid reading such stories and just avoid leaving comments that might offend someone. It is a form of censorship to a degree, but hopefully it does make people think before they post something. My biggest question about it is this: If someone uses this feature on one of their stories, does it mean that if they don't like that person, they can bar them from saying anything at all about any of their stories even if it is a nice comment? That would hurt very deeply. I don't plan on using this button unless someone got to attacking me personally instead of my writing. Constructive criticism helps improve us as writers. Personally, I do feel it is mean spirited and hurtful, but I guess if it helps improve things for others, I guess I'll live.

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Ignore

erin's picture

The ignore feature allows you to ignore someone, it has no effect on whether anyone else can see their posts. Basically, if someone annoys or upsets you, you can take a break, put them on ignore for a period of time and recover your cool.

If this saves me one weekend a year putting out fires, it will be worth it. Same for the tag for Admin feature I added earlier in the week.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

I'm Certainly Not Opposed...

...to saving you work and aggravation, and I do hope it serves that purpose. It would also be nice if it saves from having to "unpub" comment strings and blogs in the future.

I posted this blog because I want people to think not only about the nature of community, but also about their own reactions to things that annoy them, and their own strategies for dealing with those. It's something I've been thinking about, myself, lately.

I'm very gratified at the responses so far, by the way.

Yeah

erin's picture

On the whole, this is a thinking and empathetic bunch. :)

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

I'm All For You Having Less Conflict

jengrl's picture

I'm all for you having less conflict to deal with and I appreciate all you do to keep this site a place where we can enjoy reading good stories. I am deeply saddened that it has crossed over this line to the point where you feel the need to put this in place. It just bothers me and hurts me that it has gotten to this point. I hope that at some point in the future that you will be inclined to take this feature off if people learn to behave like civilized people. In many respects, we as writers, need to develop a thicker skin and quit making such a big deal over the comments of someone. I have had to learn to let some things roll off my back and go on after someone made a comment about one of my stories. Sometimes I have responded to them, but mostly I let it go after a short time. It is just not worth it. I just wish others could do the same, so we could avoid even having this feature on the site.

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Once again...not being able to shove a case of Excedrin Sinus

Andrea Lena's picture

...thru the USB port...anything that mitigates argument risks the same with debate, but as we see on a weekly basis...things can get out of hand very quickly. I have no plans to use this function although I can understand and accept those who would use it. My best pal just said the other day..."Why don't you just try ignoring her?" So for me, I see a comment...I read it, and then I put it out of my mind now if it upsets me. God knows I've go enough to deal with without getting bent out of shape by something someone said. But every time we make choices like that....that's censorship...we censor all the time. If someone "taps your turntable" as they used to say...taking a break as you said in another comment, makes sense.
And since you have this option thrust upon you on an almost moment-by-moment basis, my dear, here's something that might amuse you...if it weren't true all the time.

Hugs to you, my dear!!!!


She was born for all the wrong reasons but grew up for all the right ones.
Possa Dio riccamente vi benedica, tutto il mio amore, Andrea

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Like most of the other features on BC...

erin's picture

This capability was added at the request of several members. This is not a thorough ignore but it may well serve to help defuse some of the angry exchanges that develop in some situations. I hesitated to install if for numerous reasons, including most of the ones mentioned in this thread but in the end, I decide that it would help keep the peace.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

hadn't seen it...

kristina l s's picture

... until just now. Must admit I'm not wild about the idea, though I know I could block PM's on my account if I so desired. Never had to and never want to, I feel the same about this one. That said I guess in some rare cases when a personal 'feud' for want of a better word gets out of hand.... well if there's no other way. I have wondered a little about the flag for admin thing that's popped up in the last week or so too.

Sigh, well I guess it's to much to expect that all will be civility and maturity, still seems a little sad that it's needed.

Kristina

Tag for Admin

erin's picture

Again this was a requested feature so that authors who dislike a particular comment can easily draw my attention to it: it sends me an email. I would have preferred a PM but that's not what it does.

So far, only one person has used it and instead of tagging someone else's comment, she tagged her own comment and asked me to edit it.

Another feature that has been added this week is comments by unregistered users without going in as Guest Reader. Better spam filtering makes that possible. Again, so far, only one person has used this new ability.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

But funny as hell

erin's picture

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

I like the idea

Frank's picture

Unless people go around telling others who is on their ignore list, I don't see why it should impact anyone else using the site. It's like anything else, a personal choice to use or not to use.

I wouldn't want folks to be posting who they are ignoring though. It should just be something you do for yourself and not used to attack someone as in "Don't bother replying to this, I'm ignoring you from this point on."

Thanks Erin!!!!

Hugs

Hugs

Frank

The drama bores me

I somehow get passed up by all the drama, just like water off a ducks back. Sure, there are stories I either don't start or don't finish but that is usually because it is heading in a direction that I do not care to go. I don't usually comment on that sort of thing.

As to how these flame wars get started, gets me. One author one time said to me, we don't agree on much do we? Well, I guess we don't but I did not respond to her. I was confused and wondered where the offense was but I was not about to get into something with her.

I try to be gentle, but to the point; not wasting words. I like mostly romantic, stories with good endings. Astonishingly to me, some of the stories I used to enjoy probably might not attract me today. Why, I can't say. I like this site and feel comfortable here. It is not my whole life and I do not have a melt down over what goes on here.

Gwen

I just know this will all end in tears -- snicker --

I can see myself clicking the wrong button and ignoring myself.

If I do that, please inform the administrator. There may even be a button for that.

John clueless in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

ignore

what happens when you have ignored yourself after putting all the administrators on your ignore list? :->

Martina

To Ignore (Or Not)

There are several people on BC that I basically ignore. That is not elitism, it is just basic survival technique. I don't use the "ignore" button, I simply filter what that have to say thrugh a fine screen -- in most instances when I see their name I avert my eyes to something more interesting -- or less irritating.

I rarely watch FOX news for the same reason. I change the channel if Rush Limbaugh comes on my radio. I don't attend any more Michael Moore movies. These entities (people) have caused me to lose faith in what they have to say.

Considering the source is absolutely necessary to understanding the message. If we know the "message" is more than likely going to be absurd, why not "ignore"?

On BC, three people I ignore account for a large percentage of the postings. Having decided their message is not for me cuts down on my reading time -- considerably.

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

community

any community has people who can't go along. any opinion has an opposition, more often than not as honourable as the other side's. the key here is mutual respect and the realisation that someone who doesn't share an opinion isn't an enemy nor an idiot, and should be treated accordingly.

as for the ignore button, i doubt it will do much to keep fights off the board. though maybe third parties might be spared pages full of posts of no interest to them.

Is there a way to disable

laika's picture

the IGNORE USER feature on my account here? Maybe with the "Ignore Ignore Button" button?
Nevermind, ignore that.
~~~Laika
.

(Another 3 people prolly buttoned me out of their reality because of that...
Oh Lord, I feel so disenfranchised...)

.
We now return to our regular programming:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTl00248Z48
.

LOL -- Thank You!

Thanks for putting this comment back. I loved it the first time, and your sense of humor almost all the time.

I briefly tested the feature

Not on you Laika don't worry! ^_~
For anyone who hesitates I should say it is easily reverted in less than 5 mouse clicks once you go to your account preferences. And, you not only see the post, you can choose to read it as well, with just a single click.

Faraway

On rights of free advertisement:
Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

Faraway


On rights of free advertisement:
Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

Hey!

I wanted to ask for that! ^__^ But you can't make me ignore you, dangit, for getting the idea first.

So, how 'bout it Erin? Or would that be just too much, too silly work?

-Liz

-Liz

Successor to the LToC
Formerly known as "momonoimoto"