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What I'm wondering is those that transistioned after say, 20 years old, do you notice sexist remarks and how you are treated differently as a female than you were presenting as a male.
One of my stories had some of this in.The character was laughed at when she gave an opinion on football. Her partner ordered her drink and food without even asking herThis was guesswork though.
In the 80's I saw a documentary where a man posed as a women for a few days with hidden cameras.(post Tootsie)
In the plumbers merchant they told her she should ask her boyfriend or husband what she actually needed. The garage tried to convince her there was more wrong with her car than there was(this happens to guys too). She worked behind a bar at the end, a man knew she was male due to her large hands.
I asked this on a site I was on and got flamed. "you understand nothing about trans you f*&^" "They are born women" etc. That was not what I was asking. It's just trans people have a unique perspective on this, living on both sides of the fence in one lifetime.
The site was Tvchix. I deleted my profile last week. The forums are full of nasty activists, the worse one was an extremely left wing TV, who sounded like a man hating feminist. Men were the cause of the all the problems in the world, they should all die etc. She was a TV, but spent most of her time as male like me. When I pointed she like me, were part of the problem then. Didn't go down well.
Odd site they wouldn't let me post this innocent story
https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/91446/tea-party-boys-...
because it had boys in it. Yet there is no policing the vitriol on the forums.
I apologize in advance if the question uspsets anyone. I'm just curious. At lot of you ladies have tales to tell I'm sure. You seem a lot nicer on here. So far... (ducks for cover LOL)
Comments
Oh, hell yes
One of the jobs I had when I was younger was parts manager for a tractor dealership. This along with Dad's insistence that both my brother and I had to know simple things about car maintenance like how to grease the joints, how to do a minor tune up, how to replace the brake pads, the starter, the water pump and even the radiator. Simple to him, he was an airplane mechanic in the army.
Anyway, I learned a lot about vehicles selling parts and supplying them to mechanics.
Years passed. I had a number of office-type jobs and had not been around mechanics or machinery other than computers in more than a decade. One day I went out to my beater car to go to work and when I went to shift into second, there was a grinding noise. The car was stuck in second, I couldn't get it into third, first or reverse, or even neutral. It sounded exactly like a broken shift linkage to me because the clutch still worked.
Being a Ford, while broken, it was still driveable so I drove it to the nearest mechanics shop. I told the guy there what had happened and said, "It seems to be a broken shift linkage."
He said he wouldn't be able to help but would get the mechanic and tell him my problem. A little later a guy covered in grease arrived carrying a screwdriver and a pair of pliers. "Won't start, huh?"
"It starts fine," I said. "But I can't get it out of second. I think the shift linkage is broken." One clue being that the lever was in position for neutral even though the gears were obviously in second. The lever just flopped around like it didn't connect to anything unless you bore down hard.
He nodded, opened the hood (!!!), and used the screwdriver to get a spark out of the battery, then the pliers to open the distributor and blow imaginary dust off the points. Then he put a dust cloth on the seat, got behind the wheel and started it up. "Starts fine," he said.
I nodded. "I think it's the shift linkage. It's stuck in second."
He tried to get it into first, then reverse, then let the car jerk a bit as it started moving in second. (You could drive one of those old Fords all day in second as long as you didn't need to back up, or climb a steep hill, or reach freeway speeds.) He looked at me as he killed the engine by giving it too much gas for the gearing. "Seems to be stuck in second," he noted.
I nodded again. "I think it might be the shift linkage."
He carefully got out of the car, not getting any grease on the upholstery. "I think you have a broken shift linkage," he said. "You'll have to take it to Ford dealer. No one else is going to have the parts."
I thanked him, drove the car to work, and went to the Ford dealer on my lunch hour where I met a whole crew of dubious mechanics who did not even listen to my diagnosis until they had confirmed it themselves.
The parts clerk and I rolled our eyes at each other. She dealt with those ninnies every day.
<{{{;>
Wanda
Thanks Wanda. It does seem
Thanks Wanda. It does seem what you kept telling them was totally ignored, because it was coming from a woman.
Mind you, in my job a few years ago I took my Ford to the Ford garage at 9 AM to get the clutch done. Needed it to get home, as it was near the middle of London. I rang 4 times to ask if it would be ready. At 4.45p I called and they told me that it needed a new clutch.
When I told them I was coming to collect it, they said it needed a new clutch so I couldn't drive it. I said how do you think it got there? When I asked why they didn't just fit a clutch, they said they had to tell me it needed a new clutch, I couldn't tell them? I had to nurse it on a slipping clutch for 2 days.
I was 45 with a beard at the time. Fords seem to be like that the world over.
Leeanna
FORD : Fix Or Repair Daily
naturally, YMMV as long as you have an engineers friend with you to free the starter motor (from the days when I owned a Ford Prefect)
Samantha
Something similiar happend to me few years back
The wife spotted a jaguar XJ sitting behind the garage of a small independent car lot. She has always wanted a Jag so I stopped to see what they wanted for it. I looked it over, it needed the interior upholstery completely gutted and redone, possibly new carpet too. Under the hood I found the inline 6 cylinder engine there, but all the carburetors missing.
Asking where the carburetors were, the salesman told me his mechanic was rebuilding them. I asked what his mechanic's name was. When he asked why, I told him there were 3 people in the area who had the knowledge and equipment to rebuild and synchronize the carburetors properly and I knew the other 2.
Th car wasn't at their car lot the next day when I drove by. No idea what happened to it.
We the willing, led by the unsure. Have been doing so much with so little for so long,
We are now qualified to do anything with nothing.
It isn't just trans ladies...
It isn't just trans ladies, it's all women. One of my daughters was my shadow, when I went out to the garage to tinker she was right behind me. She even had her own piece of cardboard to lay on under a car when I was working on one. By 6 years old she knew the name, location and use of every tool in the garage. She preformed her first 3 angle valve job at the age of 12 while I watched from a stool drinking a beer. (something that most mechanics have no idea how to do)
When she was 14 we started work on the car she would get when she got her driver's license. Let's just say the car was not restored to "factory' specifications. I did have her do most the wrench turning on it. She became pretty damn good with my MIG welder too.
She is 35 now, with her own husband and children, and she is the one who deals with car repairs. As their car is under warranty she is the one that deals with the dealership's garage and she hates how they talk down to her. They treat her like she has no idea how cars work because she is a pretty girl, when she probably knows more about car repair than half the mechanics they employee!
We the willing, led by the unsure. Have been doing so much with so little for so long,
We are now qualified to do anything with nothing.
What!
"while I watched from a stool drinking a beer. (something that most mechanics have no idea how to do)" -- Are you sure? I think most of the mechanics I have known were perfectly comfortable drinking beer while sitting on a stool. :D
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
LOL I was going to say that,
LOL I was going to say that, but I didn't want then to think I was being snarky.
Leeanna
LOL
Yes I see how I should have formatted that statement differently...LOL
Most mechanics, even ASE certified as 'Master Mechanics' are trained and tested on repairing vehicles back to "Stock" condition. Everything today is done by reading the error codes produced by the onboard computer. The old days of listening to the engine and knowing what is wrong by the sound is long gone.
Most mechanics today have little to no knowledge and even less training on advanced modifications that can make the engine create more horsepower and or greater gas mileage.
With today's car's electronic fuel injection I would bet the young mechanics working in garages today can't even tell you what the stoichiometric fuel ratio is, what it means, and how important it is without googling it.
We the willing, led by the unsure. Have been doing so much with so little for so long,
We are now qualified to do anything with nothing.
Not just women
who get looked down upon by 'the man from the motor trade'.
A good number of years back, I had an intermittent problem with the gearbox on my car. Being a mechanical engineer (I even got Chartered Status!) I began to record the circumstances when it occurred. I took the detailed log to the repair shop and explained what the issue was and importantly how to make it happen at will.
Then there was silence from the repair shop for a week. I went back having been given the run around on the phone and asked why there had been no progress. They basically told me that I was lying about the problem. That was an outright lie. I saw from the odometer that they'd not even taken it out for a road test. I took the car back and made it clear that if they tried to charge me for their 'non work' I'd see them in court.
Less than a year later that place went bust.
And yes, the car was a FORD. A Mk 2 Escort.
Since then I have tried to get my car serviced at places that actually listen to the customer. This does not always work.
Most mechanics these days, are next to useless without their OBD tools.
Samantha.
Currently in Ukraine nobody
Currently in Ukraine nobody cares if you are a lady, or girl, or anything. If you were assigned "Male" at birth you are obliged to join military forces and fight bad Russians...
Trivia fact: "Bad" Russia never intentionally sent to war anyone who identified as different gender. There were several cases of FTM's infiltrating troops and fighting as males... but I never heard of a case where MTF was forced to go to war in "big bad Russia".
(and yes, in bad nasty ukraine attacking Russia to get "F" in passport you need to... just apply for a passport with "F" in a "gender" box... It helps if you are "in DRAG", but not a requirement...)
Casual Sexism
This is where anecdotal information and stereotyping anyone shows just how inaccurate it can be.
I didn't transition until I was 35. Before then I was seen as a skinny 'geek'. (of course, I'm forever grateful that I was now as it allows me to 'pass' much easier)
My father was an aircraft mechanic on F-4 Phantom IIs... and an auto mechanic... and an expert in COM/NAV avionics. When I was 8 he started teaching both me and my older sister electronics, mechanics, and numerous other "guy" things. While my sister only listened with half an ear and brain-dumped it all the moment she was released from the garage, I had a serious case of 'daddy worship' that has plagued the female of the species going back as far as dirt. I listened avidly and soaked it all in. Of course, my father was sure that he was teaching his 'son' to be a self-sufficient man... but the forced inclusion of my sister shows that his ideals weren't sexist in nature... he just thought everyone should know these things. (he even tried teaching them to Mom, but she could tell him 'No!' ::giggle:: )
The funny thing is that it was after I transitioned that mechanics stopped treating me like I was stupid. Before auto mechanics would constantly try to talk down to me or hand me double-talk about what was wrong with my car since I was such a total geek that I 'obviously' knew nothing about auto maintenance. When I would go in to get an alignment done, (something that I lacked the proper tools to do myself) they'd try to tell me I needed all new tires... or that the steering column was 'moments away' from falling apart... even though I knew these were false and could show them how and why. After I transitioned and would take my car in for maintenance, I was treated respectfully, my knowledge in auto mechanics was listened to, and I had shops bending over backwards to get my business. One even told me, "I could sell you a new set of tires, but the ones you have are fine, Miss. They just need rotating." (it was a new-to-me car and I had no idea how old the tires were and how close they were to dying, regardless of how much tread they had left)
The same goes with sports and other 'manly' arts. I loath sports, but I was made to watch them and even take part in them when I was younger. As a result, I understand them very well. Being the 'total geek' I used to be seen as, men would scoff any time I would give my opinion on the Dodgers' chances to take the NL Championship this year. After transition any time I made an observation it was met with, "That's a really good point." or some such.
The simple fact that I was a woman and could speak intelligently on a 'man's' subject made people actually listen, whereas when I was a 'geeky man' my opinion was derided, discarded, or straight-up laughed at.
Maybe is not about sexism at all... its just people being douches. YMMV.
Hugs,
Roberta
Hi Roberta, that's really
Hi Roberta, that's really very interesting
"The simple fact that I was a woman and could speak intelligently on a 'man's' subject made people actually listen, whereas when I was a 'geeky man' my opinion was derided, discarded, or straight-up laughed at."
It could be that they don't expect it from a woman, so they are pleasantly surprised to hear it. They expect a lot more form a guy, and "what would a skinny nerdy little runt like you know anyway?"
Women often say "That wouldn't have happened if I were a man!" Perhaps that is only true sometimes.
I hate the term mansplaining. It's used too often. You are a man and you explain( in the same way as you would explain to anyone) and someone tells you, you're mansplaining..
One even told me, "I could sell you a new set of tires, but the ones you have are fine, Miss. They just need rotating."
Perhaps he liked you? One of the benefits some women get that they don't complain about.
The amont of times I've seen men changing a tyre for a woman at the roadside.
Leeanna