Leading by Example

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Pray I'm not making anyone disgusted. If one thinks I'm a bitch, I'm okay with that. Yes I made the VA twice this week, Tuesday and Thursday. Wore the same rust colored shirtwaist dress both times with an all weather tan overcoat as the weather was in the forties. The gentlemen at the information center were a whole lot of fun Tuesday as I lightly flirted with them while asking directions to different medical teams. They were both laughing and passing back the sass each time I passed by. Tuesday was donate blood to the VA Vampires and dermatology. Try and talk to Endo while there but no medical staff on duty that day.

Thursday, two different gentlemen naming the info center. I stop and visit as I try and find out where my appointments are today. Same as the previous two, they are a lot of fun. I'm there at 7:30 AM to try and get the Vampires to draw blood before Endo. No such luck but had a wonderful visit with the nurse in Endo. We talked about our lives, she's married to her spouse. She was interested in what it was like to be transgender and if I had run into a lot of bigotry and or hatred. I told her not really as I have always passed very well.

Met the doc and he mentioned all my tests were good except I was on the low side for estrogen. I didn't want to up it as I am having HELL coping with emotions and believe it or not I know exactly what PMS is as I experienced that every month for most of my life up until I got older.. He left it at that.

Been up since 3:30 and I'm getting desperate for a powder room. Amarillo had unisex bathrooms all over the VA spread. I have yet to see a single one in OKC VA. If I don't find one it's going to be the men's. I can handle them without any problems with a lot of wit. Stopping at the info center I ask the guys about a unisex bathroom. It stopped them for a second.

"I can use the men's."

They started looking through a folder they had on their desk. This VA had one but it was well off the beaten track and kinda hidden unless one knew exactly where to look. So after thanking them and a finger wave I was gone.

OKC VA has LGBT group meeting for an hour on Thursday morning. I asked to be penciled and and attended it. I'll hold my reservation but I won't be returning.

They also have a Transgender meeting same day in the afternoon. Again I asked to be penciled in. This was more what I considered informative. They discussed what is changing and what is planned in the VA for the future. I met a lot of nice people (ladies) who have been going to the meetings for years. Generally it's a mutual support group. Day of Remembrance was coming up and they talked about those in Oklahoma who had been murdered. There was going to be a meeting at a convention center this coming week for "all" trans and those supportive and interested. I encouraged them to always travel in pairs or more when out. To never go night clubbing where they aren't sure it is TG inclusive. To understand their alcohol limit and not be stupid. To let friends know if they must travel alone.

Eventually the conversation drifted over to when one is threatened how to deescalate the situation. That got me to giggling. Serious conversation and I'm giggling. The counselor gave me a curious look? That's when I told them to show the gun one is carrying in their purse. She looked horrified. I told her I don't carry into the VA except that one time when I made a mistake.

Most of the girls buy online and the conversation went that direction. I also buy some things online but usually shop in the department stores to get clothes that fit. Everyone agreed buying bras was a crap shoot and every manufacture had their own size chart. I agreed it was almost impossible to find a good fitting bra that offered the right support. To get the right size bikini I shopped in the department store.

Everyone turned to look at me. "What? Of course you have to try it on to know if it fits or not." I think my counselor asked the question on everyone's mind. "You went into the store and tried on bikinis?" "Yes."

We shared a lot of ourselves with each other that afternoon. I tried to encourage the girls to get involved with their government and let their congressmen and senators know what they like and don't like about bills coming up. To get involved in the laws and decisions that affect their lives. Sharing with others such as themselves is great but is not more than a feel good moment.

I'm a voice of one of so few but I hope I'm making a difference as I add my opinion to the bills and laws that come up.
Love all those on BCTS and the ladies who keep it going.
Barb
Life is meant to be lived, not worn until it's worn out. Try living instead of existing.

PS: I was the "ONLY" person at the VA both days this week wearing a dress. I might have to wear jeans to wrestle goats but I'm going to be a real woman on those long trips. Many of my blogs I post hoping to encourage others to be themselves. But most of all, be careful, be observant of your surroundings and the people in that area. Many don't approve I carry my own protection. I've been threatened but I've never been afraid. Please use common sense no matter what state or nation you live in.

I encourage you to live your life but more importantly don't lose it. If anyone is in my area and wants an escort to venture out, PM me. I don't drink, smoke, or go clubbing, I'm gender fluid. I can be your boyfriend or your girlfriend but the number one is I won't let anything happen to you.

PS:PS: Many stores have a veterans discount on veterans day. Some have pretty hefty discounts. Check in your area if there was anything you thought you might need but put it off.

Comments

Hugs, Barb!

I'm not a veteran but I certainly DO want to honor those that are!

Last month, I made it to thirty years in the civilian Federal Government and have PLENTY of battle scars from that, but nothing that could compare to what the men and women in the Armed Services have had to endure--without the pile-on of having to face gender issues.

All I can say is I salute you!

As for going out, Barb. Love to ... but there is still that issue of that dress you borrowed the last time .... (Just kidding!)

I love you, as always!

HUGS!
S

Shauna

BarbieLee's picture

Love, the job you ladies do and put up with the public is a battle front all it's own. I could never do it without a little "laying on of the hands" when they began insulting me because of some misdeed I had no control over. I know sweety exactly what dealing with the public is like. Jean and I were in business for more than forty years. Over ninety percent were real treasures and then there were the...
Yes, you are a warrior in your own way. The bad ones we never dealt with them again. Something those in government have no choice over.
Now about the "little nothing turquoise dress" you think I borrowed? Love, are you sure it was me? Bru and Sam along with unmentioned others are more guilty than me when borrowing almost dresses. Bru being the number one offender. Damn girl has the body for such. I could learn to hate her if she wasn't such a beauty.
Love, i'd go out to dinner with you any day of the week. I'd even buy as long as it wasn't in NY or one of those hundred dollar a plate dinners. I have to support dependents, tractors and equipment. I'm like the joke of the farmer who won the million dollar lottery.
"What are you going to do with all that money?" Asked the reporter for the tabloids.
He scratched his head for a second. "Well, I guess I'll keep farming till it's all gone."
Hugs Shauna, love you sis. I pray you find happiness you so deserve.
Barb
Life is meant to be lived, not worn until it's worn out.

PS: I'm in Harbor Frt and Attwoods this afternoon. Jeans and hoodie. Every single person I interacted with called me miss or ma'am. The girl checking me out in Harbor Frt knew my male name. She's such a beautiful fruitcake. Totally weird with lots of body art and so cute. She always wants a hug when she sees me. She asked what my real name was. "Barbie Jean Lee." She put that into the system. I've known this lady in Atwoods for years and she said I looked nice and for a reason only God understands, the conversation drifted to the VA and she wanted to know how they were treating me? The unsaid question "as a female". She's a veteran herself. I checked the mirror when I got in my car before heading home to see if I was wearing lipstick and makeup. Not a drop of makeup only the smallest of ice blue studs in my ears. My hair is naturally curly so a ponytail fluffs out and covers half my back.
I guess everyone has known but I always changed to jeans and work shirt before I went to town for parts. Never a dress or skirt, sure a blouse at times but that's just a shirt. Weird day. I'm still not sure what outed me?

Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl