My Stalker is back! Strange guy. Older man. First time I met him was in a discount clothing store. I was checking out some shirts and he sorta struck up a conversation with me. At first it seemed okay, but then it started to get a little strange. For one thing he stayed with me as I browsed. I walked away and started looking at blouses on another aisle and when I turned around he was right there. Then he started commenting on my choices, quite as if he had a say-so on what I wore. I finally grabbed a few blouses and ducked into a lady's changing booth. When I finally stuck my head out he was gone.
That was kind of the pattern. He apparently knows what I drive and that I like to shop at thrift stores and discount stores. I can usually find something nice that won't break the bank. Plus it's kinda the thrill of the search! Will I find something nice? And where will I find it?
Well, I'll be browsing the racks and suddenly there he is. "Well, you're all scrubbed up and pretty." Or "That one really brings out the color of your eyes!" What? I have hazel eyes!
I hadn't seen him in awhile and sorta forgot about him. So to my shock he turned up last Friday at the Good-Will Store. "You find anything pretty?" My heart jumped up into my mouth and my stomach contracted to the size of a golf ball! Full-blown panic attack! The women's toilet wasn't far away, so I ran in there. After a few minutes I stuck my head out, and he was across the room by the doors staring at me.
I quickly ducked back inside and sat on a bench and shook. It finally hit me, this took me back to when I was sexually assaulted as a child! He didn't look like the man that raped me but the words and actions were the same. When that hit me I ended up tossing my cookies. I got cleaned up and stepped out to find he was apparently gone.
I spent the next couple of hours wandering the aisles, hoping if he was waiting he'd have got bored and left. The clerk asked me if I was okay, and I said no. I asked her if she'd seen the guy and managed to describe him. Not a great one but given that I went into a brain freeze when it occurred I did give a rough description. She remembered seeing him leave.
That just caused my stomach to contract even further and she saw it in my face. "Why, what's wrong?" so I told her about my encounters. Then she managed to surprise and shock me!
"Maybe he likes you and is just a little shy."
I very forcefully denied that as something I'd even be interested in. Then I left and went to eat. 90% of which got thrown away.
Comments
If You Have A Phone
Take a picture, or several, of him, and let him know his attentions are unwelcome.
Agreed
Just say it plainly that you are not interested and to leave you alone.
He then will be subject to harrassment and is open to being arrested and stuff if he becomes a true stalker.
There was a man at my first job who 'just wanted' to have lunch with me and that he was not trying to date me and I said no, spelling it out that that is what he was looking for.
Point is, I had to be firm about my position.
He never did ask me again thankfully.
File a Police Report
Karen, you MUST get this on record. This is not what a normal person does. Cellphone camera was mentioned. Good idea. I did that last week and the guy threatened me if I didn't delete it. Sheriff is on one button speed dial and they were immediately online. The whole conversation went to the Sheriff's office. Hon if the situation escalates you do not have time to go searching for numbers to call for help. Sadly I was next to a school so I was not carrying. It's illegal to carry a gun close to a school.
You have friends who can follow you and be discrete? Have them take pictures from a distance before closing in for support. This situation is not to be ignored as just an uncomfortable encounter. I wish to God I could be there for you. Take the offense Karen. Pictures, police report.
Hugs Karen
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
File a police report.
Then call as soon as you spot him next time. You do not need a gun. I doubt he will attack in the store. Carry a knitting needle in your purse and have it in your hand when you leave the store. If he grabs you, stab his eye with it. try to hit the back of his skull. It will probably be deflected by the bones surrounding the eye but almost no will keep coming after that.
(Others have good ideas) No dead-ends or cul-de-sacs.
Don't flee to where you can be trapped (ex: bathroom.).
Get to a store employee/checkout registers. Then you are not alone, and have a witness(es) who can phone for help.
I concur: he's a nut job, and his actions may escalate.
If he accosts you again
take his photo and tell him you're reporting him to the police for harassment, that may do the trick, but also make it clear you don't want his company. If you haven't actually told him to go away, he may feel you like him or something. If he continues report him to the police.
I had a telephone stalker over Easter and it made me angry. He phoned out of the blue a couple of weeks ago and tried to engage me in conversation supposedly suggesting he was being stalked by the security services. I think he was bonkers and I tried to be polite, then ignored him until in the end I told him to go away. He continued for a day or two but seems to have finally got the message.
Angharad