It seems every politician wants to pass some law to force everyone else into compliance as herd animals. Too many of us don't fit in with the herd no matter how many laws are passed. Let's begin the story. Trip to OKC and my change from the Women's Clinic to a Gender Clinic. Had met several of the staff from other clinics. Seems as if anything LBGT is pretty fluid with healthcare providers covering a wide expanse of offices and clinics weekly. Remind me to NOT change in the future. The paperwork is a killer and X years of past records fills a large binder.
Staff, medical personnel, doctors, nurses were courteous, pleasant, and professional. Had a ton of fun discussing John Deere tractors, goats, farm life and serious medial changes in the trans treatment that has come in the last few years. Several jokes, lots of compliments later it was time to go and it was after five o'clock. I had a glass of milk at six that morning and plans for several stops in OKC besides the clinic. Didn't happen.
A stop at Braums for a hamburger, Dr Pepper and a powder room stop before I head home. The young girl behind the counter couldn't take her eyes off me when I ordered. I'm use to it and it doesn't bother me. Couldn't be my fly is unzipped, I'm wearing a skirt. The problem arose at the powder room. No Unisex bathroom. Damn gender laws! I go into the men's as it's the only legal course. Figured I could handle any complaints there easier than I could spend a couple hours at the police station explaining, I'm not a male. It was a mistake on my birth certificate. Besides I'm carrying prescriptions labeled for Barbie Jean Lee, explain those. There are so many things we MUST legally and surgically do in the eyes of the law before we are allowed to be called female. At the clinic I was told I was pretty as they complimented me on my skirt, blouse, boots, and rest of my attire, a lot of my IDs carry M. I would have used the ladies if all my IDs were marked F. Choose wisely when making decisions. The men's bathroom was the best of bad choices. Kinda disappointed there were no questions, no problems. I'm no longer blonde so they couldn't have thought I was a ditz? She took a wrong turn or can't read? They were gentlemen and didn't make it an issue?
Do not do what I did if you aren't positive you can protect yourself. Two bad choices need to be three bad choices. Ask a truck driver about the third choice. Sometimes the only option is the third option. Even if you live in the city and the road trips aren't that long. Prepare because things don't always go as planned. I've been stuck on a freeway parking lot for over an hour myself. God, I hate cities! Stay safe, always aware, and extra cautious. Reading about transgender murders or suicides eats at my heart and soul.
Barb
Live your life your way. One of the worst thing in life is building regrets. Or I wish I had.
Which Bathroom
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I am not going to post what I wanted. I would probably offend a lot of people here.
Good luck navigating all these constraints and regulations.
Anne Margarete
Thanks Hon
Those of us who should be the most open minded about accepting all things we don't actually agree with seem to be the most demanding of them all. Think my way, agree with me or I will destroy you. I've been banned, ostracized, and endured flame wars from conservatives and liberals.
May you find your niche in life and be accepted.
Barb
Adrian Rogers
"The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else." "You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealth out of prosperity."
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
At the start,
My IDs were a mixed bag. I had Danish and Norwegian documents that said Female. American documents that said Female, and other American documents that said male. On top of that I had an offer of permenant Norwegian residency and citizenship if I married another Norwegian, both listing gender as N/A (not applicable) or more importantly Not Relevant. Then my Danish papers showed my entry into the country as a alien resident of Norway, male. Then leaving as a Norwegian female. My nice shiny new US passport said I was US born female of US born parents.
Funny thing, most of this paperwork got ignored by the US PTBs. I didn't have any instate IDs, like a drivers license with male markings to contradict my US passport so everybody just used it as my default ID. Got some funny looks at first until I discovered my Norwegian and UK clothing was throwing people off. Shit, there went my cute British minis in favor of more acceptable American (drab) fashion.
Didn't get the third degree about which bathroom I used. The few people I became friends with had only met me since I returned from Norway so they had taken me at face value.
“When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn’t become a king. The palace becomes a circus.” - Turkish Proverb
Life can be a bitch or funny
It is up to us how we accept the hurdles thrown at us as we cruise through this life. As if it wasn't enough of a challenge by itself, those outside looking in try and define us to their own standards. Sadly, Harry Benjamin got it wrong and we have been putting up with society's insanity ever since.
Karen, you made my day as one who has been able to cope with this difference we were blessed with.
Hugs hon
Barb
Life is a gift, treasure it until it's time to return it.
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
Extraordinary Luck
Extraordinary circumstances. I had a Norwegian uncle with pretty much a blank check from the Norwegian government as a major resistance figure during the Nazi occupation in WW2. He pulled a number of favors for me and impossible things suddenly became possible. Most of them just required approval signatures, and as one said (with a wink) "Everyday I get a stack of papers to sign, sometimes I have no idea what I'm signing."
Uncle also pointed out that when receiving a stack of confusing and contradictory papers most bureaucrats will take the easy way out. Normally that would be "No" but since my most recent documents, including a valid US passport, said female it was easiest to go with the flow. Besides, if there was any blowback he could make the embassy the patsy. Signed, sealed, and delivered!
“When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn’t become a king. The palace becomes a circus.” - Turkish Proverb
Ladies' vs. Men's toilets: YMMV
I feel for you. You do what you have to do to feel safe (and hopefully be safe!)
I've been fairly lucky. I live in a part of the USA where, for the most part, the transphobes don't rule (NYC area), and I haven't had any problems using the ladies' room. I'm pretty sure that anyone who tries can tell I'm trans, but I don't know what people see from a superficial glance. If I need to "go" when I'm at Grand Central, or at a rest stop on the turnpike, or wherever, I just queue up with the other ladies (law of the universe ladies' rooms will always have a line), and nobody says or does anything. The same pretty much everywhere around here. I feel even safer now that NY has passed GENDA.
I don't know how I'd fare in, say, Texas or Missouri, but I simply won't go there. Any place that seriously considers a bathroom bill is on my no-go list.
The Law of the Jungle
If you vote for hateful people, you get hateful laws.
Jill (That Jill)
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Gender separated rest rooms in the jungle?
Last time I visited a jungle THAT specific problem wasn't very acute.
The time to reach an appropriate spot was more of a problem. ;)
or perhaps when I remember more closely :(
Not that many years removed from diapers
Three things which are necessary in my vehicles. 1: water 2: paper towels 3: toilet paper I might mention I also travel with cookies, a gallon of milk, and Excedrin for those long trips and never goes as planned meetings. Growing up I had to use leaves more than once not too many years after I left diapers behind. Those years are so far removed I'm surprised I still remember. Some things are unforgettable I guess.
Now let's discuss truly important things. Jill, the yellow sundress you were wearing at the finals soccer match last summer. That wasn't a coach uniform. I'd look good wearing that to the Old Fiddler's Convention at the Museum next July. You do want me to look cute don't you?
Bru, love, Candy sent me a pic of a Hot Tamale in a red silk dress. Don't try and deny it was you. I've seen neckerchiefs with more material in them than that dress. I'd be too scared to wear it in public but a girl can dream.
Hugs Ladies
Barb
Life is meant to be lived, not worn until it's worn out.
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl