Or maybe I’m just being maudlin. More likely it’s just the bottom of my cycle and I’m being hormonal.
I find myself losing friends slowly, apparently destined to be the last one. Consigned to turn out the lights and lock the door on my way out.
Am I no better than the legendary albatross? Losing friends simply by making friends? Am I no better than a modern day red death? Killing people by the simple act of getting to know them?
Is this my penance? Is this my just desserts? Repayment for all the wrongs which I have done, for all my failings in life? Must I be the custodian of my friends remains? Is my fate to watch over their families and place fresh flowers upon graves? Am I perpetually doomed to stand sentinel over their tombs?
I miss you all terribly and I hope and pray that one day I will see you again, that we will be reunited on the other side. Save me a drink and a dance.
Comments
oh dear, you are so precious to us
I hope you stick around a long time. Huggles!
Each One's Path is the same but Different
This mortal flesh was never designed to be immortal. It is only a "proving ground" to give us more opportunity to figure out what is or what isn't our most precious treasures in this mortal life and our immortal life. Reading your comment, you have the truth of it. You didn't mention a single material item you think about caring for or leaving behind. What you lamented was family and friends both living and those who have preceded you. The only gifts no one can take from us.
What I found amusing is you find yourself as the watchman who turns out the lights. No love, you're the watchman who hands over the job to those coming behind us. As caring and loving as you are it is understandable you made the error. Those who follow won't have the same care, love, and understanding you do when they step into the job. Maybe they will be worse, as good, or better but it will be their job not yours to do it their way.
If you're feeling melancholy about the way life has gone, blame it on PMS. I do.
Hugs D. Eden
Barb
A\woman knowing her time was getting close invited a pastor over to her house to discuss her final wishes. She told the pastor everything she wanted for her funeral service, including which songs were to be sung, which scriptures were to be read, as well as the dress she’d like to be dressed in. When all she had explained all her wishes, the pastor was preparing to leave. Just then, the woman remembered something important.
The woman told the pastor her last request, “I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand.”
Bewildered, the pastor pondered why she would want that. The woman explained that over the years, she attended many potluck dinners at the church. Whenever she finished the main course, someone would come over to clear the plates and say, “Keep your fork.” That was her favorite part of the meal because she knew something better was coming—such as cake, or pie. Thus, to her keep your fork always meant that “something better was coming.” She knew she wouldn’t live long, but deep down in her heart, she knew something better was coming.
The dress I wish to be buried in is in my closet. The bridal gown is the most beautiful one I've ever seen. Everyone can use their own judgement why I want such. Hope it still fits.
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
We only ever truly lose someone if we allow them to be lost.
Someone passing on doesn't mean that we no longer have them in our lives: it simply means that we have to rely on the part of them we carry around with us to remember them by.
So long as you remember those you love who are no longer with us, they are never truly gone.
*hugs*
Melanie E.
Celebrate
We've all seen dear friends (and sometimes enemies) pass away. We are the ones left to remember them. Without us they would fade into dust.
Raise a glass and enjoy being alive. I went to the dentist yesterday and the previous time he told me I would have to have a tooth out because it was poisoning my body. I kept on dodging the issue, using the virus as an excuse, and yesterday he told me that said tooth was now behaving itself and would probably last for a few years yet!
I hope that applies to me too (at 78).
You lose old friends but it's never too late to meet new ones. You may not know it but you're one of my new ones.
It Has Resolved Itself
Don't you love it when you have a doctor tell you that your critical condition has "resolved itself."
My grandmother told me many times that you go to a hospital to die. She didn't fully grasp the concept of wellness. But I do think much of our current health care cost problems are easily explained in that what used to be terminal illnesses are now considered " chronic. "
Miracles cost money.
That's a gross over-simplification but any politician that promises a fix through a change of systems is selling a bill of goods.
I created a government owned insurance company and understand quite a bit about this field. The company I created is no longer in my control. When I ran it its expense ratio was called at 22%. That was two decades ago and since then corruption has nearly doubled the "administrative cost."
Socialized medicine is not a panacea. What we need is a complete overhaul of our government starting with term limits and restrictions on political donations.
Our bodies are amazing. They are constantly fixing themselves and resolving issues. Our government hasn't solved anything except same sex marriage for the last thirty years. I recently watched all of the West Wing. We're still arguing about the same issues they were arguing about in 1999.
If only our government was as capable of self-healing.
Jill
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)