Hello everybody!

So... I’m back and WOO BOY, it’s been a long journey to get back here. The world is very different now. There’s a WOKE CAUTION tab on entries here that simply wasn’t a thing when I wrote my little stories back in those halcyon days of the mid 00s. As you can see by the pic below and my profile pic, A LOT has happened in the intervening years. The most obvious thing is... I’m a woman.

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I mean, yes, technically before I was still a woman on the inside (kind of) but now I’m a woman on the outside (mostly!) See the distinction? XD I began medical transition last year when I came out to my friends and family and co-workers and the dog next door, and the random Mormon I met in the street, and the virtual Japanese idol, Hatsune Miku and, yes, even to my parents. My mother who is what we lovingly once referred to as a Jesus freak, the same mother that wears her invisible MAGA hat to the church because she believes President Trump was ordained by God, has been strangely okay with it. In fact, I’ve been full time at work since November of 2018 and my life has only gotten better.

I’m just the best version of me in all facets of my life and goddamn it, I’M HAPPY. Happy in a way that defies description. Happiness that can only be expressed in prancerizing to CHVRCHES Life is Dead album in a giant office building after hours. My brain is so sniper focused, and my words which I used to agonize over in real life as synapses failed to connect, seem to come so much more naturally to me now. Especially, in terms of speaking. In addition to switching teams, I’ve also gotten older and dare I say it, a little wiser? For one thing, I’ve rediscovered a love of reading propelled by literature. I’m reading Daphne Du Maurier’s Rebecca and just luxuriating on every gorgeous word. I go through about a half a chapter every two days but the way she describes things is nothing short of magic.

I take time now to be part of the world around me, to cultivate joy. They’re not really in fashion right now (though one girl told me they’re coming back) but my favorite shoe is currently a pair of ballet flats that say love across the toe. I like how they put my feet closer to the ground (even if my arches don’t) so I can feel the texture of the Earth. That’s not to say my love affair with a pair of high heels is over, but my idea of femininity has evolved and my sense of fashion has had a MEGA POKEMON EVOLUTION. See? I still know my pop culture ephemera :P

Anyhoo, another transgender friend was asking me if I’d ever read Sapphire’s Place or Big Closet and that’s when I remembered this wonderful story depot. So I popped back here to grab a link to share a story I’d written so very long ago called "If the Shoe Fits.” In doing so I re-read the saga of Alex Hoth (terrible name) and his (perhaps her?) love affair with a female version of herself and I balled my eyes out. Maybe I wasn’t ready to write the next part before?

I am now.

That is... if you’re still interested?

Promises, promises... if I start writing now I just might beat George RR Martin to the punch though no one made my magnum opus into a TV show and finished it for me... yet? HINT HINT.

So how have all of you been?

Thank you again for reading my story through the years and I’m so sorry I left you hanging. The only thing I will promise is that I will not publish a new chapter until the tale is finished. I’m still hoping to get 10 good chapters out of it. Give me like 3 months and then you can forget about me forever again XD

Love to you all!

-Sabrina Rei (a.k.a. meancat)