Had a friend who works at a store I shop at ask me if I watch RuPaul's Drag Race. She assumed that because I'm trans that of course I do.

I told her no. That I hated the show, that I would turn it to the worst Z-movie in the world before I'd watch it. She laughed and asked me why.

I know other transwomen have talked about RuPaul's tragic Transmisogyny, transphobia, disparaging remarks and more. I won't rehash that. I will also say that I loved the character of RuPaul many years ago. Here's an elegant woman who PASSES, 6' tall, in 6" heels looking FANTASTIC. I loved it. Then I heard from the Drag community that I'm not a woman.

That was a shock to say the least. One would think that a group (gay men, crossdressers, and performers) who is marginalized and made fun of would go out of their way to include others who were also marginalized for the very same reason, instead of going out of their way to hurt them. Especially when a transwoman was responsible for starting their Gay Pride and getting them most of the rights they now enjoy.

But it comes down to a few key things:

1. Hate does not belong in our community at all.
2. They are performance artists, and exaggerated.
3. They are purposefully doing all they can to look extreme.
4. They say they are celebrating femininity, but I know of no woman, cis or other, who wears screaming green neon eyeshadow up to their hairline and out to their ears.
5. At the end of the day, THEY are the man in the dress.
5a. They get to go home and untape themselves
5b. They get to take their tits off and put them in a box.
5c. They get to say all they want about me and my life.
6. I HAVE TO LIVE WITH THEIR DISPARAGING REMARKS ABOUT ME.

I am not a man in a dress. I live as a woman all the time. I have extra body parts that I don't want, would cut off if I could, will have cut off if I get the money, DESPERATELY want to have transplants from any transman who has body parts they don't want. I want all of being a woman. I don't care about the bathrooms, I want to get rid of feces and piss when I go in there, or to put my makeup on.

But because of what RuPaul, Dame Edna and many other drag actors have said over time, I'M the one who gets punched, I'M the one who has a woman scream "DID I COME INTO THE WRONG BATHROOM" when I'm doing my makeup, I'M the one who watches a woman walk backwards away from me while I do the makeup because I'm in the Lady's room. I get to have that happen. I get "Dude Looks Like a Lady" sung at me in bad a bad voice while I walk down the street (which has totally destroyed Lola and that song for me, I cannot enjoy them).

Yes, I am gay. I am a lesbian. I love women, my wife, and I have had bi leanings sometimes. But I'm not trying to peep on your wives or daughters, I'm in the fucking bathroom to piss.

At the end of the day, the Drag Performers on Drag Race are men pretending to be an exaggerated form of a woman, and they get to go back to being male and having male privilege. I lost all my privilege when I started this 7 years ago. I and ladies like me are at the BOTTOM of the empowerment chart.

RuPaul and others like him have sacrificed little, really, to disparage me.

There's a saying among men, "I'd give my left (or right) nut to have ________________." Meaning they would sacrifice something they love dearly to get what they want.

This is me. This is who I am. I am a woman, and I have LITERALLY tried to give BOTH nuts to be this.

RuPaul, the Drag Race, transmisogynists, transphobes and all those who can't see that, can suck my left tit.