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Reading this chapter brought to mind a situation I encountered once. There was a potential assailant, and I realized that if he did not refrain very soon, I was going to do him. He was close enough, and an easy shot. My hand was in my purse, touching the instrument, a heavy revolver. Suddenly he got a strange look on his face and fled the scene. Threat resolved.
Later, I realized that I knew I would take action and it would not be good. It bothered me for a week or so until I went to talk to a combat veteran about it. He felt that confronting that decision, even without action, could be very stressful and traumatic.
So, when one is in the jaws of the beast and must take action. And then her peers not being supportive is pure horse puke. On the other hand, it is likely that they would not want her to become too comfortable with it, and do it unnecessarily. Sworn officers in America are often put on Administrative leave to decompress. I have no idea the time frame.
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Can you do it
When I took my armed security course my instructor asked us could we draw our weapons and shoot someone. Course you know what the response was, Yes, we could do it. He looked at everyone that said that and said we were lying if we said that Yes we could do it. He said you never know what you can do till your put into a situation where you have to decide to fight or flee. I know during my years as an armed security officer I have only drawn my gun three times and never had to fire a shot from it. All three times I realize I was taking my life and someone else life into my hands when I did draw. All I know was afterwards, I was glad I never had to pull the trigger. I don't think I could had lived with myself if I did.
If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it.”
― Toni Morrison