How I Fell in Love With Gaby

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So the other day I was searching amazon for a new book to read. I entered the search term cycling and scrolled down the list. I really enjoying cycling biographies and have read most of them. As I scrolled down the list I came across a book cover with a really cute Anime girl, it just seemed so out of place, I thought what could this book have to do with cycling. Well the description really offered no clues but I was curious. I'm not a huge anime fan, I like the really good stuff, Studio Ghibli, some of the better series, I'd just finished watching SteinsGate. Anyway I have a real soft spot for cutely drawn anime characters so after some more searching I entered "Gaby cycling" into google and found Bigcloset.

Hmm, transgender cycling adventures, wow, how weird. I began reading the first book, in all honesty I wasn't sure, the first person style and British language kind of put me off at first. Also I think it was a bit hard to follow the action in the first book. I kept at it and was hooked.

I began to realize that Gaby was the ultimate form of escapism for me. I'm a 30 something married guy, no kids, and very little social life, not many friends and my main hobby is cycling with a small group of guys and with the current winter that's curtailed a bit. Gaby had everything I could want, youth, outstanding cycling ability, fun friends, and then there's the whole dressing up like a girl thing. It seems like everyday Drew is either shopping and buying stuff, winning races, having goofy adventures with his friends, I'm so jealous.

Growing up in a small rural town I had a few friends, and though my parents were far from poor they were extremely cheap, spending money was the worst possible thing imaginable. My father was a workaholic who I didn't see all that much, and when I did see him he was often in a bad mood. My Mom was a home maker and was more or less perfect but lived in constant fear of ticking off my Dad. That paints a bleak picture, it wasn't always that bad, we had lots of good times too.

I was a pretty wimpy kid, afraid of things, sucked at sports, and just generally a dork. I began riding bikes kind of seriously when I was 13, I had always ridden but around the time I was 13-14 I began to ride with a local cycling club. Never have been that fast, but I fell in love with it.

So that covers the cycling aspect of the books, how about the transgender aspect I never had any crazy cross dressing adventures like Drew does, but I thought about things like that. I had this massive fear of embarrassment, and I used to fixate on it. I'm not a transgender person, I don't wish I was a girl, but growing up the idea of being treated like a girl, a sissy, a pansy or whatever just freaked me out and yet fascinated me.

I had a younger brother, and 5 male cousins, there were no girls in my extended family until I was older. While we were all loved I could tell there was a general desire for a little girl to be in our extended family. I remember when I was maybe 9 or 10, one get together type thing my aunt and grandma were talking about Easter dresses cuteness and whatnot. My Grandma joked about having put away a girl's Easter dress but it didn't look like she'd need it, she looked at me and laughing said, it'd look so cute on you, I could dress you up so cute for Easter. It was a joke of course, and I of course acted like I was disgusted by the very notion, I knew it was just a joke, but I imagined how completely mortified I'd be if I were forced to wear a cute dress and Easter bonnet and paraded around. It was so strangely exciting.

Besides the trans and cycling aspects their is the English culture aspect of the Gaby books. I've never been to England, but it's a place I'd love to visit.

I was so enthralled by reading Gaby books I began to imagine my own Americanized version of the story and started writing it.

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