I have a question that I can not answer. The answer would make life all the more confusing for me. I am not sure I want the question answered. A great many people I know are much nicer people than I am. They carry heavier loads, have more cares, and often they face bad health every single day.
Yet almost always their reaction to me is so confusing to me. I wonder how they can be so blind? I just spent the day with my little brother, who I was never really close to when we were young. My X kept me distant from him later because she felt that he was somehow less than my family; a bad influence. When I called him to tell me about the change in my life, he imediately wanted to see me. When he arrived at my house, he said,"Now everything makes sense". In the midst of his personal struggle concerning me, he does things to take care of me, paying for my phone and making sure that I am OK.
He is a "Manly Man". He called me one day and cajoled me into working with him to make the huge model Planes that we used to make together as teens. Frankly I have no interest in the hobby any more but since he asked, I am drawn into it, not for the actual task but for the companionship. I am thankful that he wants me in his life.
It is that way with many people I meet. They seem to see something in me and they want to be with me. Or, perhaps they see the needyness that is actually there. I am always happy when someone "bangs on my cage'. Inscrutably, they seem to enjoy the time with me, and I enjoy them also. I am boundlessly grateful to others for their affect in my life. While most never say anything, their presence challenges me to quit being so introspective; so selfishly self focused. They drag me from my shell kicking and screaming and what right do I have to object?
So, here I sit feeling profoundly thankful for those people in my life. Actually, there are just lots of you out there, but I did not mention anyone except my brother for fear of missing someone. You are there and I plainly do not deserve you.
You all challenge me to buck up, grow up, stand straight, put my shoulders back and STOP whining. I LOVE YOU ALL; THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Khadja Gwen Ellen Brown bint Boucher
Comments
Speaking for myself,
the answer is very simple. You need, I try to supply whatever it is that you need. Why? Because I can "see" in you, a complex, caring, compassionate human being who has walled herself off, hoping to not be noticed by the "big bad world."
Gwen, you are a sweet, loving person, one I feel it's very much worth getting to know and keeping as a friend.
It's as simple as that. I care about you. So do many others.
Many, comfort huggles (and a light spanking to remind you that you DO need to "get back out there") from,
Catherine Linda Michel
As a T-woman, I do have a Y chromosome... it's just in cursive, pink script.
Its not love
Gwen,
I don't see it as a love but as a caring respect. Love to me means intimacy. I am not an intimate person but I am caring and concerned. We often see the good or bad in others and our decision to bond is made from that observation. For each of us there is a season, sometimes those we come in contact with are for a season and no longer. Those that go beyond a season are for a reason. Therefore into our lives people come and people go. Those that stay obviously share more of you than you think. Those that are for a season can be influential in our lives or they can be a period of hardships.
We do not know what intrigues others to be close to us, but we can on the otherhand drive people away and not know why.
Here in BC we share a commonality, that is the bond that the majority of us have. I learned not to question the positive people in my life, just to accept them and learn from them.
Hope I was clear enough to explain how I see it.
Jill Micayla
May you have a wonderful today and a better tomorrow
Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.
Read Shakespeare
A rose by any other name, etc. We can see through you and you can't hide here,
Hugs,
Joanne