There was no Bike last night or a blog explaining why because the site refused to accept either for which I expect there is a reason beyond a sudden attack of good taste. I gave up at nearly 1.00am GMT having tried for 45 minutes to post my latest offering of scintillating charm and wit - only my modesty holds me back, I know, but we geniuses have great insight!

On a more serious note, I hate, despise and loathe computers and they know it. I'm on leave this week, or supposed to be, to do some decorating (another unenjoyable task) and had to go in for a meeting yesterday morning. During this, my computer - a personal lap top supplied by the NHS - malfunctioned and I couldn't do some of the things I intended or were required of me. If anyone from System One is reading this, please tell me how anyone other than Bill Gates can get away with selling such unadulterated crap for software.

Part 2600 of Bike is writted and will be posted this evening if the machines which control the internet allow it.