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Now the moment everyone has been waiting for -- the announcement of the top prize winners in the December 2006 Holiday Story Contest. And here to read the awards are Leonardo DiCaprio and Johnny Depp, in drag, as Tom Hanks from Bosom Buddies and Tim Curry from Rocky Horror Picture Show. |
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Admin Note: Originally published on BigCloset TopShelf on Thursday 01-02-2007 at 1:53 am, this retro classic was pulled out of the closet, and re-presented for our newer readers. ~Sephrena
CAUTION: There are some music files here that are quite large. Don't DL them unless you have broadband.
"I think we showed up in the wrong sort of drag, Joe."
"What makes you say that, Frank?"
"All those people out there, they were clapping as the curtain went up but now they're just sitting there staring at us--like they want to throw a net over us. It's enough to give me the blues."
"Those aren't people, Frank."
"Damnit, Joe? They're not more zombies, are they?"
"No, Frank. They're suspects."
"What are they suspected of?"
"Some of them are suspected of winning this contest."
"Oh, yeah."
"Have you got the envelopes, Frank?"
"Right here, Joe."
"You read the first one."
"Okay, Joe. This story got votes from more people than any other story in the contest--it had to win a prize or a bunch a people might have been disappointed. Plus, it's a darn good story."
The Prodigal by Scott Ramsey
"How was that?"
"That was good, Frank. Do another one while I watch the crowd for any suspicious behavior."
"Sure Joe. This next was a toughie because this author had two outstanding stories in the contest. Which one got a prize and which one got Honorable Mention was practically a toss-up. You want to guess which story it might be, Joe."
"Just read the card."
What are you doing, Joe?"
"Taking off my hat and glasses. It's hot out here. Read the card."
The Twelve Days of Christmas by Itinerant
"Now you do one, Joe."
"Yeah. Just hold my coat, Frank."
"Okay, here's the card."
"Thanks. The third third prize winner--third third?--is by a long time favorite of a large part of the readers here, a writer with her own loyal fandom."
Christmas Surprise by Angel O'Hare
"Good, Joe. That was good. Maybe we got a future in show business, huh? How often they hold these award shoes?"
"Shows, award shows."
"Right, Joe. I just said shoes, cause, uh, you just kicked yours off?"
"My feet are hot, Frank."
"Okay."
"It's the lights, they're really hot up here."
"Okay, Joe. You ain't gonna take anything else off, are you?"
"Just my socks. Read another card."
What's that music the band is playing?"
"Read a card."
"Sounds like--like stripper music, Joe?"
"Read a card, Frank."
"Okay, Joe. Socks, whew. Hey, that doesn't smell so bad. Kind of perfumey."
"Card."
"Right. Well, any of the last three stories could have taken first or second place, 'cause someone has to--but we've got kind of dark horse winner. An author whose first story posted won the second highest prize in the contest."
Epiphany by Geronwyl
"Ah, Joe! You're taking off your shirt and--what are you wearing under there? Something black?"
"It's the music, Frank. It's making me hot."
"Us working with those crossdressing zombies is what got to you, Joe. You've gone completely round the bend here."
"It's just a little bit of undergarment, Frank."
"It's a brassiere, Joe. I know what it is."
"You're right. Something I just picked out the other night."
"You'd better read the last card, Joe. So we can go home and I can get you to a doctor."
"Wait. Wait, Frank. It's the music again. The brassiere, I can tell you it don't mean a thing."
"I didn't know you could swing--uh, sing--especially not like that. You sounded like a broad, Joe."
"I need my hat back."
"Here you go, Joe."
"Thanks, Frank. I'll read the last winner, the big prize winner. This story was kind of a surprise for the judges, because at first, none of them had it in first place. But they kept talking and sending votes back and forth and they noticed--they all three rated this story very high."
The Nick of Time by Randalynn
"It's about gangsters, Joe. Uh, Joe? What happened to your pants?"
"Take me home, Frank. It's bedtime."
If you're curious about the other awards:
Right and Left Honorable Mentions plus Special Prizes
It's been lot's of fun folks! I'll be getting in touch with the winners this week to send Joe around with their prize money. :)
Hugs,
Erin
If you're curious about the music, it's by Swing Legacy out of Boston. You can visit their site and buy a CD if you like it. I think they're very good. :)
- Erin
Comments
Specal Horoable Comments ;)
Erin, "Special Horoable Mentions" Horrible mentions!!?!?!?? HOW Rude!! :D :D :D :D
Giggle
Huggles!!
Alexis
What?
Typos? We don't need no stinking typos.
- Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Darn, My Bribe Didn't Work
Congrads to Randalynn.
Her "Nick" was funny and reminded me a little of an old Paul Muni film where a gangsters soul/mind get put in an honest judges body by the Devil to cause trouble only the crook ain't so corrupt and eventually starts doing good.
Epiphany was a the story of an unselfish wish and another I liked.
Angel is Angel, charming yet mildly distrubing to some readers, but allways interesting.
I feel sory of Scott Ramsey and Itinerant. Both had multiple entries and I liked all of their entries -- honest even though Itinerant proofs/edits my stuff. Fortunately they did win for another in the various honorable catagories -- while I only won in the surf catagory. Only ONCE!? Damn them ... and it's awful surfing in Lake Michigan in January.
I would not want to be a judge, this was difficult.
John in Wauwatosa
P.S. Send my bribe back. I'll need it for Stardust.
John in Wauwatosa
LOL...John, GEEZE!
"Angel is Angel, charming yet mildly distrubing to some readers, but allways interesting."
Translation? What do you mean by that comment? Um, you can private message me if it's not all that positive. Giggle, giggle.
Um, thanks I think...giggle, giggle.
Be yourself, so easy to say, so hard to live.
"Be Your-Self, So Easy to Say, So Hard to Live!"
I meant no harm, put down that bag of diapers
I probably should have said your stories generate a lot of comments and sometimes trigger strong reponses from some of your readers. I've long loved your hero/heroines, they are such nice, sweet kids. What the adults and other kids do to them is sad sometimes but so is life.
That is a testiment to your story telling ability, Angel.
-- Um, am I off the hook yet. No no, not the ointment?! Ghod, Mr.Sinep has a sniper rifel!-
Giggles yourself. Congrads on winning one of the cash prises which you graciously returned.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
oh ... my ... GOD!
She approaches the podium to accept the award in a long turquoise gown and embarassing earrings, with a smile twelve parsecs wide.
Thanks so much, everyone! I never really thought I might actually win, because the contest brought out the best in everyone who entered, and there were so many terrific stories to choose from. I really can't believe it -- I'm still in shock!
Like Angel, I plan to donate my $75 prize to BigCloset TopShelf, for all of the pleasure it's given me since I found it -- and so I can get a look in the Hatbox. *grin*
Actually, I have a lot to be thankful for, when it comes to Erin and BigCloset TopShelf. She gave me access to works by talented authors I have come to love and respect. She brought me together with a community of really wonderful people. *smiles* And she gave me a place where I could spread my writing wings and do work I can be proud of.
Thanks again, everyone!
Randalynn
(And yes, that's me, dressed as a "diva" for a holiday party this past December. Believe me, I really didn't think I'd win, so I had to pull this gown -- or at least the picture of me in it -- out of the closet at the last minute. *grin*)
Congratulations Randalynn!
I do have this odd sense of sympathy for Al Gore all of a sudden though ...
Seriously, big huge congrats Randa! Congratulations to all the other winners as well. There were so many great stories entered, and I truly felt honored to have my own works listed with those of authors I respect so much.
I would like my prize to go to Big Closet as well. Randa said it all - Erin and BC have given me so much and I am happy to be able to give back.
Thank you to all the readers and everyone who commented and voted. Your encouragement is the real prize.
Scott
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of--but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.
Lazarus Long - Robert A. Heinlein's 'Time Enough for Love'
Bree
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
-- Tom Clancy
http://genomorph.tglibrary.com/ (Currently broken)
http://bree-ramsey314.livejournal.com/
Twitter: @genomorph
Conga-Rats!
I have no argument with the judges. Randalynn's story truly merits this award. I think we should all offer a hearty round of applause to those who had to decide how to rank these works.
I'm also going to join the donation line here. Erin, put the money to good use here at BC/TS.
Itinerant
Nicole (a.k.a. Itinerant)
--
Veni, Vidi, Velcro:
I came, I saw, I stuck around.
Congrats Mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mother (Randalynn) has a wonderfully talented mind with different ideas and a unique female viewpoint. Combine that with her excellent writing ability and she is just a super mom! I mean super author! I will always support and love her unconditionally. Though her life is very hectic, her attention divided between many tasks, and she is not always well, i have faith in her, and would do anything for her.
The money for the prize truly does not matter, for everyone here is talented. Even if she had not won, I support and love her the same. *big hugs*
Your daughter
Sephrena
hmmm? St. Randa?
I balked as long as I could before relenting and reading Randalynn's Christmas contest entry. I'm not really a holiday story kind of person. (not even of the Halloween variety! (grins!)
After I'd finished it, she asked me what I thought. I told her that i didn't need to read anymore of the stories that I'd already read the best one out there.
Her response? "Oh, which one was that?" I nearly fell off my chair laughing at her reply. Anyway, as it turns out, I was right! (an unusual but not totally rare occurrence.)
Anyway, congratulations Randalynn. The best "man" won!!! (*grins*)
Congratulations to all!
First, thanks to Erin for creating some holiday festivities to enjoy and second to everyone who participated and made it the typically "unusual" BC experience. Finally, congrates to this final group and especially Randalynn. If it is hard to suffer her good example as a writer imagine how I feel about that picture? What size is that dress dear, I have this date you see, oh it's not a 14? Oh well. :)
Gwen
Gwen Lavyril
Gwen Lavyril
Finally!
The winners revealed! Thanks Erin for hosting a lovely event. Considering the quality of all of the stories, Angel had it right when she said that being a judge for this contest wouldn't be fun. I really can't say that I've seen so many good stories come out in such a short time before. The contest is over,so let's get writing for Stardust! Yay!
Hugs!
grover
Thank Ghod I Didn't Win!
Congrads again to all.
Is good I didn't win, I'd never have fit in that gown.
If it's a requirement to be that atractive to win here, I'm gone -- I'm hopeless! Though I could pull off the Peter Boyle look, with or without neckbolts.
Is it my imagination or are those earings Star Trek Next Generation com-badge shaped? My inner geek has spoken.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
Not comm badges ...
... but elaborate enough to be Bajoran, I suppose. And HEAVY! *smile* They aren't coming out of the jewelry box again any time soon, I will tell you that.
*hugs*
Randalynn
Heavy Metal?
Like wow, dudette, heavy metal!
You should see the UHF loop antenas/boat anchors some of the gals I've worked with over the years have worn. Your bushleague by comparison.
They could be good in emergencies, like huracanes and tornadoes or put down over the rear axle of a pickup truck for extra traction, like sandbags. Road side reflectors for when you have a breakdown?
Okay, fair is fair. I don't need that because the reflection off my bald head has been known to confuse laser guidance systems. My dental work jams every radio station withing a ten mile radius when I eat sweet and sour.
-- A rimshot would be good here --
John in Wauwatosa, sucking his thumb and sulking
John in Wauwatosa
Hey, no problem
As soon as I get the Transformation-Transmutation Tachyeon RayGun (R) sorted out for the Stardust contest, we'll have you filling out your diva gown just fine for your first prize acceptance speech. ;-)
You can just tell me what size you want me to dial in.
(What was that Gwen? Size six?)
Geronwyl
_____________________________________________________________________
Some realities are limited by what we sense, others are defined by what we dream.
Transformation-Transmutation Tachyeon RayGun, TTT-Ray, and Triple-T Gun are registered trademarks of Taliescieu Enterprises.
Some realities are limited by what we sense, others are defined by what we dream.
Oh, my... This can't be real
No way.
What? It's not a typo?
Oh...
Um... wow. (Brain just turned to mush.)
(Oh no, now I'm turning red. Gotta get my brain back on-line.)
Thank you so much.
Randalynn, congratulations. Your story was wonderful and extraordinarily creative.
Looking at all of the amazing stories that were entered, I have a hard time believing Epiphany was worthy of second place. That said, I'm hardly qualified to second-guess the judges and readers. I have no idea how the judges managed to sort through such a crop of excellent stories. I hope their hard work is appreciated.
Erin, thank you so much for such a wonderful place, forum, and community. Thank you to everyone else also for the community that Big Closet has become.
Angel, thank-you-thank-you-thank-you for your encouragement and assistance. You made more of a difference than might imagine.
Angela, thank you for the gentle and helpful suggestions as well as your encouragement.
To all the other oh-so-talented authors here, thank you. Your stories have been consistently wonderful and provided me with a great deal of inspiration. My efforts were mainly in the hope that the result would be sufficient to stand next to the excellent works that I knew would be entered.
Erin, please accept the prize money as a donation to continue making Big Closet such a wonderful place.
With big teary hugs,
Geronwyl
_____________________________________________________________________
Some realities are limited by what we sense, others are defined by what we dream.
Some realities are limited by what we sense, others are defined by what we dream.
Thanks, Everyone
I want to thank everyone for their participation in the contest, whether as contestants, voters, judges, support or just readers. :)
Special thanks to the authors and winners for their contributions, to the two people who put up the prize money, and to Bob Arnold and Angela Rasch who kept my spirits up during a long and difficult process--especially this last week with making the change over to 99 Shoes. :)
And don't forget, the Stardust First Anniversary Story Contest begins February 1. I understand the Groundhog has an early entry, so don't get beat by a jumped-up gopher. :)
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Hey, I Have Caddyshack on VHS
Will the gopher be dancing in the holes on a golf corse?
As Groucho once sang.
Fa la la la la la, fa la la la la lay
May gaggles of groundhogs suround you all day
Fa la la la la la, fa la la la la lay
Fa la la happy Groundhogs Day.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
That's Go-Fear
Don't mean to 'badger' you, but what is commonly called a 'gopher' is really a thirteen striped ground squirrel.
http://encarta.msn.com/media_481500338_761552980_-1_1/Thirte...
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Here's the fellow I'm talking about
But we have true gophers here, too, pocket gophers. We have ground squirrels, also and marmots which look like gigantic gophers.
The suburban fellow in the picture above is not a native Californian, being a true whistlepig or hardhat, and probably worked in the tunnel construction business in Western Pennsylvania before retiring to Alta Loma to work on his belly tan.
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
A gopher by any other name
What we here in Florida commonly refer to as a gopher is the gopher tortoise. They aren't cute and fuzzy like the fellow in Erin's picture, but they do have hardhats.
Scott
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of--but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.
Lazarus Long - Robert A. Heinlein's 'Time Enough for Love'
Bree
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
-- Tom Clancy
http://genomorph.tglibrary.com/ (Currently broken)
http://bree-ramsey314.livejournal.com/
Twitter: @genomorph
Um, Erin, about ole' *Chuck* there on the stoop
I do believe that is a woodchuck.
Famouse for tearing up gardens and chucking wood.
In Wisconsin, as the woverines are long gone , the biggest weasel family member -- not counting laywers -- is likely the otter, with badgers right behind. The biggest rodents ar beavers. As to ground squirels we have only two native ones, the eastern chipmunk and the eleven-striped ground squirel. At least I think it's the eleven striped, maybe it is the thirteen?
Maybe for the next contest we can have prizes all based on rodents? Remember in MY state, the highest point in the state capitol is the top of the statue on top of our capitol dome. Ms Forward wears a badger in her head and its rear-end is the highest point of all. So all the members of our legisature and the Governor look up to a weasels ass.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
I Love Madison
There's a certain profound symmetry in politicians looking "up a weasel's ass."
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
I wonder, Angela.
The capitol was rebuilt after the 1904 fire, the third time(?) it burnt down.
This would have been during the peak years of *Fighting Bob* La Folette's political carrier.
You don't suppose? I mean somebody had to mention to the bronze foundry, "Um, did you realize the badgers ass is the highest part of the statute?" Then the capitol has an excellent collection of fossils in its halls, not all of them are politians. I'm not sure which party the ammonites and cephelopods are affiliated with. The trilobites are Republican as far as I know.
Then there is the state seal and flag with a sailor and a miner -- that is a sailor and someone who works in a mine. They are thinking of changing that. It's almost too late for industry, maybe a deer sick with that brain wasting disease and an Illinoisian in their 2.5 million dollar 3800 square foot lake *cottage*?
I read Darla's short story, has me down a bit.
A great contest.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
Dukw!
Or, you could take a dukw (not a typo and pronounce "duck") around the Dells and see the true meaning of conspicuous consumption. Thorstein Veblen must have seen the future. Veblen adds little to our border battle as he was born in WI, educated at Carleton College (Northfield,MN*), and did his most famous writing while working in Illinois at the University of Chicago.
Twenty years ago I took my family to the Dells for a vacation and had a great time. Since then the area has steadily been "improved" to the point I want no part of it.
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
*Twenty points if you know what else Northfield is famous for - besides inventing the um-ya-ya cheer at St.Olaf college.
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Let me see
*Twenty points if you know what else Northfield is famous for - besides inventing the um-ya-ya cheer at St.Olaf college.
It would have to be the 1876 Northfield, Minnesota Raid, the swan song for the James-Younger gang. The citizens of Northfield enaged the outlaws when word spread of the robbery, and in the ensuing shootout killed two and wounded several others. The gang was forced to flee without the money when the bank cashier refused to open the safe - at the cost of his own life. The gang split up after fleeing town and while Frank and Jesse James escaped, the Youngers were captured, bringing an end to one of the most notorious outlaw gangs in history.
Frank and Jesse went straight for a few years, but in 1880 returned to their outlaw ways. Of course that ended on April 3, 1882, when Jesse was shot and killed by Bob Ford.
Scott
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of--but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.
Lazarus Long - Robert A. Heinlein's 'Time Enough for Love'
Bree
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
-- Tom Clancy
http://genomorph.tglibrary.com/ (Currently broken)
http://bree-ramsey314.livejournal.com/
Twitter: @genomorph
It's hot here, Frank. I'll take my clothes off while you read
the cards.
"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."
Love & Hugs,
Barbara Lynn Terry
"If I have to be this girl in me, then I have the right to be."