“Luke!” Paul shouted up the stairs. “Come on, get out of bed, it’s nearly 10 o’clock and we’ve a lot to do today!”
“Yeah, alright,” Luke grunted in reply as he threw back his bed sheets and pulled on his dressing gown, only pausing to look at himself in the mirror before leaving his bedroom.
Covid had meant that the three months since the start of his second year of university had been mostly uneventful- there simply hadn't been any opportunity for anything spontaneous to happen. Lectures and seminars carried on as usual, albeit socially distanced, with those same social distancing rules meaning that lab time was also severely diminished. Meetings of the LGBT society had taken place exclusively over video chat, the student union bar remained closed and worst of all- for Luke- football training had become much more infrequent, and with no physical contact allowed they couldn't even have so much as a practise match against each other. Luke couldn’t even take comfort from the fact that this change had resulted in people leaving the society, resulting in Luke becoming a reserve for the university’s ‘A’ team- there was little point in being on a team that couldn’t play against anyone else, after all.
As he looked into the mirror, though, Luke smiled at how he had at least had a ‘win’- and a significant one at that- since the start of the new school year. While it had been delayed by covid, much like everything in 2020, Luke had allowed himself to feel optimistic- ecstatic, even- when he received the first injection of testosterone from his local GP. While the number of injections he’d received had been small, he felt himself growing stronger with each molecule of testosterone that entered his veins, more assured that he was becoming the man he was always destined to be. And with only a few days of 2020 remaining, he found himself actually looking forward to what 2021 would bring.
Before Luke could celebrate the new year, though, he had another ‘celebration’ to get through first- that of Christmas, which was less than 24 hours away. Even though it would be the first Christmas where his family knew about his true identity, which Luke saw as evidence that it would be better than all his previous Christmases, he still felt wary. New covid restrictions that had been introduced meant that the family were unable to entertain any guests throughout the holiday period, with one exception- Christmas Day itself. On Christmas Day, the family would be allowed to ‘bubble’ with other household, and despite his reassurances over summer, Luke knew that his father would want to celebrate the festive period with his parents. Luke was certain, though, that the elderly couple wouldn’t want to spend time with their grandchildren- at least not with them the way they were.
As her brother was taking care of his morning needs, Lucy was already awake and helping her mother finalise the house’s decorations for the big day. While she’d helped her mother in the past when she was very young, it was the first time in over a decade that Lucy had involved herself with the decorating, and the first time she had done so as her mother’s daughter. However, even though it had been nine months since the twins’ birthdays, Lucy still felt awkward whenever she was around her mother and could instantly tell that her mother felt the same way. And, just like her brother, she was anxious about the prospect of the ‘family reunion’ the following day- not least because unlike her brother, in the nine months since she came out, Lucy had not physically laid eyes on her grandparents or vice versa thanks to the restrictions that had been put in place. However, the following day, for one day only, the restrictions were going to be lifted, and with every decoration that she added to the living room, her anxiety levels rose higher and higher. She found herself longing to return to the relative safety and comfort of university life- even if restrictions had also meant that her dance society meetings had been curtailed, just like her brother's meetings with the football society.
“Where d’you want me to hang this?” Lucy asked her mother as she held up a decorative greetings card holder shaped like Santa's sleigh.
“Above the fireplace, same as always,” Sarah replied, her voice not betraying any emotion whatsoever.
“Umm, okay…” Lucy said. “It’s just that, like, we haven’t had as many cards as usual, probably ‘cause of covid, but-“
“Well- well it’ll be nice to have it up for tradition’s sake,” Sarah interrupted with a smile on her face that Lucy could immediately tell was forced. “Didn’t you get many cards from your uni friends before you came home for the holidays? I remember the primary school days when you and your si- umm, your twin would come home with armfuls of them…”
“Ah- not really, no,” Lucy mumbled in reply, choosing to overlook her mother’s barely avoided faux pas. “We, like, send e-cards now, ‘cause of, you know, covid, and the environment and stuff.”
“Do you- do you not have many people to send cards to?” Sarah asked quietly, not seeing the look of anger that briefly flashed across her daughter’s face.
“Actually, I’ve probably got more people to send cards to than I’ve ever had before,” Lucy replied, allowing herself a small smirk. “And you’ve heard me talking to my friends online a lot, especially Priya, Claudia and Phoebe.”
“Well, I- I’m glad you have so many friends, I really am,” Sarah said softly. “That’s not going to stop me from worrying about you, you know?”
“I know,” Lucy whispered, internally screaming with frustration as she prepared herself for the same talk she and her mother had had countless times before. “But honestly, I’m doing okay. We both are. We- we’re both doing much better than we were- well, like, before.”
“As long as you’re sure,” Sarah said, not noticing her daughter frown and bite her lip.
In the three months since she’d started HRT, Lucy had yet to notice any significant changes to her body. Her chest was still flat, her hips narrow, and her skin still felt coarse even when compared to her brother's. Where she had noticed a change, though, was in her mental state. Things that hadn’t affected her previously suddenly triggered intense emotions within her, and she often found herself openly weeping for no discernible reason. Logically, Lucy knew that these changes were to be expected, and her discussions with Dr Adams affirmed that the changes she was experiencing were evidence that the HRT was having the desired effect, but Lucy still felt frustrated. She had fantasised about being a woman for so long that the reality of the struggle she faced had come as a shock to her, even after a year of living openly as a woman. Lucy knew that there were no ‘miracle cures’ to resolve how she was feeling. However, if miracles were to happen, she reasoned that there was no better time of year for it than the festive season.
“I’m sure,” Lucy said, forcing a wide smile onto her face, which turned into a smirk as her brother slowly descended the stairs to the living room, dressed in his usual attire of a pair of loose jeans and his university hoodie. “Sure I could’ve used some help putting these decorations up…”
“Yeah, well, you’re still taller than me, so you’re the best choice for it anyway,” Luke replied with a smug grin, earning an eye roll from his sister. How is he coping so well when he was so messed up before his transition? Lucy thought to herself as she dusted the glitter from her hands and sat down next to her brother on the sofa.
“Oh, aye, you two just take the weight off why don’t ya?” Paul said with a derisive snort of laughter as he entered the living room.
“Literally only just got up,” Luke retorted. “Not even had breakfast yet.”
“Well, eat up quick, ‘cause we’ve got tons to do for tomorrow!” Paul said, smirking as his children both rolled their eyes. “Oh, come on. I get that this Christmas ain’t gonna be like any other that you’ve- hell, it’s not like any Christmas I’VE experienced before, heh. But I’d have thought that you two would be looking forward to it a bit more, like, because you’ll- well, you know…”
“We’ll actually be ourselves for the first Christmas ever?” Luke asked, smiling tiredly as his father nodded. “I guess I maybe am, maybe a little…”
“Well, at the very least, this year ya you know ya won’t be getting a new dress!” Paul chuckled in a desperate attempt to lighten the mood.
“Don’t suppose you’ll tell me if I AM?” Lucy asked, biting her lip as her father chuckled nervously.
“Well- well you’ll see in less than 24 hours ‘ time,” Paul replied. “Assuming you don’t sleep until noon tomorrow as well!”
“Hey!” Lucy mumbled in protest. “I was up at 8 o’clock today helping with decorations…”
“Aye,” Paul chuckled. “It was ya brother I was talking to!”
“Hilarious,” Luke snorted as his mother passed him a bowl of porridge. “What d’you need my help with, anyway?”
“Got ta get more chairs out of the shed,” Paul replied. “You know the drill by now, they’re kinda buried at the back, under a load of junk, so maybe wear a pair of jeans that's already in the wash so ya don't get that pair dirty.”
“Okay,” Luke said with a shrug, before frowning. “…Why do we need extra chairs when we’re not allowed to have anyone over? I thought we were, like, eating Christmas dinner on our laps this year?”
“Because Christmas is a time for family,” Paul replied, biting his lip nervously as he saw anxious looks spread across his children’s faces. “And it’s also a time, like, for forgiveness, for letting bygones be bygones, that sort of thing.”
“I really, REALLY hope you’re not suggesting that we need to be ‘forgiven’ for being who we are,” Luke said, his mood instantly darkening.
“Well- no, of course not,” Paul replied. “But, like-“
“If anything, THEY should be asking for OUR forgiveness,” Lucy grumbled.
“…You’re gonna need to accept that there are some parts of the world who just aren’t ready for the two of yas yet,” Paul said, sighing as he sat down opposite his children. “Ya grandparents are just, like, lagging a bit behind, that’s all. But they’ve had months to think about it- months where they’ve been isolated by themselves so haven’t had anything to do BUT think about it. And it IS Christmas, so- yeah. Summer was- summer was just a shock to them, that’s all. They’ll be more open to the two of ya now, I guarantee it.”
“Do you- do you REALLY believe that?” Lucy asked.
“I do,” Paul replied as he fidgeted in his seat. “I also believe that when the two of ya were born nearly twenty years ago, your grandparents were as over the moon as new grandparents can get. Heh, hard to believe it’s nearly twenty years. So much has changed since 2001, even when you don’t include covid.”
“Even when you don’t include the two of us as well?” Luke asked, frowning as his father paused.
“…Aye, including that, too,” Paul said. “Even as recently as twenty years ago, I doubt society as a whole would’ve been- well, ready for the two of you.”
“Legally, too,” Lucy mused. “The gender recognition act was only passed in 2004, the equality act was only passed in 2010 so- yeah. As hard as it’s been, it could’ve been a LOT harder.”
“Well, as long as ya both know that me and ya mam will ALWAYS support the two of you,” Paul said. “Not to mention all the friends you’ve made at university! It’s the two of you’s luck that you’d both be stuck indoors when you’ve just turned eighteen and you’ve got friends nearby that you can hang around with.”
“Yep,” Luke sighed. “If we weren’t in tier 3, we’d probably have found a way to hang out with Susie and Gav today, but, well, doesn’t look like that’s happening until we get back to uni.”
“Assuming they don’t tell us all to start learning remotely, anyway,” Lucy sighed.
“And on the subject of ‘remotely’,” Paul said, “I’ve got to log in to work at 11:30, so we need ta get these chairs shifted!”
“Yes, yes, okay,” Luke sighed, finishing his breakfast before heading back up the stairs to change into the 'unclean' clothes recommended by his father.
As her brother was getting changed and her father was unlocking his shed, Lucy allowed herself the chance to relax in front of the television while also idly scrolling through notifications on her phone. Lucy sighed sadly as she opened Facebook messenger, only to discover that there had been no new messages in her group chats since the previous evening. Lucy reasoned that all of her other friends were too busy with their families over the festive period, but it still brought home to her that despite her parents’ insistence, she didn’t have that many friends that she could rely on. Aside from Susie and Gavin, who lived locally, Lucy considered her close friends to only include Priya, Claudia and Phoebe, none of whom lived within 200 miles of Newcastle- and the latter girl didn’t even normally live in the same hemisphere as her.
With a sigh, Lucy jumped off the sofa and headed through to the kitchen, smiling as she discovered her mother hard at work preparing food for the following day.
“Hi mam,” Lucy said softly. “D’you need a hand in here with anything?”
“No, I’m almost done,” Sarah replied as she slid the baking tray into the oven. Okay then, Lucy thought to herself as she fidgeted awkwardly.
“Are we-“ Lucy said, before hesitating. “Umm, are me and Luke gonna call Grandpa Dave and Nanna Julie later?”
“Umm, if you want to,” Sarah replied. “As long as you do talk to them at some point over the Christmas holidays, that’ll be fine.”
“Okay,” Lucy whispered, biting her lip in frustration. “Mam, are- are you okay?”
“HMM?” Sarah replied. “Oh- aye, I’m fine, just got a lot to do for tomorrow, heh. Even if you and your- your brother aren’t, well, kids anymore…” ‘Kids’, Lucy thought to herself.
“O- okay,” Lucy whispered, barely stifling a sigh.
For all of Lucy’s life, she’d wanted her mother to acknowledge her as her daughter. She’d imagined what it’d be like to be able to bond as mother and daughter- what it would be like to have her mother teach her to bake, or to have their hair done together, or even to sit down and talk candidly with each other. However, when the reality finally arrived, she found that her mother was distant- almost like her new daughter was a stranger to her. Lucy reasoned that the change was a large adjustment for her mother and that it’d take time- however, over nine months had passed since the twins came out, yet her mother was still as distant to her as she was at the start. And yet, every time Lucy asked what was wrong, she received the same non-committal answer as always. Lucy was forced to admit to herself, though, that she knew- or at the very least, strongly suspected what the real problem was…
As Lucy was sitting back down in the living room, hoping to distract herself with Christmas television, Luke had changed his clothes, pulled on a pair of gloves and made his way into the back garden, where his father was busy clearing things out of his shed.
“How much crap do you have in here?” Luke asked with a chuckle, which loudened when his father regarded him with an angry glare.
“Watch your mouth,” Paul jokingly cautioned. “Never insult a man’s mother, his football team or his shed.”
“Are these- are these mine and Lucy’s old schoolbooks?” Luke asked as Paul handed him a heavy box full of exercise books. “What do you need these for?”
“Whenever we need a trip down memory lane,” Paul replied with a chuckle. “And you never know, you might feel nostalgic one day, too. We’ve still got all of your old school photos, too- ehh, though I get you might not be as nostalgic to look at THOSE.”
“Given that in most of them, I’m wearing a grey pinafore and have my hair in pigtails, not really,” Luke snorted, smiling as his father nodded sympathetically.
“Do you- do you really have no pleasant memories of childhood?” Paul asked. “Like, not even past Christmases?”
“…Maybe a few,” Luke conceded. “Maybe I’m just, like, looking through rose-tinted glasses or something, but- I guess my childhood wasn’t THAT bad. Heh, dunno if I’d be saying that if you still saw me as ‘Lucy’, though.”
“I get that,” Paul said as he handed his son another box, one full of old toys.
“Ah- now THESE you can get rid of,” Luke snorted as he opened the box to reveal a pile of old dolls and their clothes- dolls he’d been given as presents in Christmases past but had barely, if ever, played with. “Absolutely zero nostalgia here.”
“Well- aye, true, I guess,” Paul sighed. “When charity shops start to reopen, I’ll see if they’re interested, though I suppose you could always put them on eBay if you wanted?”
“Why me?” Luke asked as he examined the old toys.
“They’re still your possessions,” Paul replied with a shrug. “You’re the one racking up all that student debt, might as well put the dolls to some good use, right?”
“Well- I guess,” Luke sighed. “Though I’d feel kinda, like, wrong if I didn’t split the money evenly with Lucy, like.”
“It’s your choice,” Paul said, before smiling and chuckling proudly. “Though it does make me, you know, happy that the two of you are still so close even after making all your new uni friends.”
“What we do, we do together,” Luke retorted. “Always. That’s, like, something me and Lucy say to each other, and it’s a promise we both take VERY seriously.”
“Glad to hear it,” Paul said softly as he began passing his son chairs from the middle of his shed.
A short while later, the two men returned to the house with the folding wooden seats, smiling as they saw Lucy still curled up on the sofa with a mug of tea, the remote control and a tub of Quality Street.
“…In fairness, ya did do a good job with the decorations,” Paul chuckled, earning a tired smile from his daughter. “Anything good on TV?”
“Just the usual stuff,” Lucy replied. “I take it we’re all watching The Snowman later, as usual?”
“Aye, not even covid can keep that off the TV, heh,” Paul replied with a sad smile. “I remember seeing it when it was first on TV- heh, almost forty years ago now. Bawled my eyes out at the ending, which- heh. Ya granddad did NOT approve of that, heh…”
“Yeah…” Lucy said, fidgeting awkwardly as her father got a faraway look on his face. “Umm, anyway, it- it’ll be nice to, like, be allowed to cry at it this year.”
“I hope that doesn’t mean that I’m not,” Luke said with a chuckle as he and his father stacked the chairs in the hallway.
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the last year,” Paul said, “it’s that it’s pointless to try to keep the two of yas from doing what ya want to do! Heh, and on the subject of TV, is there a Christmas special of Pointless on today at all?”
“Umm… might be, I’d need to check the Radio Times,” Lucy replied.
“I always thought you two should apply to go on that,” Paul mused, chuckling as his children simultaneously rolled their eyes. “I’m serious! You’re both easily smart enough to. And as I was just saying to Luke, you’re both going to have a mountain of student debt once you’ve graduated.”
“Aye, but I can just picture the Twitter comments now,” Lucy snorted.
“Who cares about a bunch of anonymous keyboard wankers?” Paul retorted. “I’m certain they’ve had trans contestants on there before.”
“Well- we’ll think about it,” Luke said, hoping to pacify his father and get him to drop the subject. “I’m just going to see if mam needs a hand.”
“Okay,” Paul said as his son headed toward the kitchen.
“Hey mam,” Luke said as he looked over the food that was being prepared for the following day. “Need a hand with anything?”
“Umm, nope, I’ve got everything in hand here,” Sarah replied bluntly. O-kay, Luke thought to himself.
“Are you- are you making the Christmas gingerbread men this year?” Luke asked.
“Ah- no, I’m not,” Sarah replied. “I thought that, maybe, you two are- are getting a bit old for them, that’s all.”
“Well- okay,” Luke said, not disguising his disappointment. “Can- can I have a go at it if you don’t want to?”
“Are- are you sure?” Sarah asked. “Is it something that you’d- well, you’d want to do? Normally, I mean?”
“Sure, don’t see why not,” Luke said with a shrug as he tried not to grimace at his mother's reluctance. “…If you mean ‘is baking a thing a boy would want to do’, well, most of the guys at uni watched Bake Off this year- admittedly, there wasn’t much else to do on Tuesday evenings, but- yeah.”
“If you say so,” Sarah said with a shrug. “It’s just- when you were younger, making the gingerbread men was always something we used to do together, as mother and daughter.”
“…Why does that mean we can’t do it together now, as mother and son?” Luke asked, smiling sympathetically as his mother remained silent, contemplating her response.
“It’s- it’s kinda hard to know what I should do,” Sarah eventually replied. “For both of you. I feel like I’m treading on eggshells all the time, like- imagine that you wake up one morning and suddenly your children are completely different people to who you thought they were.” Luke bit his lip as he could see his mother struggling to control her emotions.
“…But we’re not children, not anymore,” Luke retorted. “We’re adults, and if you want, like, advice, or to know what we think or feel, you can always just ask us. As for your preconceptions… I can’t help you there. Only that you spent the last two Christmases trying to force me to be someone I’m clearly not. Now that you’ve finally accepted me for who I am, why not let me lead the way for once?”
“Because I’m your mam,” Sarah replied. “And I’m always gonna worry about you. Both of you. You know, it’s not impossible that you might be a mo- umm, a parent one day yourself.”
“Well- maybe,” Luke shrugged, consciously ignoring his mother’s near slip. “It’s not exactly high on my priority list.”
“Well- no, I accept that it wouldn’t be,” Sarah said, before chuckling. “And I’m no rush to be a grandma, before you say anything!”
“Wasn’t going to,” Luke said, sharing a quiet chuckle with his mother. “But when you think about it, though… were we- were we every really that close as mother and daughter, though?”
“I used to think we were,” Sarah replied, before sighing sadly. “Then again, I also used to think that you were a girl. It’s kinda hard to admit that you’re so wrong about something you were so certain about.”
“Aye, I can believe that,” Luke said softly. “But I’m happy to, like, put that behind me if you are.”
“So am I,” Sarah whispered, before smiling. “Go on, get the baking stuff out of the cupboard.” Sarah and her son shared a grin as they began mixing the dough together.
A short while later, Luke followed his mother into the living room, carrying a tray of the sweet treats, which immediately brought a smile to his father’s face.
“I thought I smelled those!” Paul said excitedly as he reached for the biscuit on the top of the tray, only for Luke to suddenly pull the tray away from him.
“Ah- the top two are reserved for me and Lucy,” Luke said, taking the two larger, elaborately decorated biscuits from the top of the pile and allowing his father to help himself to the rest.
“What’s this?” Lucy asked, looking up from her phone to find a gingerbread man- or rather, as she could immediately tell from the shape of the biscuit, a gingerbread woman- thrust in her face by her brother.
“I thought I’d make a couple of extra special ones, just for us,” Luke replied as he showed Lucy his own gingerbread ‘man’, which, like Lucy’s biscuit, was decorated with blue, pink and white icing in the design of the transgender pride flag.
“Ah, cool!” Lucy giggled, before smiling as Luke took a selfie of the two of them with their biscuits. “Wait, were you- were you baking with mum?”
“Yeah,” Luke replied. “I know, I know, I’ve whined about having to do it in the past, but- yeah. I hated it when I HAD to do it, but, like, CHOOSING to do it, it- it was pretty fun, you know?”
“Mm,” Lucy mumbled as she took a bite of her biscuit, while inside, she felt her stomach sink.
As a child, Lucy had always wished that she’d been allowed to join in with her then-sister and mother when they prepared the baked treats for Christmas, or for birthdays or other special occasions. Growing up, she’d hear Luke complain about how he was being forced to take part in activities he hated, but she’d love to do, and when they came out, Lucy had hoped it would help her grow closer to their mother. However, over the preceding nine months, Lucy and her mother had grown no closer than before she came out- and seeing her brother and their mother bonding so well even after they’d come out only served to rub salt into the wound for Lucy.
“Ah- Facebook comment incoming,” Luke said with a grin as he checked his phone. “Heh, it’s from Laura Ruddock of all people, says ‘OMG so jealous of those gingerbread people’, heh.” She’s not the only one, Lucy ruefully thought to herself.
“Who’s this Laura Ruddock then?” Paul asked with a playful chuckle. “I thought you both said you were single right now?”
“She- she’s a friend of a friend,” Luke replied. “Lives in London, went to school with our friend Priya. She- she’s also transgender, so, like, has been, like, advising, sort of thing.”
“Ah, so kinda like a support network, then?” Paul said.
“Aye,” Lucy replied with a shrug. “But, like, online only, as she lives in London.”
“Tch, what ISN’T online nowadays, thanks to covid?” Paul snorted. “But it’s good that the two of you do have this help to fall back on if you need it. As well as friends like Susie and Gavin up here, I mean.”
“Yep,” Luke said with a grin, as Lucy forced herself to smile, remembering that while they certainly had more friends than when they were children, they didn't have THAT many- certainly not when compared to Priya's 'other gang' in London.
“It would’ve been nice to actually hang out with them more, but- yeah, not much we can do about that, really,” Lucy mumbled. “We haven’t so much as met Laura face to face yet, or any of Priya’s other friends from London, so- yeah.”
“Well, covid won’t last forever,” Paul said with a shrug. “Especially not now we’re getting a vaccine for it. Heh, and speaking of which, after ya graduate yas’ll probably both be looking for jobs in London, heh. Just as long as ya both remember where home REALLY is.”
“…It’s not like there aren’t research firms in Newcastle,” Luke said, earning smiles from both of his parents as they enjoyed the baked treats.
As day quickly turned into twilight, followed shortly afterward by night, the family settled down in front of the television, all shedding a tear as they watched Raymond Briggs’s Christmas classic ‘The Snowman’ just as they’d done for every year of the twins’ lives. After a quick dinner, the twins headed up the stairs to Luke’s room, where they logged into Zoom, ready for the call to their grandparents in Spain.
“You okay?” Luke asked his sister softly as he set up his laptop.
“Hmm?” Lucy replied. “Umm, yeah, fine, why d’you ask?”
“You just seem a bit, you know, quiet, that’s all,” Luke mused. “Like, this is our first Christmas as our proper selves, and- well, I- I just thought you’d be a bit more excited, that’s all.”
“Meh, I guess I- I guess I’m just nervous, you know,” Lucy said. “Like, anxious about tomorrow, sort of thing. With what’s gonna happen, and all that, you know?”
“Yeah, I get it,” Luke said, smiling as he gave his sister’s hand a gentle squeeze. “So… how’d you like the gingerbread ma- well, gingerbread girl? Reckon I can make the Bake Off next year, or maybe 2022?”
“…Best make it 2023, we’re probably gonna be busy with finals in 2022!” Lucy replied, sharing her brother’s chuckle.
“Aye, true,” Luke said. “Assuming we don’t also stay on to do a Master’s.”
“Have- have you been thinking about doing that?” Lucy asked.
“A little,” Luke shrugged. “Gonna wait to see what grade I get at the end of this year, though. And, of course, I’m only gonna do one if we BOTH do. What we do, we do together, right?”
“Always,” Lucy replied. Well, most of the time, she thought to herself, forcing herself to maintain her smile as Luke placed the call. Moments later, the faces of the twins’ maternal grandparents appeared on screen, Lucy noticing that the wide smiles they wore quickly faded as the twins came into view.
“H- hi, you two,” the twins’ grandmother said in an uneasy voice.
“Hi Nanna Julie, hi Grandpa Dave,” the twins replied, keeping the smiles on their own faces even as they fidgeted at their grandparents’ reaction.
“Umm… merry Christmas!” Luke said, before biting his lip anxiously.
“Merry Christmas!” Julie replied, before sighing and smiling sympathetically. “I- I’m sorry, it’s just-“ You think we’re disgusting? Lucy ruefully thought to herself.
“No- no, it’s not that,” Dave said. “Your mam told us about your change, showed us photos and, well, prepared us for what to expect, it’s just- it’s just a bit of a surprise to actually see you- well, not in the flesh, but over camera in the flesh, if you get what we mean.”
“Yeah,” Lucy whispered as she felt her tension levels start to subside.
“But you both look very well,” Julie said, a proud smile slowly spreading across her face. “Your mam wasn’t lying when she said that this change has made the two of you happier than you were before.”
“MUCH happier,” Luke said with a smile.
“Totally,” Lucy concurred. “It’s like, we’ve been obsessed with making this change for so long that now we’ve made it, it’s, like, not weighing us down anymore, our minds, like.”
“I can see that,” Dave chuckled. “Very clearly, in fact. The two of you have this ‘glow’ about you that you didn’t before, if you get what I mean? It’s like you’re finally coming out of your shell, and not a moment too soon!”
“Though I imagine being at university is playing a part there,” Julie teased, making the twins grin bashfully. “Are you enjoying your second year?”
“Well, as much as we can,” Luke replied. “We’re still not allowed actually IN the Student Union bar, and at this time of year, the terrace isn’t really an option, heh.”
“Which got us some teasing from our southern friends,” Lucy interjected. “People going ‘aren’t Geordies supposed to be immune to the cold’ and all that.”
“I assume you didn’t tell them your grandparents moved to Spain specifically to get away from the cold?” Dave laughed.
“…It didn’t come up,” Luke chuckled.
“Though there’s no escaping from covid at the moment,” Julie sighed. “Here, there or anywhere. Are you locked down in Newcastle yet?”
“Err… sort of,” Lucy replied. “We’re in tier 3, so we can ‘bubble’ with relatives on Christmas Day, but we’re effectively locked down other than that.”
“Sometimes it’s hard to keep track of what we can and can’t do,” Luke said. “At home and at uni, I mean, I can train with the football team, but only, like, ball skills, and we’re not playing any actual matches either.”
“And no boyfriends or girlfriends either, then?” Dave teased, chuckling as his grandchildren both blushed.
“That’s- that’s not really a priority right now,” Lucy hastily replied.
“For either of us, really,” Luke said. “For one thing, the uni’s LGBT society’s been just as affected by lockdowns as everything else, so- yeah. Just our luck that we’d finally get away to uni only for the entire world to shut down, heh.”
“But you are at least enjoying it, I hope?” Julie asked.
“Totally,” Lucy replied with a smile.
“And it definitely helps that we’re both on the same course,” Luke said.
“Really?” Dave teased. “You’re not sick of each other after nearly twenty years, then?” The twins both smirked as they gazed at each other, before returning their attention to the camera.
“…Nah,” Luke and Lucy said simultaneously.
“What we do, we do together,” Luke said with confidence.
“Always,” Lucy concurred, finally fully relaxing as she and Luke spent the next hour entertaining their grandparents with tales of university life.
Later that evening, after whiling away their time watching television with their parents, the twins returned to Luke’s bedroom, where his laptop was still set up, and logged back in to Zoom for a call- however, both Luke and Lucy were much more enthusiastic about the call than their chat with their grandparents- because of who they'd be calling.
‘Hey you two!’ Kieran said with an excited giggle as he appeared on the twins’ screen, along with Gavin, Susie and Claudia.
“Hey, guys and girls!” Luke replied. “Is it just us tonight, then?”
“Priya’s in a call with her London friends,” Claudia replies. “As they’re in tier 4, so she can’t actually SEE any of them this Christmas- well, not face to face, anyway. Same with Phoebe, as she obviously can't fly back to America.”
“So you’re stuck with us, I’m afraid,” Gavin said, smirking as the twins chuckled.
“Trust me, we’re really not ‘stuck’,” Luke retorted. “If we were able to, we’d honestly be spending as much time with you guys as possible.”
“Ugh, I know that feeling,” Kieran sighed. “Just my luck that I turn eighteen just in time for covid to shut down Canal Street, right?”
“I’ve ALWAYS wanted to go on a night out there,” Gavin sighed sadly.
“And you will,” Kieran said. “The second things back to normal, we will.”
“Any chance we can visit Coronation Street while we’re there, too?” Claudia asked, smirking as she earned playful jeers from her friends.
“There’s more to Manchester than just two streets, you know,” Kieran scoffed.
“Aye,” Susie giggled. “Also, two football clubs that keep hogging all the trophies!”
“Really?” Lucy asked with a snort of laughter. “Talking about football, today of all days?”
“Christmas Eve and Boxing Day matches are traditional,” Gavin retorted with a shrug. “Just ‘cause we can’t actually go to SEE any of them…”
“Well, next time the Toon play on Boxing Day, AND fans are allowed in the ground, how about we go?” Luke asked. “Us four Geordies, anyway. Southerners can also come, assuming you don’t instantly freeze when you get off the train, anyway.”
“I was about to say, Newcastle in the middle of December…” Claudia teased, smirking and blushing as the four north easterners playfully jeered her.
“The weather might be shite, but the company’s awesome,” Susie said with a grin. “Are you all spending tomorrow with your families, then?”
“Yep,” Claudia replied.
“Same,” Kieran sighed. “Assuming I can put up with my brothers, anyway.”
“Are they being a pain?” Susie asked softly.
“Ugh, a- a little,” Kieran replied with a dramatic shrug that instantly brought smiles to both of the twins' faces.
“Is that shade on your nails part of why?” Lucy teased, smirking as her friend giggled while showing off the glittery purple polish on his fingernails.
“…Maybe,” Kieran replied with a blushing grin. “Well, I figured, why not embrace my queerness? Like, why should girls have all the fun?”
“I can’t argue,” Luke replied, “but I’ll leave all that ‘fun’ to you if you don’t mind, heh. Spent long enough trying to have less ‘fun’ if you get what I mean.”
“I do, and I agree completely,” Kieran said. “Not least because it leaves more ‘fun’ for the rest of us, hehe!”
“Speaking of which,” Luke said, “have you heard from Anthony at all over the holidays?”
“Who?” Gavin asked, before nodding as he remembered. “Oh, right, Mando.”
“Who?” Claudia asked, confusion written across her face.
“He’s in the LGBT society, a year below us,” Luke replied. “Another, like, trans guy. Big into Star Wars, wore a ‘This is the Way’ t-shirt on his first day so the nickname kinda stuck- mainly ‘cause Anthony himself encouraged it, heh.”
“And to answer the question, not really,” Gavin said. “I’d have thought he’d spend more of his time chatting with you than with anyone else- no offence, like, but because-“
“-Because trans guys have to help each other out, I get it,” Luke interrupted with a sympathetic smile. “I’ll shoot him a message later tonight, just wish him a Merry Christmas, like. I think he’s on good terms with his family, so- yeah.”
“And speaking of,” Susie said, “how are you two doing, like, when it comes to tomorrow?”
“…Nervous, I won’t lie,” Lucy sighed.
“But, like, mam and dad are on our side,” Luke said. “There’s nothing anyone can do or say that’ll stop us from being us or being back at uni come the new year. And do NOT mention Boris bloody Johnson saying ‘stay at home’ again!”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Susie said with a smug grin that earned a giggle and eye rolls from the twins.
“I do, you know, worry a bit,” Lucy mumbled. “That, like, every Christmas will be like this. I don’t want to be known as the one who ruined Christmas for the family…”
“And you WON’T,” Luke insisted. “Remember what Livvy told us a few weeks ago: there’s nothing less reasonable than expecting us to stop existing just because it’d make some bigoted arsehole’s life somehow easier.”
“In fairness, she didn’t put it EXACTLY like that,” Kieran chuckled. “But she did have a point. Anybody who thinks that I’ve somehow ‘harmed’ them by doing this-“ the people on the call all grinned as Kieran held up his manicure again- “needs to stop being such a whiny little bitch. Even if they’re family. No- ESPECIALLY if they’re family.”
“And especially if they’re the type of people who yell ‘snowflake’ at anyone else for showing just a tiny bit of empathy,” Gavin snorted. “Like being a cold-hearted bastard is somehow better.”
“I suppose it’s, like, a self-reliance thing, maybe?” Claudia mused. “Like, this idea that people should be able to cope independently, overcome adversity or something.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve had symptoms from my MS kicking my arse for the last ten years, so I know all about having to ‘overcome adversity’,” Gavin snorted, before frowning. “Ugh, sorry Claudia, I didn’t mean to take it out on you, just- yeah. You’d be pissed off too if you’ve had as many people as I have telling you ‘It can’t be that bad, just man up’ or shit like that. Like they’d be some kind of superman if they were disabled or something.”
“It’s kinda the same when it comes to gender dysphoria,” Luke said. “Not that I’m saying it’s a disability as such, but there were days before I started transitioning when it was VERY, like, disabling. And we get the same kinds of morons too, like, ‘can’t you present as a woman but still feel like a man on the inside’ or ‘is it really that bad being a girl?’. Well- yes, yes it is. For me. That’s the point.”
“Empathy,” Claudia said with an understanding nod. “Ugh- sorry if I’ve brought everyone’s Christmas Eve down, heh.”
“Well, we just watched ‘The Snowman’ for the twentieth time a while back, so we were kinda ‘down’ anyway,” Lucy said, earning a chuckle from her friends.
“Yeah, that’ll do it,” Kieran sighed. “I think I first watched that when I was six, and I remember bawling my eyes out at the end. And then my older brother being on my back about it all Christmas.”
“Luckily, I know that my sibling will always have my back,” Luke said with a grin as he gave Lucy a gentle hug.
The call lasted for another two hours, before the twins decided to log off, both knowing that they would need all the energy they could spare for the following day. As she laid in bed later that night, Lucy found herself unable to sleep, and while this wasn't out of the ordinary for Christmas Eve, for the first time since she was a child, she found herself feeling excited about the following day. For the first time ever, she KNEW she’d be opening the presents she wanted to open- no shaving kits, no football boots, no aftershave or anything stereotypically masculine. However, as Lucy wondered what kind of gifts she would be opening, it suddenly dawned on her that the previous chapter of her life was over and wouldn't be coming back. It was a feeling that was becoming more and more frequent as she transitioned- that with every day that passed, she was venturing further and further into the unknown, and she grew more and more scared about what she might find as her journey progressed.
Nonetheless, Lucy was asleep when her alarm went off at 7am the following morning, and after stretching her tired muscles, she slid out of bed, wrapped her body in her warm purple dressing gown and padded across the landing, smiling when she saw her parents’ bedroom door open but her brother’s door still shut.
“Luke?” Lucy asked as she playfully knocked on the door, before taking a deep breath and singing. “Do you wanna build a snowman?”
“Yes, yes, I’m up,” Luke replied with a tired snort of laughter. “Just gimme a sec, I’ll be down in a minute, okay?”
“Okay,” Lucy said, smirking as she headed down the stairs, before gasping as she entered the living room.
Laid out in front of Lucy was a scene that was instantly familiar to her from all of her previous festive seasons- a Christmas tree in one corner of the room, decorated with all the ornaments that she and Luke had made throughout their time at primary school. Numerous Christmas cards of all shapes, sizes and colours were blu-tacked to the wall and a seasonal cartoon was playing on the television. What attracted Lucy’s attention the most, though, were the two piles of presents on the large sofa where they usually sat- one pile wrapped in blue wrapping paper, and one in pink. Lucy’s heart almost skipped a beat when she realised that for the first time ever, the pink-coloured gifts were meant for her, and not her brother.
“Merry Christmas, Lucy!” Paul said with a wide grin as he emerged from the kitchen, giving his daughter a tight, loving hug as she continued to take in the sight.
“Merry Christmas!” Lucy squeaked excitedly. “You- you’ve gone to a LOT of trouble this year, then!”
“Well, aye!” Paul chuckled. “You’d almost think we were your parents or something, heh. Is Luke not up yet?”
“He’s awake, I just talked to him,” Lucy replied. “He should be down in a bit. And yes, I’ll wait for him, heh.”
“Never said you wouldn’t,” Paul chuckled. “Some Christmas traditions will always be the same, at least.” Lucy bit her lip as she felt her father's words sting, but she chose to remain silent- after all, past traditions or not, her parents HAD accepted her as their daughter, and she was about to open ‘Lucy’s’ Christmas presents for the first time ever- something that would’ve been unimaginable to her twelve months earlier. However, the more she pondered this, the more she realised that it wasn’t an unreasonable thing to expect from her parents.
Lucy’s thoughts were interrupted a few moments later when her brother walked down the stairs clad in his own warm dressing gown and clutching a small, carefully wrapped package that he placed by the side of Lucy’s piled, earning a quizzical look from the young woman.
“Open that one last,” Luke instructed his sister, before grinning and giving her a tight hug. “And Merry Christmas!”
“Merry Christmas!” Lucy giggled as she returned the hug. “So… NOW can we open the presents?”
“…Go on, then,” Paul replied with a tired chuckle, grinning as the twins eagerly started to tear into their gifts. “This is the most excited I’ve seen you be about your presents in ages, heh. …And in hindsight, I guess it’s easy to see why. But the important thing, the absolute most important thing is that the two of yas are happy. And on that note, don’t be afraid to tell me or your mam if ya don’t like any of the presents- we won’t be offended, we’ll just chalk it up as a learning experience and try a bit harder for your birthday.”
“Absolutely,” Sarah concurred as she emerged from the kitchen with warm mugs of tea for both of the twins. “Though we did put a lot of thought- a LOT of thought- into what we should get the two of you this year, so hopefully we got most of it right.”
As it turned out, though, the twins’ parents had got all of their presents right. Luke was ecstatic as he unwrapped a pair of brand-new Puma football boots and shin guards, as well as men’s deodorant sets, two new smart shirts, a pair of black trousers and a new pair of smart black men’s shoes. What excited Luke the most, though, was the shaving kit and designer aftershave that he unwrapped last.
“I realise you’ve not got any need for that yet,” Paul said, “but from what you’ve told me, ya will soon, so I figured it’s best to get that ready in advance rather than be caught out, if ya get what I mean.”
“I do, thanks,” Luke said, a genuine grateful smile spreading across his face. “Heh, looks like we both got shaving kits this Christmas then!”
“Yep!” Lucy giggled as she held up her brand-new women’s leg razor while Luke took a photo of them both with their gifts, which was almost instantly uploaded to Facebook. However, while Luke was clearly excited about his new present, Lucy found herself feeling more self-conscious than ever.
As she’d opened her presents, Lucy had initially felt just as excited as Luke. For the first time ever, she was unwrapping the gifts she’d dreamed of since she was a young child- make-up sets, bottles of designer perfume, two new dresses, a new smart pencil skirt, two tight sweaters and a pair of smart court shoes with a 2-inch heel. With every present that Lucy unwrapped, she felt more and more accepted by her parents, and yet, she still felt uneasy. She couldn’t help but notice that while her father was eagerly discussing teaching her brother how to shave, her mother was remaining silent- there was no discussion of, for example, shopping for her first bra. As awkward as Lucy felt, though, was nothing compared to what would come next.
“Now then, these presents,” Paul said as he produced two plain envelopes, one addressed to Luke and one to Lucy. “These are appointments- well, referrals, really. We’ve- we’ve given your details- not, like, as an obligation, but…” The twins frowned with confusion as their father’s voice nervously tailed off, before biting their lips anxiously as their mother continued for him.
“They’re referrals to a fertility clinic,” Sarah said bluntly as her children fidgeted. “To save- well, ‘cells’, in case- well, in case you want to have children at some point, you can, well, freeze ‘stuff’ here.”
“Obviously we don’t need to tell the science students what THAT entails,” Paul mumbled. “But- and don’t feel that you’re, like, under any obligation to take up these referrals. We would like to have grandchildren- like, eventually- but that’s entirely your choice to make, not ours.” Much like the ‘other thing’, Lucy thought to herself as she fiddled with the envelope.
“Well, regardless, the clinic isn’t going to be open on Christmas Day, so you don’t need to think about it right now,” Sarah said.
"O- okay," Luke whispered as he and Lucy carefully placed the letters on the coffee table.
“Well, anyway,” Paul said, slapping his hands on his thighs as he stood up. “I hope you’ve both had a better Christmas- well, so far, anyway- than yas usually do.”
“Oh- much better, thanks,” Lucy chuckled nervously.
“By miles,” Luke concurred.
“I’m glad to hear it, I really am,” Paul said with a warm, loving smile. “Yas both look a million times happier than I’ve seen you in years, especially since before- well, yeah.”
“Yep,” Lucy whispered.
“We should- we should probably get dressed,” Luke said. “What time- what time are grandpa and grandma coming round?”
“Lunchtime, same as always,” Paul replied, his mood suddenly darkening. “Go on, get yaselves dressed. Luke- you’d better go first, god knows how long ya sister will take in the bathroom!” Lucy rolled her eyes as her father laughed at his own joke, but as she moved aside to allow her brother to stand up, she grimaced as one final gift poked her in her side- the same gift Luke had handed her mere minutes earlier.
“…Almost forgot,” Lucy mumbled, blushing as her brother sat back down and looked at her with an expectant smile on his face. Lucy grinned as she unwrapped the present, before frowning as she uncovered what was inside. “…An old doll?”
“Aye,” Luke said, his expectant smile transforming into a proud grin. “Don’t you remember that one? I got it for Christmas when I was 11, just after we started secondary school.”
“I remember me being really jealous and you never playing with it,” Lucy replied, before rolling her eyes and smiling as their parents looked on with proud smiles. “…Thanks, I get- I get the gesture you’re trying to make. Well, succeeded at making. Heh, wish I’d kept some of my old football sticker albums now.”
“…Nah, you don’t,” Luke retorted, chuckling as his sister blushed and averted her eyes. “But that’s okay. They’d have gone mouldy in the shed anyway, heh. We- we’d better get dressed now.” Lucy smiled as she and her brother stood up, but before her brother left, she made sure to give him a long, loving hug, while their parents' smiles widened even further.
While Luke washed his face and brushed his teeth, Lucy sat alone in her bedroom trying to mentally psyche herself up for the day ahead. She smiled as she stared at the doll that she'd given pride of place on her shelf- a symbol of her ‘victory’, just like all of the other presents she’d received that day. However, it also served as a reminder of a goal that she wasn't convinced she could achieve. The doll was slender but curvy, had long, thin legs, long, golden blonde hair, a cute teardrop-shaped face and was unmistakably feminine in every imaginable way. Lucy, on the other hand, was tall, had a wide chest and shoulder, shoulder-length brown hair that was already thinning and an unmistakably masculine jawline. To Lucy, the doll represented everything she ever wanted to be… but also everything she knew she never would be.
However, Lucy knew her brother well enough to know that he wouldn’t have given her something to depress her, but something to aspire to. She knew that Luke didn’t have a poster of Callum Wilson on his wall as a reminder of what he can never be, but rather as something to aspire to. Luke would never be six feet tall and have a chiselled six pack, but he would be male- and in fact, he already was male, just as Lucy already was female. She deserved to not just be recognised as female, but celebrated as female- and she deserved to celebrate Christmas as the woman that she truly was.
Once Luke was finished in the bathroom, Lucy took her turn, brushing out her hair to maximise its volume and applying a subtle layer of make-up to her face. After returning to her bedroom, Lucy pulled on a panty girdle she had bought a while back- something she'd hoped would help with the shape of her body- before rolling a pair of opaque black tights up her smooth, hairless legs, straightening out any wrinkles before stepping into the new black pencil skirt she’d received that morning. After pulling on a tight purple turtleneck sweater (and taking care not to ruin her make-up), Lucy stood back and examined herself in her mirror.
Sure, she was still 5’ 11. Sure, the clothes she wore bore the numbers ‘14’ and ‘16’. And sure, she’d never win any beauty competitions, or look like the doll on her shelf. But she could look at the reflection in her mirror and say, unambiguously, ‘I am a woman’.
“Looking good!” Luke enthused as Lucy stepped out of her bedroom and did a twirl for her brother.
“Thanks!” Lucy giggled. “You’re looking very… smart too, hehe!” The twins shared a smile as Luke shrugged and showed off the smart shirt and trousers he was wearing.
“Selfie for Facebook?” Luke asked as he retrieved his phone from his pocket.
“…Sure, why not?” Lucy replied, posing for the selfie even as she felt nervous at the prospect of showing her look off to the entire internet- though even that paled in comparison to the confrontation that was looming.
“Looking good, you two,” Paul said with a nervous smile of his own as the twins descended the stairs into the living room. “Very- very grown up.” Damned by faint praise, Lucy thought to herself as she forced a smile on her face.
“Th- thanks,” Luke whispered as he and Lucy sat on the sofa, desperately trying to keep their nerves in check.
The twins tried everything they could think of to take their minds off of their grandparents' impending arrival, from browsing Facebook and exchanging occasional messages with their friends, to showing off their presents to each other to even watching the traditional Christmas Day service on television. However, time inevitably marched onwards, and shortly after 1pm, a knock came from the front door.
“Right,” Paul said as he stood up. “I’ll get that.” Luke smiled sympathetically as he felt his sister tremble with nerves next to him.
“Hey,” Luke whispered, gripping his sister’s hand for support. “It’s going to be okay, okay? There’s nothing they can do.”
“Easy for you to say when you’re not the one sat here in a skirt,” Lucy retorted.
“There-“ Sarah said hesitantly, before taking a deep breath. “There’s still time to change, if that’s what you want.” What, my clothes or my gender? Lucy thought to herself as she felt a wave of anger wash over her.
“…No,” Lucy said firmly, smiling as her brother’s grip on her hand tightened.
Seconds later, the door to the living room opened, and for the first time ever, Lucy came face-to-face with her grandparents as their granddaughter. Much to the twins’ surprise, though, rather than shout, or scream, or turn red with fury, Derek instead remained calm, with the exception of a single scowl as he glanced at the two teenagers. An awkward silence filled the room as Paul sat back down next to his wife, while Derek and Eileen remained standing, fidgeting awkwardly as they cast furtive glances at the two teenagers.
“M- merry Christmas,” Lucy said in a shaky voice.
“Merry Christmas indeed,” Derek snorted in reply, before letting out a sigh of pure disgust. “Ya know, I’ve had months ta think about this. Not like I’ve had owt else ta do with this bloody virus still hanging around. And I’ve come ta the conclusion that tha two of yas are both adults, and ya entitled ta do what ya want.” Luke and Lucy felt their hearts swell as they heard their grandfather speak- was a Christmas miracle about to happen? “That doesn’t mean I have ta like it, though.”
“…Oh,” Lucy mumbled as she suddenly felt very, very small under her grandfather’s angry glare.
“Dad-“ Paul said softly, only to be silenced as the elderly man continued talking, unaware or uncaring that his son wanted to speak.
“As far as I’m concerned,” Derek snorted, “yas are both nowt but a pair of silly kids, prancing around pretending ta be something ya not and ya never will be! And I ain’t gonna sit around and pretend that this shit is normal. Goodbye. I hope yas both proud of yaselves!”
“D- dad, wait!” Paul said, rising from his chair only to be silenced when his father turned around and pointed a finger in his face.
“And YOU-“ Derek snarled. “Are a disgrace of a father. Goodbye.” An awkward silence filled the room as the elderly couple left the house, slamming the door as they went.
“D- dad-“ Luke whispered.
“Well, anyway,” Paul said, clapping his hands together and forcing a smile on his face. “Guess that means there’ll be more food for the rest of us, won’t it? Maybe yas should call Susie to see if her and her mam want to help us eat it, I think ‘rule of six’ still applies with ‘tier three’ or whatever, like.”
“Dad, are- are you okay?” Luke asked.
“Hmm?” Paul replied, having barely even heard the question. “Oh- aye, I’m fine, really! We- we shouldn’t let all of this ruin our Christmas. I mean, what’s Christmas without a family argument, right? I’ll call them tomorrow, it’ll all be fine, you’ll see.” Luke nodded at his father’s insistence, but he knew instinctively that he was putting on a brave face and deep down inside, he was hurting.
“The real question,” Sarah whispered hesitantly, “is are you two okay?” Lucy bit her lip as she pondered her answer to her mother’s question. On the one hand, her brother was right- in a practical sense, nothing in her life had changed. She was still sat wearing the same clothes she was before her grandparents had visited. She was still Lucy. But that didn't stop her from feeling an inch tall- not even the calming grip of her brother’s hand on hers.
“Aye, we’re fine,” Luke replied, ignorant of his sister’s tension. “But I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again- if they’re going to speak to us like that, I will not be sorry if I never see them again.”
“Well, I-“ Paul replied, only to close his mouth as his son continued to talk.
“I know, I know, you would be sorry,” Luke said. “Even after he spoke to you like that?”
“He’s still my dad,” Paul said in a quiet, almost meek voice. “And I mean, he IS getting old. Ya dunno how much longer he’ll be around, him or ya grandma.”
“Well, we’re not the ones who need to compromise,” Luke said firmly. “You’ve said this yourself in the past.”
“And I stand by that,” Paul retorted. “Like I said, I- I’ll speak ta them tomorrow. We shouldn’t let it ruin our Christmas. YOUR Christmas.”
“…Thanks,” Lucy mumbled, even as she continued to fidget in her clothes, which were once a source of comfort and excitement, but suddenly felt more uncomfortable than ever…
The Miller family worked hard for the rest of the day to put the confrontation behind them, but despite their best efforts a dark cloud still hung over the household for the rest of the holiday. Before long, though, January came around and Luke and Lucy eagerly returned to their studies on campus- the one place they felt truly free to be who they were. Despite the continuing restrictions imposed as a result of covid, the twins wasted no time in settling back into their student lives, but the confrontation over Christmas continued to prey on their minds- especially Lucy’s.
Both twins were forced to ask themselves how big a price they would be prepared to pay to live the lives they wanted to live- and how big a price they were willing to ask others to pay for them…
