Lucy blinked her eyes twice as she slowly woke from her slumber. As she took in her surroundings, she was momentarily confused- she wasn’t in her dorm in Durham, but rather in her old bedroom in her parents’ house in Newcastle. Her disorientation vanished, however, when she glanced at her chair- and, more importantly, the short denim skirt and tight grey t-shirt she’d worn the previous day. Worn openly, in front of both of her parents, with neither of them commenting or even batting an eyelid.

As she swung her smooth, hairless legs out of her bed, Lucy thought back to the Saturday exactly two weeks earlier, when her father had arrived at the front gate of Durham University to pick herself and her brother up. She thought about the anxiety she felt on that day, her ongoing uncertainty that she would truly be accepted by her parents and about the decision that she faced- a decision that her brother had found much easier.

“…So, are you gonna pick something or are you gonna go back to Newcastle in your pyjamas?” Luke had asked as Lucy, clad only in the shorts and camisole she wore to bed, stared into the travel case that was filled with skirts and dresses- HER skirts and dresses. Skirts and dresses that she’d worn all throughout her first year at university and that she’d have no problem wearing if it was an ordinary university day- which it most definitely wasn’t.

Even though she’d come out to her parents three months earlier, and even though they'd seemed to accept the fact that their son was now their daughter (and vice versa, which Lucy noted they had had an easier time accepting), Lucy had yet to fully ‘present’ herself to her parents, especially her father. Whenever they’d spoken on the telephone, she’d used her affected feminine voice, but always ended up lapsing back into a deeper tone, figuring that it would make her parents more comfortable. On the two occasions they’d met face to face, Lucy had worn a t-shirt and a pair of jeans- a girl’s t-shirt and girl’s jeans, but t-shirt and jeans nonetheless. None of those phone calls or meetings lasted for longer than two hours, but the looming summer break would last for far, far longer. Lucy and Luke were about to return to their homes for three months, and while she had the option of wearing girly jeans and a t-shirt throughout the break, Lucy knew that if she didn’t take the plunge and present herself ‘fully’ to her parents, she might never muster up the courage do so.

“…This one,” Lucy mumbled as she picked a plain knee-length denim skirt out of her drawer.

“You’re sure?” Luke asked gently. “’Cause I guess you could always wear jeans today and, like, the skirt tomorrow, or-“

“No,” Lucy interrupted. “If I don’t do this now, I- I- I might never, you know?”

“They’ve had three months to get used to the fact that you’re a girl,” Luke reminded his sister. “They’re expecting to see a girl.”

“Just like they did the last couple of times I saw them?” Lucy retorted.

“Well- well they were the warm-ups, the practices,” Luke said, before biting his lip. “Luce, you- you do still want to be a girl, don’t you?”

“Well- yeah, of course,” Lucy sighed. “Some days it’s all I can think of, even when I’m wearing make-up or a skirt. I just- ugh. I don’t want to be the 5’ 11” girl with a jaw like Mr Incredible, that’s all.”

“Hey, I’m 100% with you on this one,” Luke sighed. “Try being the shortest guy on the football team by a full 4 inches. Heh, when we were having our team photo taken Barnes actually suggested I should wear high heels to, like, make up for it. Took all of my willpower not to chin the twat then and there.”

“Ugh, I’m SO sorry to hear that,” Lucy sighed. “So, umm… what make-up d’you think I should wear?” The tall teenage girl grimaced as her brother regarded her with a withering stare. “Yes, yes, okay, I know, wrong person to ask…”

“WrongEST person to ask,” Luke retorted. “But in all seriousness, just wear what you feel most comfortable in. That’s what I’m doing. Though I will say that just ‘cause lockdown’s been ‘relaxed’ or whatever, it doesn’t mean we’re going to, like, hang out with anyone this summer.”

“Well- true, I guess,” Lucy sighed as she applied a light layer of mascara and eyeliner. “Sucks that we can’t even give Susie a lift back home. Hope we’ll get to at least see her over the holidays.”

“Aye, same goes for Gav,” Luke said. “I was hoping we’d be able to meet those friends of Priya’s, like, down in London? Guess THAT’s not happening now either…”

“Yeah, I was looking forward to that too,” Lucy sighed. “But- you know? This virus can’t go on forever, I’m sure we’ll get the chance to head down eventually, if not this year, then maybe next.”

“Yeah,” Luke said, before smiling sympathetically as his sister put the finishing touches to her look. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” Lucy said, taking a deep breath before grabbing her travel cases and leading her brother out of the halls of residence and toward the car park.

With every step they took, the twins found themselves growing more and more nervous, finding it harder to fight the urge to return to the sanctity of their dorms. However, they continued to force themselves ever forward, only pausing as they caught sight of their father stood next to his car.

Lucy bit her lip nervously as she tried to gauge her father’s reaction to seeing her ‘fully’ as herself for the first time, her nerves only increasing as he remained stoic, unreadable. She found herself almost wishing that he would react angrily, or criticise her look, or anything to show that he at least acknowledged that she had changed- but no reaction was forthcoming. Lucy tried to console herself with the fact that he was at least implicitly, if not explicitly accepting her…

“H- hi dad,” Lucy said in a voice barely louder than a whisper as her father helped put her case into the boot.

“Hi Lu- Lucy,” Paul said with an obviously forced smile. “Hi Luke.”

“Hi dad,” Luke said. “Umm… good drive down here?”

“Aye, the roads were pretty quiet,” Paul replied. “No prizes for guessing why, heh.”

“Yeah,” Luke chuckled nervously as he climbed onto the back seat of the car, while his sister elegantly lowered herself onto the front passenger seat.

“So, umm…” Paul mumbled. “Have yas two got anything planned for the summer holidays?”

“Not really,” Lucy replied. “And no prizes for guessing why, like.”

“Well- aye, I suppose that’s true,” Paul said. “Just your luck that you’d have your first big summer break when there’s a worldwide pandemic going on, heh.”

“Yeah,” Lucy said with a forced chuckle. “Umm, dad, you- you are, you know, okay with us-“

“Typical that it’d postpone the Euros and the Olympics as well,” Paul chuckled. “Still, at least the Toon will get the chance to finish off the season. Heh, I would offer to take ya to a match, Luke, but- yeah. Doesn’t look like THAT will happen any time soon either.”

“Guess not,” Luke mumbled. “Though I- I would have liked that.”

“I figure I’ve got nineteen years to catch up on, so- yeah,” Paul said with a heavy sigh.

“Me too,” Lucy said, frowning as an awkward silence filled the car.

“Well- aye, that’s true as well,” Paul conceded.

“Yep,” Lucy said, leading to another awkward silence that lasted until their return to Newcastle.

When the twins had returned home, they’d wasted no time in heading to their respective bedrooms and unpacking their suitcases. Both Luke and Lucy had felt an odd sense of apprehension as, following their father’s advice, they emptied their wardrobes of the clothing of their former genders and replaced it with the clothes they’d worn all throughout their time at university. While Luke had felt no regrets about ridding himself of the skirts and dresses he hardly ever wore anyway, Lucy felt sentimental as she discarded her old boy’s jeans and sweaters, musing that they were at least comfortable during winter, and wondering if it’d hurt if she kept the odd one or two items of clothing. However, she reasoned that in order for her transition to be taken seriously- especially by her parents and her counsellor- she had to prove that she was as committed to it as her brother was to his. After all, whatever they did, they did together- always.

Once the twins were settled in, they’d descended the stairs into the living room together, just as they’d done countless times in the past, but this time felt different- special, even.

“Now then,” Paul said hesitantly. “You’re both looking, umm, healthy.”

“Thanks,” Lucy whispered, frowning as yet another awkward silence fell over the family.

“So…” Paul said. “Do- are you two, you know, comfortable? Do yas need me to get you anything?”

“Honestly-“ Lucy replied, before sighing. “Honestly, dad, we get that you’re trying, and this is a lot for you to adjust to, to take in…”

“No, it’s your lives, what you want is what’s most important,” Paul said. “And it’s not like I haven’t had plenty of time to, like, get ready for it.”

“It’ll be normal enough before too long,” Luke said, trying to reassure his father.

“Well- aye, I hope so,” Paul sighed. “But I’m willing to try, and so’s your mam. She’ll tell you as much when she gets home from work.”

“Thanks,” Lucy whispered. “And to answer your earlier question, yes, yes we are comfortable. More comfortable than I’ve ever been, in fact.”

“Totally,” Luke concurred. “This IS who I was meant to be. As for anything you can get us… All we need is your support.”

“And your love,” Lucy whispered.

“Well- aye, you know you don’t need to ask me for that!” Paul chuckled. “And I suppose you’re right, it’ll be normal soon enough.”

As she mused on her memories of that first day, Lucy couldn't help but think of how, in the two weeks since their return to Newcastle, her parents had been true to their word in their promise to accept the twins in their new genders. However, she knew there was still a long way to go. Luke and Paul had bonded as they’d watched Newcastle United matches on the television, but Lucy and Sarah had yet to find a common interest to bond over- and worst of all, Lucy sensed that they missed their 'old' children- the boy that Lucy had been and the girl that Luke once was. Lucy knew- or at least, strongly suspected- that the bond that had existed would take a long time to rebuild.

However, with every passing day, the situation in the household became more and more normal, as Lucy observed when she padded downstairs in her lightweight dressing gown to find her parents and her brother already awake and eating breakfast.

“Morning!” Paul said with a cheery smile that Lucy tried her best to mirror.

“Morning,” Lucy replied as she grabbed a cup of coffee and a banana and sat down next to her brother.

“What have yas two got planned for today, then?” Paul asked. “I get there’s not much for yas to actually do right now, but your summer holiday will be over before ya know it, you know?”

“Yeah, yeah, we know,” Luke replied. “We can, like, meet up with people outside, so I might send a message to Susie and see if she wants to meet anywhere, I dunno.”

“Well- make sure you both have as much fun today as you can,” Paul said, before letting out a tired, nervous chuckle. “Especially as there are no part time jobs I can lean on you to apply for, heh. And…”

“…Yes?” Luke asked, frowning with confusion at his father’s hesitation before sighing. “Grandma and Grandpa are coming round, aren’t they?”

“…Yep,” Paul replied. “We’ve no’ seen them since the start of lockdown, and they- they said they wanted to see yas both, welcome you home from university… Hey. There’s no need to be pessimistic about this, I mean, it IS 2020, not 1920. Sure, they may be a bit set in their ways, but they’ll soon realise that they don’t get a say in this, and they WILL accept you. I will personally guarantee that.”

“Paul,” Sarah whispered quietly.

“When- when are they coming round?” Lucy asked as she felt her anxiety levels start to rise.

“This evening,” Paul replied. “I’m going to set up the barbecue, we’re going to have a couple of burgers, I’ll explain everything, I’ll introduce you, everything will be fine, I promise.”

“Paul, can we speak?” Sarah asked firmly, gesturing toward the kitchen as the twins looked on nervously.

“…Well, when you think about it, what’s the worst that can happen?” Lucy asked. “It’s not like we live with Grandma and Grandpa, we’ve not seen them in seven months and barely even noticed they weren't around.”

“Well- aye, I guess,” Luke sighed. “D’you really think it’s gonna go as easy as dad said it would, though?”

“It could,” Lucy replied. “I mean, they’ve spent the last four months being isolated, same as everyone else, maybe they’ve, you know, changed?”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Luke snorted as he picked up his phone and began composing a text message. “I’m messaging Susie, in case you’re wondering, just seeing if she wants to do anything today.”

“Message Gav as well,” Lucy said. “He’s said that MS doesn’t make him higher risk for covid, so- yeah.”

“Will do,” Luke said. “Though I think we’re going to need cheering up tomorrow rather than today, heh.”

“So ask if they’re free today AND tomorrow,” Lucy shrugged. “Like dad said, we need to make sure we have as much fun as we can, right?”

“True,” Luke said, before pressing ‘send’ on his phone. “And I guess no matter what, we’ll be going back to Durham in September. Heh, unless the virus goes, like, nuclear or something…”

“Yeah, that’s optimistic,” Lucy chuckled, smirking as her brother gave her a gentle shove and their parents returned from the kitchen.

“Now then,” Paul said. “Have yas decided what ya gonna do today, had any response from your friends?”

“Not yet,” Luke replied. “Only just texted them, heh.”

“Fair enough,” Paul said with a shrug, before grimacing as another awkward silence filled the room.

“Anyway,” Sarah said, “Do you both know what time you’ll be home?”

“…Dunno what time we’ll be OUT yet,” Lucy replied with a nervous chuckle.

“Well, whenever you go or return, it’s important that yas don’t get too worked up about tonight,” Paul advised. “Whatever happens, you’ll still be waking up in this house tomorrow morning, and you- well…”

“I’ll still be a girl and Luke will still be a boy?” Lucy asked.

“…Aye, that,” Paul mumbled. "But everything will be fine, you'll see. You'll be back to having fun in no time, I guarantee it." As Luke opened his mouth to reply, his phone pinged to notify him of a new message- something that both father and son couldn't help but smirk at.

"...It's from Susie," Luke said. "She's free, can meet up anytime."

"See?" Paul asked with a smug grin. "What did I just say? Fun, just like yas should be having on your summer holiday. So, eat up, get dressed and go out and enjoy your summer!"

Luke and Lucy smiled as they obeyed their father's 'order', and while they both had every intention of enjoying the day, deep down inside, both felt almost overwhelmed by anxiety about the upcoming barbecue. However, they tried their hardest to put those thoughts to the back of their minds, something that was made easier when they headed to the city centre and saw the smiling face of their flame-haired friend.

“Hey guys!” Susie said, smiling sadly as the twins waved and sat down on an adjacent bench, making sure to maintain the mandated two metre distance between them. “Feels like ages since we last saw each other, heh.”

“Ugh, I know what you mean,” Lucy sighed as she smoothed the skirt of her short summer dress while Luke adjusted his baggy jeans. “How’s things at home?”

“Cramped,” Susie snorted. “With me and mam there all the time… heh. Made me remember why I was so desperate to move away to uni, heh.”

“Is your mam furloughed, then?” Luke asked, smiling sympathetically as his friend nodded.

“So’s our dad,” Lucy sighed. “Our mam’s still going into work full-time, as she, like, works for Tesco.”

“But neither of your parents got the dreaded ‘rona, though?” Susie asked, smiling as the twins both shook their heads.

“It’s pretty silly that we can’t sit any closer together, as none of us obviously have it,” Luke snorted.

“Aye, but the point is, we might, you know, ‘not obviously’ have it,” Susie retorted. “Like, I was talking to Rick from the LGBT society not long ago, he said he felt fine all throughout lockdown, but one week near the start he just randomly lost his sense of smell and taste. Didn’t feel ill otherwise and just kept carrying on as normal, but- yeah. Almost certain to have been, well- yeah.”

“And we were hanging out with him same as always,” Lucy mused. “Ugh, can we- can we talk about something a little more, you know, upbeat?”

“More upbeat than the literal plague?” Susie asked, earning a chuckle from her friends. “Ah, can probably manage that, heh. What’ve you two got planned for tonight?” Susie frowned with confusion as her friends’ demeanours suddenly darkened. “…What?”

“We’ve told you before about our grandparents, haven’t we?” Lucy asked.

“Aye, you have,” Susie replied, before sighing and smiling sympathetically. “Are you seeing them this weekend?”

“Heh, tonight actually,” Lucy replied. “Haven’t felt this nervous since- heh.”

“Since we first came out to our parents,” Luke chuckled, sensing what his sister was thinking.

“And- and that went okay, didn’t it?” Susie asked. “And- and I don’t mean this, like, disrespectfully, but- but are your grandparents, you know, all that- all that important? Like, in the grand scheme of things sort of way.”

“What do you mean?” Lucy asked.

“Well, like, my grandma died when I was thirteen,” Susie replied. “But I always remember her sneering whenever someone like Alan Carr or Graham Norton was on the TV, and- yeah. I know she wouldn’t approve of my, well, ‘preferences’, but you know what? I really couldn’t care less. It’s my life, not hers.”

“Well- yeah, I get that, but- ugh,” Luke spat. “I know, like, logically there’s nothing they can do. We’re adults, it’s our lives, but- yeah. There’s always, like, the paranoia, that our parents might choose them over us, or Grandpa might get violent…”

“How much can a seventy-plus guy do against two fit teenagers?” Susie asked rhetorically. “And I’ve met your parents, don’t forget. Think you’ve got nowt to worry about for that first thing either.”

“Well, fingers crossed,” Lucy chuckled nervously.

“Either way, I’ll make sure I’m free all tonight in case yas both need to chat,” Susie said with a warm grin. “Meantime, I’m starving! Shall we try to find somewhere that sells food that’s actually open?”

“Aye, sounds good to me,” Lucy replied. “Though we’ll probably only have a little bit to eat, dad’s having a barbecue later, like, when our grandparents come round.”

“Assuming we’ll still have an appetite,” Luke snorted as the three teenagers headed to a nearby food vendor.

After eating lunch and saying goodbye to Susie, the twins returned home, where they attempted to while away the afternoon with a combination of reading, television and videogames. However, no matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t get their minds off of the impending evening, and when they heard their father fire up the barbecue, both Luke and Lucy’s nerves started to jangle- especially when their father called out to them mere seconds later.

“Luke!” Paul shouted from the back garden. “D’you want to give us a hand out here?” The twins looked at each other uncertainly as they processed their father’s request.

“…He’d better have meant you,” Lucy said with a shrug as her brother nodded and strolled out onto the patio.

“Can you get out those baps please?” Paul asked, gesturing to the packet of bread rolls on the garden table, before grimacing at his double entendre. “Ah- umm, like- I mean-“

“The bread,” Luke interrupted, before separating and opening up the baps. “Yeah, I know.”

“…For what it’s worth, your bro- your sister would probably have been in hysterics at that joke,” Paul mumbled.

“Yeah, I doubt it,” Luke snorted. “And you- were you expecting to see her instead of me?”

“No I was NOT,” Paul insisted, though Luke sensed from his body language that he wasn't being entirely truthful. “Your name is Luke, that means YOU are my son. Not your br- your sister.” Smooth, Luke thought to himself.

“…Right,” Luke mumbled. “What- what time will they be here?”

“Not long, a few minutes probably,” Paul replied. “And do. Not. Worry. Everything will be fine. You’ll see.”

“Yeah, right,” Luke snorted.

“Honestly, you’re getting all worked up over nothing,” Paul said, smiling as he heard a car pull up outside his house. “And speaking of…”

As Luke was helping their father with the barbecue, Lucy remained on the sofa, idly flicking through her phone and not even noticing the car pulling up outside their home. However, seconds later, a noise reverberated through the house that nearly made her drop her phone in shock.

“HE DID WHAT!?” The unmistakable sound of the twins’ grandfather bellowed from the rear of the garden. Lucy strained to hear what her father was saying in reply, but his voice was indistinct, especially when compared to the older man's rage.

“AND YA JUST LET THEM!?” Derek yelled. “CLEARLY I DIDN’T CLOUT YA HARD ENOUGH WHEN YA WERE A KID!” Lucy felt her blood chill at her grandfather's words and immediately felt terrified for her brother, who was no doubt also feeling the brunt of their grandfather's rage. Lucy remembered the promise that she and Luke had made to each other- that whatever they did, they did together, always- but as hard as she tried, she found herself unable to rise from the sofa to join her brother in the garden. In her mind, Lucy was 6 years old again, coming down the stairs wearing her sister’s party dress and being yelled at by her grandfather. The difference was that back then, it was a game, whereas in the present, it was Lucy’s life- and back then, her grandfather ultimately apologised for his outburst, whereas in the present, Lucy knew he would never forgive her this time.

Lucy only moved from the sofa when she heard her grandparents’ car drive away, and when she entered the garden, she was unsurprised to find her father stood at his barbecue with a sad, faraway look on his face, while her brother was hunched over with his back to her.

“D- dad?” Lucy whispered.

“So,” Paul said in a dark, sombre voice. “I may- I may have been a bit, well, optimistic… yeah. Don’t suppose you’ve still got much of an appetite, then?”

“Not really,” Lucy mumbled, her stomach churning at the sight of the meat that was ready to be grilled. “L- Luke? Are you okay?”

“I- I’m gonna go back inside,” Luke mumbled, pulling away from his sister’s arms as she went to hug him, leaving Lucy and Paul alone in an awkward silence.

“…Seems a shame to let all this food go to waste,” Paul said hesitantly. “D- d’you want to text Susie and Gavin, see if they want to come round for a, like, socially distanced barbecue?”

“I- I dunno,” Lucy mumbled.

“I just- I just figured you could use some the company of some friends right-“ Paul said, before pausing as his daughter leaned in for a hug- a hug Paul was only too happy to reciprocate.

As he laid on his bed in his room trying not to cry, Luke replayed the confrontation with his grandfather over and over in his mind. His grandparents had had wide grins on their faces as they arrived, and even the sight of him in plain jeans and a t-shirt- boys’ jeans and a baggy t-shirt- hadn’t drawn any notice from them. All that had changed, though, when Luke’s father began his explanation. The anger in the old man’s eyes, along with the speed with which his mood changed, was immediately and irreversibly seared onto Luke's memory. However, like his twin, what stuck in his mind the most was what the old man had said to their father- 'that he should have clouted him harder'.

Luke closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind of the stress he felt from the confrontation, but as hard as he tried, his anxiety levels only grew, and the knock that came from his bedroom door did nothing to help.

“I’m not hungry,” the distraught young man mumbled.

“Luke?” The gentle voice on the other side of the door asked. “It’s Lucy, can I come in?” Luke paused and let out a long sigh, before sitting up on the edge of his bed.

“…Sure,” Luke sighed, forcing a smile on his face as his twin sat down next to him and smoothed her short summer dress over her legs.

“Hey,” Lucy whispered.

“H- hey,” Luke mumbled.

“I- I’m sorry,” Lucy mumbled, her cheeks reddening with shame.

“What for?” Luke snorted. “You didn’t do anything…”

“Yeah, that- that’s the point,” Lucy sighed. “I didn’t, but I should’ve. If I’d gone out into the garden when I heard Grandpa shouting-“

“Things probably would’ve been worse,” Luke interrupted. “And not because of anything that was your fault. Lucy, did- did you hear what Grandpa said to dad?” Luke bit his lip and frowned as his sister solemnly nodded her head, her cheeks reddening further. Unable to say anything further, the twins simply leaned into each other for a long, tight hug.

“D- dad says we can invite Susie and Gav around if we want,” Lucy said. “To, like, eat all the meat instead of letting it go to waste.”

“Isn’t Gav vegetarian?” Luke asked, smiling as his sister giggled.

“…Just Susie then,” Lucy laughed. “I think we both need some company right now.”

“I’ve got all the company I NEED right now,” Luke said with a sad smile that his sister mirrored. “Though you can never…”

“…Have too many friends!” Lucy giggled, before sighing. “We- we should go downstairs, I mean, dad got it just as bad as we did, right?”

“Worse,” Luke whispered in reply, letting out a sad sigh of his own as he and his sister got off his bed and headed downstairs to the barbecue, where their parents were talking.

“Hi you two!” Paul said, sporting a smile that the twins could immediately tell was forced. “Have you texted your friends, Lucy?”

“Umm, not yet,” Lucy replied. “I’ll text Susie, Gavin, he- he’s vegetarian, so probably not interested in a barbecue, heh.”

“Heh, good job he didn’t come round while your grandparents were here, then,” Paul chuckled nervously. “Gay AND vegetarian? Heh…”

“Dad, are- are you okay?” Lucy asked, grimacing as her father briefly paused and a faraway look spread across his face. That look, though, was quickly replaced by the same insincere grin he'd sported earlier.

“Oh- aye, I’m fine!” Paul chuckled. “How are the two of you?”

“Been better,” Luke mumbled in reply, making his father pause yet again.

“I- I’ll talk to your grandparents,” Paul said gently. “It was probably just a shock for him, I’m sure that if I give him time, he’ll- well…”

“…Yeah,” Luke said, unconvinced by his father’s optimism. “Dad, don’t forget that I saw just how angry he was.”

“L- like I said, probably just came as a sock- shock, whatever…” Paul mumbled as he turned his attention back to his cooking. “Let’s just eat, then yas can put this behind ya for now- like, yas can get back to enjoying your holiday, like?”

“Sure,” Lucy whispered, though her stomach continued to churn with worry- not just for herself and her brother, but for her father too.

The family sat down to eat their dinner in the garden a short while later, with Susie joining later that evening. After the five had eaten, and while Paul and Sarah were clearing away the remnants of the meal, Susie took the opportunity to speak to the twins, having sensed their tension from the moment she had arrived.

“Hey you two,” the ginger-haired girl said with a sympathetic smile. “I- I’m guessing things didn’t go great this afternoon, then?”

“Is it THAT obvious?” Lucy mumbled.

“Well, I figure part of the reason I’m here is to cheer you both up,” Susie replied with a quiet chuckle. “Which I’m always happy to do, by the way. And I figured if your grandparents were, you know, okay, they’d have been here eating with the rest of us…”

“…I keep forgetting how smart you are,” Luke said with a snort of laughter. “The only positive about the afternoon is they didn’t stick around long, just a couple of minutes then they threw a massive tantrum and buggered off.”

“They also didn’t actually SEE me,” Lucy mumbled. “God knows how much worse THAT would have made things.”

“Ugh, I really, REALLY wish I could just give you both a hug right now,” Susie sighed. “Stupid covid- in general, I mean, I’ve not got it, like, but- yeah.”

“I dunno, it would’ve been a million times worse if we’d been inside,” Luke chuckled. “But I do appreciate the offer, heh.”

“I just wish there was more I could do to support you guys,” Susie said.

“Well, it’s not like we haven’t had our wins over the last year,” Lucy shrugged. “We’re here as the gender we really are, our parents have accepted us, uni has accepted us- for the most part, anyway…”

“And we- all of us- have a bigger circle of friends,” Susie said. “Still doesn’t mean you should accept being yelled at by OAPs who should know better.”

“Well- aye, that’s definitely true,” Lucy chuckled.

“I guess what they say is true, you can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends,” Luke said with a sad smile.

“I dunno, not ALL of my family is a pain,” Lucy said with a giggle as she wrapped an arm around her brother’s shoulder.

“And we’ll be back with all our friends in a few weeks’ time, and you’ll be able to put this summer far behind you,” Susie advised.

“Well- the first part is true,” Luke sighed. “Gonna be a while before I can put all of THIS behind me…”

Susie stayed chatting with Luke and Lucy for another fifteen minutes, after which the twins headed back inside and straight up to Luke’s bedroom, where the young man flopped down onto his bed while his sister took a seat in the corner of the room.

“…Well, today sucked,” Luke moaned. “Not like it was never going to, but- yeah.”

“But on the plus side, we’re never going to have to do that again,” Lucy said. “Grandma and Grandpa now know, even if they don’t approve, so we can tell Dr Adams, and maybe, you know, take one step further toward HRT?” Luke allowed himself a smile at the prospect- both he and Lucy had talked extensively with their counsellor about beginning hormone treatments, and the prospect of developing muscle mass and growing facial hair greatly appealed to him. As did the prospect of not having to wear his uncomfortable chest binder- or worse yet, a bra- or having 'monthly problems' either.

“Aye, that’s true, I guess,” Luke said. “Really feel bad for dad, though. Like, he’s going to be right in the middle of things now, right?”

“Aye, that’s true,” Lucy sighed. “But we didn’t choose to be transgender. Grandma and Grandpa DID choose to be transphobic. Remember what Jamie-Lee Burke said once, on an episode of the Angels? We shouldn’t have to change who we are, or pretend to be someone we’re not just to make bigoted bullies feel better about themselves. We should be proud of who we are.” Lucy bit her lip as she awaited her brother's response, wondering whether he'd agree or be as sceptical as she secretly felt about her words.

“Easy to say when you’ve not got someone literally shouting in your face,” Luke mumbled, before frowning. “Ugh, but- but you ARE right. I’m not proud of, like, potentially breaking the family apart.”

“Yeah, but it’s not US who did that, is it?” Lucy retorted, smiling as the frown slowly disappeared from her brother’s face.

“They won’t see it that way, though,” Luke mused.

“Their problem, not ours,” Lucy said firmly. “If I want to wear this dress, I will. And I do. And, well, I am.”

“Same,” Luke said, before snorting with laughter. “Well, opposite, but same. And you’re right, but it- it’s going to be difficult, the next few weeks, you know?”

“Aye,” Lucy said softly. “But whatever we do, however we face it, we do it together, right?”

“Aye,” Luke said with a wide grin. “Always.”

The twins spent the rest of the evening trying to relax by watching TV, playing videogames and browsing through their friends' social media. However, as hard as they tried to put the events of the afternoon behind them, they were forced to acknowledge the fact that their family had been damaged, possibly irreparably- and not just for them, but for their mother and especially their father as well. Neither Luke nor Lucy got much sleep that night.

The following morning, the twins didn’t get up until long after their parents had, having been awakened by the sound of the television coming from the living room. Both Luke and Lucy reluctantly climbed out of their beds and headed downstairs wrapped in their dressing gowns, smiling sympathetically when they saw their father sat on the sofa with a wide grin on his face.

“Morning!” Paul said. “Ya mam’s gone out to the shops so help yourselves to breakfast, we’ve still got plenty of meat from last night but if you want to save that for lunch, I’ll understand.”

“Thanks,” Luke mumbled, while Lucy sat down opposite her father.

“Dad,” Lucy whispered. “Are- are you okay? After yesterday, I mean-“

“Aye, I’m fine,” Paul replied, before sighing and smiling. “I’ll talk to ya Grandpa in a bit, now that he’s had a chance to sleep on it a bit, he- heh. He’s just a bit old-fashioned, but it- it’s nothing you need to worry about. You shouldn’t let anyone else tell you how to live your lives, you and Lucy. Not even me or your mam.”

“Th- thanks,” Lucy mumbled, consciously choosing not to correct her father's use of her brother's deadname even as Luke frowned.

“So,” Paul said, smiling as his son returned from the kitchen. “What do the two of you have planned for today? Heh- never mind, I think I can guess. How about… what WOULD the two of you have had planned for today if it wasn’t for this bloody virus?”

“Umm… I dunno, really,” Luke replied with a shrug.

“Our friend Priya was talking last year about introducing us to her friends in London,” Lucy mused. “I think a few of them are transgender, she wanted to introduce us, like, get us a bit more of a support group, sort of thing.”

“Aye, I can see how that’d be good for the two of you,” Paul nodded. “You can’t chat to them over the internet, then?”

“Well- aye, I suppose we could,” Lucy shrugged. “Not the same, though, really.”

“Better than nothing though, surely?” Paul suggested. “And you- you should have as much fun as you can. When you’ll be working, you’ll only get 4 weeks’ holiday for the whole year, never mind 3 months at summer!”

“Not sure it’ll make much of a difference if we’re not allowed to go anywhere,” Luke snorted. “But- aye, you’re right. I’ll send a message round to everyone, see if anyone’s up for, like, a group chat today or something.”

“Meaning I should probably get dressed and put some make-up on,” Lucy said, biting her lip as her father nodded, while fidgeting awkwardly in his seat.

“A- aye,” Paul said. “But- but maybe get some breakfast first?” The middle-aged man smiled as his daughter nodded, before fidgeting again and biting his lip as he was left alone with his son. “So, umm…”

“Y- yeah,” Luke said between sips of his coffee. “Dad, are- are you alright?”

“Aye, I told you, I’m fine,” Paul replied, though his discomfort was obvious to his son. “Are YOU okay? I- I know yesterday must’ve been a bit, you know, difficult…”

“I’ll be fine,” Luke said, before frowning as an awkward silence filled the room. “Dad, umm, did- were you and Grandpa, you know- did you do much together as a kid? Like, as father and son?”

“Well- aye, I suppose,” Paul replied with a shrug. “It was the late seventies, early eighties, there weren’t any smartphones, no internet, even the best videogame machines moved at, like, one frame per second… So, yeah, we went fishing together, went to matches at St James' Park, why- why do you ask?”

“Oh, it- it’s nothing, just curious,” Luke mumbled, his cheeks reddening as his father smiled.

“Feeling a bit like you’ve missed out?” Paul asked softly. “I get that, I mean, all the time I spent with Luk- with Lucy when h- she was younger, all the time you spent with ya mam… If ya want- if you want to, like, make up for lost time, when things start reopening, we can always, you know, go fishing or something.”

“That- that could be nice,” Luke said, forcing a smile on his face even as he was frustrated that he didn’t get an answer to what he really wanted to know about his father and grandfather but had been too afraid to ask. Luke found himself wanting to open up to his father and vice versa, but was confronted by the unavoidable thought that such a desire might be considered unmanly- which was the last thing that Luke wanted to feel following the previous day's confrontation.

While her father and brother talked, Lucy showered and pulled on a similar light dress to the one she'd worn the previous day, before applying a light layer of foundation, followed by some eyeliner and mascara- though even that subtle look felt like a full face mask to the young woman. When she returned to the living room, she discovered that her brother had returned to his bedroom, but her mother had returned and was unloading shopping in the kitchen.

“Need a hand?” Lucy asked her mother.

“Aye, please,” Sarah replied. “If ya can get the frozen stuff away first.”

“Sure,” Lucy mumbled, biting her lip as all the questions that she wanted to ask her mother raced around her mind- questions about how she felt now that Lucy was her daughter, not her son, and how she felt about Luke’s transition. Most of all, though, Lucy found herself wanting to ask her mother what she expected of Lucy- both as a daughter and a woman, and what advice she had for her new daughter. For as long as she could remember, Lucy had fantasised about being a woman, but when the fantasy became a reality, she found her life had only become more complicated. Lucy desperately wanted the support of her mother- but from her perspective, it seemed like her mother was only doing the bare minimum to support her daughter.

With the shopping put away, Lucy returned upstairs, where once again, she convened with her brother in his bedroom. Despite her own inner conflict, Lucy smiled sympathetically as she discovered Luke sprawled out his bed.

“You okay?” Lucy asked softly.

“Meh, better than I was yesterday evening,” Luke replied. “I dunno. Dad seems to be in complete denial about everything.”

“Yeah, mam too, but in a different way,” Lucy sighed. “I just wish I knew what they were REALLY thinking. Heh, maybe not to the same extent as Grandpa, but- yeah.”

“Can’t fault the old bastard for his honesty, at least,” Luke snorted. “Meh, but like you said yesterday, it- it’s done now, no sense being all paranoid about it. As for mam and dad, it- like, if the virus wasn’t messing everyone around, we’d be spending more time with Susie, Gav and everyone else, we probably wouldn’t be around them all the time, so- yeah.”

“Blame everything on covid?” Lucy asked with a chuckle.

“It’s what everyone else is doing,” Luke said with a tired chuckle. “Like I was just telling dad, I was really looking forward to meeting Priya’s friends in London this summer, but that ain’t happening now, heh.”

“Guess not,” Lucy said with a sad chuckle.

“Though I did send Priya a message to see if she fancies a group chat later, so- yeah, maybe,” Luke sighed. “Like dad said, internet chats are better than nothing, I guess.”

“He’s not wrong there,” Lucy mused. “And I- I suppose we’ve got to give him some credit, like, this can’t be easy for him but it’s obvious he’s, like, got our backs.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure we’re having a harder time of it than he is,” Luke snorted, before letting out a long, tired sigh. “Ugh, I dunno. Fancy some Call of Duty?”

“Nah, if I play any more videogames I think my hands will permanently claw up,” Lucy chuckled. “Might go for a run later if you feel like it?”

“Will let you know,” Luke replied, letting out a long sigh as he switched on his PlayStation 4 and started playing.

Less than an hour later, though, the twins’ mood changed when Luke received a reply from Priya to his earlier text message. Luke and Lucy both had wide, excited smiles on their faces as they booted up the former’s laptop and logged into Zoom, where they were quickly greeted by the smiling face of their Indian friend- and a nearly identical-looking face cuddling her from behind.

“Hi you two!” Priya said, before sighing with resignation as her lookalike planted herself in her lap and gave her another long, tight hug. “Luke, Lucy, this is my sister Suri, Suri, this is Luke and Lucy, please stop being a pain."

“Hi!” Suri said to the twins, who giggled and waved in reply. “Don’t mind me, I’m just getting in some Priya time before she heads back to the Arctic Circle.”

“The ‘Arctic Circle’ that’s actually south of where we normally live?” Luke replied, smirking as Suri giggled nervously. “Ah, it’s okay, I’m just pulling your leg.”

“Normally she’d be on her own laptop,” Priya explained, “but our parents are both furloughed so they’re wanting to cut down the electricity bill as much as possible.”

“Meh, understandable, I guess,” Lucy said. "Our dad's furloughed too, and he- yeah..." Lucy tried not to grimace as she remembered the previous day's confrontation, especially as she didn't want to burden her friends with the knowledge of what had happened.

“I’m going to add everyone else into the call now,” Priya said, smiling in an attempt to diffuse the tension. “Luke, just so you’re forewarned, this call might get a little girl heavy, heh!”

“Meh, I’m okay with that,” Luke replied. “You can never have too many friends, right?”

“Hell yeah!” Suri giggled as other faces filled the screen, including the one that Lucy was hoping to speak to the most.

“Hi girlies!” The gentle voice of Laura Ruddock said as her immaculately made-up face appeared on screen, making Lucy tingle with excitement at the prospect of talking to another girl in the same circumstances as her. As she smiled, though, Lucy suddenly felt a knot in her stomach.

While she’d seen pictures and videos of Laura before on places like Instagram or TikTok, Lucy had always viewed them in the context of having been staged, of having been a performance put on for the camera- she knew that Laura was a budding actress, after all. However, when she finally saw Laura in a natural, candid environment, Lucy was astonished by how effortlessly feminine she was. Had Lucy not known beforehand that Laura was transgender, she would never have suspected that Laura was anything other than 100% female, and the more she looked at the blonde girl’s face on her screen, the more inadequate Lucy felt. Unlike her, Laura didn’t have a wide, masculine chin, a bulky, muscular chest or even a prominent Adam’s apple. Lucy tried to console herself with the knowledge that Laura had been transitioning for almost seven years, while Lucy had yet to hit one year and hadn't even started HRT yet, but one question refused to leave her mind- ‘how am I ever meant to live up to this example?'.

“Everyone, I’d like you to meet Luke and Lucy, my friends from university!” Priya said with a wide grin as the twins nervously waves.

“Ah, so YOU’RE Luke and Lucy?” Laura asked with a giggle. “Finally, we get to chat, hehe!”

“Y- yep!” Lucy replied, giggling nervously as other faces joined the chat.

“Ah, about time, Miss Moore!” Priya teased one of the new faces, a girl with blonde pigtails and freckles, who sighed and rolled her eyes at the teasing.

“Yeah, well, some of us don’t break up for another week,” the newcomer retorted. “Who are the new faces?”

“Ashley, this is Luke and Lucy, the twins from Durham I told you about,” Priya replied, bringing a wide grin to the newcomer’s face.

“Ah, finally, I thought we’d never get to meet!” Ashley said with a giggle that Lucy tried her hardest to mirror.

Like with Laura, Lucy had learned much about Ashley from Priya’s stories and following her on Instagram and TikTok. And even though Ashley wasn’t a budding actress, Lucy had assumed that her social media 'appearance' had been as staged as Laura's- but her appearance on the video chat was just as effortlessly feminine as Laura’s, even though she’d been transitioning for less time. The fact that it was still more time than Lucy had been transitioning did little to ease her anxiety.

“It- it’s nice to meet you,” Lucy mumbled as her cheeks started to redden.

“And don’t worry, I’ve already explained to Luke that he’s probably going to be a bit outnumbered on this call, heh!” Priya giggled.

“I can always call up Ian, see if he’s free if you’d like?” Laura offered.

“Maybe- maybe later,” Luke chuckled. “Kinda, you know, want to get to know everyone first- but like I just said, you can never have too many friends, right?”

“Hell yeah!” One of the other girls on the call cheered, making both the twins grin as they were introduced to the wider group and vice versa.

The ten teenagers spent the next hour talking about their lives in Newcastle, London and at university in Durham. Eventually, other matters meant that the teenagers started to gradually drop off the call, eventually leaving just Lucy, Laura and Ashley. Lucy tried to maintain control of her anxiety as she conversed with her two fellow trans girls, but despite their friendliness, she still felt like the odd one out. Much to her frustration, she found that this feeling was even more profound than when she was the only trans girl in the room, like at her university's street dance class.

“Okay,” Laura said commandingly, her genuine smile widening. “Now that we’re alone, Lucy, feel free to ask any ‘sensitive’ questions you want, I promise me and Ash won’t be offended. Though before we begin, I just have one question- for you, Ash. WHY are you wearing purple lipstick, glittery eyeshadow and have your hair in pigtails?”

“Because one of my sisters is seven years old, another one is nine years old, they’re stuck indoors the same as us and have enough excess energy to light the whole of London for a month,” Ashley replied, before sharing a giggle with her friend. “Besides, I look K-Y-O-O-T cute, don’t I?”

“So cute,” Laura giggled. “Ah- sorry, Lucy, I just had to know, hehe!”

“No, that- that’s fair enough,” Lucy chuckled nervously. “Do- umm, do you have a lot of sisters then, Ashley?”

“Four, and one brother,” Ashley replied. “All younger, as well as seven and nine I’ve got another sister who’s fourteen, a brother who’s four and a baby sister who’s one.”

“And I’ve got an older brother who’s twenty-seven,” Laura interjected, “and a sister- well, technically stepsister but legally half-sister- who’s thirteen. How about you, Lucy? Any siblings other than Luke?”

“Umm, nope, just him,” Lucy replied with a smile.

“Ah, it must be cool, though, to have someone who can be THAT close to you?” Ashley asked. “And who knows what you’re going through, like, with your transition?”

“Well- yeah, I guess,” Lucy replied. “We sometimes say that we’re on the same journey, just heading in opposite directions.”

“Heh, I like that!” Laura giggled. “Kinda feel a bit guilty I’ve had such a, like, ‘head start’ on my journey now, as I’ve been transitioning since I was eleven.”

“It doesn’t matter when you make the journey, though,” Ashley mused. “Just that you make it. And you’re sure that it’s the right journey for you.”

“Which I know I’ve never doubted,” Laura said with a wistful smile. “Anyway, sorry Lucy, like I said, any questions about transitioning, no matter how sensitive, please ask.”

“This includes about SRS,” Ashley interjected. “Which Laura was meant to be having this year- right now in fact, heh.”

“Thank you very much co-bloody-vid,” Laura snorted.

“Yeah, I- I think I’m about as far from SRS as it’s possible to get,” Lucy chuckled. “I’m not even on hormones yet…”

“Really?” Ashley asked. “That- that does surprise me, like, ‘cause I’ve been taking them for over a year now and you- yeah. Wouldn’t be able to tell, honestly.”

“Th- thanks,” Lucy mumbled bashfully. “I think the make-up is doing most of the heavy lifting though, heh.”

“Umm, hello?” Ashley asked, gesturing to her own heavily made-up face before giggling. “Ah, doesn’t matter either way, heh. You know you’re a girl on the inside, so it doesn’t- or at the very least, shouldn’t matter what you look like on the outside.”

“Even if making the outside cute is always a LOT of fun,” Laura giggled. “Needless to say, if you need any fashion or make-up tips, we’re also here to help.”

“Including advice on, like, ‘tucking’, or hiding your Adam’s apple,” Ashley said, before grimacing as Lucy unconsciously lowered her chin to disguise her throat. “Oh- umm, not like, you know, yours is- well…”

“It- it’s okay,” Lucy said. “I mean, I’m 5’ 11”, I’ve got a rugby player's chest, I- I know I’m never going to, you know, ‘properly’ pass. Heh, I sometimes feel like a hippo at street dance, especially next to tiny girls like Priya and Claudia.”

“Okay, well, you know Megan, the girl with glasses who was on the call with us?” Laura retorted, waiting for Lucy to nod before continuing. “She’s three inches taller than you and has a 42-inch chest. Didn’t stop her from being great at ballet.”

“Or a gorgeous, feminine woman,” Ashley concurred. “Don’t ever think that you can’t make it, Lucy, or that it’s not worth the effort, because it is. This is a journey, but it’s not a race.”

“Totally,” Laura said, smiling sympathetically as her new friend chuckled, even though on the inside, Lucy was far from convinced. Despite Ashley's reassurance about transitioning not being a race, Lucy wondered if she'd ever get off the starting line...

Lucy spent the next twenty minutes taking Laura and Ashley up on their offer, peppering them with questions on all topics- HRT, advice on how to pass in public and even their experiences at their dance classes. With her head buzzing from the information she received, Lucy ended the call with a promise to stay in touch with the other girls, before heading downstairs to find her brother sat cross-legged on the sofa, browsing through his phone with a smile on his face.

“Hey Luce!” Luke said with a grin. “Good chat with Laura and Ashley?”

“Umm, yeah,” Lucy chuckled as she sat down next to her brother.

“I dunno about you, but I DEFINITELY needed that after yesterday, heh,” Luke chuckled. “Laura gave me a link to her friend Ian’s Facebook, I’ve already sent him a friend request, and he looks like a pretty cool guy from his Facebook wall. Hopefully I’ll get to chat to him next time- not that I minded being in a chat with eight girls, heh! Oh- sorry, NINE girls, heh. Well, eight girls and my sister, anyway!”

“Yeah,” Lucy giggled. “You- you’re looking, you know, happier than yesterday, like?”

“I’m definitely feeling happier,” Luke said. “I- I dunno. Maybe it’s because- and I don’t mean anything bad by this, I really don’t, but- but talking to someone else who trans, but other than you, like, has made me think that, you know, we’re not as ‘wrong’ as people like Grandma and Grandpa make us out to be? That, and you know that what Laura went through is, like, a million times worse than what we had to endure yesterday.”

“Well- I guess,” Lucy said. “Doesn’t make what happened yesterday and less unpleasant, though.”

“Oh, I agree, and I imagine Laura would as well,” Luke mused. “But still, you know? I just introduced myself to seven total strangers, said ‘I am a boy, end of story’, and they didn’t question it for one second. And you did the same thing, only replace ‘boy’ with ‘girl’, right?”

“Well- aye, that’s true,” Lucy replied with a giggle, and while she consciously agreed with her brother’s words, on the inside her confidence had been dented.

Despite Laura and Ashley’s assurances, Lucy knew that she would never be able to ‘pass’ as well as either of them- or even as well as her own brother. She tried to allay her fears by rationalising that she was yet to start HRT and that she'd undoubtedly feel better when she did, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that no matter how hard she tried, she would always be just a boy pretending to be a girl. The encounter with her grandparents had only strengthened that belief, and despite their best efforts, so had the talk with her new friends. Lucy tried to put her fears to the back of her mind- after all, she thought, she could wake up the following day feeling more eager than ever to be the girl she felt she was. And whatever she did, she’d do it together with her brother- always. At least, that's what she hoped…