Little did I realise when I set out for my daily challenge walk in the Scottish Highlands, that it would change my life.

i had been born and raised on the Scottish East Coast just outside Dundee, but my heart was in the Highlands on the high peaks of the Munros. The Munros are a collection of the highest peaks in Scotland, all over 3000 feet (approximately 900m) high, and many keen hikers take the challenge of walking or climbing up all 282 of them and there is even a website where you can register those that you have successfully mastered. Personally I do not do it for the challenge and don’t bother ticking them off the official list, but I do it for the sheer enjoyment of the awe-inspiring scenery and the peace and tranquility up on the peaks and tops.

Today I was walking up to Ben Cruachan on the way toto Oban in Argyll and Bute on the West coast. I set out at first light from the rail station at Falls of Cruachan and took the well defined path through the woods up to the dam holding back the reservoir serving the Cruachan hydro-power station which is buried underground at the base of the dam so as not to intrude too much on the natural beauty of the area. Instead of following the usual circular route up the West side of the reservoir, I turned right to walk up the rise up to my first Munro of the Day, Stob Darbh, with its fine views South-East down to Dalmally and the peaks beyond around Loch Lomond, It was a fine day and there was only a light mist haze up on the tops as I followed the ridge and climbed up to the peak of Ben Cruachan, at almost 3700ft (1126m ) the highest in the area. There were stunning views down to Loch Awe , the River Awe, and the Pass of Brander down in the Glen to the South, and over Loch Etive and Loch Linnhe towards the islands to the West. The views were well worth the effort of the climb, and i could see why it was one of the most popular of the Munros, particularly for beginners, it was not a particularly challenging or long route and it was just awe-inspiring up there.

As I was still feeling fresh and it was glorious afternoon, rather than take the usual route back down to the dam and the station I decided to go off the beaten track and head West to drop down to Brochroy , which, although a difficult and undefined route with some slippery steep slopes, I felt was within my capabilities as an experienced Munro walker. However on the final stretch down to Brockroy, I slipped on the loose scree and slid on my back for a few yards before getting back in control, but not before ending up in a small pool, Unfortunately when I tried to stand up there was a sharp pain in my ankle and it was obvious that I had twisted my ankle and I had a really bad sprain. I probably should have called out the mountain rescue team, but I was not too far from civilisation and decided to continue. Finding a broken tree branch to use as a makeshift crutch I managed to hobble down to the small hamlet of Inverawe about 1/4 mile away, but there was no way I would be able to make it to my proposed stop-over about 2 miles further on at Taynuilt.

I approached the first house I came to, a whitewashed stone-built crofters cottage in a small parcel of land, and was just about to knock on the door when a attractive middle-aged lady with the common fiery ginger hair of highland heritage came round from the back of the cottage, took one look at me and rushed over to help.

“You poor wee thing, what have you done to yourself, come on in and let me have a look at you, but before you sit down let me put a sheet on the settee, your back is filthy and wet.” and she led me into a bright cosy sitting room, which was warmed by the central heating from the wood-burning boiler and cooker range .

“I’m Jamie MacDougall, I’m from Invergowrie, near Dundee, I’m over here on a walking holiday and coming down from Ben Cruachan I thought I would be adventurous and come down the slopes directly to here instead of going back down the path to the railway station. Unfortunately I slipped and damaged my ankle, I wonder if you could call for an ambulance to take me into the nearest A&E hospital to let them have a look at me.”

“That wasn’t a good decision, there have been people badly injured coming down that route and if you had called out the rescue team you would not have been very popular. Whilst they will not criticise you to your face, people who take excessive risks are not in their good books. They are all volunteers who give up their time to help others, and don’t like their time being wasted by people they consider having not fully assessed the risks.

As a strange coincidence, I’m also a MacDougall, Susan MacDougall, but then it’s a common enough name around here. My car is in for a repair for a few days so I can’t take you. I could call an ambulance but you’ll have a long wait, or get you a taxi if you wish, but there’s no need. I trained as a nurse, I’ll have a look at your ankle for you, if that’s ok, to see if you need a hospital, but first we need to get you out of those filthy wet clothes, or you’ll have pneumonia as well as a sprained ankle. There’s a towelling bathrobe behind the bathroom door, get stripped and wash off any mud and grit and we’ll see what I can do. there is a stool in there so sit down so as not to further damage your ankle”

“Susan,” I called out a few minutes later, “I’ve got a problem. I can’t get my jeans off over my ankle it is too sore, would you mind helping me.”

“I see your problem, the bottom of your trousers are quite tight and if we try to force them over your swollen ankle it could cause further damage. Your trousers are ruined anyway from sliding down the scree, it will be easiest just to cut them away, OK ? Don’t worry, as a former nurse I am sure I’ll not see anything I’ve not seen before.”

A few minutes later I was sitting on her settee, cleaned up and wearing her dressing gown with my foot up on a padded stool, and she was having a good look at my foot.

“Can you move your foot? Yes, that’s good, It looks like nothing’s broken, it’s just a nasty sprain, let me clean it and bind it up.” Susan cleaned up and put cream on my various cuts and grazes, put a cold compress of a pack of frozen peas on my ankle to help reduce the swelling, and then bound it up tightly with an elastic bandage to keep it rigid. She made a really good job of it, her nursing experience really came to the fore.

“You will need to rest it for a week or two or three, depending on how bad it is, and not walk on it too much. Where are you staying ?”

“ I haven’t got anywhere booked, I came over on the train today and was going to book into a Hotel or B&B in Taynuilt.”

“It might be best if you stayed here in my spare room, at least for a few nights until you start to heal so I can keep a check on your ankle, and by then I should have my car back, and you can decide what you want to do.”

“If it is not too much trouble to you, that would be brilliant and so kind of you, I’m not sure that I’ll be able to help out anyhow, but I’ll try not to be too much bother.”

“Och, it’s no bother, I’ll be glad of the company. however you can’t sit around in just a dressing gown all night, have you got a change of clothes?”

“I only came for a long weekend, with one spare shirt and a spare pair of jeans in my backpack. The jeans are the same as the ones we have just destroyed so I wont be able to get them on and off easily either.” With that, Susan went into one of the other rooms and a few minutes later came back with some clothes in her arms.

“I couldn’t find any trousers that would comfortably fit you, I don’t have many and those I do have are quite tight fitting, and you are a bit bigger and stockier than me, but I found a tartan kilt skirt and woollen pullover top that should fit. The skirt is pleated and is almost like a kilt anyway, and the jumper is not too girly, do you think you could manage with them for a day or so. You didn’t say if you had any clean underwear, but if you are a typical man, you probably did not bring any spare with you, so there are a couple of pairs of my plain cotton briefs for you. Unless you have any better ideas, hobble next door to the bathroom and get freshened up and dressed with what I have found for you.”

Not having much choice, after getting cleaned up after walking the hills all day and having my fall, I got dressed in what she had given me and feeling a bit silly and embarrassed, I went back out.

“That wasn’t too hard was it, the clothes actually fit you quite well, and clothes are just clothes, it doesn’t matter whether they are men’s or women’s, and they actually suit you. Sit down we’ll have a cup of tea and you can tell me all about yourself.”

We sat and chatted and I gave her a potted history, 28 years old, only child, my parents passed away, single, working as a freelance web designer, mainly from home in my shared rented flat in Invergowrie, but occasionally in client’s offices, a bit of a computer geek with a not very active social life. The only time I felt at ease and in tune with the world was walking up on the tops of the hills. Like all men, I probably told her a lot more about my work, designing web sites for companies selling stuff by internet mail-order, than I did about my personal life, and in truth there was not much to tell about my personal life it was all pretty boring.

Susan told me she was 42, divorced and had reverted to her maiden name, no children, and since she left nursing was working as a travel writer, mainly for brochures, personalised to particular hotel and attractions, of the the sights and places of the West coast and the Islands. She frequently went on her travels to research and get the feel for the atmosphere of the the areas but spent most of her time at home in Inverawe. She had bought the cottage with the proceeds of her divorce settlement, and lived quite a simple life and managed to keep her head above water with the income from her writing. Between her travelling, her cynical opinion of men following an unpleasant divorce, and living in a small collection of houses that couldn’t really be classed as a village, her social life was as lacking as mine.

“If you have a distrust of men and are quite cynical about their attitudes, I’m especially grateful that you are letting me stay here.”

“At the moment you need me more than I need you and, besides, with that ankle I can run a lot faster than you.”

She had prepared a pot of vegetable and lamb broth earlier and we sat down with a big bowl of it served with chunks of fresh home-made Scofa Farls (soda bread) and I felt a lot better with a full stomach and a warm feeling inside.

Susan cleared up having told me to just rest my ankle, there would be plenty for me to do when I was more mobile, and then joined me. bringing a bottle of wine over and we sat and chatted until bedtime. I told her that I had researched my family history and that a few generations back some of my ancestors were from the Airds Bay area, about 4 miles away, and it was not impossible that we were loosely related. “Just for fun would you like me to check it out, I’ll get you a DNA kit from Ancestry and we can get it checked against mine.” Although it was a long shot and the same clan name in Scotland does not necessarily mean any blood relationship, merely at one time ancestors lived in the same area, she agreed to give it a try.

“ I assume that you didn’t bring any pyjamas with you and that you were proposing to just sleep in your underwear, like most men away on a casual weekend, but that won’t do here. Your body is still in a state of a shock and you need to keep warm. I have some pyjamas that will be ok, unless of course you would prefer a flannelette nightie” she said with a big grin. I was beginning to warm to her sense of humour.

Other than buttoning the wrong, having calf-length trouser legs, and being a soft cotton material with a forget-me-not pattern, the pyjamas were nothing to worry about and I hobbled to her spare bedroom, changed out of my skirt and jumper (my skirt ?) into the pyjamas and quickly dropped of to sleep after all the exertions of the day.

i was up bright and early the next morning, and, still in the pyjamas, managed to limp to the kitchen and put the kettle on for a coffee, boiled milk to make some porridge, and put some bread under the grill to toast, and set the table for breakfast. All the clatter from the kitchen and the cooking smells soon woke up Susan and she joined me in the kitchen.

“You’re earning your keep already, I can’t remember last time someone cooked me breakfast, but I told you not to put any weight on that ankle, let it recover and then you can cook for me as much as you like.”

Susan said she had lots of jobs to do outside, but that I couldn’t help her as I needed to rest my bad ankle, so I asked if I could use her computer while she was busy. After I got dressed in my skirt and top, she signed me in, I set up an account for my use, and logged her out to keep her files private, and checked my emails. I was surprised that for such an out-of-the-way place the network speeds were quite good, probably not good enough for gaming or video streaming, but perfectly adequate for emails and general internet use. I checked that I could access the ‘cloud” storage that I used for all my work files, and everything worked fine and I would be able to continue with my projects. To pass the time I also had a look at Susan’s web-site that she used for her travel guides and business advertising to find out a bit more about her and what she did.

“ Susan, did you get your website set up professionally or did you just do it yourself?”

“I just set it up myself, why?”

“The actual guide information is well written but, if you don’t mind me saying so, manoeuvring around the website is quite clumsy and isn’t too user-friendly. It’s quite good for a personal web site, but doesn’t have the right professional image. Would you like me to re-organise it for you? I can do it offline so it will not go live until you are happy with any changes, and of course there will be no charge, count it as me paying rent for my stay.”

That helped to fill my time over the next few days, along with carrying on with some of my other website projects, and although I was still not very mobile, none of my workload suffered. Susan was delighted with the changes I had made to her website, as well as making it generally slicker it also limited free information and encouraged people to follow up from the sample extracts and purchase the full guides. So as well as getting commission payments from the hotels and attractions she featured and who paid her to write the brochures , it also started bringing in more retail sales.

Susan had provided more clothes, skirts, tops and cardigans, most of it stuff that she didn’t wear anymore, as I needed to change every couple of days, and also a few slips to help the skirts sit better, and a full new pack of cotton briefs. I was now used to wearing her clothes and didn’t feel embarrassed or out-of-the-ordinary anymore, in fact I quite liked the feel of the softer materials.

Like a lot of computer geeks and web professionals. I wore my hair long in a low ponytail, it seemed to go with the territory, people half expected geeks to be a bit unconventional. I found that using Susan’s shampoo and conditioner gave it a lot more body and it looked much fuller and healthier, and overall I thought that with the hair and the clothes, I looked quite feminine.

When Susan’s car was returned by the garage, she asked if I wanted to leave and if I needed driven anywhere, but I was quite happy to stay where I was as my ankle was still very painful,,and I wouldn’t be able to get my spare jeans on, and she seemed pleased that I was staying. One day without thinking I answered a knock on the door, before Susan could get there first, and it was one of the neighbours, Maggie Campbell, with some post that had been delivered to their house by mistake. Luckily before I could speak, Susan appeared took the post and introduced me as her cousin Jamie, and that I would be staying with her for a while, as I had badly sprained my ankle coming down from the tops and couldn’t get about easily. In Scotland Jamie is quite common for either a boy’s name or a Girl’s name, so it was an easy choice to make.

A few days later Susan took a phone call and came over to me with a concerned look on her face.

“I’m going to have to go away for a few days to visit a few hotels and guest houses over on the Isle of Mull, will you be able to manage on your own? I am quite happy for you to stay here while I’m gone.”

“Thank you so much for trusting me, you’ve only known me a few days, I’m touched. I would really prefer to stay here, my ankle is still very sore and I can’t walk far, but I can get around the cottage ok.”

“There may be a problem, Maggie knows that I go away a lot, and keeps an eye on the cottage for me. Now she knows you are here I think she might pop over to see if things are ok. She has seen you wearing my clothes, and will obviously think you are a woman. I think it best that while you are staying here you continue as a woman, but if you want, when I am away I can get you some men’s trousers and shirts.You were wearing that chunky woollen top when she was here which hid the fact that you don’t have breasts, but in anything finer it will be obvious. I suggest that you wear a bra and I will sort something to fill it out, can you cope with that?”

i agreed with her that I would stay in female clothes until I left, I had a change of clothes that would get me home, and asked her to just get me another pair of trousers, but with a slightly wider leg fit. I was soon wearing one of her bras which she had filled with small bags of birdseed, which gave a quite realistic effect, with enough weight and flexibility to jiggle when I walked. The weight on my chest and shoulders from the bra straps felt uncomfortable at first, and I found I had to pull my shoulders back a bit so that my upper arms did not keep brushing against my ‘breasts’, but I soon got used to it and began to not notice. Susan also encouraged me to use a bit of makeup, although she didn’t use much herself, she said that no woman would dream of not wearing lipstick, even around the house, and that most girls my age felt the same about mascara.

So when Susan left for her trip, I was looking a quite passable female, wearing a light boat-neck summer top which clung tightly to my bust and waist, and a mid-length loose summer skirt. She had also brushed out my hair into a more feminine style with a pony tail held high with a scrunchie and the sides and back hanging loose over my ears and neck, and shown me how to apply a day-cream, moisturiser, lipstick, and mascara. It all felt a bit weird, I had never thought of wearing women’s clothes before, but out of convenience because of my sprained ankle, I had just fallen into a routine and felt perfectly comfortable presenting myself as a woman.

Before she went, Susan had been shopping for food provisions to keep me going, and when having breaks from working on the computer, I made some simple but tasty and nourishing meals for the freezer, Lasagne, Cottage Pie, Fish Pie, as well as the basics of bread, ginger cake and shortbread petticoat tails. I was quite pleased with my efforts, but I was a great believer in ‘If you can read and follow a recipe, you can cook’. It may not be cordon bleu, but it was all healthy, tasty, and wholesome.

As Susan had predicted, Maggie came up to see that I was managing ok, and I was glad of the extra efforts at making me appear female. I invited her in for a chat over tea and a slice of my cake and shortbread, and she was very impressed that I had made it all myself.

“ Too many of you young girls nowadays don’t learn to cook, their mothers don’t have the time to teach them and most aren’t interested in teaching themselves, it is too easy to buy ready-made stuff from the supermarkets. In fact, if you watch the TV cookery shows the boys seem to be taking over in the kitchen, it’s a shame, as preparing your own food can be very satisfying and rewarding.”

We had a long chat and asked me more about myself, where I was from, my family, and what I did for a living. Other than changing the gender I told her the truth as I felt that I was less likely to be caught out than if I made up a story. She told a lot about growing up in the village and stories about the area and some of the more colourful characters that had lived there and events that had occurred there over the centuries. I thought it a shame that, mainly due to TV, the world was now becoming a much more national and international place and that regional identities were not nearly as strong as they once were. I felt relaxed and enthralled listening to her tales and the time soon passed until she said she had to go home to prepare their evening dinner. I talked her into staying a bit longer so when she left she was carrying one of my Cottage Pies and some Scofa bread for her family evening dinner, with a promise to let me know what she thought of it all.

Whilst Susan was away, Maggie became a regular visitor. She had loved my Cottage Pie and shared that she had not made one for many years, but that she must start up again. She returned the compliment by bringing up a big pot of broth, full of barley, fresh vegetables, and chicken pieces, which would keep me going until Susan got back. I was pleasantly surprised that she just accepted me and treated me as a woman, and that I was convincing enough even when in close-up conversation. I couldn’t remember the last time I had a long conversation with anyone, other than about work, sport, or what had been on the news, and was enjoying my afternoon teas and chats with her and seeing a totally different perspective on life.

Susan soon returned, in a really happy mood. Her hotel visits had gone down well, and she had discovered new places to visit to add into her guides. She now needed to spend a few days recording her notes and updating her brochures, so for the next week I was chief housekeeper, preparing the meals and keeping the place tidy while she was working busily. She had told me that a few of the hotels were really impressed with her new website, and they had asked whether her cousin Jamie could look at and improve theirs, which I promised to follow up. I made a few calls, found out what was required, and got positive interest, and prepared and sent out a few quotations

I was glad to see her back, and had made a special effort to look presentable, it was strange that I felt the need, i would never have bothered before I came here . I had been experimenting with make-up while she was away, and had applied the full works to welcome her back, tidied up my hair and put a bit of a wave in it and had borrowed a lovely sky blue scooped neck sleeveless shift dress from her wardrobe. The slippers I still had to wear for my bad ankle didn’t exactly set of the outfit, but I was still not up to wearing shoes.

“You are looking particularly glamorous tonight, you make me feel dowdy. You seem to have really got into your role as a woman.”

While I was preparing and serving up one of my Lasagnes with salad and fresh focaccia herb bread, she went and freshened up, put on a dress for the first time since I had arrived, and glammed-up her makeup, and when she came into the kitchen she looked beautiful and if I could have walked comfortably and had not been dressed as I was, I could have jumped around the table to hug her.

Over dinner and wine, I told her about Maggie’s visits and Susan said that I had probably spoken to Maggie more in the last week than she had in the last couple of months. I told her about all the stories and folk tales that Maggie had related to me and suggested that she could maybe, as a change from her travel guides, weave all the tales into a story based on Inverawe and Brochroy and the surrounding area. She thought that that would be a pleasant change and arranged for Maggie to come over to see what she thought of the idea, and to repeat a lot of the tales directly to Susan, so that nothing got lost in my retelling.

My ankle, although not fully recovered, was now not nearly as painful, and I could get around a lot more easily, and I thought that it would soon be time for me to return to Invergowrie and my former life, which I was not particularly looking forward too. Rather than being a reclusive, unsociable computer geek with no close friends, I had now settled into an enjoyable life in the cottage at Inverawe with its beautiful views of the hills and the River Awe flowing though the glen, with a close relationship, albeit as effectively sisters, with Susan, and had learned how to form social bonds and relationships from my times with Maggie, I felt a much happier, more outgoing and more rounded person.

“ Susan, I think I have imposed on you long enough, my ankle is a lot better, I have been thinking that it’s time I went back home.”

“That’s an awful shame, I’ve got used to having you around, I’ve really enjoyed your company and having someone to chat to, why not stay for a while longer, after all ‘home is where the heart is’ and in the words of Rabbie Burns, ‘Wherever I wander, wherever I rove, The hills of the Highlands for ever I love.’ I think this is where you belong.”

“I think you may be right but I will have to seriously consider it. I need to go back to Invergowrie to sort things out with my flat and clear up a few personal matters, my head is up in the clouds at the moment and being back over there will help me get things clear. I would love to stay here but it would be a major change in my life,”

“Do what you have to do, there will always be a place here for you, my cousin Jamie can stay as long as she, or even he, likes.”

I went back to Invergowrie, settled in my flat and into the work routine, but I couldn’t get Inverawe and Susan out of my mind, I kept thinking back to how relaxed and contented I was there, and that I missed the company. A month later, having given up my flat, packed up what belongings were worth taking with me and given the rest to charity shops or into the local rubbish tip, I loaded my cases into the car and set off.

I had made an appointment with a hairdresser on the outskirts of Perth which was on my way West, and had told them that I was a man and I was going to a fancy dress party, and that I wanted to look convincing as a woman for the night. I’m sure that the hairdresser didn’t believe me, but she gave me the last appointment of the day when all her other customers had gone. I had my hair trimmed and styled, my eyebrows shaped, my nails trimmed and polished, and a professional makeup. What she thought of me I don’t know or particularly care, as I wouldn’t be going there again, but she did an excellent job and was very professional and she got a big tip.

Three-and-a-half hours later, having stopped off to get changed at a large service station on the Perth ring-road, I arrived at the cottage, with my hair hanging in waves over my shoulders, with full make-up, and wearing slim-line stretch denim jeans and a chunky woollen jumper and sling-back sandals. When she opened the door, Susan just beamed at me and gave me a big hug.

“ My god, you are looking gorgeous, I’m a bit jealous, get yourself in and you can tell me all about what you have been up to.”

We got my cases unloaded, and all my things hung up or put away. I hadn’t brought any male clothes with me, as far as I could see I wouldn’t need them for the immediate future. I had done a major shop at the stores in Dundee before I left, and, as I had taken some of Susan’s stuff back with me, I was able to shop freely, dressed up and made up, and try stuff on to make sure it fit and suited me and now had a full female wardrobe of my own from inside out and head to toes. I was also now wearing stuck on silicone breast-forms which looked, felt and moved almost like the real thing and left no doubt that I was now living as a woman.

I was now able to get about without any difficulty, although my ankle muscles still ached a bit, and was confident enough in my appearance and manner to visit some of the hotels Susan had lined up for me to review their web-sites and soon that replaced all my previous clients I had serviced from Dundee. As the hotels had on-line booking systems and constantly offered promotions and changed information about events, it was a steady business and I was soon making a comfortable living keeping them updated.

I was having an after-work drink and meal in the bar with the owner of one of the hotels on Mull and he told me that it made a change to deal with a computer wizard who could talk in proper English (or Scottish) and explain things in a way that he could understand, and not babble away in techno-speak and buzz-words and that it was a pleasure dealing with me. I was quite pleased with getting an order from him and enjoying his company, but over after-dinner drinks he started getting a bit ‘touchy-feely’, nothing major, just touches on the hands and arms and moving closer to me, but enough to make me feel uncomfortable. Before it could get to the stage where I would have to warn him off, I made my excuses, thanked him for the meal and his company, and left with a goodnight peck on the cheek. I’m sure he was disappointed, but he was the perfect gentleman, and behaved himself on future occasions.

When I got back to the cottage, I told Susan all about it, and she shrugged her shoulders and grinned.

“ Look, nothing happened, he didn’t grope you or touch you where he shouldn’t, it was just a bit of flirting. He is the same with me, but he is harmless really. What you have to realise, and you seem to have missed out on a lot of this in your sheltered life, is that men and women flirt with each other all the time, the charm and the smiles are just another way of keeping a happy working relationship and increasing the chances of getting your way in things. It is a game, you will have to learn to play it. As long as it doesn’t go beyond flirting, just go with it and enjoy it, and do the same back to your male clients. flirting and being friendly does not mean that you or they are looking for an intimate relationship.”

“Thanks for that, I was a bit worried, but what you have said makes sense, I will try to remember that in future. By the way, I got the results back from Ancestry, it seems we are related, 4 generations back, which makes us 3rd cousins, if you give me the name and birthdates of your parents I will try to link them back to my family tree which I have already researched back to the 1700s.” This seemed to please Susan too, as she too was a bit rootless.

It was a relatively easy exercise and I was quickly able to link the two branches of the family, and from my records give Susan her family history, where people had lived, their occupations (mainly crofters or craftsmen, no known aristocracy or famous people), their children’s details, and a few victorian-era photos. Although it was a bit of a loose connection between us, It did give us both a feeling of family ties which neither of us had in the current generations.

Susan had now finished her book incorporating Maggie’s stories, but including some others that had been passed down to her by her parents and grandparents, and asked me to read it through before trying to find a publisher. Rather than a dry history of the area, with a few folk tales, she had written it as a light-hearted, almost humorous, record tracing a family’s trials and tribulations over the generations, changing the names but generally following our own family tree through Scottish rebellions, clan power struggles, natural disasters, family joys and problems. I thought it was a delightful read which drew you into being part of the family, I suggested a few minor changes, most of which were expanding some of the stories rather than criticisms, and as a final check we invited Maggie over to see what she thought.

Although Maggie by marriage was a Campbell, traditionally neighbours, rivals and sometimes enemies of the MacDougall clan, she was a MacDougall by birth, as were many of the others in the villages nearby because this was their clan country, and she was quickly totally engrossed in the book. She recognised some of her stories but was amazed at the way that Susan had interpreted them into the history of the family and asked if she could have a copy if it was published.

Susan tried the company that published her travel guides, but they were not in the business of fiction novels, however they passed a copy on to a larger company, who immediately snapped it up, did a proof read and final edit, and ‘The Adventures of the MacDougalls of Taynuilt’ was soon on the shelves of the local bookshops libraries and schools. Before long it had travelled to the regional tourist spots of Oban, Loch Lomond, Fort William, Pitlochry and Stirling, and even down into Glasgow . It was selling well, not a major blockbuster but still a good commercial success, and the publishers asked if she could do a follow up.

For the next few weeks we went our separate ways doing research on the West coast islands from Islay in the South to Skye and Lewis and Harris in the North, talking to the old folks to get their stories before they got lost into the mists of time. Having been given the lecture by Susan on how to make people at ease by a bit of mild flirting and charm, I even managed to have a very
useful and informative discussion with my over-friendly hotel owner on Mull, only this time I played the touchy-feely game back at him and we enjoyed each others company a lot more. I was now totally at ease as a woman, and other than when I was in the shower or getting ready for bed, the fact that I was still male never crossed my mind, living as a female just came naturally to me.

Although I helped Susan with a lot of internet searching and filtering of information to get useful background to a lot of the stories we had heard, Susan was deeply engrossed most of the time in turning this into good readable material, so I found myself passing time chatting to Maggie and some of her friends she regularly got together with in each others homes for tea and cakes. At first I had difficulty getting into the easy way that they all talked to each other about every subject under the sun, and had particular problems with discussions about their personal life and medical problems, but soon learned to relax with them and began to think and discuss things with them much more openly.

“Susan is really up to date, well into writing and researching on her computer, and you Jamie are quite an expert we hear. Most of us have got left behind by the technology, and being so remote here it would be really useful to be able to use the internet and email, is there any chance that you could help us get started. They do classes in the library in Oban but it’s a bit of a drive, and I wouldn’t feel comfortable being lectured by someone I don’t know, and probably a patronising young man baffling me with computer-speak.” Maggie, as the spokesperson for the group, asked me at one of the get-togethers.

As a computer professional I was constantly upgrading my equipment, there was always something better, faster, more-flexible, better screen display, more memory etc, so I had a couple of old PCs and laptops, that, although out-of-date, were perfectly adequate for beginners, and I agreed to help.

For the first few sessions it was mainly teaching them the basics from how to connect them up, turn them on, the difference between different programs and filing systems, at first we just worked offline, using the computers as stand-alone machines . The girls soon got over their initial wariness and fear of the technology, and although not particularly well educated they were quite bright and quick to learn and soon wanted to get online to find the big world out there. At the cottage we had an excellent broadband link, but we didn’t want to disturb Susan’s writing, so we arranged for a connection at Maggie’s for them to have a few trial sessions to see whether they wanted to get their own homes connected.

After a few sessions investigating web sites and learning how to use search engines they were all soon connected themselves, online shopping, emailing friends and families, and I noticed the difference in their general confidence and approach to life and their awareness of what was happening in the world outside. People are often frightened of the unknown, but once they face their fears their lives can change.

Christmas soon came along, and I got Susan to join our computer group for a celebratory meal out at the big hotel in Taynuilt. we got glammed up for the evening out, rolled-up and set our hair, and applied dramatic evening make-up. Although most of my underwear was basic and practical this was a special night out so I wore my best sexiest lacy bra and pantie set, which gave me a deep warm feeling of contentment, and slipped into a new evening dress I had bought for the occasion, a gorgeous lavender soft flowing silky affair, with a tight bodice nipped at the waist with a full just-above-the-knee skirt. I felt so feminine and was never before so glad that I had decided to live as a woman. We had an excellent night out with the girls, super food, friendly company, and the hotel really gave us a lot of attention. I was shocked when the girls gave me a thank-you Christmas gift for all the help I had given them, they had pooled together to get me a matching set of diamond earrings and a pendant necklace, and when I immediately put them on I cried tears of joy.

I went to sleep that night trying to come to terms with my life, and what I wanted to do with it, and the next morning over breakfast I told Susan that I wanted to have a serious chat with her and asked her to put her writing aside for the morning.

“I really enjoyed myself last night and just felt at home as one of the girls, but I don’t want to go on living this false double life, I need to decide whether I can continue like this, go back to being a man or go forward to becoming a full woman, I am so confused. What makes it more difficult is my relationship with you, I love you, but I don’t know myself whether that is as a sister or as a partner in life.”

“ It’s your life, and only you can decide, I can’t advise you. If it helps, I am not looking for a man in my life, my marriage was not the best, and I do not intend to repeat it, no matter how nice the man appears to be. I now look on you as family and am happy for you to continue living here whatever you decide, although I do think that both of us are more comfortable and happy with you as you are. Don’t rush into things, you are still young and there is no hurry, you have a full life to live, and only you know what you want from it.”

I gave it a lot of thought and two weeks later made an appointment with our local doctor to talk through the process of transitioning, but she needed to refer me to a gender specialist and unfortunately I would have to go to either Glasgow or Inverness, both of them long tiring trips. Nonetheless, after long discussions with the specialist for my reasons to want to change, and how I had been living recently, It was agreed that we could start the process and I was given my shot of hormones which would gradually change my body, and a prescription for my daily androgen blocker and oestrogen tablets. Feeling excited and elated, but apprehensive about how it would all work out, I returned to the cottage in a bit of a daze.

Over the following months life went on whilst I eagerly awaited for changes to show. The mental changes came to me first, I became much more emotional and teary and was told that I was subject to mood swings. My body changes were slower to follow, but follow they did, my breasts started to grow and soon I didn’t need the forms anymore although I had slipped from an artificial C to a natural B, my waist slimmed and the fat redistributed to my buttocks and hips, my leg and arm muscles thinned, and I now had a definite womanly shape.

Susan soon had her next two books ready for the publishers, all written in a similar style ‘The family MacLeod of Harris’ and ‘The Times of the McLeans of Mull’. Each of the book covers was predominantly the associated clan tartan with a typical local scene of a cottage by a river with mountains in the background, and were quite distinguishable on the bookshelves. They were each directed at the local areas on which they were based, but soon followed ‘the MacDougalls of Taynuilt’ into the bigger cities and the series was even getting a bit of a cult following, particularly after they were listed on Amazon and Kindle.

In the summer there was to be ‘The International Clan MacDougall Gathering” at Dunollie Castle near Oban, and we thought it might be a good opportunity to do a bit of marketing for the books, particularly for “The adventures of the MacDougalls’ and we arranged to have a stall in the castle grounds. and for a stock of all the books from the publishers. It was a typical clan gathering with people coming from across Scotland, the rest of the UK and even from Canada and New Zealand. There were the normal highland games, a ceilidh, and lots of stalls selling clan memorabilia, tartan cloth, kilts, skirts, sashes, ties, waistcoats for both men and women, clasps and brooches and general mementos.

We entered into the spirit, wearing plain white dresses with a clan tartan sash adorned with a sprig of bell heather, the clan flower, pinned to our shoulders with a clan crest clasp, and enjoyed meeting fellow MacDougalls, some of whom were undoubtedly distant relations. Susan was kept busy doing book signing and sales, and I found time to display our joint family tree and sell my services to do similar research for many others. As well as being a successful few days. we relaxed in the evening at the ceilidhs, which started out as music and folksong sessions, but after a few whiskies livened up with traditional dances and reels, which we joined in enthusiastically and were never short of partners. I had been to many ceilidhs in the past but never had so much fun and eager participation as I felt at this one, but whether it was because I was with ‘My Ain Folk’, or because of more intense emotions now the hormones were really beginning to have an effect, I’m not really sure,

As a result of the marketing and book signing, all our stock of books were sold, and my sideline of research for family trees had also gone well, and and were invited to similar events for the MacLeods and the McLeans. We were beginning to be a successful business partnership as well as close family and my future was looking bright.

Six months later, i made the biggest decision my life and arranged for my gender re-assignment surgery. I had been living full-time as a woman for just over 2 years, my friends were all women, I looked spoke acted and reacted as a woman, and was the most content I had been in my life, so it wasn’t a hard choice. Susan held my hand as I was wheeled on a trolley into the operating theatre and was still holding my hand when I woke up in the recovery ward. The surgeon came to see me and said that everything went really well, and that once I had fully recovered, the pain had eased, and they were happy that there were no complications, that I could go home to live my life fully as the woman I was now completely.

When I was recovered and discharged, and Susan drove me home, my feelings were mixed. There was still a lot of pain, and it would be some time before I could sit comfortably again. What would people think if they found out about me, could I put up with being a figure of curiosity or gossip, would our friends and neighbours understand? I would be glad to get back into the safety of the cottage and close the door on the world.

We went in and I was shocked to see Maggie and the girls from the computer club, with a big banner ‘Welcome to our world, Sister Jamie’ and a cake with one candle and the words ‘Happy Birthday’. there were big hugs and kisses all round and I had to tell them to treat me gently as I was still sore.

“Susan, why did you have to tell them about me, I was hoping to keep it a secret and just get on with a normal life, now everybody knows about me and I am embarrassed.”

Maggie replied before Susan had a chance “We may be country folk but we’re not simple, we’ve known all along. The very first time I met you, you were obviously a man in a skirt, the way you looked, talked, and moved just screamed “Man” at me. However, you were pleasant enough and friendly and not doing anyone any harm, so I just went along with it, ‘Live and let live.’ has always been my motto. Gradually you began to look and act more like a woman and became totally believable and that’s when I decided to introduce you to the other girls, to let you learn how to socialise properly. After a few weeks when the girls had got to know you and accept you, I told them your secret, and they were shocked and surprised as by then you were just totally natural, but we were all comfortable to let you get on with your life the way you wanted to live it. Anyway, that’s enough of that, let’s all have a wee dram to celebrate your new birthday, here’s to a long and happy life”

The end