Today is going to be a “Girly day“ for me, my wife, Jacquie, is having one of her occasional lunches out with the girls, which gives me a chance to indulge in one of my hobbies. As long as I can remember I have I have had strong desires to dress in female clothes, and have whenever the opportunity arose, in secret, borrowed clothes from my mums wardrobe, or even from the occasional stopover guest. However this is all a close secret, I am so far in the closet that I am almost through its back wall.

Nowadays transgender behaviour is becoming at least tolerated, if not accepted, but in my formative years in the 50s and 60s it was almost unheard of and definitely would have meant being a social and even family outcast. I am from one of the industrial towns in the Northwest of England, where you are even considered gay if you do not like and follow one of the local football or rugby teams. Recently the TV and newspapers seem to be constantly reporting stories about young children and teenagers announcing that they have always known that they should have been born in a different body, or due to various circumstances people attending their job or living as the opposite gender. Everything seems to be much more fluid nowadays. However, I am digressing, let us return to my story.

My name is Colin Woodford, and my wife Jacquie and I live in a close in a small village just outside the historic city of York. We are both now retired and live a reasonably comfortable uneventful life - usually. Most of the neighbours immediately around us are of a similar age, and every so often get together for celebrations for birthdays, New Year and similar events. We are not “in each others faces” or constantly popping into each others houses, but are always ready to help each other when necessary.

As I said earlier Jacquie and a few of the other girls, or should I say women as most are in or approaching their seventies, often go out together for lunch at one of the local pubs or hotels, after which they go back to one of the houses for tea, cakes , a glass of wine and a good old natter. There are normally five of them: Margaret or Maggie, a very self assured and strong widow, who makes amazing cakes and cupcakes: Belinda or Lindy, recently retired and widowed and still coming to terms with not having had much opportunity to enjoy the retired life with her husband ; Irene or Rene, whose husband John is still working as he has has own business: and Rosalind or Ros, a very active gardener and another excellent cook and baker, whose husband Peter is also retired: and Jacquie my wife with whom I hope to spend a long and happy retirement, but unfortunately I have to keep separate from my alter-ego.

Their day out usually stretches to six or seven hours which gives me a chance to escape to my hobby. As we are all in our seventies or thereabouts, the days of lots of exotic clothes and make-up are long past, so this usually is limited to bra, panties, skirt, and top, with just a quick swipe of lippy and a light mascara. i never considered myself passable as at 5’9” and 165lbs I am too stocky to be convincing. You can trawl the internet and see all sorts of stories with happy contented endings and transformations into beautiful women, and what appear to be highly successful transition before-and-after photos and videos, but I am convinced that unfortunately life is not that easy.

Continuing the tale, I was having a relaxing coffee in the conservatory before getting dressed and began to doze in the warm afternoon sun. It was then time for my girly day and I went upstairs and quickly changed into bra, panties, skirt and top and added a bit of mascara and lipstick. I don’t make a particularly attractive woman and don’t go out in public, but at least I feel comfortable when on my own.
After a while, my peace was shattered by the shrill note of the phone. “Hi Colin, it’s Ros, can you come over immediately, Jacquie appears to have had a heart attack, the ambulances are all tied up at a major car crash site and can’t get here for about an hour, and I don’t think we can wait that long. We’ve all had a couple of glasses of wine so can’t drive.” I was in a panic, I couldn’t afford to wait as every minute counts, but I was so afraid of my secret being made public, but there was only one choice really.

I grabbed my keys, locked up, got into the car and drove across the road to Ros’s and rushed to the door. Ros quickly opened the door and a look of astonishment crossed her face. “I haven’t got time to explain, I’ll talk later, let’s just get Jacquie into the car and get to the hospital. Can one of you come with me, as I can see all sorts of problems with me dressed like this. Lindy who used to be a Nurse was selected to come with me, so we jumped into the car and rushed to the hospital. Jacquie was in a lot of pain and quite drowsy drifting in and out of awareness. On the way Lindy told me as much as she could about Jacquie’s heart attack and said she thought it was quite a severe one, so she thought I’d done the right thing in not wasting time getting changed. We phoned ahead to the hospital so that when we arrived a medical team was waiting to rush Jacquie into the emergency room. It was all a bit of a blur, with people rushing around looking extremely concerned, Jacquie lying on the bed with all sorts of tubes and wires hanging off her. I was so worried that I forgot about my appearance, and all my thoughts were about how much I loved and needed my wife.

Eventually the nurses told Lindy and me, very politely, that we were in the way, and to go to the waiting area outside. I was asked if, because of my appearance, I would prefer a private waiting room, and it suddenly hit me what I had done and what people must think of me, I couldn’t bring myself to reply. Luckily I had Lindy with me, and she went into her former nurse mode, and made all the arrangements with the medical team.

When we were alone Lindy looked at me sympathetically, “you were brilliant and very brave to do what you did, and just rush over, the nurses told me that another few minutes would have made all the difference. Don't be too embarrassed about your appearance , nurses and doctors see things like this all the time, men coming in wearing ladies underwear, or even “tucked”, or well presented women who turn out to be men, After the first time you come across it and get over the shock, you don’t really register it and just get on with your job, although you are one of the last people I would’ve expected, you always appear to be “macho-man”. “I’m sorry, I am so confused and worried at the moment, can we talk about this later”, I replied

We were interrupted by a doctor coming in, and I was pleased to see that his expression was not too severe which gave me hope. “The good news is that you got here just in time and that we now have Jacquie stable. She is heavily sedated and will remain so for at least 24 hours, we find that this keeps down physical and mental stress levels and helps recovery in the long term. You can wait by her bedside if you wish, but there is nothing you can do here, and quite frankly you will be in the way. I suggest that you go home and come back tomorrow, please go to the nurses station and provide contact details and we will phone you immediately if there is anything to report. I hope you don’t mind me saying but to save you any further embarrassment and comments from people in the waiting area, i have asked one of the nurses to go and get you one of the wigs we loan to people losing their hair due to cancer treatment, it will help to get you out without bother.”

Tenn minutes later, after Lindy fitted and tidied the wig, gave my face a light coat of foundation and refreshed my lippy, we made our way back to the car without anyone screaming “tranny” or anything similar and set off for home. As we neared our village Lindy asked whether I wanted to just go straight home, and she would go back to Ros’s and let the others know how Jacquie was doing. However I felt I had to face the music sometime and it would be easier to get it over and done with, and pulled into our drive and cautiously walked over to Ros’s to face my nightmare.

On entering they all looked a bit shocked to see me, but mainly because they had expected me to stay at the hospital rather than face them. “ before you all start with why’s and what’s, let me tell you that Jacquie is stable and they think they have her problems under control, I’ll be going back in tomorrow and will keep you all informed of how she is doing. I am sorry if, dressed like this, i have shocked you all and will understand if you want me to leave for you to gossip and talk behind my back”.

“ Don’t be so silly “replied Maggie quickly, “you rushed over with no thought for yourself and the situation you put yourself in, you probably made the difference between us losing and keeping a good friend, and the least we can do is sit and talk this through over a glass of wine or cup of tea and we still have most of our delicious buffet tea left, please stay and join us”, the others all echoed her kind words.

“Now we are settled do you want to tell us, as you called it, the whys and the what’s, you are amongst friends and we all promise to treat you with respect and consideration. However as this is a girls’ day and you are wearing a skirt and have boobs, we can’t keep calling you Colin, do you have another name you would like us to use”

“ I have never been out like this and nobody has ever seen me dressed, including Jacquie, so the need for a name has never come up, but I have always liked the name Alison, or Ally if you prefer. To save you asking questions which might embarrass you or me, let me just give you a few of the basics, and please, this is hard for me so the less interruptions the better. I have had desires to wear female clothes as long as i can remember, one of my earliest memories is at about 4 or 5 years old, I was alone in my Gran’s house for some reason and generally nosing about. For some reason I looked into her chest of drawers and came across all her “frillies” tried on one of her slips as a dress and danced and pranced around before stuffing it back into the drawer., i think that sowed the seeds in my mind Nothing much happened until a couple of years later, when my auntie and cousin moved into my Grans old house next door and one day my cousin was playing with a cut-out doll’s dress-up game and i joined in with her and spent an hour or so putting different outfits on the dolls and generally chatting with cousin Helen. Most of my boyhood was normal, football, tree-climbing, rough-and-tumble and not much happened regarding TG other than the occasional dress-up in my mum’s clothes when nobody was in the house. All was quiet for the next few years until I auditioned for a part in our school play, I would love to tell you that I got one of the glamorous female roles ( it was a boys-only school ), but I didn’t, however seeing other boys dressed up brought my tranvestite tendencies to the fore. Over the next few years I dabbled with dressing, a few times I even went and bought some underwear, tights and a skirt (dont forget this was in the days of personal service is shops, before the era of self serve racks and tills). My late teenage years were pretty normal, nights out with the lads, football, drinking, dating, and the dressing faded into the background. I met Jacquie, fell in love and got married, but suddenly having cupboards full of female clothes readily available was too much of a temptation, and whenever the opportunity arose and I was alone in the house I indulged my hobby. This continued on a casual infrequent secret basis , and now here I am. I don’t know why I have these feelings, it is just something within me, I feel calmer when I am dressed. Jacquie does not know about my hobby and I would prefer to keep it that way, but I can’t stop you feeding the village gossip-mongers. I have been honest with you and would hope that we can keep this between us, but I will understand if you feel you need to tell others.”

“Oh Ally” said Lindy “on the way and in the hospital it was obvious that you deeply love Jacquie and care more about her than yourself. It was so brave of you, and to come back here and face us rather than skulking away back to your house, it shows more spirit and strength than a lot of supposedly macho men. I for one will be delighted to stay as your friend, either as Colin or as Alison, and I will keep this a secret, come and give me a hug”. With a lot of “that goes for me too”we were all suddenly in a group hug crying laughing and generally absorbed in each others mood.

“Well girls” said our hostess Ros, “now we know that Jacquie should be all right and we’ve sorted out Ally’s worries should we get back to our afternoon tea, obviously Ally we’d be delighted for you to stay, join in the chat, and have a bit of group girly experience.” The tea was delicious, home-made sponge cakes, fruit tarts, muffins, and sandwiches, Maggie and Ros had excelled themselves. I really enjoyed the company, it helped me de-stress. At first I was self-conscious and sat quietly listening to the others, but was gradually brought into the conversations until I was contributing as much as anyone, although I did find it difficult keeping up with the several seemingly different topics all being spoken about at the same time.

Eventually it was time to break up and go back to our own homes, particularly as John and Peter were due back soon and we all thought it best if they were not let into our secret. As we said good-byes and I thanked them all for their understanding tolerance and hospitality, the question came up and rocked me “ are we going to have your company again Ally, you’ll be more than welcome”. “I have felt really comfortable with you all today, but I honestly think it best if I say no, at least until we get Jacquie sorted out and things settle down again”

I spent a lot of time over the next few weeks visiting Jacquie in the hospital (and returning the borrowed wig) and getting her settled back in at home and did not really get to see any of the neighbours to talk to in depth, so did not know whether it was all just the emotions of the day or if they were genuinely comfortable with me. A couple of times I saw Maggie and Ros when we were out gardening, but other than asking after Jacquie’s health and general chat, the subject of my dressing was not brought up and I began to realise that I could rely on their discretion. Jacquie never brought up the trip to the hospital or how I was dressed at the time, and I assumed that her pain and drowsiness had just cut that bit from her memory.

One day I had a call from Lindy asking if it was ok to pop over for a chat with Jacquie to cheer her up and I gladly told her that she would be very welcome and that it would lift Jacquie's spirits. I kept out of the way and went into the garden to give them a bit of space. After a while I went in to get a glass of juice and caught a bit of conversation that I was dreading.

“You know Lindy that my memories of the day of my heart attack are a bit fuzzy, but I vaguely recall you being with me when we got to the hospital, is that right, do I have you to thank for getting me there in time and saving my life”

“It was my pleasure, I did help to get you there.”

“What do you mean help? Were one of the other girls with you, because I would really like to thank you both properly”

“ Yes, none of us could drive as we all had a few glasses of wine, so we asked Alison to drive us to the hospital”

“ Now you mention it, I recall another woman in the car and in the room, but cannot picture her, who is Alison? Why did you have to ask a stranger for help, couldn’t you have asked Colin, he was only just over the road ?”

Lindy took a deep breath and considered how to reply. “ I promised not to say anything, but the truth is that you know Alison as Colin, and that you owe your life to his unselfish and brave actions and his deep love for you.” Lindy then told Jacquie my story as best she knew it, and Jacquie just sat there quietly taking it all in without interrupting. She also told how I went back to Ros’s to face them all rather than running away and hiding from them, how my tale was received and how I was welcomed into the group for the afternoon.
“Thank you so much Lindy, I appreciate your honesty but I am not sure I can deal with this at the moment, thanks for coming over, but I would appreciate some time to myself to take this all in, I’ll call you later”

A bit later I decided I had to face the music, and went back in to Jacquie. “I overheard you and Lindy earlier, and will understand if you want to rant and rave at me, but I did what I had to do at the time and getting you to hospital was a lot more important than a bit of embarrassment. I’m sorry if you are shocked and disgusted, but I never meant to hurt you, and promise that you will never hear of Alison again.”

“ I don’t know why but I would like to meet Alison to thank her for saving my life, i am still in a bit of a whirl about all this, but really appreciate what you did, which only deepens my love and respect for you. Give me a hug and then go and get us both a cup of tea.”

Over the next few weeks we had a lot of deep discussions as to my TG experiences over the years and came to an understanding that Alison would be shut in the closet most of the time but would be allowed out on occasions. Jacquie still wasn’t too sure of how comfortable she was with all this but didn’t make a big issue of it and rarely mentioned it.

Life went on very much as before, little changed, the neighbours kept their promise until a few weeks later I answered the phone.

“Hi Colin, it’s Rene, could i speak to Jacquie, it is my birthday next week and we will be having one of our get-togethers, I want to know if she would like to come, If she’s up to it.”

I passed over the phone and left them to have a long girly chat. When i returned Jacquie said “ we’re having a get-together next Wednesday, I said I would love to go, and Rene asked whether Alison would like to go too” After I recovered from the shock, and checked that Jacquie was ok with it I agreed to go, and she phoned back to confirm that it would be both of us.

The next few days was hectic, all the normal feminine preparations were needed, but more so: shopping for an outfit, shoes, and some underwear as Jacquie insisted I needed my own, not hers; a decent wig as my own hair was short and thinning; some make -up essentials as my colouring and Jacquie’s were totally different; shaving and moisturising all over to try to make my skin passable. I could provide all the details, but I’m sure you are all aware of what we have to go through.

On the Tuesday, I was dressed, made-up and trying to get into girl mode for tomorrow’s day out when Maggie called “is that Colin or Alison? “ she asked ,as I was also practising my Ally voice. ”It’s Alison today, i’m trying to get into character.” “That’s good, it’s Ally I wanted to talk to. At previous do’s we’ve heard all about your tasty cooking and how you enjoy baking. Can you throw a few things together for us to add to the buffet tomorrow, a Victoria Sponge, some shortbread and some small bread rolls would be great if you can manage that”

I really enjoy baking, even in Colin mode, so got down to it right away, and the way I was dressed and made-up and working in the kitchen as Ally really lifted my spirits. Fortunately everything came out right first time, the cake, biscuits and bread were all suitably dusted and packed away and I was able to relax and look forward to tomorrow.

Wednesday morning was a bit hectic, as two women getting showered, made up and dressed do tend to get in each others way. However, at 12:00 I was ready, wearing my new skirt and top, subtly made up by the very experienced Jacquie, carrying the food and a bottle of Prosecco and knocking on Maggie’s door “Jacquie it’s so good that you are out and about agin and looking so well. Ally its super to see you again are you ready to face the world, just relax you have nothing to worry about, you look delightful and will easily be accepted as one of the girls”

The others soon arrived and other than “I love the way you look today” no special comments were made and I was just one of the group. We had a lovely lunch out at one of the local inns with views out over the nearby river. The meal was delicious, The company was great, none of the other clientele or staff stared at me or made comments, and I just blended into the group, even my Alison voice did not seem to be out of the ordinary. We went back to Maggie’s, had a relaxing hour or so chatting over a glass of Prosecco, before it came time to start the buffet. There was a small cottage pie and lasagne to start along with my bread rolls, before we came to the cakes and pastries and my main contribution, the Victoria sponge, filled with home-made raspberry jam and fresh whipped cream. This went down really well and I received lots of compliments about my baking skills. We went home delighted, having enjoyed the company the food, the chat, and with invitations for Ally to come again next time.

Later in the year, it was time for the “village show” which is a typical village event, food and produce stalls, flower arrangement and home baking competitions, children’s pet shows etc. Ros called to say that her and Maggie were going to enter a few of their baking specialities and suggested that Ally should enter her Victoria Sponge cake as it was one of the better ones they had ever had, including high tea served at some very upmarket hotels. Colin duly got to work, made a couple just in case they were not quite right, picked, filled, dusted and packed the cake and went to enter it for the competition, deciding to enter the name on the entry form as Alison, more in hope than expectation of a prize.

“ Ladies and gentlemen we come to the final prize, for the best sponge cake. It was a close run thing, but the winner is………….Alison Woodford, will she please come forward to receive her prize” announced the President of the local WI who was the chief judge. Ros explained that I’d had to go elsewhere but could be along later if that was ok. The judge said that was fine , that she would be around for the rest of the day and would be delighted to meet Alison later.

A quick phone call from Ros, and her and Maggie were on the way to help me get ready. Cleaned, shaved all over, made-up, be-wigged and dressed, Ally was soon ready to face her next big challenge, and Lindy, Ros, Maggie, and Jacquie joined her in the arena at the show.

“ Ladies and Gentlemen, earlier the winner of the sponge cake competition was not able to be here to receive her prize, she is now with us and I would like her to come forward” announced the Judge. “I can honestly say that after all my years judging at the village show and at the WI competitions, hers was one of the tastiest cakes I have ever had, and I would be delighted if she will to one of our WI meetings to demonstrate what makes her cake so special”

“Thank you ever so much, I much appreciate your kind words, and will be delighted to come to speak at one of your meetings. I would also like to thank my good friends Maggie, Lindy, Rene, Sue and especially Jacquie for encouraging me to enter and for their support in life” It was not a significant cash prize, but the appreciation and recognition is the main thing.

After such an eventful day, we went back to our house, had a glass of wine to celebrate a happy and successful day, and the girls went back to their homes. Jacquie went off to do things leaving me to wallow in all the amazing things that had happened recently. Full of self satisfaction and with the help of the glass of wine I began to doze.

I was sharply awakened by the phone, “ Hi Colin, it’s Jacquie, we’re all leaving and I need a hand to bring back some of the food that’s still left, can you come over”. I suddenly came to my senses realised I was still dressed in my normal Colin clothes, that none of the events had really happened, and that it had all been a vivid fantasy dream. Never mind, it’s back deep into the closet again , and I can always dream, and the best thing is that Jacquie’s health is still perfect !

The end.