Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 2514

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The Daily Dormouse.
(aka Bike, est. 2007)
Part 2514
by Angharad

Copyright© 2014 Angharad

  
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As I motored towards Chichester a trip which would only take about forty minutes plus whatever time it took the sat-nav to find the yacht club, I mused on meeting with Esmond Herbert again. I thought about the note he’d sent Tom about me, where he seemed to understand my situation more than he ever let on to me. I suppose he couldn’t say very much in case he was accused of encouraging me. That he knew of Tom’s daughter and his reference to it in that note tended to suggest he would have had no problem with it. I could have transitioned at Sussex—damn, I wasted about three or four years.

Oh bugger, looks like an accident up ahead—just what I needed. The traffic crawled to a standstill, if not stood to a crawlstill. I put on the handbrake and waited for signs of movement.

Of course I hadn’t wasted anytime really, because I’d never have got a first if I’d been dealing with the stress of transitioning and I might not have met Stella or Simon or even Tom; my life would have taken an entirely different path and despite a good degree I could have been stacking shelves in Tesco not sitting in a luxury car with a luxurious husband and lifestyle—ha ha, but it could be if I wanted it so. The truth was that I didn’t. I wasn’t a lady of the manor type and as a scientist and teacher, I felt justified in having a career, even if it had moved faster than I’d have planned or wanted. If the girls had been a bit older, it might have been easier—though they might have been just as vulnerable at university. My phone peeped and the traffic was stationary. I checked the text it was from Esmond to say he’d heard the traffic was bad and to get there when I could. I replied telling him I was stuck in the middle of it.

I wondered what Trish would do for a career. I was awaiting a response from the mathematics and physics department to see if they could assess her abilities and perhaps meet them with accelerated learning. She was bored with her peer age schooling, she was special and needed special stimuli or would become disruptive or depressed. She can understand basic calculus at nine, I couldn’t at nineteen which might say more about my earlier teachers, especially the maths ones.

I like to think I’m probably a bit above average intelligence and so should be able to cope with mathematics—not to A-level, I suspect I’d be bored—but to just below it, so I could cope with all the stuff I currently need Simon to advise me on. He did A-level maths.

A horn beeped behind me and the traffic moved about fifty yards and stopped again. I looked at the clock on the dashboard. It was a quarter to one, I was going to be late. I had the local news on the radio it mentioned something about a car driver killing a motorcyclist a few months ago when he realised he’d forgotten his shopping list and pulled into a layby on the A354 then attempted to do a U-turn—on a busy road, the one between Dorchester and Weymouth. He obviously didn’t see the motorcyclist.

We crept past the accident site, it looked like a car had gone under a lorry and three lanes filtered into one with the gawping of drivers slowing things down even more. I arrived at the yacht club at quarter past one and after checking my hair and makeup in the vanity mirror on the back of the sun-visor, I tidied both and gave myself a little squirt of Coco before pulling on my coat and walking as quickly as I could towards the clubhouse.

“Can I help you, madam?” asked a man just inside the door.

“I’m due to meet with Professor Herbert.”

He glanced at a list, “Could I have your name, madam?”

“I’m not sure which he has down there.”

“How many do you have, madam?”

I pretended to count on my fingers. His expression was priceless. “Two, my married name and my maiden name.”

“I see.”

“It could be Watts or Cameron.”

“I have Watts down here.”

“Fine, in which case I’m Professor Cathy Watts.”

“Professor—you look far too young to be a professor.”

“Perhaps I’m older than I look,” I’ve probably aged two years trying to get into this place.

“I doubt it, madam, please sign the visitor’s book and I’ll have someone lead you to his table.” At last. I signed it as Lady Catherine Cameron. He glanced at it and his demeanour changed a fraction. “Any relation to the Camerons who own High St Banks?”

“A distant relative to Henry—he lives in Hampstead, I’m closer to his son, he lives with me.”

“You’re his—um sister?”

“No that’s Lady Stella, my sister in law.”

“Sorry, you’ve lost me.”

“Simon is my husband.”

“Oh I see.” He blushed, “I’m a bit slow today.”

“Perhaps the colder weather.”

He shrugged but summoned a waiter to take me to Esmond’s table. “Please take Lady Cameron to Professor Herbert’s table.”

The younger man nodded and escorted me across the room to a table overlooking the harbour. Esmond stood up and taking my hand kissed it, “Cathy you become more beautiful by the day.”

“Esmond, you need to see your occulist.”

“I am mortally wounded, madam, you cast my compliments aside like autumn leaves.”

“I perhaps do, Sir, but your compliments have a far richer pedigree in the bovine manure department than autumn leaves.”

“I am undone,” he said and I glanced at his flies, “Not there,” he said bursting into laughter.

“Shall we forego the dramatics and eat, I’m starving?” I said hoping to sit down and see the famous menu and hopefully taste some of it if he ever stopped talking.

“But of course.”

I seated myself and was handed a menu. I refused a glass of wine and ordered a soda with lime instead. I began to scan the menu. There were no prices—who’s paying? I wondered. Did I have a card with me if we shared or I got the tab. I did, so that relieved one form of stress.

I opted for melon for my starter and venison pie for my main course. “Ah, good ol’ road kill special,” joked Esmond.

“I thought that was badger mince or flaked pheasant,” I responded and unfortunately he’d just taken a sip of his martini...

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Comments

Road Kill

littlerocksilver's picture

How many Aggies does it take to eat a possum? Three: two have to look out for traffic. What would be an equivalent in England to eat a dead hedgehog? Hang in there Cathy. You're going to do just fine.

Portia

Peasants are revolting

Greetings

It's many a long year since I've eaten pheasant. Not even road kill, a genuine specimen that had been shot.

Brian

Unfortunately?

or just Cathy's typical timing?

Getting stuck in traffic. Sadly a lot of that going around. I was stuck on the interstate on Saturday... I could see the tower of smoke, and occasionally the flames from half a mile away. (Tanker truck, dump truck and at least one auto... Surprisingly few, to be honest.) But, we were parked for at least 3 hours. (I was parked a bit longer, as my car stalled, and didn't want to restart until I got a jump.)

Interesting discussion... I've only been to one restaurant that didn't have prices... (& I probably SHOULD have left when I saw that.) The food was good and luckily there was an "expense" paying for it, and I guess I'd been a "really good girl" recently... The boss approved the expense! (It would really have hurt the purse had he not. Oy.)

Thanks,
Annette

Another excellent chapter.

I won't dwell too much on road kill but around our way it tends to be sheep on the unfenced mountain roads. Best season is late spring to early summer when the lambs are fattest and still young and tender!

Still lovin' it (the stories that is - not the sheep) Bev.

bev_1.jpg

I actually have eaten road kill ...

I was near Nanyuki, Kenya, about two miles from the Equator and stopped at a roadside restaurant. The broken bones and taste of rubber were the clues. It actually was not bad if I closed my eyes and thought of England.

Khadijah

I have a while to go

Im only on part 230..... I really wish I was cought up....


It's well worth the trip

littlerocksilver's picture

I didn't start reading until several years after the beginning. I enjoyed every second of the catch-up.

Portia

It takes me about a week to

It takes me about a week to catch up, and that's at over 900 WPM.


I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.

Roadkill, properly tenderized

Roadkill, properly tenderized by two or four tires passing over it. Yummmm. The proper tool to use for getting it off the road is a wide blade metal snow shovel, then you can use it as the pan for cooking over the open camp fire or grill.
A recent trip I took, I counted over 50 deer road killed between Salt Lake City, Utah and Lincoln, Nebraska on Interstate 80. Very sad, because the meat can not be harvested by law, due to no-one knowing exactly when the animal/s were killed; as rarely does it get reported unless major damage is done to the vehicle responsible.

I had roadkill rabbit once

Podracer's picture

- I had to go back and stop it struggling first (didn't hit it) much on compassionate grounds. Then thought "waste not, want not".
Spirit glasses? I read it as "you need to see your occultist" at first and thought Cathy was being extra witty or obscure. Even the second time. Perhaps I need glasses!

You can pick up roadside meat here, er, caveat eater, but only if you didn't hit it yourself. I was inches from a deer a few weeks ago, my little car has effective brakes.

"Reach for the sun."

Hpw Not to Handle Riad Kill

Many years ago I had a Pheasant fly in front of my car on a country road. It went under the car and it all happened so fast I could never have avoided it. I stopped, got out and walked back to see if it was dead, thinking it would be crueller to leave it injured and in pain than to put it out of its misery if badly hurt. It was not moving at all, so obviously was dead. I considered how it would make a meal at least so I picked it up and put it on the rubber mat on the floor of the car on the co-pilot side. and started the car to continue my journey.

It was not until I reached the middle of the town of Ware, before it suddenly came back to life. and began to flutter about inside the car, beating me with its wings, clawing at my hands and pecking me in the face. Furiously I struggled to let it out, winding down the windows of the car. It flew out and fell immediately under a bus and was squashed flat, rendering the remains no longer appetising or identifiable as a cock pheasant, The traffic wanted to flow again so I continued my journey to work.

Moral? If you hit a pheasant on a country lane, drive on. Don't stop to pick it up.

My scratches were painful and took more than a week to heal.

Briar

Your Wicked Sense of Humour !

Oh Angharad,

the end of that chapter was so funny. You can do the most surprising things,

Briar

I have eaten hedgehog ...

... and it tastes "a little like chicken". We wrapped it in clay, baked it and then split the clay ball open, which pulled the skin off the meat. And your mention of shot pheasant reminds me of the story of my Uncle, a South Coast butcher (in Sussex!!!) pre- during and post WW2.
One day he had two brace of pigeons hanging in the shop window, and Madam Hoity-Toity came in, shrilly declaring: "Mr. G! I haven't seen pigeon for AGES! Where were they shot?"
Apparently "Right up the bum" was NOT the correct answer.
Thanks yet again Ang.

For someone

who when she first married Simon was more than a little reluctant to use her new title, Cathy has certainly changed, Loved the way she used it in this episode when the man at the door was asking for her name, Somethings in british life never change and flashing a title always seems to open otherwise closed doors.

No real roadkill stories here although in my job on the post office i did see plenty of dead pheasants and rabbits, Someone did once tell me that if you were the person who killed a bird or animal then it was illegal to pick it up as that would be considered poaching,Although it was okay if you were the car following One day i may well check it out to see if they were pulling my leg!

Kirri

In Defence of Road Kill..

persephone's picture

Unlike a shot pheasant you are unlikely to lose a filling to a shotgun pellet.

(She says, still bitter about a certain dentist's bill… and to add insult to injury the pheasant meat was over cooked and dry!)

Persephone

Non sum qualis eram

You have to watch out for the

You have to watch out for the gravel.

(bunny burger, ground round!)


I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.