Diva Dismayed: Chapter 23 – Exposure

The official photos of the fashion show were delivered to the salon after a few days and each of us models and the dressers were given sample prints from the evening. I sent some of mine to my mother with the extra pay which I’d earned by taking part. When I called her, she protested against accepting any of it, but I explained that I’d only done the fashion show to help pay off the debt to Madeleine. I was careful to call it our debt. My contribution was then reluctantly accepted. I told her that there would be more to come and ended the call before she had time to object. I’d just formed a plan!

That evening I broached the same subject with Rachel and as I expected, she wasn’t at all happy with my proposed course of action. I intended to take Walt up on his offer of modelling work.

“Well, I’m glad you’ve told me before committing yourself, but do you really think this is wise? You will be putting yourself in a very vulnerable situation. You don’t know these men and can’t guess what they may be capable of. You’re so young. If your mom got to know what you’re intending to do, she would be horrified.”

“Oh, please don’t tell her! Although, actually, when I come to think of it I don’t know how she would be. There have been times in the past when she has put me into the most embarrassing predicaments. However, I guess you’re right and she probably wouldn’t approve. But… I really feel bad over her having to pay Madeleine back for the expense of the wedding. I’ve got to do something more. I promise I’ll be careful, and I’ll make sure you know where I will be and what I’ll be doing all the time. Please say it’s okay!”

“Well… Okay, I guess, though I’m not sure I will always be able to come with you.

“Well. I guess I could ask someone else.” I hazarded.

“No. Of course, I’ll go with you. Anyway, who would you ask? Harvey?” Rachel bridled.

“No. I wasn’t thinking of Harvey. Or anyone?” Who was to take care of me was clearly a sensitive area for my friend. “I want you to be there.”

“That’s okay, then!”

She came over and held me close.

“You know, I won’t dare tell your mother that I had even an inkling that you’re doing this, so if she finds out, I know nothing!”
I knew she was joking, but in reality the truth was too close for comfort.

Glad that my guardian angel was on side, accordingly I made the phone call. I held the receiver so she could hear what was said.

The party on the end of the line answered straightaway. “Hullo. Walt speaking. Who is this?”

Nervously I said who I was and explained that I was interested in doing some photographic modelling as he’d suggested.

He sounded delighted. “Good girl. You’re going to be great. With your looks, I’ll have your name in lights in no time, just you see. What about Thursday evening?”

That wasn’t quite what I needed to hear. I tried to pin Walter down to what exactly would be involved and, almost as importantly, how much money I’d get. I was happy with the answer on the second point. It seemed I could earn nearly as much in one evening as in a week at the salon. He was evasive about the first question, talking about building my portfolio, whatever that meant. Any clear idea about what sort of modelling I would be doing was hard to establish and what I would be expected to wear was left quite vague. However, he conceded that my friend was welcome to accompany me to the sessions and once that had been settled, Rachel and I both felt considerably more at ease.

In these last weeks, I’d seen hardly anything of Harvey. A few days after the fashion show, I bumped into him on the stairs, literally. I was descending from Rachel’s room carrying an armful of books and my schoolbag when I heard someone exiting the bathroom above to return to their apartment. Guessing that it might be Della, and not wanting to be caught in a lengthy conversation just then, I sped down the flight as quietly as I could. I was feeling uncomfortable about avoiding her so glanced over my shoulder to check if she’d seen me. I wanted to avoid being thought unfriendly. At that moment my precipitate descent was arrested by a violent collision with a man’s body, running in the opposite direction. Whoever it was cannot have been looking where he was going either. My bag fell to the floor and my books went everywhere.

“Gosh! Jennifer! Sorry!” exclaimed the cause of my downfall, who turned out to be Harvey himself.

“Oh no, it was my fault” I gasped as I sprawled on the floor with my skirt up somewhere around my hips. The youth goggled while I hastily tried to regain a semblance of modesty.

“No, it was mine” he insisted, belatedly averting his eyes and helping me up. His grip on my arm was firm and protective. Why did he always make me feel like a real girl?

“Let’s go Dutch on the blame for this one” I quipped as I retrieved my belongings. “We neither of us were paying attention if truth be told.”

“Agreed!” Harvey laughed. Then he hesitated. “Er… talking of going Dutch, I’ve been looking for a chance to ask you. When are we going to have another date?”

This was a question I’d been dreading. I felt bad about the idea of hurting Harvey, as I guessed I was about to. I liked him a lot. In the way of a friend, of course. Okay, there might have been a physical attraction in there too somewhere, feelings that I wanted to dismiss as being due to my hormones running riot, but that attraction was one thing I was anxious to keep under wraps.

“Harvey, there’s something I should tell you. You know, I think of you as a really good friend, probably the best male friend I have…”

The guy winced. “But...”

I tried to smile. “But not more than that. I’m sorry.” Now I felt really miserable, when I saw how unconvincing the attempt he made to hide his disappointment was.

“Nothing to be sorry about. We’re good.” It was cheerfully said, and I so wanted to give him a hug for his bravery, but I somehow restrained myself. An embrace would undo all that my previous words had done to keep us on the footing we should be on. To hold myself to my purpose I had to remind myself that I was doing this because of the wondrous relationship I had with Rachel.

“Anyway… I hear that you’re now a fashion model.” His statement caught me off guard. I didn’t realise that he knew?

“That must be quite something. I guess I shouldn’t have expected to be able to date a model.”

“Harvey, that isn’t how it is at all. The modelling thing was just a one off.”

“Oh. Aren’t you about to do some photographic work too. I may have got that wrong, but from what Alice said…”

“Alice?” I had shared my plans with the girl on our walk to college only that morning.

“Yes. Was she wrong?”

“Well, no. I did get asked to do a bit of photo modelling and I thought I might give it a try, but I’m not really a model. I just need to earn some extra cash to help my mom out.”

“Your mom?”

“It’s a long story, and I wouldn’t tell everyone about it but as you’re a… close friend, I’ll tell you, if you would like to know. When you’re free, of course.”

“I’m free right now.”

“Okay, great. Come into my humble dwelling then and I’ll make us a coffee.”

I reasoned that it would be best to get this over with, so led the way into my room. I put down my books and sat the boy down in the easy chair.

While I bustled about, Harvey was looking about him. “Nice and cosy, this little place of yours. Very nice. It feels like a home.”

“Why thank you, kind sir” I laughed. “I like it.” However, he had rather a wistful expression on his face which made me anxious to divert the conversation.

When I was seated opposite him, I began. “Do you remember what I was wearing the day I got here. You saw me in the parking lot when I arrived with Rachel.”

“How could I forget!” he exclaimed. There was more feeling in his voice than I wanted to hear. My dismay must have shown in my face and he apologised. “Sorry, yes. If I didn’t know better, I’d have said it was something like a bridal dress.”

“It was a wedding dress. Back home, I was to have been married that morning. I was under a lot of pressure to wed someone who was much older than me, and whom I was really unsure about and in the end… I took the coward’s way out and ran away.

He sprang to my defence indignantly. “I guess that was the only course left for you to take. You did the right thing!”

Then, “Gosh!” His eyes were wide in disbelief. “You know, Jennifer, I’ve never met anyone who has led such an interesting life as you.”

If he only knew!

I carried on with my tale. “Well, my mother was so embarrassed that she felt she had to offer to pay for the wedding expenses that the person I was to marry had incurred, and they took her up on that offer. The long and short of it is that she’s deeply in debt and it’s partly my fault. This modelling work will help me put things right. Although Mom hasn’t always made things easy for me, she’s still my mom. I can’t turn my back on her completely.”

“Like I said, you are one in a million.” Harvey’s expression was one of open admiration.

I blushed to the roots of my hair at this praise but shook my head. “It’s what anyone would do, that’s all.”

My would-be admirer remained unconvinced. I needed to change the subject.

“So, you’ve met Alice?”

“That’s right. She seems a nice kid.”

The ‘kid’ under discussion was two years my senior! “Well naturally. She hails from the same state as I do, one town along!”

“Naturally.” A lengthy pause followed, then. “This modelling you’re going to be doing. Who’s the photographer?”

I mentioned the name.

“Can’t say I’ve heard of him. Are you sure he’s okay?”

“I think so.” I couldn’t speak with any confidence. I actually thought that the guy seemed a bit creepy but didn’t want to get Harvey all fired up again. “I’m taking Rachel with me, to be on the safe side.”

“That’s good, but if she can’t make it for any reason, I’m your man. Just say the word.”

“Thanks. That’s really kind.”

“It’s what friends are for, right?”

“Right!”

Another awkward pause ensued. I was out of ideas and eventually it was Harvey who broke the silence. “I gotta go, I’m afraid. Things to do. People to see.”

He rose from the chair. I got up too and before I knew it, we were hugging. The embrace caught me off guard and became more prolonged than a leave-taking hug strictly should have. It felt so nice to be in his arms and I started to feel all tingly. Fortunately, the thought occurred to me that, were Rachel to walk in on us, my compromising position would be hard to explain. That galvanised me into taking control and easing myself away from him, although against all my inclination.

When I was alone again, I wondered how it was that my body seemed to have a mind of its own where Harvey was concerned. I even reconsidered whether I ought to do some matchmaking between the youth and Alice after all. It might be safer to have him neatly paired up after all!

My first photo shoot took place on the evening arranged and all went well. I chose a sober jacket and skirt to wear for it. Under Rachel’s watchful eye, Walt behaved like a perfect gentleman. His studio was a large room furnished with a number of different backdrops in separate corners. The photographer seemed to know exactly what he was about. He set up several different cameras and played with mood lighting, as he termed it, while he posed me for a series of portrait shots.

Once I was positioned as desired, he used an instant camera to confirm the result before taking the real exposure. In the days before digital photography, film was expensive. At the end of the session, he presented me with these discarded snapshots. I had to admit that I looked pretty good. He too was apparently pleased with the night’s results and arranged a further evening the following week with the instruction. “Wear somethin’ nice next time.”

“Nice?” Rachel and I exchanged meaningful glances.

“You know. Evening dress or somethin’.”

That was tricky. How would I cope with that request, given the small problem of my complete lack of evening wear. Next day at the salon I went to see my employer to try and remedy this. After explaining the reason for my need I asked Mrs Millward if I might perhaps borrow a full-length gown. She was cautious in her response, wanting to hear all the details first. The ultimate decision was favourable, however.

“I’m glad you’re not taking this photo work on unchaperoned. A pretty girl like you can’t be too careful. Let me see. I believe there was a gown that got damaged in transit and didn’t make it to the fashion show. I can’t sell it or return it to the supplier. That would probably fit you, with perhaps a pin here or there. Would you like to see if that one would work?”

Accordingly, for my second photo session I took the borrowed evening gown. There were shoes to match. Even though they were a size too large, they would be okay for the camera, and I’d borrowed some trinkets to complete what I hoped was a sophisticated look. Wearing all the bling gave me confidence. Once I’d changed and emerged from behind the screen the photographer seemed impressed too. He got down to work straightaway and the shoot was soon completed. Rachel had been busy that evening so had merely given me a ride to the studio and left me there. She returned to take me home at the end of the evening.

We were both pleased to see that Walt was sticking to his side of our arrangement. Before I left he handed me an envelope with the agreed cash in it. It felt very satisfying to know I would be able to help Mom out, even though so far, the amount I’d earned wasn’t very large. This wasn’t the ‘real money’ he had talked about, which had been the lure which had led me on. Apparently, there was more to getting that than I’d realised.

“See honey. I can probably sell some of these pics to a couple of magazines that give me work but that’s going to give you no more than cab fare. The real money you can make is with an advertising contract. If you can wait a few weeks, I’ll have circulated your portfolio. Then you’ll see.”

I had to resign myself to wait.

Patience!