Okay, so last night I dreamed I was back in school, and we were going to be taught ballroom dancing.

But when it came time to partner up, I was left without one, and I got so angry at the realization I was never going to be anybody's choice, I yelled at the teacher, and then took a table that was bolted to the floor, ripped it out, and threw it, Hulk style.

Still accepting all hugs, prayers, and comments of support.

so, two things happened to me last night. the first was I had a dream where I was trying to get back to my apartment, and somehow kept ending up on the wrong floor.

Second was I woke up, my clock said it was 8, and for a second, I couldn't figure out if it was 8 AM or PM.

It could be worse, but a little confusion isnt a fun way to start the day.

while the term Triggered has been co-opted, I can think of no other word to describe what happened to me today.

I was doing laundry, and reading a book, when a particular passage in it set off memories of what happened to me as a child.

It took me a while, but I managed to get through it.

That said, I am accepting all hugs right now.

My entry in the Halloween story contest is up!

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/104039/i-am-worried-a...

there has not been an official announcement of the winners of the caption contest. I know I didnt win, but maybe there should be a shout out to the ones who did?

So I went swimming today, and while in the pool, I found myself thinking about 2 moments from my childhood.

The first involved a time when I was high school, I was curious about the name for the pants worn by Madonna (they were Capri pants, in case you were wondering) and had asked a gaggle of girls, when one growled at me and asked if I wanted to know so I could buy a pair to wear.

I was taken aback by her anger, because I didnt know why at the time.

I want to talk about choices for a moment.

See, I dont really trust myself, so when faced with decisions, I tend to turtle and try and avoid the situation. Of course, not choosing is in fact making a choice, and can have consequences.

But there is a more subtle way this works for me, and that happens if someone is offering me advice on the choice.

I find myself wanting to just hand the choice over to them, so I dont have to deal with it.

So last night, I had a radically different dream.

After having some adventures driving down a steep hill and then trying to find a way back up, I found myself outside a school. One of the teachers came and took me to the office, saying they needed to enroll me.

Now here was the really interesting part.

I told them I did not belong to that reality, so I could not be enrolled.

The office had a large computer, and at first agreed I did not belong in that reality, but then it glitched, and said that I now belonged there, so the teachers enrolled me.

So apparently, we are not done with repercussions for the Move that Wasn't.

See, back when we were sure we were moving, my mom put a stop on automatic withdrawals from our current landlord, which was supposed to start at the end of September.

Then we didn't move and asked the bank to restart the automatic withdrawals again.

But then, our landlord called us and said they were unable to withdraw September's rent.

So we went to the bank, and discovered that not only had the stop had been applied to September, the restart we had asked for had not happened.

I have been looking for positives about The Move That Wasn't, and I think I found one.

See, for years, one of the shelves on my bookcase was not right, because it was missing a support piece in one corner. I always meant to get around to fixing it, but never did, mostly because I didn't know where I would put the books.

Well, once I had boxed all my books for the move, I finally fixed it, finding a replacement for the supporting piece.

So, I guess that is a positive, right?

So I managed to snap a support strut on my bed. You add a broken computer chair, a broken recliner, and a car that needs an overhaul, I could use to win a lottery.

If the universe would stop beating me up for a bit, that would be great.

Huggles appreciated, as always.

my entry in the caption contest is up! please leave kudos and comments!

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/103539/manikin-man-i-can

So today was a high stress day. First, we had to get up early so we could take my aunt shopping, and then Sharon called, and asked us to help her get her laundry done as her machine is broken,

We got through that, despite the heat, then Sharon wanted to go to a restaurant on the other side of town, so we made our way there, only for Sharon to cause an issue with our server. so we left without getting food. So back across town to get her and Sam some food, drop them off at home, and finally head home ourselves.

So I have been having more issues with my walk.

Now, I have always walked weird, because my knees are slightly pointing away from each other, making me walk like I was moseying into town after a week of riding a fat horse. But lately, it seems like it has gotten worse, as my right foot is not only pointing further away from straight, I am now walking on the side of my foot.

The other leg is a little straighter, but it's also the one with more issues with arthritis, which causes problems on that side as well.

new story up:

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/103169/girl-with-red-...