Or maybe I’m just being maudlin. More likely it’s just the bottom of my cycle and I’m being hormonal.
I find myself losing friends slowly, apparently destined to be the last one. Consigned to turn out the lights and lock the door on my way out.
Am I no better than the legendary albatross? Losing friends simply by making friends? Am I no better than a modern day red death? Killing people by the simple act of getting to know them?
This evening I saw several posts looking for authors or members who have not been seen on here of late, and it reminded me of the post I saw some little time ago asking about Elsbeth, who happens to be one of my favorite authors. She, like many others seems to have dropped out of sight.
And it made me think about one of my most special friends, Denise Trask. I am ashamed to say that I have been so busy lately, and so buried in my own issues, that I have not thought of her in some time.
Now that many of us are six or more weeks into our new, and hopefully temporary, normal of social distancing and lockdowns, I wanted to make an observation.
I’m trying to find a story based in the Whateley Universe in which a teenage boy is exposed to nannites while on a school field trip to a top secret lab, and then while playing an RPG on his computer he runs into Fay’s alter ego and is killed while trying to save her in the game. The nannites are somehow activated, mutating him into his role playing character, a female elf, who also happens to have an affinity for electronic devices, as well as retaining her stealth abilities from the RPG, and some pretty well enhanced combat abilities from the nannites as well.
So my wife was tested yesterday, and the results came back this afternoon - she tested positive for Covid-19. That makes my two sons and I ”Presumptive Positive” as well. No big shock there as both of my sons and my wife all had the same symptoms - low grade fever, muscle and joint aches, severe headache, abdominal pains and diarrhea, as well as loss of sense of smell and taste.
Well, luckily, I don’t really have a fever - just a case of cabin fever, so to speak.
So both of my sons have been through a two or three day cycle of low grade fever - around 100.3F for both of them. But both are back to normal now, and feeling better. The youngest, who started first is doing really well. His brother, my oldest, is about two days behind him and says he is still feeling a little run down.
So, my 25 year old son - our youngest - starting running a fever of 100.3 last night. It’s just a low grade fever, plus he is achey and tired, but he definitely is sick. Now it could be Covid-19, or it could be the flu, or something else. We had to call it in to Public Health, but all we can do is feed him Tylenol (Paracetamol for those of you across the pond), force fluids, feed him, and keep him warm.
Last Friday, a woman who works in the same building as my spouse decided to go into work with a fever of 103F. She stopped into my spouse’s office for a few minutes to use the postage meter, before returning to her desk in another part of the building. She was later sent home, and then tested by Public Health for Covid-19.
We found out about her being tested a few days ago.
I have developed a habit over the years of watching the news, well actually listening to it, while I am getting ready for work in the morning. As I am usually in a hotel room during the week, I generally select whatever local network station is easiest to find (excepting Fox of course - I would rather poke myself in the eye with a sharp stick!), but it does allow me to at least keep up on a little bit of what happened overnight in the world.
I just wanted to wish all of my friends here a very Happy New Year, and best wishes for 2020.
This was my fourth holiday season since going full time as my true self, and the best yet. Whether because I have become more natural and comfortable in myself, and hence more passable, or because the public around me is simply becoming more accepting, I can’t say. Perhaps a little of both?
In this current political and social climate, where it seems that belittling and denigrating certain groups within our society has gained a certain amount of acceptance and legitimacy, let us stop and take a moment to reflect.
As one who has served, I perhaps have a somewhat different perspective than specific members of our government in Washington, D.C. - those who not only have not served, but who's efforts to avoid service are well documented.
Last week, while at work, I ducked out of my office and over to the employee cafeteria - you know, sometimes you just need a few minutes away from your desk and the computer in order to save your sanity. So I decided to get a fresh cup of coffee from the cafeteria.
Several years ago, I was truly blessed to stumble upon a work of art called Easy as Falling Off a Bike. Over the next several weeks, I binged on it - reading more story with my every free moment, going short on sleep, and in the process getting to know the author, a very special woman whom I like to think of as a friend.
As is true every year, Memorial Day weekend was not easy for me. Those of us who have served, those of us who have lost friends and comrades, those of us who have known loss - we will never forget.
But there are certain times certain things that spur our memories. This weekend was one of those for me. It is not just a time for remembrance, but a time for caring. A time for me to think of those who I have lost, and to think of those they left behind.
First, let me state that I am more than slightly disappointed by the response to my previous blog. I posted here in the hopes of possibly finding someone who might be interested in sharing a home - someone who could perhaps benefit from my situation by the fact that I truly don’t need them to contribute financially and they would be able to share a nice home without it becoming a major financial burden. My take away from this would be that it would help to prevent me from falling into the trap of enforced solitude that I have known before. Nothing more, nothing less.
It’s been a while since I posted here, probably because my life has been fairly stable and reasonably happy for some time. But like all good things, it didn’t last. I know I should have expected it, but I guess I became too comfortable. I became complacent in my comfortable existence and allowed myself to be taken by surprise.
Well, shortly after going to bed tonight, my lovely wife dropped the boom on me.
I for one have much to be thankful for - family and friends most of all. Those of us who have transitioned know just how incredible it is to realize that someone can really love you no matter who you are or how you present yourself to the world.
I wake up every morning astonished at the fact that my family and many of my friends are still here with me. My life is truly blessed in many ways - why, I have no reason. But I am truly thankful for all that I have.
This past Saturday afternoon, my Inbound freight manager, a beautiful woman by the name of Dana, and I boarded a plane in Charlotte, NC, headed for Phoenix, AZ. Beyond our good timing at escaping the bizarre ritualistic festival surrounding Billy Graham’s funeral in Charlotte, we were headed to Phoenix for the annual RILA gathering which was scheduled there this year
Yeah, it may be warm and sunny outside, but here in my world it’s just another dreary, rainy day.
I had a really good weekend last weekend, spending five days at home in Upstate NY with my wife and family. My wife Emilia and I spent several really good days together - nothing special, just some shopping, riding in the car, a few quiet meals with just the two of us, just talking and enjoying being together. I surprised her with a Valentine’s Day gift early as I knew I wouldn’t be home on the 14th, and she actually bought me a little something in return on Saturday.
Today was the first day of my new job. I recently accepted a position as Director of Transportation for Belk Stores, which those of you who live in the Southeast US may recognize. I spent about half of my day in orientation, completing paperwork, and meeting people. The other half I spent discussing the position and the direction they are looking to go. I sincerely love my boss! He has basically given me Carte Blanche to do what I want as long as I get them their numbers.
Or actually, I perused several stories on Amazon as I was looking for something new which might peak my interest. In the course of doing this, I came across multiple stories about cuckolding and forced feminization, both of which hold little interest for me.
But they did make me think about my own life and relationships as the evening wore on - mostly about my relationship with my spouse.
My son sent this to me this evening. I was hesitant to post this, but as it made me smile and even laugh a little on a really bad day I thought I would share it with others.
To those who might not agree with the political sentiment, I hope that you can at least see the humor in it.
It seems like every day I wake up and look outside the sky is grey and rain is falling. I remember when I used to love to walk in the rain, back when my life was simpler. It was a good way to be alone - no one bothered me and no one could see my tears.
Now I can't even cry in the shower without someone saying something.....
I have been fighting depression for weeks now - just the usual things, still not settled on a new job (the problem with being senior management is that finding an appropriate position takes time - especially as this is the first time I have interviewed since transitioning), and of course there is the never ending issues with family. I'm not saying that my spouse and children are not supportive - they have in fact been very supportive this past year, but life for them has been impacted by my transition. And of course, what hurts them hurts me - deeply.
Sometime last evening, I read a new chapter of A Longer War by Cyclist.
This has proven to be one of my favorite stories, and many of the chapters have had a serious impact on me - especially the early ones. As the story progressed, it continued to stir my emotions and sentiments - although for different reasons. But this latest chapter, lake many of the early ones, has stricken a particular chord within me.
My son's fiancé sent me a text earlier today, which although not unheard of is at least unusual enough to catch my eye.
She sent me a short note that said, "Just want you to know that you inspire me. Love you!"
I cried when I read it, and I am crying now as I type this.
She reminded me of something. Today is Transgender Day of Visibility, and although most of us just want to live our lives quietly and peacefully, attracting as little attention as possible, please help those you can to understand who you are - who we are.
Checks can be made out & sent to:
Joyce Melton
1001 Third St.
Space 80
Calimesa, CA 92320
USA
Note: $6000 is the operating, maintenance and upgrade budget. Amounts received in excess of the $6000 will be applied to long term debt accrued over the last 19 years.
