This story is dedicated to all the survivors of child abuse, both physical and emotional. May you find the support and strength to deal with it like I did.

 

Andersonville 3 - The Price of Revenge
by Kelly Davidson
Copyright 2001

 

Fade in...

Linda Anderson - the do anything wonder woman. That's what the job title should have read. Not that I was good at everything I did; I was just expected to do everything around the office. That included making coffee, filing folders, scheduling appointments, and now fixing expensive computers. I had placed my favorite music CD into the slot of my computer and the darn thing had decided it wasn't going to give it back. So I did what any normal person would do, I kept hitting the release button while cussing with rage. Strange as it may sound, that didn't work. So now I was resorting to more drastic measures by using a screwdriver.

June Herns had mysteriously excused herself from my presence about 15 minutes before. I didn't think about it too much, I was busy using my interpretation of the Jaws of Life on the CD unit. Just as I was getting ready to jab the screwdriver into the slot I saw the reason for her hurried exit.

"Judge Jasper?" I gasped in surprise at the sight of the man standing in front of my desk. I recovered quickly. "What can I do for you Judge."

"Please come with me Miss Anderson." I was in shock, he had actually been civil to me by using the word 'please' and in a rather cordial tone.

"What do you need from me Your Honor?" I felt it was better to remain polite than be rude and piss him off. He wasn't the type of person you wanted to get on the bad side of, although I already was.

"My daughter would like to meet and have lunch with you in the park. She already has everything set up." He gave me a warm, thin smile that caused me to become a little nervous. This wasn't the same person I had worked for just a few weeks ago.

I grabbed my purse and followed him out to the park. There, underneath a large tree, was a picnic table covered with sandwiches and other types of delights. An attractive young woman, maybe 23 or 24, was waiting for us. She had long, blonde hair that was tied up in a ponytail making her appear even younger. But in her crystal-blue eyes I could see signs of disdain, as if she was angered at the sight of me standing there.

"So you're Linda," she spatted out my name with vermin.

"And you are?" I asked in a somewhat neutral tone. It was clear this meeting wasn't going to be a pleasant one.

"Diane," she replied as if I should have known her name. Then she added, "Gerald's older sister."

So now I knew why I was here. She wanted to confront me, to tell me what kind of bitch she thought I was. Well fine, I was ready for her. Let the bitch give me her best shot.

"Having Gerald as a brother is not my problem," I responded defiantly. I looked squarely at the judge to see what his reaction was but if he had one he hid it well. "Do you also have something to say to me?" I asked him.

Judge Jasper surprised me by giving me an almost sad, sympathetic look. "This is between my daughter and you - I'm only here as a witness." He sat down at the picnic table and reached for a sandwich.

"So what is it you want from me?" I semi-politely asked the other woman.

"To see for myself what Gerald is accused of," she said with a stern look. "You will show me what happened."

"What do you mean?" I asked with shock and anger. "I wasn't present when he was 'raping' my friend each night!" And I didn't think I wanted to know either. But she grabbed my hands and pulled me close with incredible strength.

"Concentrate!" she demanded. "Think of your friend as Jennifer Anderson."

Suddenly everything went dark and I found myself in her body. I couldn't make out much, but I knew it was in her old bedroom at the Jensen house. I was lying on her bed and could sense I wasn't alone. A hand reached out and grabbed my breast.

'Oh NO - Please, not again,' I heard Jennifer cry out in panic and fear. 'Not again - GOD, PLEASE MAKE HIM STOP!'

A face appeared out of the darkness. It was Gerald and he had a vicious glare on his face. "This time I going to make it hurt 'BITCH' for telling Dr. Jensen our little secret." His fingers reached down to her groin and I could feel him starting to violate me. Jennifer screamed but only in her mind.

'No - No,' she sobbed to herself. 'Oh God, NOOOOOO please - make him stop. Someone, in the name of Jesus, stop him please!' She was almost in a hysterical state now - with waves of pleasure from his advances starting to work their way in.

'I WANT TO DIE!' she yelled out in pain and horror.

It was too much for my mind to take. I broke the link and snapped my hands away from the other woman. My eyes blinked a few times and I found myself back in the park. Diane turned to look away from me, her face full of rage but somehow I knew it wasn't directed at me. Judge Jasper continued to sit there calmly munching on a sandwich as if he hadn't seen anything. But I knew he had, I could sense his presence in the dream. He looked at the two of us and cleared his throat.

"I'll leave you two ladies alone so you can talk." He rose up from the table and slowly walked away.

My body was still shaking over the experience and I felt like I was going to vomit. I knew my friend had suffered plenty under Gerald's control but I had never known the full scope of it. Now - now I understood the real hell he was talking about. I had experienced it first hand.

Diane never turned to look at me but I could see she was different lady from the one I had met just a few minutes ago. She struggled for a moment as if the words were hard to say.

"I - I can't be your friend right now. But I don't blame you for what you did. Please leave me alone now."

'Friends?' I thought. I wanted to ask why she thought I would even consider being friends with the sister of someone who had violated my best friend several times. But the horror of what I had just seen and felt took the fight out of me. All I wanted to do at the moment was hug my brother and tell him I now understood why being Jennifer Anderson had been so hard for him to accept.

As I walked away I turned to see what Diane was doing but she was already gone - along with the food and everything else. It was like she had never been there.

Fade out...

******

Voice of Dennis Butz - Thousands of years ago there was a war in the heavens, between the gods of old and the new arrivals. During the process the earth was almost destroyed by fire and floods as our war ran unchecked. Finally, after centuries of conflict, an uneasy peace was achieved between our two people. Both sides recognized they needed the other, but neither side was willing to trust the other. However, as man grew in power and knowledge he challenged the gods themselves. To maintain the balance and keep the peace, a buffer zone was needed.

It's a small town - just like thousands of others spread across the land. Quiet streets, family-run businesses, and Saturday afternoon picnics. But this town is different. It's a place for lost souls, for misguided individuals, and for those who are in need of a second chance. It's also the last, best chance I have of freeing my people from their captors. The name of the project is Restoration; the name of the town is Andersonville!

******

Fade in...

Colonel Myers was sitting back in his chair and thinking what a great job he had. Inside the bunker he had access to unlimited resources, both in men and material, and the best part was that almost no one knew they were there. The bunker, as it was known to those who worked there, was located almost 40 feet below the Andersonville Courthouse. From here he could watch and direct all the activities within a 20-mile radius. There were hundreds of hidden cameras located all around the town, and many more on the main road leading in.

His staff consisted of 3 real men - each of who commanded of a crew of 25 temporary people. The temps monitored the camera screens and other devices around the town and reported any problems back to them. His men in turn reported any problems back to the Colonel that they felt required it. It was then the Colonel's job to decide how the problem was to be handled.

To make things interesting for his men, each temp was given his own life. When their shift was done they were simply turned off and stored in the computer until it was time to start work again. But the computer interjected events into their programs during this off time. So when their shift started up again, the temps would joke and tell their supervisor about the ball game they went to last night or the waitress they went out on a date with - all the while his men knew they had never left the cold memory of the computer disk. Each shift had its own set of temps which worked together to help build a strong team. As a result, the Colonel and his men began to see the temps as real people, not just computer-generated images.

The intercom squawked. "Barry, can I see you for a moment?" Colonel Myers picked up his coffee and walked the short distance to the Sergeant's monitor.

"What's up Jeff?" Colonel Myers asked. Inside the bunker, they rarely used proper titles unless there was a visitor present. His Sergeant's name was Jeff Summers, a good-looking man with a nice build who stood about 6'1'. He had recently turned 21, and his friends had decided to help him celebrate by giving him a huge beer bash. The Colonel had participated in the festivities, and was still feeling the effects of the party three days later. The other men, all of whom were at least 20 years younger, didn't seem bothered with any type of hangover the next morning.

"We have a car heading east on the access road," the Sergeant explained in an almost monotone voice. "Speed is 53 miles per hour. I ran a quick plate check and the car came back stolen three days ago. I'm trying to get more information, but I thought you would like to know ahead of time."

"How far is he from the turnoff?" the Colonel asked.

"At his present speed, about 8 minutes." Barry Myers frowned. That wasn't much time to decide what to do.

The Sergeant's screen beeped as more information started to appear. "Got something. The LA Police believe a Greg Saunders stole the vehicle. I'm printing off his police record now. Want me to pull up his picture from the camera shot Colonel?"

"Do it, so we can compare it to the picture on the police printout." Barry waited until the printer was done and ripped it off. He looked at the man's rap sheet and his anger grew.

"Do you have his face up yet, Jeff?" Barry Myers demanded. The Sergeant noticed his boss was suddenly a little impatient. This meant they had a real scumbag on their hands.

"Coming up now Colonel." The picture from the camera wasn't very good, but it was enough to make a positive ID, and let them know it was Mr. Saunders driving the car."

"What have we got, sir?" Jeff asked with great curiosity.

"A child molester wanted in two states. He murdered one of his twelve victims and jumped bail. What lame-brained, bleeding heart judge would allow this scum to post bail?" Barry picked up a blue phone nearby and waited for the other party to pick up.

"Bird dog, this is the big dog here. We got a hot one heading your way that's five minutes out. I want you to put out the welcome mat for him, and implement plan two. We'll watch from here." The Colonel hung up the phone while the sergeant turned on the camera that over-looked the house and intersection.

Inside the farmhouse a world of activity started up. One soldier sat down at the main control panel and started flipping switches. Two hundred yards down the road, a rock moved sideways, and a sign popped up from the ground. It read: "Andersonville - 5 miles", with an arrow pointing to the north. Not far away, another sign rose up indicating the road to Andersonville also lead to Canada. More signs appeared from out of the ground advertising various businesses in Andersonville.

While this was going on, three soldiers were busy putting up the 'bridge out ahead' signs leaving only two ways for the car to go - back the way it came, or straight into Andersonville. About 30 seconds before the car arrived at the intersection, everything was in place, and the soldiers were back inside the farmhouse. From the bunker, the Colonel and his men watched the activity with silent appreciation. The Major in charge of the farmhouse operation had trained his men well.

As the car approached, the driver saw the signs in the road and slammed on his brakes. For a moment, the man sat there as if trying to figure out what to do. Then he hit the gas and headed north toward the trap. When he had crossed over the three metal bars in the road, the Colonel knew they had him for sure. He picked up the blue phone again.

"Good work bird dog - I'm very impressed by your work. We have him now, return everything back to normal status. Thanks guys." The Colonel hung up the phone and picked up a red phone right next to it. This phone rang into the Andersonville police station.

"Dave, this is Colonel Myers. We have a bad boy coming your way; I'm having the printout sent to you. He just crossed our first trap and is heading into town. I'll let you know where he decides to stop." There was an acknowledgement on the other end, and the Colonel hung up. Now it was a waiting game to see where it ended.

Sergeant Summers switched the only road into town onto the main screen. While they waited, the men took bets on where Mr. Saunders would end up. One of them picked the motel while the others picked a couple of restaurants. Colonel Myers' gut told him the man would end up at Louie's Bar and Grill, which was located just off Main Street, so he wasn't too surprised to see him pull up in front of the place, much to his men's astonishment. He chuckled slightly as he pocketed their money and made his call to Sergeant Williams. It was the Andersonville Police's case now, although his men would continue to monitor the situation with interest to see what happened next.

Colonel Myers told his Sergeant to come and get him when the fun started and went back inside his office. There was a report that needed to be completed, and he wanted to get it done while it was still fresh in his mind. Overall, he rated their latest execution as a high B+. The only weak link had been him; he had taken way too long to decide what to do.

'Well,' the colonel thought, 'I'll have to make sure I do a better job next time.' He was halfway into finishing the report when the intercom went off again.

"Barry, you better get out here. We have a rocket on wheels coming down the road." The Colonel didn't waste anytime getting to the Sergeants desk.

"What have you got?" he demanded to know.

"A Chevy sir," the sergeant's voice registering the stress of the situation. "It came up on us suddenly. I have him clocked at nearly 84 miles per hour. I'm working on his ID now sir, it should be up in less than a minute"

Dave turned and looked at the nearby monitor, which showed a still screen of the car as it passed the first checkpoint. Information from Sergeant Summer's search started to appear on his screen.

"Car is registered to a Paul Baxter. No wants or warrants. Except for minor traffic tickets, he doesn't seem to have a criminal history. Current address is Lakeview, California. He sure is trying to get somewhere in a hurry, though."

The name stuck out in the Colonel's mind - it was familiar. He started shifting through the paperwork he had on Mr. Saunders and found out why. One of his victims had been Leslie Baxter, age 7. Found murdered almost three years ago after having been sexually assaulted.

"Bring up Mr. Saunders file again," the Colonel ordered in a military tone. The Sergeant snapped to attention and a moment later the information was on his computer screen. "Focus on this victim," Barry said pointing to one of the names. "I want the parents' names." The computer keys clicked as the Sergeant went about his task in a quiet and professional manner.

"Got it sir. The little girl's parents were Mary and Paul Baxter. Last known address, Lakeview California." The Sergeant said the town's name with surprise in his voice.

"How far out is he Sergeant?"

"At his current speed sir - he'll be at the turnoff in under 2 minutes."

The Colonel swore to himself. He had told the town's designers that the access road needed to be a least 5 miles longer in each direction. He now had 90 seconds to decide the outcome of someone's life. He looked at Mr. Baxter's picture on the TV screen - there was a look of determination on his face as if he were a man on a mission. Could he let him fail? Dave Myers picked up the blue phone that was answered immediately.

"Bird dog, this is big dog here. We have a visitor who will be coming up on you in less then a minute. Get out there and greet him. If he wants to know about the last car that went by you, then point him in the right direction. Do you copy? Good - doghouse out."

The Colonel placed the handset back on its cradle and took a drink of his coffee. He stared at the main screen and prayed he had made the right decision. Paul Baxter's life was about to change - he just didn't know if it was for good or bad.

******

I was driving at a breakneck speed - taking chances that the slightest mistake could cost me my life. But then again, I really didn't have a life anymore - not since that monster had destroyed it. I had been searching for the bastard for more than 2 years - ever since he jumped bail and went to Canada. What followed was 821 days of fruitless searching, but I wasn't about to give up. Then I learned he had made his way back into the United States to visit a friend and attend to some business. Now I was hot on his trail.

A gas station attendant many towns ago had recognized the man from the picture I showed him. Better still, he had had a conversation with the man I had was searching for, and learned he was heading back into Canada through the Michigan border. I thanked him and headed off in the direction of the man who had murdered my little girl after taking away her innocence. While she lay in her grave, he was free and starting a new life. It wasn't fair - and I was going to see to it that justice prevailed. The anger rose in my throat - this monster didn't deserve to live, let along start a new life. He had almost an hour head start on me, but I wasn't going to let up. I was determined to catch up with him before he crossed into Canada again.

I flew past a sign that said "Andersonville 5 miles" with an arrow indicating that I needed to make a turn up ahead. When I came to the "T" intersection, I saw a middle-aged man working near the side of the road. I slammed on my brakes and stopped beside him. I was surprised to see my sudden stop didn't even startle him. It was almost as if he'd expected me to stop.

"Excuse me," I interrupted. "I was wondering if you could help me. I'm looking for a man in a black Ford. He may have driven past here in the last half hour or so." It was a long shot, but I was praying my good luck was still holding out.

"Yea, he passed by about twenty minutes ago," the farmer replied. "He wanted to know a good place to eat around here, so I sent him to Louie's Bar and Grill in Andersonville."

I couldn't believe my good fortune. Not only had the farmer talked to the monster, he knew exactly where to find him.

"Did he look like this?" I asked holding up the picture of my daughter's murderer.

"That's him," the man answered pleasantly.

"Thanks for your help mister. By the way, where does this road lead?

The farmer shook his head. "Nowhere. It dead-ends in the town of Andersonville. This is the only way in or out of the town."

"Thanks," I muttered in a rushed tone. I hit the gas and pointed my car down the two-lane road. Damn, someone is smiling down on me today. There was no way the monster was going to get away from me now.

As I raced toward Louie's Bar and Grill all kinds of thoughts were rushing through my mind, mostly of my little girl. I pictured her sitting in the playground swing smiling at me. I turned away for a moment, and when I looked back she was gone. It was a nightmare that had haunted me for many nights; but soon it would be over. There was a .357 bullet in the trunk of my car with his name on it.

The bar/restaurant was located one block off the main road through town. As I pulled up to it, I spotted the stolen car immediately. One of the detectives on my little girl's case had given me the information on it. He knew how much this case meant to me, he just didn't know how much.

I parked my car next to his and retrieved the gun from the trunk. I had waited almost three years for this day, and yet, at that particular moment, I was beginning to have second thoughts about killing him. Yes, he deserved to die, or have something equally horrible happen to him, but did I have the right to kill him? I pushed the thought aside. That decision had been made years ago, and I wasn't about to back out now. I stuffed the gun under my shirt and walked inside.

Louie's Bar and Grill was your typical hole-in-the-wall bar. The air was filled with thick smoke and the smell of stale alcohol. The place wasn't very crowded, so it didn't take me long to spot him. He was sitting in a booth near the back without a care in the world - chomping down on a steak the cook had just made for him. My blood ran cold, and I reached for my gun. Before I could pull it out though, someone grabbed my hand.

"That's far enough, sir," a tall, skinny man dressed in a regular shirt and pair of slacks said to me. He pushed me into a booth and held my hands down. This caught the attention of the monster, who tried to get up. He quickly found a gun pointed right in his face by another officer, who had stepped out of the back room.

"Show me your hands right now," the tall man demanded from me. I knew he had to be an uncover police officer. A few more uniforms arrived and we were both taken out of the bar in handcuffs. In a way, I was relieved that I hadn't gone through with it; that I hadn't crossed the thin line that still separated me from him. But then, I also felt angry with myself - that I had failed my little girl by allowing him to live. The monster was placed into the back of a police car - a sneer on his face when he saw it was me. Unceremoniously, I was placed in the back of another police car.

"He murdered my daughter," I tried to explain to the officer as we drove off.

"We know," was all he said back. We rode the rest of the way to Police Station in silence, and I was a little concerned. The officer - his nametag said Phillips - didn't seem too interested in my story. Didn't he understand that I was the good guy here? But then again, I had gone into the bar with the intent to kill the other man. I wasn't any better than the monster.

To my surprise, we were taken straight into the courtroom instead of to a jail cell. What struck me even more funny was how the officers acted toward us. They seemed unconcerned about our story, as if they already knew everything about us.

I was seated across from Mr. Saunders, who was putting up a brave front; even grinning a little. But then again, why shouldn't he be happy? He had escaped death from my hands. The worst they could do was send him back to California to face trial. Even that would take a while if he fought extradition. All in the name of his rights! It made me sick to think that no one in the court system seemed to be concerned about my daughter's rights or the rights of the other little children he had violated. What about their rights to grow up in a happy and safe environment?

"All rise," bellowed one of the police officers. "The Municipal Court of Andersonville is now in session. The honorable Judge Herns is presiding."

I was relieved to see the Judge was an older woman - maybe even a grandmother. It meant she could be more emotionally attached to the rights of my murdered child than a male judge. Not that she could really do anything to Mr. Saunders - but perhaps she would have sympathy toward my plight, and speed up his extradition back to California.

"Sergeant Williams, what is our first case?" she asked with displeasure. I could tell from her tone that she had a good idea who Mr. Saunders really was.

"Greg Saunders, Your Honor. He is charged with molesting twelve children that resulted in the death of one of them."

I couldn't stand it any longer. I stood up and shouted, "That's untrue Your Honor. The officer is making it sound like it was an accident, but he meant to murder my Leslie. Your Honor - she - she was only 7 years old." My voice cracked a little when I told the Judge my daughter's age.

The Judge hit her gavel on the table, but not too hard. "Mr. Baxter, I understand how you feel," she said in a soft but firm tone. "But do not interrupt this proceeding again - do I make myself clear? You'll get your chance to talk before I announce my sentence. Mr. Saunders has already been found guilty of his crimes in this court."

Suddenly the monster didn't seem to be so confident anymore. He had expected a simple hearing, not to be tried for his crimes.

"Wait a minute," he protested. "You can't find me guilty of anything - this isn't proper procedure. Where's my lawyer? I'm supposed to have one present."

"You don't need a lawyer Mr. Saunders," the Judge explained in a somewhat acid tone. "You're guilty of these crimes, there isn't any doubt about that. What I'm going to do to you next is still undecided. I recommend you choose your next words very carefully.

"This is BULLSHIT!" he yelled back at her.

"Interesting words," she told him in a calm, even tone that even made me shiver in fear. "I'll keep them in mind when I sentence you." I could sense danger by the way she said the words, but didn't know why. After all, what could she really do to him? The female Judge turned and looked at me.

"Do you have anything to say Mr. Baxter before I continue with Mr. Saunders' punishment phase?" I could see the monster was trying to say something else, but nothing seemed to be coming out of his mouth.

"No Your Honor," I answered in a timid voice. I was beginning to fear for myself, a selfish act.

"Really Mr. Baxter?" the Judge asked in mock surprise. "He murdered your only daughter. You've spent more then two years trying to track him down while ruining your life in the process. And now, after you have him in front of you, you have nothing to say? Tell me Mr. Baxter, what would you like to see happen to Mr. Saunders? A painful death maybe?"

It was a question I had been asking myself for three years now. I just didn't want to see the man dead; I wanted to see him suffer for his crimes before he died. But I wasn't thinking of him, I was taking a hard look at what I had become. The problem was, I didn't know what that was. Then I thought of my poor, little girl, lying there on that cold abandoned factory floor where he had left her. He didn't even have the decency to cover her up after he was finished, instead leaving her to lay there naked. I knew what I wanted to happen to him, I wanted him to suffer just like my little girl had.

"Your Honor, I want him to receive the worst punishment possible. Most people think death is pretty bad, but I want his punishment to be worse than death. I want him to suffer the same way he caused all those other little boys and girls to suffer, some even to this day. I don't know what that punishment would be, and I know you can't honor it. But you asked for my opinion and that's what I want to see happen. I want him to suffer for his crimes, not just die for them."

Judge Herns nodded thoughtfully. "An interesting punishment you are suggesting Mr. Baxter. Most people would have been satisfied with a long, lingering death." She sat there for a minute in silence, as if she were thinking. Then, there was a look of resolution on her face.

"I usually don't make it a point to listen to my ex-husband," she started out, "but in your case Mr. Saunders, I'm going to take a page out of his book. Mr. Baxter, I'm going to honor your request. Watch carefully and remember - this is what 'you' wanted."

She stopped talking and held her hands out in front of her body. As strange as it may sound, it looked like the palms of her hands started to glow. She closed her eyes as if she was concentrating hard, and I could see her lips moving slightly, as she muttered something under her breath. Her eyes opened back up and I saw a ball of light the size of a baseball rise from her hands. It was almost like a vapor, except for the green and yellow dots that moved around it. The ball hovered above her hands for a moment and then sped off with incredible speed and hit Mr. Saunders squarely in the chest. The man stepped back as if he felt the impact, but to be honest, from my view, it looked like the ball of light had gone right into him. There appeared a look of discomfort on his face.

"What - what's happening to me?" the monster cried out as he was finally able to speak. "I feel funny all over - like my body is changing." At that moment, his hands started getting longer and to my horror, turned into tree branches. Tiny leaves started sprouting from them as more branches appeared from his body. Then his feet started to change as well. Where he once had feet there were now roots which disappeared when his pants fell down and turned into a bag.

"Stop, HELP - AGGG," he screamed, as his mouth turned into the bark of the tree, and then his entire face disappeared. A moment later, all that remained of Mr. Saunders was a five-foot tall Maple. I sat there in a semi-state of shock - my words had caused another person to be turned into a tree.

"From now on Mr. Saunders," the Judge said clearly, "when the children touch and climb you - you will still get turned on, but won't be able to do anything about it. And as a special bonus, after the sun goes down, you'll relive the pain of each child you harmed, including the one you murdered. You will remember for the rest of your life what you were and what you have lost. Since you are a young tree, that will be a very long time, long after your victims have gone on to their own reward."

My stomach began to turn, and I felt nauseated. What had I done? Yes, he deserved to be punished, but like this? Yet this is exactly what I had wanted to happen - to have him suffer like I had all these years. However, the sweet taste of revenge I had desired for so long didn't taste sweet at all. It was like a bitter pill.

"Does this satisfy your thirst for revenge Mr. Baxter?" the Judge asked me in a somewhat harsh tone. I wanted to answer her, but I was growing sicker by the moment.

"You're - you're - honor." I could feel my bile starting to rise up my throat.

"Out the door and to the right Mr. Baxter," she responded softly.

I placed my hand over my mouth and ran out of the courtroom as fast as I could. When I reached the bathroom stall, I threw open the door and upchucked everything I had eaten that morning, then continued to heave. I couldn't remember being so sick to my stomach.

Once I was done, I sat down on the toilet and started sobbing uncontrollably. All these years chasing this man so there would be justice and for what? It hadn't brought my lovely child back. Instead, it consumed and destroyed my life. After all these years of hunting this monster, I now knew the price of revenge - why didn't I realize it back then?

I stepped over to the sink to splash some water on my face. I took a careful look and saw that the last three years had been hard on it. It seemed as if I had aged 10 years since this nightmare began. An officer, his nametag said Sergeant Dave Williams, walked into the bathroom.

"If you are ready Mr. Baxter, I need you to come with me," he told me.

"Where are we going?" Then I realized I really didn't care. I just wanted my life to be over.

A thin smile appeared below his bushy mustache. "To finish the job you started," he told me.

'Finish?' I thought. What more was there left to do? He led me out to a police cruiser where Mr. Saunders was sticking out of the trunk. I got in the passenger seat, and we drove a few blocks to a park. Once there, the officer pulled out the new tree and a shovel.

"This should be a good spot," he said, but his statement really wasn't directed at me. I sat on a nearby bench and watched him dig a hole in the ground. The officer was a strong man, and in a matter of minutes he had dug the hole deep enough. He pulled out a small pocketknife and cut open the ball around the roots of the tree. Large amounts of dirt began to fall out and I began to wonder what body parts the dirt had once been.

The cop placed the tree in the hole, and then started shoveling the dirt back around it. In a matter of minutes, the human tree was planted. Sergeant Williams gave me a small nod, walked back to his car, and drove off. I just sat there in a daze, not knowing what to do next. Then the sound of kids laughing distracted me. Not far away there were some small children playing on a jungle gym. They giggled and chased each other without a care in the world. Considering what I had seen, they didn't have to worry about the dangers of the outside world. My daughter had once played like that - happy and carefree. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

"A lovely sight, isn't it." The voice startled me, and I saw Judge Herns sitting next to me staring over at the same group of kids. I hadn't even heard her show up.

"I mean the kids," she sighed. "They grow up so fast, but during the time between birth and adulthood they are so wonderful. Nothing can replace that feeling of being a parent, don't you agree Mr. Baxter?"

"Your Honor," I started out humbly, "I want to apologize for running out earlier. I didn't mean to disrupt your court like that, I know we still have business to talk about."

She gave me a cordial smile and said, "My child, I understand completely. Very few men wear their feelings on their sleeve like you do. We'll get to you in just a moment."

"Your honor, what you did to Mr. Saunders in the courtroom. How - I mean, who are you?"

"The more important question Mr. Baxter," she said with a serious tone in her voice, "is who are you? You're not the same man today as you were when you started this quest three years ago, are you?"

"No, I'm not. And to answer your question Judge, I don't know who I am anymore. I thought I did. When my baby died, I wanted to bury the bastard for what he did." I chuckled sickly. "And I finally got my wish."

"But that doesn't make you happy Mr. Baxter, does it?"

"No," I answered truthfully. "My little girl is still dead. Somehow, I thought that catching him would make everything right again, but it didn't. It cost me my wife, my job, my house - my whole damn life. I've been such a fool these past few years."

Judge Herns shook her head as if she understood what I was trying to say.

"Forgiveness can be a valuable tool in life, Paul," she told me. "I'm not saying Mr. Saunders deserves forgiveness, but you need to forgive yourself for what happened to your daughter."

"I should've kept a better eye on her that day," I said looking down at the ground in guilt. "That's what a father is supposed to do - right? Protect his kids. Well I failed Judge - big time. I can never forgive myself for what happened."

She patted me on the knee. "Then I'll start the process, my child. I'm forgiving you for bringing a gun into Andersonville and trying to kill someone. You're free to go and pick up the pieces of your shattered life. I'll have to remove your memories of this event, but if nothing else, you'll know Mr. Saunders got what he deserved. Come see me when you are ready." She stood up to leave.

"What about if I want - I mean, can I - will you." I found the words impossible to say.

"Is there something you wish to ask me?" the Judge said while looking down at me with her dark, brown eyes. I couldn't get the words to come out of my mouth. I had no right to ask, and was terrified of what she might say. But where else did I have to go?

"Will you let me stay here?" I asked softly. "I don't have any other place to go, and I'm too old and tired to start over again." The Judge sat back down on the bench and gave me a serious look.

"Do you understand what you are asking, Mr. Baxter? If I allow you to stay, you'll never be able to leave Andersonville again. Even if this is a lovely town, you must understand it will become your permanent home. It also means that I'll have to charge you with your original crimes. Your life will be mine to do with as I see best, and you'll no longer be known as Paul Baxter anymore."

"Do you mean that I may be turned into a tree like the monster?" I was fearful of what would happen to me.

She smiled slightly to push that thought away. "I only turn people into trees if they deserve it, Paul. No, you will remain human and take the place of one of our temporary residents. You'll be given a new and rewarding life to live as your own as long as you follow the golden rule of loving everyone as you want to be loved."

"Sounds wonderful," I said honestly.

The Judge narrowed her eyes slightly at me. "It can be Paul, if, and when, you accept who you become. That's the hard part, living as someone else. So I want you to think about this because once you agree to my offer, I won't change you back, no matter how much you regret the decision. It won't be easy, but I promise you'll get back the life you threw away three years ago."

I sat there in silence. There was nothing left in the outside world anymore. Even if I wanted to get back together with my wife, it was too late. She had recently re-married and didn't want to see me again. I suppose I couldn't blame her for that. My career? I used to be in real estate, and while I could get back into it again, my heart wasn't in it anymore. No, I needed to make a fresh start in life, but without a place to live, family to help support me, or money, I would never make it. What the Judge was offering me was a second chance at life.

"I want to take you up on your offer, Judge Herns. And I know what you're going to ask me. Yes, I'm very sure this is what I want."

She gave me a thin but supportive smile. "Let's go back to my office where we won't be seen, then."

As we walked back, I took a look at the new place I would soon call home. It wasn't a bad place; in fact the town was clean and rather charming. It was the type of town you would want your kids to grow up in. We strolled into her office where a young attractive teenage girl was working. The Judge told her to have Carol Green come down, and then ushered me into her office.

"Don't be nervous Paul," she said in a trusting voice. "What I'm going to do won't hurt. I'm going to delay the change so Dr. Green can explain what is happening to you. I think it will be easier for you to deal with it. Please don't try to fight her, Paul, she's here to help you. Okay, are you ready to begin?"

I shook my head slowly. To be honest, I was scared despite her assurances it wasn't going to hurt. I debated about closing my eyes, but decided I really wanted to see what was happening.

The Judge started by closing her eyes and holding out the palms of hands. I could see them start to glow. Next, a small, white ball interlaced with blue sparkles rose out of her hands. It hovered for a moment, then came right at me and hit me squarely in the chest. Although I didn't actually feel it hit me, I did take a few steps back as if it had. There was a slight tingling all over my body that quickly passed. Someone knocked, and the door opened. A beautiful blonde haired woman in a pale blouse and a long, flowered skirt walked in.

"Good morning, Your honor," she said pleasantly. "I see you have a job for me."

The Judge gave her a welcoming smile. "Good morning Carol. Will you please take Mr. Baxter up to your office and integrate him into his new life? Linda can give you his file."

"She already has," the lovely young doctor said, while holding up a large envelope. "Linda certainly is starting to fit in well around here."

"Thanks to you Carol," the Judge winked. "Just don't let her know I said so. Maybe you can work on getting her to dress a bit more feminine on the job."

"I'll see what I can do June, she's still a little stubborn about that at times." The blonde haired woman turned her attention to me. "Well Paul, let's go up to my office where we can talk in private."

We walked past the desk where a young woman, Linda Anderson I assumed, was working. I remembered seeing her in the courtroom earlier when the monster was on trial. She almost seemed too young be working in a job like this. I wondered why the Judge was so interested in seeing her dressed more feminine. It seemed to me that some women were just natural tomboys, although she was wearing a lovely skirt and blouse outfit. She gave me a sad smile and returned to her work.

Carol Green led me past the elevator and explained that we had to take the stairs since it was out of order. It turned out her office was on the second floor overlooking Main Street. The room was decorated in a very nice and profession fashion with pictures of various sights from around the country hanging on the wall. There was a small desk in one corner, and several comfortable chairs, including a couch, in another. The attractive woman motioned for me to take a seat, and got me a glass of water.

"What happens now," I asked nervously, taking a drink.

"Relax Paul," she answered calmly. "Your changes should start in the next minute or so. It's important to remember not to panic when they do, or to be too upset after it's all over."

"Why would I be upset?" I asked, now panicking a little at what I might become. "Am I going to become some old, unattractive man?"

The doctor giggled lightly. "No, nothing like that. In fact you're going to be very attractive when it's over."

I was about to ask her something else when I felt a tingling of pins and needles starting to move throughout my body. Dr. Green smiled at the expression on my face as if she understood what was happening.

"Relax Paul, it's not going to hurt, and it'll be over in a minute. Just breathe deeply and don't panic. Relax."

Her words did little to relieve the stress I was feeling. In a rather short time, based on what I had seen happen to Mr. Saunders, I would cease to exist as Paul Baxter and become someone else. The idea was suddenly very frightening to me.

I felt a heavy concentration of activity around my chest and groin. The skin on my chest began stretching as two mounds started to push outward. I watched in semi-horror as they grew and grew and grew. By the time they were done, my breasts were at least a 'D' cup. I could feel a tugging on the back of my head as my hair grew by several inches until it reached the back of my neck. I could feel the bald spot I once had was now covered with fine, thick hair.

My clothes started changing as well. My pants literally turned into a pair of blue-jean shorts. My shirt remained in place, but changed color and style as it fit loosely over my chest. My butt started moving in the seat and I could feel my hips push out as they moved higher up my body. There was no doubt in my mind now, the Judge had decided to turn me into a woman. I only hoped she would allow me to be changed back once this was all over.

The area of my groin continued to tingle intensively, and I felt my penis shrinking as more internal changes seemed to be happening inside. It was an almost pleasant, tickling effect that was beginning - I hated to admit - to turn me on. My legs grew narrower, as did my arms, and my hands got smaller. Both hands looked so tiny and feminine now, and I gasped hard at the changes being made to me.

With one final pull I felt my penis disappear inside and become my vagina. Then everything stopped at once and I felt normal again - at least as normal as I could. Doctor Green stood there with a smile on her face.

"You look lovely Mary. You really do."

'Mary?' She had called me by a female name. But I didn't want to be known by everyone as a woman - and I didn't want the body that went with it. I didn't want to be lovely, or pretty, or be all the things a woman was supposed to be. I wanted out of my new body and this crazy place they called a town.

"What - what did she do to me?" I demanded to know, but my voice didn't sound as hard as I wanted it to. It was rather sweet and feminine.

"I think you know what she did," Carol retorted in a calm voice. "What you need to do now is accept what has happened to you, and start living your new life."

"But I don't want to be woman," I protested vigorously. "Judge Herns didn't tell me I would become a girl if I stayed."

"I would hardly call you a girl," the doctor answered me back. "First you're a 27 years old woman with three adorable kids."

"KIDS!" I interrupted her. "I now have kids to take care of? Do you know how crazy all this sounds doctor? I was a failure as a father, what makes Judge Herns think I'll make a better mother?"

"Because you'll have me to help you out," Dr. Green told me. "I'm raising two kids of my own, and I have plenty of experience to share with you."

"I won't do this," I said with resolution in my voice.

"You have to," she told me. "You really don't have a choice anymore. You agreed to the Judge's rules, and if you try to back out now, she won't be very happy with you."

"Yeah," I said as if it was a dare. "What else could she do to me that would be worse that what's already happened?"

"You really don't want to find out, Mary - please trust me on this." Dr. Green made it sound like a plea to make me behave.

"Why did she do this to me? Why couldn't she have kept me as a man?" Suddenly I found tears forming in my eyes. Was this part of the curse of being a woman - crying on the spot? The doctor sat down and put her arm around me in an attempt to comfort me. I had to admit it made me feel a little better.

"Mary - okay, Paul, it's not a punishment. Why Judge Herns decided to turn you into a woman I don't have an answer for. Maybe one day she will tell you why - but I'm sure she had good reasons for doing so. What you need to do is forget about your past life and embrace your new one. You really are a lucky lady. Do you want me to tell you about yourself?

"Sure - why not," I sniffed. "Wow me with this wonderful life she stuck me into."

"Sarcasm won't help, Paul," she told me. "Okay, as I said you're 27 and a mother of three. Your husband," I gave her a shocked look, but she grinned and went on, "works as a manager over at the mine. He's an important person at his job for someone so young. He hopes to become president of the mine one day. His name is George Patterson and you two have been married for almost 8 years now. You live in a nice, 4-bedroom house off of Maple Street. By the way, I've seen the house and if I may be so bold, you are going to love living there."

"Look," I started out in the hopes I could talk myself out of this life she was presenting to me. "It sounds great, but I think I'll pass on this. Just let me go see the Judge and work all this out."

She shook her head and said, "It's not going to happen Paul! This is who you're going to be for the rest of your life. If you try to escape, the Judge will only get mad, and then you will have to be punished."

"You really don't expect me to spread my legs for my some stranger I don't even know, do you?" The thought horrified me. "I'm not GAY, DOCTOR."

The doctor grinned as if she had expected me to lose my temper. "Your baby is only a week old. Your family doctor is suggesting you don't have sex with your husband for at least four weeks so this'll give you plenty of time to get used to the idea, Paul. However, since your body didn't actually go through the stress of the birth, you can try it earlier if you want. And you'll find it to be a most natural event when you do. You're going to love sex as a woman, Paul, trust me on this."

"Fine then," I said in frustration. If Dr. Green couldn't see my point, then I would go see the Judge as soon as she let me leave. "So what happens now doctor?"

"Why don't we start with your children, first." The doctor opened up the door and pulled in a stroller. There was a newborn baby stirring slightly inside.

"This is your daughter, Leslie," she whispered softly to me. I looked at the small bundle of joy and my heart broke - I was in love with her. She stirred some more, then started to cry loudly. It always amazed me how something so small could cry so loud. I reached down and picked up the crying child. Almost immediately I felt the bond that happens between a parent and child.

"She's beautiful doctor," I said staring at her. I suddenly forgot about my visit with the Judge. All I could think about was how much this newborn daughter looked like my old Leslie. The baby went from crying to screaming unhappily at the top of her lungs.

"I think she's hungry Mary," the doctor hinted. I looked around for a bag containing her bottles but didn't see one.

"Where are the baby bottles?" I asked with concern.

"There are none. You decided to breast feed her," the doctor said with a grin. I blushed slightly at the idea.

"But I - well - my ex-wife never did that and I ..."

"Don't know what to do," she finished for me with a smile. "That's what I'm here for, Mary. Sit down in the chair." I took a seat while carefully holding on to my new daughter.

"Okay, unbutton your blouse so the baby can get to your breast." I blushed some more but the comforting smile never left the doctor's face. "It's alright Mary, I've seen this done before. You don't have to be ashamed about doing this in front of me. This is what woman do - we share our experience with others."

I guess she had a point, I didn't have anything that she hadn't seen before in the mirror. I unbuttoned my blouse and exposed the right side of my bra.

"Okay Mary, you're wearing a maternity bra, which allows you to unsnap the front of it so the baby can get to your breast without you having to take the bra off. So unsnap it and move the baby's mouth up to your nipple. Leslie will take it from there."

I was no longer embarrassed about what I was doing. In fact I found the idea of nursing my baby a little exciting. I pulled the front of my bra down and stuck little Leslie in front of my breast. She took hold of the nipple, and her crying turned to soft sobs and then the gentle sound of her sucking on my breast. The feeling of nursing her was wonderful. It wasn't a sexual feeling, but it was just as powerful. Leslie continued to nurse while I held tightly onto her warm body and realized I had never felt so happy or complete in all my life.

"You did a good job for the first time," Dr. Green said after about five minutes. I think she deliberately waited that long to give me time to bond with Leslie before interrupting my thoughts.

"Is it always like this?" I wanted to know. "Like she's a part of me? I feel so close to her right now."

"Yes," the doctor said with glowing eyes, remembering her own children. "And it continues even after they no longer need your milk anymore. You will always feel like they're a part of you."

Leslie was sleeping again. I pulled her away from my breast, and wrapped her back up in the blanket. My new baby girl looked like an angel lying there in my arms.

"Next time, use the other breast, and change her diaper before you start so you won't have to disturb her after she eats," the doctor suggested. I nodded, and reluctantly laid her back down in the stroller.

"You said I had three children, Doctor," I said. "When do I meet the other two?"

"How about right now?" Dr. Green replied. She opened the door, and two small boys, about four and five years old, walked into the room. There was something wrong with their eyes, because they twinkled when I looked at them. The doctor noticed my confusion and concern. She pulled out a couple of coloring books and crayons for them.

"Here boys, why don't you color for a few minutes outside while I talk to your mother." Their faces lit up when they saw the coloring books, and they scampered out into the hallway to some chairs close by.

"Their eyes?" I gasped.

"It's alright Mary. It's normal with children who are temps. You'll get used to it."

"You mean - they're not real?"

"Well, yes and no. They are real in the sense that you can touch them. They each have their own personalities - fears, joys, strengths, and weaknesses. They can cry and laugh just like real children, and each one has their own fears. Nothing about them is different from you and me except for one thing - a computer program controls their personalities. In time the Judge will substitute in a real person, making them whole. Then they'll have the freedom to choose, as well as make their own mistakes."

"So this body used to belong to a temp?" I found the idea a little uneasy.

"Correct. Which means you don't have to worry about making new friends, they already know you."

"But how will I know who they are if I haven't met them yet?"

"Simple. If it's a temp, just ask them who they are. They will tell you, and the computer will erase the question from their memory. For a real person, you'll have to do a song and dance until you find out who they are. Oh, one more thing, most of the real people don't remember who they were."

"You wiped out their memories?" I was horrified again.

"Not really. I can't tell you why this happens, because, to be honest, I don't know myself. My guess is that it's easier for them to adjust if they don't know what's really going on. Most of them were criminals who had a rough start. I guess not remembering their past makes it easier for them to live in the present." The doctor looked at her watch and frowned slightly.

"I would love to talk with you some more, Mary, but I have another appointment coming soon. Why don't you stop by my office tomorrow around 11am to talk? Afterwards, we can do lunch together."

Carol opened the door, and I could see my two boys sitting, quietly coloring. I started to push Leslie's stroller into the hallway, but hesitated. Suddenly everything seemed foreign to me and I became scared.

"Dr. Green," I stuttered out. "I'm not - I'm not sure - that I can do this."

She reached over and gave me an encouraging hug. "You'll do fine Paul. Just remember that you're Mary Patterson now and everyone will know you by that name. Why don't you take the kids to the park and get to know them better? By the time you get home tonight everything will seem natural to you - I promise." Carol gave me another hug and called out to an officer who happened to be walking by.

"Officer Philips, would you mind helping Mrs. Patterson get her stroller down the steps and to her car please?"

The police officer smiled and said, "sure thing doc." He grabbed hold of the stroller with both hands and started down the steps with it. Along the way we passed a teenage girl, maybe about 17 years old, being escorted up the steps by another police officer. The look on her face showed signs of distress.

"Hi Troy," the officer holding on to the teenager said as he past us by. "Decided to give married life a try?"

"This is the closest I'll ever get to a family again," Officer Philips responded with a cheerful laugh. "I see Miss Williams was in trouble with the Judge again. You really shouldn't try to escape Peggy, I'll only have to go out and catch you again."

"Screw you Officer Philips," she spat out.

"I'll like to, Peggy, but you're jail-bait now - aren't you!" He gave her an evil, mean grin. "Maybe when you turn 18 once again we can relive some of those old times. Then again, maybe you'll learn that going to bed with me doesn't mean I'm going to help you escape. However, it was fun while it lasted."

I became angry, not only with the officer talking to the frightened girl that way, but also for him talking so openly in front of my children. I suddenly felt very protective of what they saw or heard.

"Officer Philips," I snapped at him. "I would appreciate it if you didn't talk like that in front of my children - or IN FRONT OF ME!"

The cop turned to give me an angry look, but I beat him to the punch, and was already glaring at him. Then it dawned on me, it wasn't just an act; I really was angry with him. I stared him down, and his anger faded quickly.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Patterson," he said in an apologetic tone as he continued carrying the stroller down the steps. The teenaged girl smiled and mouthed a 'thank you' at me for putting this jerk in his place.

"Come on, Miss Williams, Dr. Green is waiting for you," the officer holding onto her arm said. She looked back at me again, then disappeared down the hallway.

I followed the other officer out of the courtroom to a red Dodge mini-van that I assumed belonged to me. I was proven correct when I stuck the key into the door lock and it opened. I thanked Officer Philips for his help, and belted my kids in. Leslie stirred a little while I was buckling her, but faded back to sleep. I had forgotten how much babies slept during their first month of life. This was due to the fact that their bodies were growing at a fantastic rate and they tended to use up most of their energy.

When we got to the park, the two boys jumped out of the van and raced to the giant jungle gym. I unbuckled Leslie's car seat and carefully placed it down next to me on the wooden bench. It was a surprisingly nice, warm day for Montana in early August. I wondered how much snow the town would get, and how much fun my boys would have playing in it. I was surprised to find myself thinking about the future and not worrying about the past. I had only been in this body for a little more than one hour and yet felt like I had been Mary Patterson all my life.

"Is that your little girl?" I noticed a young woman about my age standing next to me. "She's beautiful!"

"Thank you," I smiled. I could tell from the twinkle in her eyes that she was a temp. I also noticed that the more they interacted with you, the more their eyes twinkled. I wondered if whoever was running the show had set this meeting up. I decided to play along.

"I'm Mary Patterson, and this is my daughter Leslie." I extended my hand to her.

"Hi Mary," the woman said touching my hand with hers. It felt so warm, like a real hand. "I'm Susan Brookman. That's my little girl, Cindy, over there on the swing." She pointed to a little girl about 5-years old with curly, brown hair.

"She's cute too," I smiled back in a most feminine manner. It seemed easy to go through the motions at the moment. "Would you like to join me?"

"I'll love to," the temp answered cheerfully, as she sat down on the bench beside me.

"My two boys are over there - John and Michael," I said. "My oldest will be in first grade this year." I was thankful to have remembered to ask them their names on the way over.

Susan giggled. "Better watch out, Mary, my Cindy is kind of boy crazy right now. I swear she's growing up so fast."

'So was my little girl,' I said to myself remembering my old Leslie sadly. It was over, why couldn't I let go of her?

"They do grow up fast," I said with tears in my eyes. Maybe the temps weren't programmed to react to certain reactions, because Susan never gave me a second glance. We spent the next hour talking about various things, like where were the best places to shop in Andersonville, and where could I get my hair done. By the time I was ready to leave, I was convinced the meeting had been a setup by Judge Herns, Carol Green, or someone else to work on my female skills. I felt like I passed with flying colors.

I followed the directions that Office Philips had given me to my new residence. Carol Green was right about my new home - I loved it. It was a two-story brick house with a huge back yard and lush, green grass. There were several tall trees that provided lots of shade in the summer and some protection against snow in the winter. In the back, I could see a patio with some rather expensive patio furniture and a small gas grill off on one side. The only thing missing was a swimming pool, although I imagine the swimming season around here was too short to make one practical to own. I tried the front door and was surprised to find it wasn't locked.

Inside, I found the house decorated for a family with kids in mind. The furniture was nice but not so nice that a spilled drink would ruin it. There was a large family room with a fireplace, and a lovely dinning room off from the kitchen. There was even a toy room on the main floor that my boys scampered off to play in.

About this time, Leslie was waking up from her nap, and the unsettling aroma and loud crying indicated she was more than just hungry. I took her upstairs into the nursery and put her down on the changing table. Now, I had changed diapers many times before, but as a woman it felt different. Maybe it was the bonding process I had with my new daughter, but taking care of her seemed more like a privilege than a chore. In fact, I couldn't wait to hold her up to my breast again to feed her. It was the ultimate experience of being close to someone and knowing you were responsible for sustaining their life.

I took Leslie to my breast and with loving care helped her attach herself to my nipple, as Carol had shown me, in case she had trouble. Slowly, almost rhythmically, as before - she sucked the milk from my body. I felt so attached to her.

After Leslie was done eating, I rocked her in my arms until she fell back asleep. My baby looked like an angel laying in the small downstairs crib in my living room. I spotted some pictures sitting on a small table and went over to look at each one. There was me on my wedding day, being held by my husband, who had one arm draped around my tiny waist. I was wearing a beautiful, white bridal gown with long sleeves and lots of lace. I found myself wondering how there could be a picture of a wedding that had never happened. Still, it was hard to deny the woman standing there with the shiny smile on her face wasn't me. I was younger looking and my hair was a little bit longer but it was still me - or the me I was now supposed to be.

The other pictures were of when my sons were babies. In both cases, I was holding them lovingly in my arms. Then there were pictures of some older couples who I suspected were my parents and in-laws. I could tell which ones were my parents, as I had clearly gotten my looks from my mother.

Then there was my husband. From another man's perspective, he was very distinguished looking. From a woman's perspective, he was a pure hunk. Tall and well built - with a strong smile that was both open and sincere. He was a handsome man with a thick crop of light blonde hair and a mustache. I felt an instant attraction to him.

I tried to shake myself out of the trance I was falling into. I was a man after all - at least on the inside. What I looked like on the outside didn't matter; it was the inside that counted. But then I looked back at the man in the picture and felt a warm feeling of security, of knowing I had someone like him to take care of me.

I moved Leslie's crib near the kitchen so I could make dinner. Tonight, I would go with something easy - spaghetti. I started boiling the water and placed the sauce into a bowl so I could heat it up in the microwave oven. Just as I was getting ready to put the spaghetti into the boiling water, I heard the front door open.

"DADDY!" the boys yelled as they ran down the hallway to greet him. I watched the man give each of them a big hug and a kiss on the top of their heads.

"Have you been good for mommy today?" he asked them carefully. Both boys said they had been. The question struck me as being funny since I've never known a kid to ever admit he had been bad.

"And how are my two favorite girls?" he said with a wide smile. He looked over at Leslie first, and then gave me a hug and a small kiss on the cheek. The boys started giggling when they saw him kiss me.

"What are you two trouble-makers laughing about," he said in a fake, angry tone that caused them to giggle even more. "Go get cleaned up for dinner boys." He kissed me again then went upstairs to change out of his suit.

It was weird being kissed by a man. But what was even weirder was I wasn't turned off by it. It seemed almost like a natural act to me. He was supposed to be my husband, after all, and I his wife, but still - I was a man deep inside. Then I noticed even that had changed. I didn't feel like a man trapped in a woman's body. I felt like a woman - no - a mother to three beautiful children. The thought sent shivers down my spine - it wasn't supposed to be like this.

"So what did the doctor say?" The voice knocked me out of my daydream.

"He says I'm doing fine." I turned and gave my new husband a look over for the first time. He was tall and muscular like his picture, as if he worked out everyday. There was a thick, blonde mustache on his rather rugged, manly face and his blonde hair was cut rather neatly. I noticed a little of bit thinning on the top. His smile was warm and genuine as he looked over at me with interest, not as a woman in the crowd but someone he was deeply in love with.

"What about sex?" he asked with a devilish smile. It should have been a frightful question to me but it wasn't. For some reason I felt comfortable around him - as if I had known him all these years. Maybe it was because he reminded me of myself in many ways. The way he greeted me when he got home. The way he looked at me with his love-puppy eyes. He was in love with me as much as I had been with my ex-wife years ago.

I gave him a quick, understanding smile. "He says I'm not that fine yet. Maybe in a few weeks when I heal properly."

'What was I saying?' I asked myself. I wanted to go to bed with him right now and it wasn't because I wanted to test out my new equipment. I felt like I wanted - no - needed to be intimate with someone else. It had been some time since I had been with someone - much too long.

"Soon I hope," he whispered to me lovingly. "I miss not being able to show you how much I care about you." He didn't have to show me anything, I knew. Before I had a chance to reply, the kids came bouncing in.

"Is it dinner time yet?" the oldest asked.

"I'm hungry mommy," replied the younger one.

"Sit down at the table, boys. I'm getting ready to serve it up now," I told them, smiling.

******

There was a wailing sound in my head. I tried to snuggle back into my bed, but the noise wouldn't allow it. I raised my head up slightly, and was rewarded by the clear sound of a baby crying. Sighing, I squinted at the clock and saw that it read 2:05 - in the morning." I had forgotten about these wonderful two AM feedings.

Slowly I staggered out of bed and walked over to the small crib in the corner of our bedroom. I managed to sneak a peep at my husband who was still snoring soundly, unaware that his daughter was crying. Typical male, but then I remembered it had been the same way when I was a man. I picked up the crying child, who only seemed to scream louder now that she knew I was there. Leslie wanted to be sure I knew she wasn't happy and required my instant attention.

I took her back to the nursery and was rewarded with a wonderful sight and smell as I removed the diaper.

'What a wonderful way to start the morning,' I said to myself. I didn't waste a lot of time thinking about it; I took care of the job as quickly as I could.

After the unpleasant task was done, I went downstairs into the dark living room. I removed one strap of my nightgown off my shoulder so I could expose my breast to the hungry baby. I sat down in a rocking chair and pulled her close to me. Leslie stopped her screaming and went to work. In a few minutes, the sobbing stopped and all I could hear was the sucking sound of her eating.

I sat back in the chair and held Leslie tightly in my arms. Slowly, I started rocking and humming a lullaby to her. I looked out the window and noticed it was snowing lightly. How strange the weather was around here. Yesterday afternoon I was running outside without a coat, enjoying the sunny day. Now it looked like we would get a few inches of snow before morning. I sat there relaxing and watching the snow fall as I held my warm baby against me.

******

Carol Green stumbled out of her bed and made her way down the dark hallway to her home office. She switched on the tiny nightlight instead of the main light that would have flooded the room blinding her. Plopping down into an oversized chair at her desk, the doctor started typing in some codes on her laptop computer. When Carol was done she hit the send key and waited. A few moments later the main screen came up and a message appeared at the top that read, "Good grief, Dr. Green, don't you ever sleep?" She smiled slightly and entered the residential files of the main menu. Carol knew the people in the bunker would be monitoring her actions with some interest - what else was there for them to do at 2:30 in the morning? Everyone was asleep except those who held night jobs, and there weren't many of those in Andersonville.

The question prompt came up asking who she wanted to find. The doctor typed in "Leslie Patterson - 562-33" and hit return. The men in the bunker, at least she didn't know of any women working down there yet, could still deny her access. However, being that the baby was a temp and not a real person the odds were unlikely that they would. She was right, in less then a minute the information popped up on her screen.

Dr. Green used the mouse to go into interactive mode. The screen was blank; indicating that Leslie had her eyes closed. She could have ordered the baby to open them but decided it wasn't necessary. The baby's program indicated she was nearing the end of her feeding cycle.

Carol Green looked ahead to see what other events the computer had planned for this morning. The baby was supposed to wake up at 5AM, but the doctor canceled that entry. She wanted Mary to be alert when she came back to see her in this morning. Besides, it wasn't nice to throw too much motherhood at someone on their first night.

She re-programmed the baby so it wouldn't wake up until 8AM, just a few minutes before her other kids would. And with a few more simple keystrokes, she programmed Mary's husband to not wake her when he left for work. With all the things that had happened to Mary in the last 24 hours, she needed the sleep.

The baby was picking up some kind of noise that Dr. Green could hear coming in softly over the speaker of her computer. She turned up the volume and heard the sound of a woman singing softly. Carol sat back in her chair listening to the wonderful song - a smile of satisfaction appearing on her face. She continued listening for another minute and then disconnected everything and went back to bed.

******

I was surprised and a little worried to see that Leslie had slept through the rest of the night. It was strange for newborn babies to sleep so long. My husband was already gone - I guess he figured I needed the extra sleep, which I did. He was turning out to be a thoughtful spouse. I was also surprised to see my boys were just now dragging themselves out of bed, their hands rubbing their eyes as they came up and hugged me. Both of them wanted to know what I was going to make them for breakfast.

As I made my way to the kitchen, I was shocked to see sun shining and green grass outside instead of two or three inches of snow. The thermometer next to the window indicated it was a balmy 65 degrees already, but still - there should have been some snow left from last night. There was no doubt about it; Andersonville had some strange weather.

The boys insisted on pancakes, and then disappeared into the other room to watch cartoons. After I got done taking care of them, I checked up on Leslie. She was still sleeping soundly in the car seat I had put her in after feeding her this morning. I told the boys to keep it down, and went upstairs to get dressed, carrying the car seat firmly in my hand. Leslie had become like an accessory of mine; I always took her with me.

The first thing I had to do was decide what to wear. I checked my closet and found an assortment of clothes - including a few dresses and a number of skirts and blouses. It appeared that Mary was a skirt and blouse type of girl. I pulled a pair of pants, but stopped and put them back. For some reason I was curious to see how it felt to wear a skirt. I selected a purple-flowered skirt that went down to my knees and finished it off with a plain, purple top and jacket. It didn't seem all that exciting, but I wanted to ease my way into this.

Next, I went into the bathroom and removed all my clothes to take a shower. When I looked back at the full-length mirror I saw the figure of a naked woman staring back at me.

"That's me!" I gasped slightly. I found myself drawn to look at what I had become. My breasts where bigger than normal due to the milk I was carrying, but they were still going to be a good size after I was done breast feeding. My waist still showed signs of the fat I had carried over from my pregnancy but I was in no way heavy. My tanned, smooth legs were among my best features, and I knew they would look wonderful peeking out from underneath a short skirt. The oddest thing was what I saw, or rather, didn't see. Where there should have been a penis I found a void. Forget about my breasts, smooth legs, wide hips, and everything else - this was the one thing I became focused on. It was like reality was hitting me for the first time despite what I had been through the previous day. The reality that I really was a woman now.

A wave of sadness swept over me. I had died - at least the real Paul Baxter had. Everything I had represented all these years was now gone. I still held the memories of my friends, relatives, and accomplishments, but they no longer belonged to me. And if they were no longer mine, what was to become of them?

I spent the rest of the morning getting the kids and myself ready to go. After dropping the boys off at a friend's house, I made a beeline to Carol Green's office. I had to talk to her, to find out what had happened to my old self. I couldn't have just disappeared like this. When I got to her office, she was just dismissing another client - a young teenage boy who looked to be no older then 14 or 15 years old.

"Thanks for the talk, Doctor," he said with a grin.

"It's always a pleasure Steve," she answered with a smile. "See you next week." The young boy nodded at me as he went by.

"You're early, Mary, but come on in," Carol responded in a welcoming tone.

"This won't take long," I said rather unfriendly as I walked into her office.

"Oh?" she said with a raised eyebrow. "By the way, I like the outfit you're wearing." I gave her a short frown.

"Let's cut to the chase Dr. Green. I'm not here to talk about the outfit I have on. I want some answers as to what happened to Paul Baxter."

"I think you already know the answers, Mary," she replied taking a seat. I just stood there glaring at her.

"Not quite. What about the people who knew me - my ex-wife for instance or the detective assigned to my little girl's case? What do they think happened to me?"

"Paul," she started off in a soft tone, "sit down please. I'll tell you what I know. You see, we couldn't just let you or Mr. Saunders disappear like that. So we staged a car crash where Mr. Saunders was killed. His body, or what is supposed to be him, is being shipped back to his relatives this morning."

"Where did you find a body to replace him?" I gasped in slight horror, while taking a seat close by.

"That really doesn't matter, does it?" Carol responded. "The person we used was already dead, we just changed the body to look like Mr. Saunders."

I grumped, "What about me?"

She smiled slightly. "You decided to make a new life for yourself, at least that's what you'll be telling your ex-wife and friends. Then you'll pack up your things and leave town, never to be heard from again."

"So Judge Herns is going to change me back so I can meet with these people?" I was hopeful.

"No Paul," she explained, "we have people trained to do this. One of them will take your place and inform them of what I just told you. You don't have to worry about any of this."

"But I AM WORRIED," I stated with tears forming in my eyes. "I won't get a chance to say goodbye to any of them. What about my ex-wife?"

Carol came over and put her arm about me. "Your ex-wife has moved on, Paul. I know this may hurt, but she doesn't want you in her life anymore. It's just as painful for her to see you as it was for you not to see her. She needs to put this terrible incident behind her, and to know you're going to do the same. Even though she will never see you again, it'll make her happy knowing you're not going to let your daughter's murder ruin your life anymore."

"But I still love her," I choked out.

"And she still loves you, Paul - but not in the way you need her to love you. You've changed these past three years. She cares about you deeply, but she no longer loves you that way anymore. Your ex-wife has a new man to take care of her, one that'll make her just as happy as you once did. She will always love you Paul, always - but only if you let her go. It's time to let her start over again."

I buried my face into her shoulder and started crying. I knew she was right, I had ruined her life and mine with this crusade - as well as many of the other people I once knew. Now we both had a second chance at life. But there was still one more thing I needed to do before I could move on.

"Carol, will you come to me with to the park please?" I sniffed.

******

I stood there in front of the tree that had once been my daughter's killer. I couldn't make peace with anyone else, but I had to make it with him. Carol Green stood a ways back to observe, allowing me some privacy to speak my mind.

"What you did that night," I began, "started a chain of events that destroyed my life and others around me. I've always blamed you for that but now, now I see I'm also to blame for what happened afterwards. I loved my little girl, Mr. Saunders - and I'll never forgot what you did to her. You're a twisted, ugly monster who doesn't deserve a second chance. But even knowing that, I forgive you, Mr. Saunders. Do you hear me? I forgive you. I won't let you ruin my life anymore. Maybe one day I'll even ask the Judge to have mercy on you, but not today. Today, and for many more days to come, I want you to remember what you did to all those innocent children. You're a monster Mr. Saunders - but I'm praying even monsters can change some day."

I turned and went over to Carol, who was standing there silently. She reached out her arms and I hugged her. I felt so much better inside myself now.

"I believe you said we could have lunch together," I told her, wiping the tears from my eyes. I picked up the car seat next to her that held Leslie.

"This one's on me," Dr. Green replied with a smile, as we strolled off towards a local restaurant.

Not far away, Judge Herns stood in silence watching the two women. She had heard the conversation Mary had had with Mr. Saunders with great satisfaction. Mr. Baxter, now Mary Patterson, had come a long way in such a short time. One day, she would be useful in the growth of this town, after she learned how to be a little more merciful. Still, the Judge was proud to have Mary as member of her order. She turned and headed back to the courthouse through the woods.

Fade out...