Hierarchy of Geekdom

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An article I wrote once upon a time, posted here for reference and easy access


Geek has always had negative connotations within society at large, where being described as a geek tends to be an insult. The term has recently become less condescending, or even a badge of honor, within particular fields and subcultures; this is particularly evident in the technical disciplines, where the term is now more of a compliment denoting extraordinary skill. There is an increasing number of people who self-identify with the term, even when they are nontechnical or do not fit the classic geek archetype.

Also within society at large, "Geek" has recently become more than just another subculture of its own. There are different levels of "Geekdom" at this point: Spaz, Dweeb, Dork, Nerd, and Geek.

This will outline each and characteristics for the Hierarchy of Geekdom.

The first, or lowest, level of the Hierarchy is the Spaz, which is short for Spastic which is truncated from Spasticated Social Leper so as to be much more mildly insulting. You can recognize a Spaz as anyone possessing any three of the five symptoms of being a Spaz:

  • Repulsive body odor
  • Aspires to be a Dweeb
  • Lack of any acceptable social graces
  • Mentally well-developed
  • Limited to the emotional level of early-pubescent kids with no older siblings from which to learn

The second level of the Hierarchy is the Dweeb, a step above the Spaz rung on the ladder. Dweeb isn't short for anything, really, it's just the next on the list. You can recognize a Dweeb as anyone possessing any three of the five symptoms of being a Dweeb, plus at least one from the list of Spaz Symptoms:

  • Easily understands technical explanations the first time, but can't follow the plot of a "chick-flick"1
  • Aspires to be a Dork
  • Believes "social graces" to be without merit and not worth the effort, usually with the excuse that if others can't accept her/him for who s/he is, then they're not worth being around anyway
  • Has close personal relationships with members of the same gender category that go beyond mere friendship, and yet will fly into a panic or rage if the validity of their heterosexuality is questioned -- even in jest
  • Seems to get along better with the items of their chosen "Geek-Arc"2 category than with any of the other members of their own species

The third level of the Hierarchy is Dork, which is actually a truncation of the original phrase, "Dorkimus Maximus," originating in the early 1980s. You can recognize a Dork as anyone possessing any three of the five symptoms of being a Dork, plus at least one each from the lists of Spaz Symptoms and Dweeb Symptoms:

  • Definite affinity for anything having to do, even peripherally, with their chosen "Geek-Arc"
  • Aspires to be a Nerd
  • Makes attempts at social interaction that can often be considered "sweet" or even "endearing" and thus is the first level of the Hierarchy from which it becomes possible to pass on genetic material3 -- but those attempts at social interaction are most usually sadly unsuccessful, nonetheless
  • Understands that hygiene is important and often takes it to an undesirable and sometimes counterproductive extreme, such as yelling at their object of affection, "Don't touch that! You'll get germs on it!"
  • Victims of such self-doubt in the arena of interaction with those they consider desirable, that they very nearly literally fall to pieces when attempting to even pass near them: forgetting their own names or anything more complex, physically harming themselves or others due to inability to focus on other the desired one, or babbling incoherently with no pattern into a stream of non-sequitur... as some examples

The fourth level of the Hierarchy is Nerd, popularized as a widespread term by the 1980s movies romanticizing people that fall into all five of the categories of the Geek Hierarchy. You can recognize a Nerd as anyone possessing any three of the five symptoms of being a Nerd, plus at least one each from the lists of Spaz Symptoms, Dweeb Symptoms, and Dork Symptoms:

  • Completely focused on their chosen Geek-Arc to the point that they're as comfortable talking about anything having to do with it even peripherally as most folks are talking about the weather and can be considered masters of their Geek-Arc, sometimes even more than a Geek would be, but are exceedingly specialized4
  • Aspires to be a Geek
  • Has no trouble adapting to most social situations, but still tends to take the safe route, and while not completely uncomfortable in such settings, tend to be less of the type that would take risks... they fit in and know not only how to mingle, but the importance of doing so (some might even be described as desirable) despite their ineptitude at the activity
  • Tends to have an almost haughty belief that their expertise in their own field is, if not unmatched, difficult to meet or exceed. They show confidence in themselves and their ability in their field, but can sometimes come across as either intimidating or obnoxious to others
  • Last symptom comes in one of two flavors
    1. Unafraid to show emotional intent or involvement in any situations, sometimes to the point of making others uncomfortable with the level to which they "wear their heart on their sleeve"
    2. Distrusts emotion and emotional displays to the point of clamping down on any emotional response of their own and never showing any emotional reaction -- nigh "Vulcan-like" at times, and in some cases actually being disdainful of those who show even the least amount of emotion around them

The fifth and final level of the Hierarchy is Geek, which has come to mean anyone of above average intelligence in current slang, but whose original meaning was one that "Geeked" in Freak Shows of the late 19th and early 20th century western societies, or other possible meanings discussed above. Geeks are the only level of the Hierarchy to throw off most of the fetters of stigma attached to being anywhere in the Geek Hierarchy at all, even reveling in the status of being a Geek. The top of the heap gets the goods, if you will. You can recognize a Geek as anyone possessing all of the five symptoms of being a Geek, plus any number (including zero) from the lists of Spaz Symptoms, Dweeb Symptoms, Dork Symptoms, and Nerd Symptoms:

  • Has an expanded her or his "Geek-Arc" to the point of almost not having one. For example a Band Nerd plays the flute, and a Band Geek plays many, perhaps most, instruments
  • Tendancy to know at least a little about nearly any topic brought up, sometimes to the point of frustrating some Nerds and amusing a lot of folks not on the Hierarchy at all, due to the extent of their knowledge
  • Experts at some of the "lost graces" of society, for example ballroom dancing, and usually fit in most social situations with ease that those on lower rungs of the Hierarchy envy, this sometimes causes them to be the object of desire or outright lust to those they wish to attract -- usually a part of that charm is their own ignorance or disbelief of her or his own desirability
  • Mastery of what most would consider trivia, often to the point that their reputations of knowing LITERALLY everything grows -- whether it's warranted or not
  • Ability to be entertaining to a crowd by use of an expansion of their "Geek-Arc", whether they themselves realize it or not

Footnotes
1: For the purposes of this document, a "chick-flick" is defined as a romance-oriented movie -- including, for example, a Romantic-Comedy
2: "Geek-Arc" is an area of specialty, and is used as a prefix before the title of the level of Geek Hierarchy: Computer Dweeb, Band Dork, and Comic-Book Spaz for examples
3: They're the first ones in the entire list that're capable of "getting laid" or attracting a mate -- as are the higher or subsequent levels
4: For example, using the most obvious case, a Computer Nerd would specialize in PC or Macintosh, and eschew all others. Another example is a Film Nerd focusing on one type or aspect of film or film-making, and not really knowing much about the rest of the field


Tanstaafl,
FrACTured FrIEND

Comments

Boardgame geeks

Here is a well known site for all geeks who love boardgames which I love to play.

http://www.boardgamegeek.com

Hugs,
Jenna From FL
Moderator/Editor
TopShelf BigCloset

Hugs,
Jenna From FL
Moderator/Editor
TopShelf BigCloset
It is a long road ahead but I will finally become who I should be.