Author:
Taxonomy upgrade extras:
 |
That is, me that's being exploited. I seem to have found my way out of a bad situation, into one that is worse, and I can't seem to ken my way out of it. I really and truly haven't a clue what to do here, and this seems to be the only way I get any kind of answers at all.
I've tried asking for advice and help privately, but I'm at wit's end and no one seems to be answering. |
|
| I was on my way back to Michigan when I got the information that I no longer had a place to stay. I sent out a distress call, of sorts, and people responded. A friend of mine in Kansas City said I could stay with him and his grandmother, in exchange for some help with chores.
Some help with chores has turned into most of my time, and even being "loaned out" to other relatives WITHOUT EVEN ASKING ME! A reasonable amount of work, I would not be averse to. I have been here 34 days. I have put in somewhere between 156 (her estimate) and 197 (my estimate) hours of work. The Missouri State Minimum Wage is $7.05 per hour. That's the minimum. Using her estimate and the minimum wage, that's $1,099.80 worth of work. For a bed, food (a snack, a light meal, and an average meal per day usually), and utilities including access to the internet. She still says I'm not pulling my weight. She says I make it "very hard" to like me. And, she holds the spectre of eminent homelessness over me.... every... single... day... It's not light work I'm doing, either... raking leaves, trimming hedges, scrubbing floors (by hand), moving furniture, climbing out on the roof to clean windows on the outside, and toting the full gallon jugs she uses to make wine just to name a few. When I have attempted to stand up to her, she accuses me of outright lying about it. Who is my friend supposed to believe? His friend, who he only really has known well about a year, or his grandmother... who raised him when his mother was disabled and unable? I need advice. I need somewhere to go that'll be fair. I need to be able to have time to LOOK for a damn job so I can have enough money to go to Australia later this year! And yes, the Australia move is a MUST, as it's going to be my future. My lovely lovely girlfriend/fiancé is there waiting for me... every day that we're apart is agonizing. What I'm looking for, is someone willing to let me use a basement or even a couch as a homebase while I earn money and get my passport and visa going, in exchange for a FAIR amount of work... if it's possible in any way! The best answer would be something in the Kansas City area... as that's where I am now... I'm just at the end of my rope and it feels like this old lady (86 years old) will kick the chair out from under me at any time. I realize that I have a hard time standing up to her because of my grandmother issue/fear. I'm scared of old ladies. It's irrational, but it's very real. |
||
|
Edeyn Hannah Blackeney |
||
| Wasn't it Jim Henson who said, "Without faith, I am nothing," after all? No, wait, that was God... Sorry, common mistake to make... | ||
Comments
Well, you are right that is
Well, you are right that is exploitation.
My only suggestion is what you have already decided, move out. I'm in Nashville in low income housing myself, or I'd suggest you move here.
I wish I could do more to help you.
----
May the Stars Light Your Path
Maid Joy
If I weren't so far away
I'd offer ya a place to stay with me. I've got pretty cheap rent, so I wouldn't need that, though I must admit I'm kind of messy and quite the clutterbug- I've got bags of things my roommate left when he was kicked out that I still haven't gone through, and that's been darn near eight months now, and the place that I was gonna use as the living room is currently full of piles of books I started to sort through and then abandoned- about two months ago on that.
If you continue to have problems finding somewhere to stay, though, I'd let ya stay here for a while. Hot Springs doesn't have the most thriving job market, but it would probably be good enough to find something until you had enough saved up to get to Australia. I've not got much- not even a couch to lend, since that's what I haveta sleep on- but what I do have is what amounts to an extra room, so there would be a little privacy, though not a lot of space.
Melanie E.
Are you sure...
Are you sure your name isn't Oliver Twist? Or maybe Olivia...
I'd love to help out, but two things stand in the way. I live in northern Canada, meaning you'd need a work visa to get a job here. And the little town I live in has just had it's major employer shut down, so jobs are really scarce.
Sorry, but I do wish you good luck. BTW, check your email, I sent you a reply earlier today.
Brute
Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue
Set terms
I'm much too far away to help with a place to stay. However, advice I can do ...
May I suggest a written set of terms? A simple contract. An agreement as to how many hours you should work for your "room and board", what you get in return, time of your own for rest/relaxation/job search ...
That way each party knows what they're getting, and what's expected of them. It's FAIR, and if she refuses to agree to such, you'll know she has no intention of being fair.
You may have some leverage in that she probably doesn't want to lose her 'slave'. Yes, she can throw you out, but then she has no one to fetch and carry. You know the situation better than I, but you might be able to play that card.
I hope this helps. Good luck.
- vessica
What the F&%k!
Edeyn, I really feel for you. The situation you describe would be hard for anyone.
The last few weeks I’ve been calling people I’ve worked with for years and haven’t spoke to that much lately. In the majority of those phone calls they have gone out of their way to tell me how much I’ve helped them or how much they admire the way I do things. Those comments have been out of left field, but much appreciate because most of the people have known me 20-30 years.
And yet, the majority of days I end up staring in the mirror at some point and saying, “What the f*&k.â€
I’m afraid, Edeyn, life is like that. I don’t know anyone who can honestly say they don’t have really bad days, no matter how wonderful their lives appear to be.
Not to belittle your problem with your friend’s grandmother. It’s hard living with ANYONE, even someone you love will eventually get on your nerves. It’s really hard living with someone who is more than a generation older than you.
She is coming from a paradigm that is hard to imagine. One of my part-time employees is in her eighties, and sometimes she says and does things that are just awful, but we all try to keep it in the context of who she is.
Try to imagine. . .when your friend’s grandmother was twenty-five it was 1948. Warner Brothers showed their first colored news reel. Mahatma Gandhi was assassinated. The Supreme Court ruled that teaching religion in a public school violated the constitution. The Hells Angels was founded. And, Land Rovers were first introduced.
That all occurred when she was 25.
My mother was a little older than her, and my mother worked for her room and board in high school. She often told me what she had to do to earn her room and board, and it seemed to me like she was an indentured servant. Your friend’s grandmother might have had a similar experience or knew people who did.
A few summers ago we had a friend of our son’s live with us for the summer. He was supposed to do some things to pay for his room and board. If he worked a total of ten hours all summer I would be surprised. It was just an uncomfortable position for us. Nice kid, but he obviously thought he was more of a guest than anything else.
I don’t know what to tell you. You’re responsible for your own attitude, and it sounds like you need to give her an opportunity to explain things to you. She is in a position to make the rules. You must then decide if you can live within her rules. Whether or not the rules are fair seems to matter little since she has such a strong position of power.
Life is sort of like that at times.
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)