1. It's quite clear that the clerks in the department store are being mean, and they are careful to maintain plausible deniability. Although Macy's stores usually have separate changing cubicles, the doors are usually, at least in California, Washington, and Oregon, slatted shutters with ample space at the top and bottom to permit observation and to discourage shoplifting and other pilferage.

It's also true that many women aren't terribly careful about arranging their garments when they walk out into the hall to show their friends the proposed purchase, and some don't bother to claose the door. That's why the changing facilities for men and women are typically strictly segregated in every department store, and some stores, many bridal outlets, for example, allow *no* men into the changing area, which is often open to allow many visitors and the proper sweep of gown and veil. *No* men. Period. Many women would be highly uncomfortable if an obvious man walked through the changing area in most stores, even if his object was *only* to try things on.

It's likewise clear that in whatever alternate reality the story is set, Iowa has a strong anti-discrimination law in place, as the Principal of the school was *very* worried about it. In the present day, Iowa has anti-discrimination legislation on the books, although it was only enacted last year, in 2007.

2. The guard is part of a whole family or gang of sexually-abusive or complicit individuals who uses the accusation to attempt his own little extortion racket. If one reads the story carefully, all these grotty men know each other or are directly related. The grotty coach is related to the man waiting behind the peephole, the guard who accosts the protagonist knows that another guard is both a pedophile and a blackmailer, yet does nothing, and on and on.

3. Well, he's depicted from the start as a reckless young man who often says and does things he later regrets, and this claim is particularly "off the top of his head" as he attempts to lie his way out of his embarrassment. We note that his mother doesn't actually *believe* his "tall tales" for a moment, but allows him to "dig his own grave" in what amounts to perplexed astonishment.

4. Sports bras do not, as a general rule, look like muscleman tee-shirts. The angle of the bra straps, especially at the back, and the close fit of the armholes (to avoid revealing too much of the breast when viewed from the side) is completely wrong. Whilst some *men* might not notice, most women will, and quite a few will be able to identify the brand and model from a random glimpse, just as many men can identify the make and year of a sports car by the fleeting image of a tail light or bonnet in heavy traffic. It's also true that *any* bra will be visible, at least as odd "bra lines," especially the band, in almost any garment other than a space suit, because the eye picks up the tiniest clues about people as they shift and move. He will be hard-pressed to find female clothes with fabric as thick or stiff as a lot of men's clothing, which will make successful concealment of his deception still more difficult. It may be that his mother "laid it on a little thick," but she was also trying to discourage him from continuing with his profoundly silly plan to justify his rash boast *and* get his moped. All in all, I think both her advice and purpose were apropos.

5. His embarassment and foolish tangle of outright lies upon fibs, wild folly upon mere misapprehension, is part of the plot. Almost every misunderstanding can be cleared up with a simple explanation, but people *will* go on without. Looking at the work of acknowledged masters of the farce, there are few which *don't* depend on the characters keeping secrets from each other.

Take, for example, at *AN IDEAL HUSBAND*, or *THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST*, both by Oscar Wilde (a closeted gay man), or almost any story by Wodehouse, and they could all be cleared up in a few words, if only the characters weren't twits.

Likewise, the intricate intertwining of plots and subplots is a tradition in this genre, much appreciated by Victorian audiences, who had much more time on their hands to think about literary works, not having had the opportunity to destroy their brains through exessive indulgence in television programmes whose paragons of wit are largely modeled on The Three Stooges and every plot point explained by the next commercial break.

Victorian audiences *expected* to be set to dificult puzzles, where modern audiences expect to be *entertained* and to have the punchlines to all the jokes both telegraphed and then rehashed, so as not to leave anyone behind.

As I said, I liked the story, and in this context the story is astonishing. I suspect that Oscar Wilde would be amused.

Cheers,

Puddin'
------------------
I married the first man I ever kissed.
When I tell this to my children, they
just about throw up.
--- Barbara Bush

To understand a man, you should walk
a mile in his shoes. If what he says
still bothers you, that's ok, because
you'll be a mile away from him and
you'll still have his shoes.
--- Anonymous