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We (Amy and Liam and I) have spent a wonderful week with a friend. A friend who came down to help just in case Amy was "laid up" after her surgery.
Amy's surgery went fine, recovery has been excellent and as a result we've manage to be out and about doing things most days.
We've been to flea markets, friends houses, the condo pool, and even had friends over for hot dogs and conversation, twice in fact.
It's been a wonderful week, a great Memorial Day weekend, even if we didn't really plan it that way.
But unfortunately it's all been stained by the fact that a member of our friends family, has decided it would be inappropriate for her to show her body off in a two-piece bikini (even a high-waisted bikini) because, well as best I can tell she doesn't want her OWN kids to feel comfortable being anything other than skinny and outwardly perfect.
We all know, there is no real thing as outwardly perfect, and when you point at someone with a debilitating disease whom has trouble even walking and tell them they need to work at loosing weight, or to not feel comfortable in their body, then you, you are the ASS.
There is no coming back from that, there is no "high ground" of saying "I wasn't trying to shame you, it's all in your head".
There is nothing but the pure bullshit you have constructed, put forth for the world to see, and then delete when no one backs your stand.
You miss, are WRONG. Your niece, is in tears on my couch, and it's not her fault. It's YOURS.
Comments
Kroger Trip
I went to Kroger tonight. It is a local Texas supermarket chain. While at Kroger I saw a woman who must have weighed in about 250 pounds (most of it butt) and could not have been over 5-5 (I am 4-11 3/4 so I am pretty conscious of other people's height). She was wearing a skin tight tank top and a pair of plaid short shorts that looked like they were painted on.
My first reaction was amazement that anyone would walk outside looking like that. I then took a few moments to chastise myself for being bothered by something that had exactly zero impact/effect on my own life. If she is happy with her appearance and it is not offensive in any way to others, what fucking business is it of mine?
We need to spend more time looking at ourselves for fault, and less time focusing on what we perceive as fault in others.
Tell your friend that she only has to please herself and nobody else has the right to judge her.
Be kind to those who are unkind, tolerant toward those who treat you with intolerance, loving to those who withhold their love, and always smile through the pains of life.
You must go to your local
You must go to your local Walmart to see spandex stretched to the limit.
Karen
Truisms
I am reminded of this truism that my father used to share with us. I am a Navy Brat and have lived in many places around the world. My father used to speak to us about the nude beaches in Europe as well as SoCal.
"The only people you ever see on a nude beach are people you would never want to see on a nude beach."
Be kind to those who are unkind, tolerant toward those who treat you with intolerance, loving to those who withhold their love, and always smile through the pains of life.
Which misses the whole point of nude beaches
As the ugliest fattest person on a California nude beach a few times I was never made to feel like I didn't belong there. And there were some beautiful girls and nice looking guys there. Who they really had contempt for was the clothed oglers at the perimeter, who were all about apprising and judging what they could see at the nude beach... like we were there for their benefit, the creeps.
"Government will only recognize 2 genders, male + female,
as assigned at birth-" (In his own words:)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1lugbpMKDU
My Point Exactly
Nude beaches are there for the comfort of those who go to be, not the ones who go to look. It is all about participation, not judgement.
Be kind to those who are unkind, tolerant toward those who treat you with intolerance, loving to those who withhold their love, and always smile through the pains of life.
so wrong on many levels
especially when they are not fully able, or just have a hard time losing weight. most of my moms family are quite large, so am i, but i did it to myself, just using that for an excuse. it took one of my aunts and a cousin getting gastric bypass for them to lose weight.
but when someone is already having body issues, its just crap to have anyone, much less a family member who should be well aware of the situation, to do that. I know you are helping her all you can on your end, just let her know others are outraged also by the way she was treated. even strangers can care, sometimes more than family
Teresa L.
Amy is one of a kind
The outside picture we mentally snap when we first look never tells us what is inside. The beautiful exquisitely, impeccably dressed, gotta be a front page model, may look like America's Sweetheart and be a bitch from Hell on the inside. She has no patience with those who aren't fawning over her telling her how beautiful she is.
From your post, Amy is one of America's Sweethearts. If she wasn't she wouldn't have cared what others thought. I'd take a thousand Amy's with their tender caring heart over one narcissistic princess. I'd bet a hundred dollars, Amy would be my friend whether we were working the garden, hauling chicken manure, cruzing the flea markets, eating a Big Mac, or dinning at Ricardo's after the Opera.
Only thing, if Amy is going to eat hotdogs, she's going to have to do it without me. I absolutely refuse to eat one more hotdog in my life. That friendship business only goes so far. Okay, maybe for her, one last time, if I bury it in ketchup, chili, mustard, relish, mayonnaise, cheese....
Love you Amy, chin up girl. You have friends even if some of us are thousands of miles away.
Don't take life too seriously hon. If they are too shallow to take you as a friend, they don't deserve you.
always,
Barb
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
Sniping at others
I see people trying to control the actions of others, and feel ashamed when I do it. Not sure, but I think that women are, can be, very snippy, even more so than men. I do own a tiny bikini and have worn it but feel so um, NAKED! It complicates matters that living the life of a very covered Muslim woman most of the time for the past 12 years makes abandoning all that feel really abnormal and slutty.
People should wear what they wish.
Gwen