Two months ago, on November 30th, I completely disconnected with reality as my body fought for life. It started while I was out driving and blacked out. When I finally came through, I was driving in the middle of nowhere and couldn't find my way home. I GPS'd my address in my phone and made it back. I got to my driveway and banged on the door. Felix let me in. I went to bed and blacked out again. The next thing I know the paramedics are leading my outside, naked, to get me into an ambulance. That's the last real memory I have. I remember my delusions vividly but they were not kind. For two weeks I existed in a nightmare of my own creation while I ran 103 fever.

What happened was my blood went sepsis. My own body was poisoning me. Meanwhile, in reality, I was tearing out tubes, breaking restraints, and being horrible. They had to use prison shackles to keep me at bay. I even flipped of a "tough love" nurse. I never do things like that.

Then two weeks later, in my delirium. I had a vision of being trapped and tortured (probably how I interpreted real life) and then my pastor showed up. He told me I wasn't where I thought I was, but was in the hospital and if I didn't quit tearing the tubes out I would die in 5 days. That's when I came out of my private hell.

The hospital was no picnic. Due to prior misbehavior I was shackled still and every time I reached for a tube they got mad at me. I couldn't understand it, but when Felix told me what had happened, it makes sense. I was being tube fed and on a ventilator.

2 months later (today), I am finally back home. I am weak, I need to build up stamina. I dropped 80 lbs. (still well over 500), and my bank account took a hit, but it could have been worse. I don't know when I'll return to writing, but hopefully soon. I didn't see the post from felix so I missed reading the well wishes, but I thank all who prayed for me. I was unable to get on BCTS at the hospital and I couldn't blog on my phone.

Much Love

Katie