It was one of those rare uneventful days when nothing much was going on. Even more rare for Whateley Academy than most of the world, a time without ninjas, jumped up panty thieving monkeys, or international criminals visiting was a time to be savored. All in all, a perfect day to relax... except Toni had heard the erstwhile Queen of the West curse. That alone was enough to set her on edge, and compelled her to keep an eye out.

So when she vanished after classes, just flat out faded from sight entirely as soon as her last class of the day ended, Toni knew. What she didn't know, was where to find her. Hours of searching the campus turned up nothing, and Toni was beginning to get worried. She needed reinforcements.

Poe cottage was almost eerily calm for a change, further setting her on edge as she made her way to the wing she shared with her team. Perhaps Ayla knew where to find Fey.

As she passed the room she shared with elf royalty, she noticed the light was on through the crack at the bottom of the door. She could have left the light on this morning, but....

She opened the door and was immediately hit with a smell that would put a distillery to shame. A large one. There were two empty bottles of something on the floor, and a very smashed redhead slumped on her bed.

“Another bottle, Koehenes.”

“Are you quite certain, your majesty? It seems....”

“I am certain, Koehenes. Another bottle. Now, if you please.”

The little annoyance scampered off, cowed by the hint of steel in the redhead's tone. There was no doubt which who was in control of her body at the moment; Aunghadhail, the genteel and refined noble, was drunk off her butt. Toni shut the door.

“Please, sit. I shall share with you a tale of woe.”

The effort required to smother her normal snark had to show on her face, but Aunghadhail wasn't looking. Toni stayed silent, not wanting to fight off a few hundred conjured nasties. Koehenes returned, bearing another bottle, and Aunghadhail held out her glass and started.

“It started as a joke. A practical joke on a tribe of unwashed monkeys that were beginning to build their first mud huts together. An artificer, whose name has since been scrubbed from our histories, decided on a novel response to the cries for knowledge and power the species screamed into the winds; he decided to make them prove they were worthy.”

She emptied the glass with a noisy gulp, holding it out again. Toni watched, transfixed, as it was refilled.

“So he built a sword, a glittering symbol of power for the barely evolved masses. This sword was to be a symbol of favor and a badge of office. As such only the most enlightened of the monkeys were to have a hope of wielding it.

Well he worked for decades... and he succeeded. He succeeded far too well. He made a sword far more powerful than it needed to be; the most powerful sword on record in fact, for any culture or people. And he made it intelligent, may his soul be cursed for all eternity.”

Toni had never seen this before; the normally unflappable Aunghadhail was shaken to her very core.

“Is Nikki alright?”

The redhead nodded sharply.

“My host is perfectly fine; she was gracious enough to allow me this time to... recover myself. She is in turn being buffered against my own acts. At any rate, to continue:

The sword was intelligent, with an ideal of what an intelligent being should be. An ideal comprised of all that was considered just and good in the world; an ideal that not even my people could live up to. Imagine the artificer's surprise when none could draw the blade from the stone he had forged it from. Not even he, the creator of it.”

She turned to Toni, eyes gleaming.

“You see, the intent was to allow the lowly humans to try to draw the blade... and fail. Then an elf would step forward, the creator of course, and draw the blade with ease. A way to show the humans their proper place, and a fine joke indeed.”

Another expensive looking drink gulped down in a blink.

“Only the blade would not co-operate. It would not be treated as a joke, did not like the idea of its existence being used to mock, and it would only offer itself to someone worthy. No human nor elf was considered such, and there the issue might have been settled.

However, centuries later, a certain crafty human created a human worthy. When the true purpose of the sword had long since passed into memory, and even the yearly gathering around the stone had become a carnival affair and the offer for help that had once been extended was no longer needed, a mage raised a child to be a soul so white that the sword would respond, as an experiment. That human later became a king; I met him once, he was one of the gifted of your kind, much as you are... he was formidable, and the blade made him more so.”

Another gulp and the goblet was dutifully filled yet again by a now clearly worried Koehenes. Toni's best guess was that it wouldn't be long now before the potent liquor finished its' work. Somehow she doubted it was coincidence that everyone else had stayed away so far. She had enough sense to stay silent, swallowing the many questions that rose.

“Contrary to popular historical belief, that king did not fall to a rival army alone. He fell when facing an evil from the timeless depths beyond space. You, of course, know of the ones I speak, though I dare not name them outright. Great kingdoms were being ground to so much dust around this world, and civilizations were falling like shorn wheat. He defended all who came to him, fought aside all who asked. Human and elf alike, who sought his protection from the coming dark... and he fell when the sword, that twisted idea gone awry, deserted him in his, and our, greatest need.”

Another drink and the latest bottle was empty. Aunghadhail contemplated the empty goblet a moment before throwing it aside; Koehenes made a beautiful diving catch to save it. Toni grinned inwardly while digesting the fact that the mighty sword of legend, Excalibur, had been made as a joke to rub human faces in elven superiority. And that it had backfired spectacularly. It had to be Excalibur; no other legendary sword she knew fit. And since coming to Whateley, she had learned her sword legends. She waved her hand at the mess in the room.

“An interesting tale to be sure, but what does it have to do with... this?”

Aunghadhail crossed the room in a flash; Toni could have dodged, but chose not to, and caught her instead to keep her from face planting. After all, Nikki would not be happy if she came back to a swelled nose. The one time Queen of the West hissed in her ear:

“Were you not listening? The sword is awake! It is active and moving again! It would only do so if it felt it were needed, and one worthy of wielding it were at hand! But since the first choice, only those of that man's line would be considered... and then there is the power involved.....”

“Power?”

The redhead all but shouted now, voice hoarse suddenly.

“Yes, power! The sword gets stronger the more age it gathers! I shudder to think what it is capable of now! It was capable of feats of magic rivaled only by the strongest of mages centuries ago! I grow cold thinking of the destruction it could wreak now!”

Now the picture was clear, and the panic as infectious as the flu.

“So what do we do? How do we find it? We need the team for this!”

Aunghadhail stopped her before she opened the door, by the simple expedient of collapsing on her.

“No! We dare not, the thing might take offense! If it feels it is needed, it would be most difficult to stop... and we may not like the result if we manage the feat. It has had centuries to act in the world again, should it have been inclined. It has chosen now. No, we must be wary, but cautious.”

“So why tell me?”

“Simple really. Now someone other than myself knows. Not even my host knows the full story; now should humans need to act, you will be able to inform those who are best suited to do so. That and... I needed someone to talk to about the ghosts of the past. You should think twice however about getting my host and your friends involved however. And then think it over a third time; dealing with that artifact of a bygone era would be most difficult.”

“...Right.”

The redhead patted her face clumsily.

“Now now, do not be that way. Your team does not need to be involved in every great happening in the world. In fact it might be better for all concerned if they were not.”

Then she keeled over in a dead faint. Koehenes wrung his tiny hands.

“Relax, I'll help.”

And Toni put the body of one of her best friends to bed.

The mess however, that was koehenes's problem. She had things to think about.

….............................

I stretched before fully awake, comfortable and warm, yet squished. My legs had kept hitting something when I tried to stretch them out, and that woke me up. I opened my eyes to find Sergei, Devon, Liz, and some large man I didn't know all staring at me.

“Umm... hi?”

Way to go, Campbell. You sounded like an idiot. A high voiced idiot.

“Good evening, Rose.”

The stress Devon gave the word told me he was saying a name. His gaze made me think he wanted it to be my name. I'd played such games before, but I wouldn't lie. If asked I'd tell the truth about who I was. Why did he want me to lie? Maybe he was worried about the name thing; girls didn't have boy names after all. I couldn't see why that would pose a problem yet, but Devon had to have a reason. But I'd still tell the truth if asked; to do otherwise was just... unthinkable.

Liz, a friend of Devons I knew by reputation (she was scary) all but jumped on me.

“You O.K.? You feel any pain anywhere? Any stiffness? How many fingers am I holding up?”

“I feel fine, no pain or stiffness. And you're holding up three fingers. How long was I asleep?”

I didn't really want to get up, not in front of so many people. My new body was embarrassing. But Liz was scary, and pulling on me.

“Come on, let's get you dressed.”

She pulled me off the couch bodily, I barely avoided getting tangled in the comforter and taking us both down.

“Um, Liz, I'm fine, I can dress myself!”

I didn't want her to see. What if I wasn't really a girl somehow? What if something was different? Would she freak out or something? I mean normal girls couldn't... do the things I had done. Could they? If they could why were some of them getting beat up or going off in cars with guys they didn't know for money or the other stuff I'd seen them do?

“Alright, strip.”

Startled, I realized we had made it to the bathroom and I was now locked inside with Liz. A Liz who was holding a small plastic shopping bag. I had no doubt that if Liz could jump or run as fast as I had after becoming a girl, she would already be doing it.

I stripped, pulling the knot on the sheath and carefully catching X. I propped him up in the corner and shucked the robe, wincing at the mess still around me. I really needed to get to work on this before Devon fired me or something.

“Damn, girl. It's only been a couple weeks since I saw you last! That was some growth spurt you hit. I could almost be jealous. What possessed you to dye your hair pink though?”

Girl underwear was thrust under my nose. Matching hot pink girl underwear. I put the bottoms on with a shrug; girls wore girls underwear. The top... the bra was something I had no idea how to deal with. How did you get your hands around to your back like you'd need?

“Here, here. Let me show you. Never dealt with a bra before?”

I ignored her amused tone; after all, she was trying to help me.

“No.”

She hooked the contraption around my stomach, reversed it, and pulled it up, gently squishing my new things into the cups provided. It was apparently adjustable, because she did so.

“Well what did you do, bind them somehow? I mean I can understand not wanting to spring for a bra if you don't have the money, but you never showed a hint of those puppies.”

She shook her head.

“Perfect B's. I thought so. You could have hid those before, if they were smaller, but that's some fast growth spurt. And I could have sworn you were shorter before.”

“I was. I have no idea how it happened.”

Standing in the mirror was a young girl in underwear a shade darker than her hair. I did not like what Liz handed me next. Skirts were impractical, drafty and not warm at all. This one matched my new underwear, and cut unevenly. It was longer on the right side than left. Weird, was that on purpose of that? It was also made of some sort of plastic or something; just very impractical.

“Don't look at me like that; I had to work with what I had. Somehow a moth had gotten into my old stuff, so I had to go to goodwill.”

I winced again. I was familiar with goodwill; contrary to what most people thought, they were not a charity. Liz had paid for these clothes, which meant I owed her. She poked me.

“I know that look. You can pay me back by putting on the skirt.”

Well at least she hadn't seen anything unusual about my body; there was no way she wouldn't have said anything if she had. I put the skirt on; I could always trade it away for something later. The girls I knew were forever trading clothes away, many times the more impractical the better.

The top was better, some sort of soft sheer light black sweater that was missing it's left shoulder on purpose. Despite that, it had long sleeves I could roll up and would likely be warmer than my shirts, which would come in handy pretty soon. Especially since my coat was now trashed and probably wouldn't fit me anymore anyway. I threw it over my head and it was rapidly adjusted; it showed my bra strap; was it supposed to?

White socks and black sneakers completed the idea; I put those on, hopping on one leg. Then my head was snagged out of the air, and a brush was applied to my hair.

“I know you brushed this before, but you fell asleep with it wet and that always tangles it.”

My hair was long for some reason, and as impractical as the skirt. I would have to get it cut and soon. I might also have to dye it; the pink was probably going to draw too much attention as it was. Liz ran a brush through it several times, but it seems her predictions of tangles were wrong; the brush slid through without resistance as I tied the shoes. They were a little large, but I'd dealt with that before. I retied X's sheath to me as well, needing no urging. As soon as I did, I felt better; energized.

Done, Liz ushered me out of the bathroom.

The other three in the apartment gaped the moment I appeared; I wanted to hide.

“Jeez, Liz. Tease her hair some and she could be an '80's pop star. Couldn't you find anything closer to this century?”

“Shut it you; her sizes were unusual and I did the best I could with what I had.”

Devons face clearly showed his doubts. I had some myself, but I wasn't about to air them. After all, Liz had been nice enough to get me the clothes in the first place. Without them I'd still be in the robe. I would ask how much I owed her later; when I could actually pay.

The food was all but gone, but there looked to be enough left over for sandwiches, and there was an empty chair. I was hungry again, which worried me. But I had been invited before, and the food was just sitting there, so I grabbed some bread and started making a sandwich.

“What time is it?”

“Almost 10 pm.”

Ack! I slept the day away... again!

“Crap! I'm sorry Devon, I'll get started right away.”

I could at least clean the place one last time to get rid of all my messes and such before turning myself in. I'd also need to find a way to pay both of them back before being jailed for however long I'd be jailed for. X sent waves of comfort at me, though underlying I caught the assurance that I wouldn't be spending any time in prison; he would intervene if it came to that. I was pretty sure I didn't want him to intervene, and made him aware of that fact... somehow. He gave a sort of shrug.

“You O.K. Rose?”

I returned my attention to those around me and the half eaten ham sandwich in my hand. The jolly looking large man caught my interest. He must be important if Devon had let him in the apartment.

“Yes, sorry. Was just discussing things with X. So who are you, sir?”

“Arnold Edison, a lawyer. Devon's asked me to provide legal counsel to you, though I'm not sure you need any. A more clear cut case of self defense I've never heard.”

I finished my sandwich and bowed my head.

“It wasn't self defense sir, it was murder. I actively sought the giant out and struck with intent to kill.”

“Look up at me, Rose.”

I looked up and his eyes caught mine. There was a wisdom in them, a world weary experience, that I could tell mirrored mine.

“You killed someone actively engaged in killing dozens of people; one who would not stop unless stopped. Indeed, one who by all accounts was as dangerous as they come. I would have a hard time believing it, personally, but that sword on your hip tells another story. Devon says you don't lie.”

Omitting things could count, but I'd never lie outright.

“I... dislike to, yes.”

“And you did say that you sought him out, attacked, and killed the giant. Why?”

“X told me Devon was in danger. That others were in danger too. I was awake and couldn't just let them be hurt because I didn't do anything.”

He stared into my eyes for a long moment. I had trouble meeting that gaze for long, but at X's urging I kept it up as long as I could.

“I believe you. In that case, you did nothing wrong, and I'll defend you if necessary. First things first; we call the police, and I tell them you will be turning yourself in tomorrow morning. Then we strategize; go over what you're going to say, and why. Then we sleep. Any questions?”

That worked nicely for me.

“None, sir.”

“Can you tell me where your sword came from?”

I pondered that; I didn't see the harm in it.

“He appeared in my hand when I called for him, sir. Before that I don't know, and he hasn't said.”

Mr. Edison pulled a piece of ham over and nibbled on it absently.

“Have you asked?”

“Of course sir. He doesn't talk exactly, and doesn't answer me when I ask.”

I didn't think X wanted to answer yet, and I could respect that. Everyone had secrets, even magic swords.

“So, this 'X', is intelligent?”

“Yes sir. Probably smarter than me.”

I gestured towards the juice, and Devon nodded consent. So he would throw that out too if I didn't drink it? Weird. I poured a glass with a shrug. I had almost taken my first drink when Mr. Edison spoke again.

“So why you? Why did X come to you at all, or help you? The sheath obviously belongs with the sword. Devon and Sergei both claim it showed up on you a week ago. Was X hiding, as it were?”

I sorted through the sudden flood of sensations and images X sent me in response.

“No sir. He says I needed the sheath, for some reason, so he sent it ahead. As for him, he was traveling. I'm not sure from where, but it took several days. As for why, he says I'm someone's heir, and a worthy partner for him.”

I didn't tell Mr Edison that the impression I got was that X had been alone and partnerless a very long time. I didn't agree that I was worthy of a magic sword, especially one as magnificent as X. but his answer was to flood me with warmth and happiness; he was overjoyed to meet me and talk to me.

“Alright. So you didn't find or steal X from anywhere.”

How dare he!

“No sir, of course not! I don't steal.”

“At all?”

“At all, sir. I've never stolen anything in my life. At least, not that I remember.”

“Not even a piece of gum, or candy? Something small?”

I shook my head.

“No sir, not even gum or candy.”

Mr Edison's jaw dropped. Was it really that surprising that I liked to pay for things? Stealing was wrong, so why would I do it? Devon looked on, and joked:

“He's a defense attorney kid, I think you broke him.”

Why would he be surprised by that? Didn't he defend the innocent?

“So you don't lie, you don't cheat, you don't steal, ever?”

“Not if I can avoid it. I might have lied as a kid, I'm not sure. But the cheating reminds me; I need to get started on that bathroom. If I leave it any longer the stains will set.”

In truth, I feared they might have set already, but another hour would remove all doubt, and then it'd take much more effort to get it clean. I stood, and managed to hide the wobble.

“So you have a deal with Devon, Rose? You clean in exchange for what?”

“A warm place to sleep sometimes. Food and drink, mainly. Stuff like sandwiches and juice.”

Mr. Edison said something sharply to Devon, but I didn't quite catch it as I closed the door. I didn't want anyone to see the state his bathroom was in; it was in a sad state, and my fault. Luckily the cleansing agents I needed were already here. So I wouldn't have to go back out to get them. There were even garbage bags for the many now empty bags of ice.

I started there first, while spraying the tub liberally. I wasn't sure what the gunk in the tub was, but it was disgusting. I had to be very careful not to stain my new clothes. A much longer round of scrubbing than I liked, and the bathroom was finally clean. I pulled the garbage out behind me and closed the door.

All conversation ceased the moment I reappeared, which meant they had been talking about me. I didn't mind that, I'd be pretty interested too. Maybe Mr. Edison knew the answers to some of my questions; Devon knew them I think, but he seemed unwilling to answer them yet. Mr. Edison might be more forthcoming. I started in on the mess I'd made of the dining room, while my silent audience looked on.

Once all the trash and old wrappers were bagged, I moved on to what little remained of the food. After a day out, it was likely spoiled or close. But I'd gone hungry too many times, and I knew where Devon kept his few plastic containers. The berries, sides, vegetables, I crammed into those containers (Some had to be crammed in like to like, for example the few strawberries left and the raspberries.) and put them in the fridge. I'd eat them if no one else would.

A final spritz and polish of the table, a sweeping of the floor (I was really messy earlier, it seemed) and it was time to move on. I started down the stairs. Liz stopped me.

“Rose, where are you going?”

“Downstairs of course. It's been a week or more, right?”

She nodded.

“Well I haven't cleaned yet this week then, and I need to pay Mr. Williams... sorry, Devon back for all the food. I owe him a lot.”

Silently I despaired. I owed Devon more than just a lot. I owed him probably a years worth of labor in return for today's meal alone. I'd never be able to pay it all back. Liz dropped her hand from my arm and down I went. If Devon let me sleep in the lounge again, that would be nice; but I had to get the gym clean first, or I'd never rest easy.