The following is a copy of the letter I intend to distribute among my co-workers.

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To all my friends and co-workers at CARTS:

As many of you are aware, I have been undergoing some changes in the last year or more. This is due to the simple fact that I am transgendered...that is, a woman in a mans body. I am treating this as simply a mistake made at birth and I am undergoing constant therapy and medical intervention to correct the 'birth defect' I was born with.

Many of you have seen a picture of me as my 'real' self, and through talking with you I have found, to my grateful surprise, that most, if not all, of you seem to be supportive in this, saying that “I need to do what I have to, for myself.” Your open and accepting attitudes have made this decision easier to make. It has taken me many years to get to this point and, having finally made this decision, I know that if I back down this time, I will never succeed at it. That would be, literally, a death sentence for me, since I can no longer live with hiding who and what I really am. I feel as though I have been lying to the whole world for 61 years about who and what I truly believe myself to be. Well, it's time for me to stop lying and face what IS.

It's true that this is my life, but this affects everyone who knows me. Family, friends, co-workers, even the passengers on the buses, and I am asking for your continued support as, in the very near future, I will be undergoing what is called a 'real life test' which will REQUIRE me to take on the female role, 24/7, 365, for at least a year or more before I can be considered for surgeries to bring my body in line with what my brain says it's supposed to be. Thus, I will be living, working, recreating, etc as a woman. I know this will be difficult for some of you to understand, but to give you an idea of how serious this can be, many people in similar positions have, as I have, contemplated suicide. I, on the other hand, am determined to live, and deal with this in the only way that makes sense to me.

In the time I have been an escort at CARTS, I have, I believe, achieved a very good work ethic, doing what needs to be done with very little questioning and with, I hope, good humor. I want to assure each and every one of you that this will not change. I fully intend to continue at CARTS, working the way I have for the past few years, provided circumstances allow me to remain employed at CARTS.

In truth, the only things that will change, at least visually, will be minimal makeup, longer hair, and what I hope will pass as a female shape, albeit a large one, to be sure. My clothing choices will not change except that they will be female versions of what I already wear...what we all wear. Basic jeans and t-shirts/tops, work shoes/boots/sneakers, just with a feminine cut and flair. The basic “me” that you have worked with will be virtually the same. The same old tired jokes and stories, as well as the humor I try to face each day with.

I hope and pray this will not effect the friendships/working relationships we have built at CARTS. I want to help all of you to understand this situation. To that end, If ANYONE has ANY questions, PLEASE come to me with them. The only dumb questions...are the ones you don't ask. I promise to be as open and honest as I possibly can about this. I don't want to embarrass anyone with this, but I have to do what I have to do. If this causes any of you problems, or embarrasses any of you, please come to me and we can try to talk it out.

As a final point, during this “real life test,” if all of you can simply refer to me as 'she', 'her' or by my chosen name, which is Catherine Linda Michel, and try to think of me as a female, it will help me a great deal with seeing this through. Cathy, Cathilyn, or any other diminutive of Catherine will be fine. If you slip and call me Keith, I will understand. This is going to be just as difficult for me, as I imagine it will be for you.

Thank you for your understanding and support.

Catherine Linda Michel.

Comments

This is absolutely wonderful

I am reading this as a TG family member. This letter shows so much compassion for the "other people", and also for yourself. It is so matter-of-fact, yet so profound. I just love the part "if you slip and call me Keith..."....oh, my god, that is so hard for us. I know this whole thing will not be easy for you, but, by being so open and allowing yourself to be vulnerable, you will make allies...I wouldn't be surprised if you make some serious new friendships. We "other people", most of us are just totally clueless. Until we become educated, we really do think this is all just some unnatural insanity. I consider myself a very liberal type of person, but I was no exception. I am so happy you have chosen to live, rather than to die. It really is that basic of a choice, right? I wish you the best.

Change the Suicide Reference

Do NOT cop to having once attempted suicide. That impinges on your employability. Instead, I would recommend changing that to a third-person reference, something like "many people in similar positions have committed suicide, to give you an idea of how serious this can be. I, on the other hand, am determined to live."

And, as for retraining people to use your new name, why not just try for "Cath"? It's a tiny, tiny step from "Keith", and easier than getting them to use seven syllables when they were used to one. Plus, it's casual and friendly, just like you. :-)

Noted, changed and posted.

Thank you, Pippa, for your very sensible suggestions. I have already edited the letter/blog to reflect your thoughts, although I still think it's important that people know that _I_ contemplated that final decision about suicide, before finally realizing that it didn't make sense.

Huggles and kissles from,
Catherine Linda Michel

As a T-woman, I do have a Y chromosome... it's just in cursive, pink script. Y_0.jpg

Well put

Great letter. Good luck with the RLT, and hope your co-workers are supportive and understanding. God bless you, girl.

Congradulations Cathy ...

It takes courage to transition. I hope that you find support among your friends, family and coworkers.
May Your Light Forever Shine

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

From One Sister To Another

jengrl's picture

I am so happy that you will soon join us in the ranks of fulltime womanhood. I can say that I am very happy with my life now. I have a peace about who I am. You will find that the stress of duality will melt away when you are finally able to live 24/7. It was a huge relief for me to just get up each morning and just be me. Thanks for sharing your journey with us. Know that there is a sisterhood out there that loves and supports you. If you would like to PM me I would be honored. Congrats Catherine!

Hugs,

Jenn

PICT0013_1_0.jpg

Bravo

No woman stands taller than she who can look adversity dead in the eye and not blink, faulter or waver in courage. I've always admired that in you. Always have and always will, Catherine Linda Michel. (*_*)

hugs + congradulations

laika's picture

An excellent letter, Catherine. Succinct, stating clearly strongly and calmly what this RLT and its hoped-for outcome means to you, how you would like to be treated at work. I think anyone---even someone with only the vaguest halfbaked awareness of transsexuals---could understand this. I hope this goes well for you,
and you are supported by an overwhelming majority of those work with, so if any individual does have
a problem with you, they're universally looked at as jerks. Congradulations on your new life and...
~~~hugs!!! LAIKA

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