This was the most painful thing I've ever written.
All of the characters behaved badly and then suffered. And even when they tried to behave well, they suffered because the situation was just beyond their ability to deal with.
As I did the final edits before posting it, I was especially annoyed by the readers who insisted on parsing words in the early chapters to argue this was a story about femdom. Do you get it now?
I hope now you undersatnd what this is really about. It's about good-hearted people who are in a situation they can't control.
Whatever needs Rebecca had at the outset, and I discussed those in an earlier blog, she has been wiped out by events. Who has been more cruelly hurt by what is going on?
Whatever needs Michael had at the outset, wondering if perhaps he was TS instead of CD, he has been caught up in a crashing wave of his own making and now is at the mercy of his own dreams (be careful what you wish for was my original title). Even as his dream of becoming a woman becomes reality, he sees his life crumble (no that's too gentle a word - let's try explode) around him/her.
And whatever Phillip thought he might get out of this, he too has been caught in a human drama that has shaken him to his very core. He literally said things to Sara that undermined his humanity, and his own view of himself.
Thank goodness he was brave enough to admit his own weakness to Sara before their relationship was blown to hell.
So here we sit on the tipping point. Nice folks not knowing how react and what they need to do to nsurvive as they struggle to negotiate the rapids of their lives. Do you have the courage to make the trip with them?
No guts, no glory.
But bring your heart with you.
Comments
But the facts are......
The story is fiction?
It seems very real to me. Life choices always have repercussions, some with terrible results.
Hugs, Fran
Hugs, Fran
Wow!
Kelly Ann,
Thank you very much for your writings! The thought and effort you put into your stories is very evident. You have an ability to write excellent stories without the need to include intense sex. Your stories show that a deep emotional intimacy adds passion and character to a story.
Unfinished Symphony is such a story. I was pulled into it right from the start and anxiously await each chapter as the story unfolds.
I do have some questions about the storyline. At the beginning, Michael/Sara is presented to us a "garden variety" crossdresser. M/S is at a place in his life where many of us are today. It makes it very easy to relate to M/S. His dreams and fantasies are like ours. Rebecce/Becca is also a very engaging character. She is a wife who discovers a "loose cannon" in their relationship and tries everything from her perspective to tie down that loose cannon before it scuttles their relationship(s). Many of us have wives or girlfriends in the same situation so it makes R/B easy to understand.
As the story progresses, M/S states several times "I am a MAN" reinforcing his CD character. Twice M/S is outed. The first by Phillip (how did he get that picture of M/S in the first place?) clearly shows the agony and anger by both spouses and the disruption to the relationship. Again, this is something that many CDers and their wives can empathize with both M/S and R/B.
The second outing is the magazine photograph. Now M/S is out! Here is what I don't understand. The decision that M/S makes is "Now that I am out, I might as well come fully OUT." All of a sudden the story starts to peel open M/S to find that "Gee, I must really a woman." This is, of course, R/B's biggest fear that M/S will transition from CD to TS, a fear that is shared by many wives. Her reaction is somewhat predictibable. If M/S transitions to TS, then R/B is outta there. (What does this do to the business? Certainly it is not a key factor but part of the storyline...)
I am wondering if this story is about a CD who really is a TS but doesn't realize it until an external event "forces" M/S to become a TS? (Does one "become" a TS?) I understand the motivation of R/B at the beginning to accelerate M/S into exploring a certain lifestyle to see how M/S reacts. However, wearing a dress and going on a date with a man or playing racquetball while wearing a sports bra and leotard does not make one a woman. The reactions of people to what M/S was wearing are only the tip of the iceberg. Even dressing fulltime is only the tip of the iceberg. I think that if M/S does transition fulltime to TS, then M/S is in for a shock. To me, M/S doesn't have that clear, inner picture of himself as a girl/woman from earliest childhood. Maybe he is acquiring a view of himself as a woman or at least what HE thinks a woman is. This may not be a correct or complete view.
M/S thinks that his internal change is in alignment with his external change but is it really? Is so much of the angst and conflict is coming from M/S trying to force change his inner view which is very difficult to do?
There is nothing wrong with being a full-time CD and NOT transitioning to TS. And I think that R/B could accept that. There is even a "half and half" scenario that seems to work in "Alice in Genderland". But there is that teensy step across a huge chasm where all the breakage happens. M/S seems to be taking that step.
So is this the right step for M/S to take? Can M/S take a step or two back? SHOULD M/S take a step or two back? Is M/S going in the right direction because it is the right thing to do or is M/S just being carried along on the tidal wave of events and now being sucked out to an early end by the powerful gender riptide?
I am looking forward to future chapters!
Robyn P.
Robyn P.