Lets be clear about one thing, being compared to Vicki Tern is a compliment.
I wish it on all of you. Really, She is one of the best TG writers ever. I’ve read every one of her stories and some multiple times. Jack and Jill, which I believe was her first (I found it on Sapphire’s site when there were only ten or so stories there and it was the only site you could find on your 24K modem), is a touchstone for me. The Birthday Gift (I think), which she wrote with Rhonda Wagram, is a novel-length tour de force of the femdom genre. There are many of her stories I don’t love, and I don’t understand why she keeps writing essentially the same story, but my God, I surely wish I could create prose like hers.
BTW, my characters are nothing like hers. Hers are iconic, playing a role we all know and aren’t surprised to discover. Mine are flawed and messy. They don’t understand what's happening to them and they struggle to cope. Vicki’s girls are always in control, and her men always willing to be taken advantage of. Mine skate on thin ice in a heavy fog.
Anyway, since comments on Symphony and my blog about it seem dominated by whether or not it’s a femdom story, I did what I do naturally: I analyzed the comments about the story. Here’s my summary.
Chapter 1
Eight comments
Five allusions to femdom and/or VT
Five compliments mixed with other observations
Four mentions of Vicki Tern
One unalloyed compliment
Chapter II
One comment — a compliment with an allusion to femdom
Chapter III
Nine comments
Readers to the rescue!
Five compliments
Five mentions of the debate and/or femdom
Kristina feel obliged to defend not commenting
And then there’s Gwen
Chapter IV
Two comments
Finally, some readers get past the debate and recognize that the story demonstrates some insight into what happens to T-girls.
Two compliments
Two recognitions of insights in the story
Jo-Anne figures the story out
Sephrena does too and supplies context
Chapter V
Four comments
Three compliments
Four allusions to femdom
Kristina recognizes an insight
And then there’s Jezzi
Chapter VI
Only one so far
Gwen!
A compliment and recognition of an insight
And bizarre blue makeup — gotta love her.
So what does this teach us? The remarks about femdom and Vicki Tern seem to have really skewed readers’ views of the story, though we can’t know what those who haven’t commented, but who have voted might think.
As an author, I want meaningful feedback. I think this story is sprinkled with some really cool observations about human behavior in general and about the lives of T-girls in particular. I thought the scene in the gym when Sara unthinkingly shows her “nipples” was brilliant, and Rebecca was brilliant for setting it up.
I thought readers would really resonate to how hard Sara tried to manipulate Phillip to do things for her, including protect her from Buster and not try to hit hard serves to Bobby.
During her date with Phillip, Sara was totally lit up, even before she started drinking. She made a great recovery from her afternoon of high anxiety, but she was still so anxious she did and said all kinds of things that were totally unimaginable to her only a day before.
I thought the discovery of the quote from Eleanor Roosevelt would hit every single T-girl who lived with any shame or guilt in the gut. It sure did me.
Readers, it seems, thought all this was totally blah.
Well, there I go again, lamenting the insufficiency of comments. Will I never learn?
Probably not. But am I wrong?
Comments
a comment, whilst...
...holding my right knee in both hands and rolling eyes at sports fascination. Kristina played one game of squash, fairly similar to raquetball I think, at age 16...no that wasn't the name at the time, but... twisted to take a shot and tore the crap out of the ligaments in said knee. 20 + years later I still can't turn quickly without risking minor dislocation. Um.... so what does this have to do with anything? Well I liked a lot of the little asides in the latest chapter. Small observations and recognitions of difference form several sides... just a bit too much bloody raquetball. But hey, I'm sure there's sports nuts out there. Could have been too much mall, or too much frill, or sex or... Yeah well I's finickity.
Oh..I did like that quote too.
Kristina comtemplates getting clever... nah, decides not to. Always gets her in trouble.
Signed in person as above.
Ps... blue makeup? I was going to ask what she'd done with her hair.
pps... does this constitute comment or recognition of insight?
I'd forgotten about that ...
... interminable racquet ball game which I, too, assumed was squash, though I've never heard of squash doubles. A bit crowded in there I should think. I confess to skipping through that quite quickly, just picking up the essentials. I guess I should have mentioned to Kelly Ann that I felt the scene needed cutting back but I quickly progressed to enjoying the rest and forgot.
I'm strangely glad I've found something I don't like about the story. Perverse isn't it? ;)
Geoff
Loved the Racquetball
That part of the story resonated with me as a myriad of contrasts. Big sweaty men allowing their testoterone to get the best of them playing against (off) our struggling heroine who is desparately trying to find her core. The subtle irony blew me away.
But then, I love all sports where you hit a ball with something other than a stick.
Tsk tsk, Geoff! Are you aware of just how many dreary discussions of biking we TG readers have been subjected to over the last two years? Give me a "brake."
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
To pair 'dreary' ...
... with 'bike' is an oxymoron. Now if you'd paired 'dreary' and 'ball game' I'd be with you all the way.
I rest my case :)
Geoff
No, no, no. We all know
No, no, no. We all know that the only real sport worthy of playing is played one on one, on piste with a length of steel in hand....
Janice (Who's been known to retell an entire fencing tournament to anyone who would listen...)
Racquetball! It's a METAPHOR, not just a game.
Geesh. I told you that people just read their expectations. All you can write about, now that no one can argue this chapter is about femdom, is that you thought it was squash (a great game in itself, and yes you can play doubles, if you're really coordinated, like Sara!)
It says racquetball, not squash. Pay attention!
And the purpose of the chapter was just as Angela detected. Thank you dear.
What happens when you put a competent woman in a man's environment and make her compete?
What a stunning surprise! One guy is a bully.
Another surprise, her male friend finds it hard to protect her from abuse.
Another surprise, she acts like a "bitch" and gets even in a way a relatively powerless woman can.
Another surprise, guys react to her sexually, even when she is only doing something as simple like taking off a top. Ever check out a woman's boy while you were at a meeting?
Finally, she analyzes the game rationally, and convinces her partner to leave his macho self-image at the door and do what it takes to win, rather than doing what satisfies his male ego (and the guy was a linebacker, who lived and died by aggression - somehow Sara led him to a better course, whata girl!).
Come one readers, it wasn't just a racquetball game, it was a metaphor for what it's like to be a woman in a man's world. I had really kinda hoped you would pick up on that. Please, pay attention when you read this, otherwise you'll miss the best parts.
Really.