When I first came to this site I was prepared to, and did admire you, Erin. You are, after all, a successful, intelligent and articulate woman. But, in time, I realized that you were also controlling, unbending and not open to the views of others.
When faced with an opinion you don’t share, you dub it “unfriendly” and hide it from your readers. When we question your actions in any way, no matter how politely, we are insulted by you, told that we have no right to question you, indeed have no right to disagree with you in any way and our comments are deleted before anyone can see or respond to our views. You then tell your readers that we were unfriendly without giving them a clue as to what we said.
Then you threaten to shut down the site so you can call out your sycophants to kiss the hem of your garment to feed your ego. Then you usually relent and bask in their praise. But what you don’t do is ever let them see a dissenting opinion. In short you treat your guests like mushrooms: Keep ‘em in the dark and throw sh*t on ‘em! Not the nicest analogy, I admit, but fitting!
Now you may say you can do what you want because it’s YOUR site. You may have been right in the early days when you supported it all yourself. But now we’re bombarded by ads on the site, and you constantly importune your guests for money to support the site. And we have given. I have given. Maybe since others help support BCTS, their concerns and opinions should be allowed to be heard.
Instead you ban those who disagree with you. I know of five for sure in the last month. Three are good friends and the other two I don’t know at all. Another author has asked that you remove all her content from BCTS, and we all know other authors who have left the site.
My account is many years old, but It wasn't until I retired a year ago that I had the time to make friends here. And, as a guest, I started to make comments to stories that I enjoyed. I felt it was the least a reader could do to thank the authors. My comments were a little idiosyncratic and off beat as I am, but I was told by one or two authors and even a few commenters that they enjoyed them.
When you delete this as I’m sure you will, I really don’t think you have the guts to leave dissenting views on the site, please also delete my account. And please, be truthful and remove the word friendly from the site.
Should you surprise me and have the nerve to leave this comment up, I’m sure you will delete the comment of everyone who agrees with me on the grounds that it is “unfriendly”.
Should you be brave enough to leave this post up, I will expect to be free to discuss openly, on site, the differences between us that we’ve been discussing between ourselves since mid-July.
I’m sure when you read this it will be deleted. I suppose it depends on which Erin reads this: Will it be the brave, intelligent Erin who first set up the site, or will it be the frightened Erin who will allow no criticism so she can protect her… Um… gains?
Perhaps it’s time for a committee of some kind, made up not just of your cronies, to steer policy, rather than a fascist dictator making all the decisions. Yeah, I know, “them’s fightin’ words”, but how are they wrong?
In the past you've accused people of stabbing you in the back. Well, after months of behind the scenes discussion, here I am, right up front. Do you have the nerve to face open criticism, or will you pick up your ball, like a 5 year old, and go home? Are you a big enough person to discuss differences openly?
My feeling which I’ve expressed to you on many occasions is that “Reasonable people should be able to disagree reasonably”. It’s the cornerstone of our political system. I think your guests on BCTS are smart enough to discuss things openly and in a friendly manor. Why don’t you trust your readers?
Ole Ulfson
Comments
Right or wrong
I'm not going to discuss who is right or wrong in this comment, I really just don't have it in me anymore. Too old, too tired. I had a mild heart attack last month and it just kinda made hash out of all my priorities. I just wanted to say this: in talking about Erin you have used some very loaded terms and phrases, loaded with negative connotations. Should you really wish to discuss this in a serious manner in public, I think it would be wise to tone down the rhetoric just a bit. Because not everybody who disagrees with you is "bad", just as not everybody who agrees with you is "good". That's my thoughts, FWIW.
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Sorry, Ole, but ...
... you seem to be under the impression that this site is a profit-making enterprise. Its not. It's a labor of love and a financial hole into which Erin pours a lot more of her money and energy than you give her credit for. As far as your arguments go, think of Big Closet not as some kind of public park, but as a private enterprise like a bar. Bars employ bouncers to keep conflicts from turning violent and wrecking the place. That doesn't make the bars or their owners less than friendly. It just makes them friendlier to the people who are there for a good time, instead of the ones there to pick a fight.
Apparently, that's why you posted this blog ... to pick a fight. Why? To open the site to a new level of conflict? To have it descend into the kind of stupid flame wars that infect the rest of the Internet? This isn't a democracy, Ole. It's a fiction site that belongs to Erin. Let her decide how to keep it friendly, because frankly, it's not your call. It's hers.
Randalynn
Why do good things fail? Entropy? Hubris?
I myself know that I have seen Erin shut this site down due to flame wars caused by a member, and was glad that she later relented. Talk to Erin about this blog and see if you still feel the same way.
May Your Light Forever Shine
Interesting
You tell someone to go fuck themselves and punch them in the gut and then dare them to react civilly.
I remember Big Closet in its infancy, and yes, it has changed. Back then Erin read each story, did some editing and polishing and you got maybe 3 to 5 stories a day. Due to her diligence it has grown to what it is and now you want to take it away from her because its so big.
You mention bombarded with ads. WHERE? The small little inconsequential little banners that are barely noticeable in the sidebar? At least we aren't hit by a half page ad before entering the site.
Also, Erin doesn't mind criticism of authors, she just ask that you do it privately as to not offend. Is that so hard, or is your need for grandstanding so great that you have to make a mockery out of another persons work. Sometimes we might forget and the comment is removed. Even I made the mistake of making a comment that offended an author, it happens. I removed it myself when the author replied, but is it so much to ask that we keep things civil and keep our disagreements in private.
People ask to remove content all the time. In the past, it use to be asked to be removed because of negative comments left behind (oh holy shit, perhaps the reason Erin ask you not to post negative comments on stories.) Sometimes they are removed because some readers can be real assholes (like people who complain that I enjoy writing about abusive crap or start making a complaint that has nothing to do with the story at all). In fact, I have been debating having my stories removed from another site, not because of how the site is maintained but because of some content in other stories that I might not want my work associated with.
In fact, your little comment about delete this comment and delete my account makes you sound very much like the 5 year old who is going to take their ball and go home. Perhaps you should find somewhere else to read if this is such a dictatorial distopia.
Katie Leone (Katie-Leone.com)
Writing is what you do when you put pen to paper, being an author is what you do when you bring words to life
Ego has nothing to do with it
I shouldn't fuel this fire but I've been trying to produce something reasoned and reasonable on this subject for weeks but it never stays reasonable so I've never got around to posting anything.
If we were to liken Bigcloset to a cake shop then being friendly and reasonable would be trying peoples cakes and commenting on what we liked and what we didn't and making friendly suggestions about the cakes in public while reserving the more critical judgements for private. If we don't like someone's cake then we try a different cake.
If we find that we have an issue with one of the bakers of the cakes and we tell the owner of the shop and they say that they are satisfied the baker in question is ok then is it reasonable to make the same point to the owner over and over again in the hope that the outcome will be different? Is it reasonable to start a whispering campaign amongst people bringing new cakes to the shop?
Is it reasonable to call the shop owner a dictator because they want to encourage new bakers, and because they want to run their shop their way?
Is it reasonable to expect that shop to elect a committee because we don't like the way the owner runs their own shop?
One thing that is entirely reasonable is for the owner to take pride in her shop and the variety of cakes it has to offer and the fact that people come from miles around to taste its wares.
Of course the one thing where my cakeshop analogy doesn't work is that people pay for the cakes in a cakeshop where here everything is free except for the hatbox.
-
You can't choose your relatives but you can choose your family.
mmm cake
To quote Gabriel Iglesis.. "I love cake."
Make mine Chocolate with the passive aggressive asshole on the side please so I can throw it out later.
Katie Leone (Katie-Leone.com)
Writing is what you do when you put pen to paper, being an author is what you do when you bring words to life
You seem to be under the misimpression that we have a say here.
The site is owned by Erin. She doesn't ask for donations, but "gifts" as needed to keep the site up, and the membership system for the site is lax in the extreme compared to what many places have.
I can't say I disagree with some of your sentiments here, as far as things such as your bolded statement that "reasonable people should be able to disagree reasonably." Unfortunately, the way you have phrased your own arguments and sympathies is, in many ways, the very antithesis of reasonable. You have proceeded beyond the point of merely asking Erin about points you disagree with, to openly insulting not only her, but a good portion of the site's users, and everyone who works as hard as they do to make the site what it is.
And, in many ways, I think that is where your issues with the site lie: in what the site is, and isn't.
For many of us here, BCTS is not some place to go and listen to political or moral rhetoric, nor is it a place where we seek out heady gossip and discussion. It is, in fact, a place where we come to flee from much of those same things. As Erin says, "A friendly place to read, write, and discuss transgender fiction." That phrase alone shows Erin's adaptive and accepting nature, even, seeing as I recall it being brought up more than once that the site was originally intended as a repository for lesbian fiction, rather than what it has evolved into.
I could tack on a number of comments concerning "reasonable people," as well, but in keeping with the site's own guidelines that is something I should leave alone, except to say that separating the reasonable from the unreasonable is a task that in many ways is far more trouble than it is worth, not to mention far more likely to result in hurt feelings all around. By keeping the doors on the site closed to certain types of debate, Erin does far more to keep the peace here than any amount of moderation of a forum such as what you seek could ever manage.
BCTS is not a public forum, nor does it fall under free speech laws any more than anything else privately owned. Our opinions are allowed here but by the grace of the owner, and she has every right to ask us politely not to press certain issues. When those issues are pressed anyhow, she is perfectly within her rights to ask us to leave. If we refuse, she is yet again perfectly within her rights to evict us. An earlier comment used bouncers at a bar as an example, and it is a very astute observation; just because she lets us in to sample the ambiance and participate in conversation doesn't mean she has to listen to us insult one another when we should know better than that.
We ARE better than that.
Big Closet is a far more generous and forgiving gift than you wish to give it credit for. We are allowed our dissenting opinions after all, and the site is a stronger place for insisting that being allowed those opinions does not include the caviat of being allowed to tell one another those opinions are wrong. By removing the arguments and blow-ups when they occur, Erin is preserving our rights to those opinions in the best way she is capable of -- by keeping us from hurting ourselves by hurting others.
An individual can be right in an argument without the implication that an individual with an opposing viewpoint is wrong, and that is where the "friendly" nature of the site comes in.
Above any other reasons, we are all here to be accepted. Right or wrong, that is all we seek. And, right or wrong, is that not something we all deserve, without being criticized for it?
Melanie E.
Just a few things
Normally I would remove such an inflammatory post but I will respond a bit. I've been gone earlier in the evening, since about 4 my time, and just got home about twenty minutes ago and the first thing I did was eat a bowl of cereal.
One, I've never banned anyone for disagreeing with me. If I've ever even banned anyone and made it stick. I don't actually remember if I have. Why? Because when I have banned someone temporarily it has been for something specific that they did to another member. Not to me. When someone has asked to be re-instated after a ban, I've always granted this. Always.
I repeat, I've never banned anyone for disagreeing with me. Anyone can disagree all they like but they can't harrass or attack other people here using my resources to do it. A pretty simple and even-handed rule.
Two, please do not attempt to tell me why I do something unless you are going to repeat things I've actually said. Your opinion about my motivations are just that, opinions.
You apparently want to destroy the friendly atmosphere here in order to air your grievances. Which is completely counter to your Reasonable people should be able to disagree reasonably.
I obviously do trust people here, no other large TG site allows people to post their own stories and the smaller one's that do are modeled on BC. I allow blogs and forums and comments to go up without moderation.
And lastly, just a point, I can't possibly be a dictator, dictators don't allow people to leave.
I'm going to leave this up for a while and other people can weigh in on what they think on the issue.
Hugs to all who want them,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
"Why don’t you trust your readers?"
She does. Why do you think I'm allowed to post here? :)
---
Self deprecating humor aside, I have been on many large sites and forums. Erin's running of BC is by far the laxest I have ever seen.
Why? Because she trusts us to be civil. And by and large, we repay that trust to her, and BC has become a better site because of it.
There's more that I could say, but everyone else has said it already.
A simple solution...
If you don't like the way Erin runs things in these parts, the solution is simple. Leave and don't come back.
Do you honestly believe that this blog will accomplish anything productive? It seems aimed at creating drama more than anything else...
Have delightfully devious day,
Know what?
It's late. I'm going to bed.
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Can't agree
Sorry Ole, but respectfully I can't agree with your viewpoint as it doesn't match my experience of this site.
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
This is uncalled for.
This is a free site. There are contributors and I am one, but to my knowlege none of us has tried to dictate anything to anyone.
You need to back off. This is not a discussion site where people get flamed. There are lots of them. I suggest you try one out.
Gwendolyn
A few years ago..
I got really mad about a blog being unpublished. I don't recall, but I may have whined about it to Erin in a PM exchange. I came away mad about what happened for a long time. Eventually, I started looking at the whole picture. BC is the nicest site on the Web that I come to. Generally speaking it has a much higher % of nice people than anywhere else I can name. What price does this site cost? Being NICE to each other. Me? I'm willing to pay that price. I'm privileged to be able to help out around here as I can.
As for what is considered "unfriendly," Erin alone doesn't decide each and every incident. Her helpers monitor the site and keep a lookout for things that are turning nasty, or posts that are just rude without redeeming value. Erin is the ultimate judge of what is valid and what isn't.
It takes an awful lot for someone to get banned on here. I have no doubt if Erin bans someone, they deserved it.
As for GUTS? I tend to think anyone who runs a site that is out of the mainstream of what is considered "Normal" subject matter by "regular" people has guts.
Funny thing, I unpublished this blog, because as others have wonderfully pointed out, this was an attempt to start trouble. Erin decided to restore it.
As for there being more than one Erin, the rules haven't changed much if at all in all the years I've been a member. Maybe refined as needed but nor substantially changed.
Erin owns this site. SHE created it. It IS a dictatorship as is any other site. We can make suggestions, ask questions, complain to her in a PM, whatever the issue the final decision is Erin's and Erin's ALONE.
She accepts donations to HELP pay for the running of this and several other sites. It isn't FREE, she isn't selling STOCK in the site. You donate because you love BC, but you don't get ownership. You are helping to keep it running and online.
As to TRUST? You're joking, right? Trust is given first, and can be LOST by individuals who choose not to be able to get along. If someone posts something totally out of bounds like "This story sucked" it will be unpublished. That person won't be banned. It takes more that a bad post to get banned. Trust is given on here until one loses it all on their own.
Oh, and no one has agreed with you thus far, and no posts have been removed....just sayin'
Try it yourself and see
Everyone should have the experience of trying to run a community website or internet service. I'm not kidding.
You get to experience the joy of filling a real need, and of hearing grateful thanks.
You also get to deal with people who fight about nothing, people who feel you should wash their feet and wait on them 24/7, and -- in a nutshell -- people whose behavior is destructive, even if their intentions are good.
It's like this: it takes work, time, effort, and cooperation to build a house, but any jackass with a match can burn it down. They don't even have to mean to do it.
And if you haven't been in the position of having to watch the procession of people coming to stand in the same spot and do the same crazy things, well... you ought to try to run a site like this and see.
Kaleigh Way
Soul Felon
Dear Mr Oaf I was wonderin if you realised your name is an anagram of Soul Felon which better suits your recent diatribe now as a newbie here I don't know Erin from Eric as they can both testify but I stood lookin in the sweetshop window for several months before signin up an from both inside n outside I see only a wonderful place where a lot of mixed up an unmixing folks have a friendly n supportive environment to share thoughts ideas stories n opinions n help each other find their way now I don't know your history views opinions or iq but I do know you are not good on facts coz whatever you might think n however much I might disagree with you the the number one thing that causes your blog to make you at least appear a total twat is the littering of inaccuracies now I can tirade with the best of em n lettin off steam is an evolutionary safeguard from burstin our bowels so we all have to blow now n again but the painful truth we all have to learn is we need to make damn sure we get our facts right or we just end up looking stupid an often only in the mirror coz everyone else is long gone BCTS has helped me with some real difficult aspects of my life n propelled me on my development way from a dark n difficult period of stagnation n the love hugs friendship n support I have received from so many open souls in this wonderfully free open n relaxed environment has been both life changin n life affirmin so why don't you just lay back a bit cool down consider your gripe in a reasonable fashion n present your views in a way that aims to convey your thoughts not upset insult n hurt people like the content of this bloggin bludgeon seems intended to do n then I'll throw you one of my biggest cutest smiles ever big hug k-jo
I was lying down minding my own business when life came by and drove right over me
A friend on another site...
...points out quite frequently that using the "ignore" feature in a forum can cause more problems and is more closed-minded than it is worth, as it provides a cheap out for people to not deal with arguments for which they can't be bothered to find reasoned counter-arguments.
That friend is an intelligent person, and I value their opinion greatly, but that value is seen at least as often in our disagreements as it is in the points we share a view upon. I've looked at the arguments that Ole has presented, and the holes he left in them via the rhetorical avenues he pursued and those he ignored, and, taking it all together, I adjudge his statements unworthy of my further attention or awareness, much less my reiteration of the counter-arguments already presented on each of his (extremely poorly and with egregious surliness put) core points. The added stress on my mind and waste of my time of dealing with this greatly exceeds any possible value I might find in feeding further such a habitantis sub-pons, such an caprinivore.
"Ignore" button (or link), I press thee.
Good bye, Ole. May you find your bliss. Outside of my view.
-Liz
Successor to the LToC
Formerly known as "momonoimoto"
HUH? I've seen a few things removed to calm things down but...
but never do I recall Erin being heavy handed about it.
As others have pointed out this is HER site after all. So she can and must do as she sees fit. If anyone has legal liability here it is Erin.
Overall I have found BC a quite tolerant place. We can say and write a lot before Erin or her *elves* say *enough*!
Personal attacks on others here are one of the few things that will bring swift censure.
Best wishes to both you, Ole and Erin.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
Start your own site
Dear Ole.
If you do not like things here, you have a few choices.
Do not sign on to the site.
If you sign on, just read the stories,and don't read the comments or the blogs.
Better yet, if you can do things better then Erin, start your own site.
It's very rude to come into someone's home, even after being invited in, and cursing out the owner.
I have in the past asked Erin to monitor certain blogs and comment threads when I thought they were not proper generally for religious reasons, She took the effort to prevent wars.
She has a tough job running this place.
You seem to be the one having trouble playing nicely with the other children.
Rami
RAMI
Wow!
Wow, Ole, you are one seriously upset user. I'm probably several thousand miles away from you, but from here I can feel the vitriol oozing out from between your boldened phrases.
I can't say that I really understand the point you are making, except that you are looking for some kind of democratic discussion site, which this site clearly does not set out to be.
Poor Erin is only trying her best to keep the site a nice place for people like me and lots of others to come. If you really can't accept the way she runs it, there's a very easy solution.
I live too close to the edge to be able to send money to Erin
Sorry, I would rather eat and even my isp and phone service provider sometimes have to wait two or three months before I can scrape up the funds to pay my bills.(I dropped my cable TV service too save on THAT at least.) Therefore I have no say WHAT-SO-EVER in policy decisions regarding this website.
I do not agree with all the decisions Erin makes here. There have been times when I have deserved the slap on the wrist I got, BUT, in my humble opinion, there have also been times when I was censored incorrectly.
BUT
It IS Erin's site, over-all things are MUCH better here than they are at other sites of this nature, so I hope things continue.
with love,
Hope Eternal Reigns
with love,
Hope
Once in a while I bare my soul, more often my soles bear me.
Politics
The politics of the site are way down the list of things that are important about BCTS. It's about the stories, the chance for fledgling authors to let others see there work, the chance for authors to polish their skills. What your opinion, or my opinion of the site is, is of little consequence. Membership is free. You get what you pay for. I can't afford to send any money to help the site, while apparently you have, but that doesn't afford you any privileges. My membership is as valuable as yours. I you don't like the politics, don't send any money, limit your participation in the site, or for that matter, don't come to the site.
There are sites I simply don't frequent,even though some of the content is appealing, because I don't like the way the site is run. You are free to do the same here.
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin eine Mann
Despotism
This place is not a Democracy. Erin rules with an iron fist, but she wears a lovely mink glove over it. Mmm, so soft... ^_^
I've had some of my comments deleted by Erin and her team, but in retrospect I actually thank them for it. Those comments were not well thought out at all.
*Takes Erin-the-lovely-despot up on her offer of hugs* <3
Strange...
It appears you frequent a different BCTS than I do...
I've been an active member (more or less) for almost five years now. I've seen flame wars get taken down. I've seen people get greatly offended by Erin's actions (or others). I've been pissed off, when a site editor changed something in one of my stories without telling me about it (in at least one case, the change was wrong - and hurt the meaning of what I was saying)... I've seen the site taken off line when flame wars won't stop.
So what? A lot of people here have STRONG personalities/opinions and have no qualms about showing them. (Heck, I suspect if you looked, you'd discover that many of us need that strength just to survive.) Is it any surprise that people occasionally have friction?
I've been banned on sites before (only twice I can think of - and both times, it was a case of "mistaken identity"... They thought I was someone else trying to sneak back in). I only know a handful of people here (outside of BCTS), so if anyone else I know here were to be banned, I'd not know it as people drop off the face of the earth now and again here - sometimes to resurface, sometimes not. There's this thing called real life.
But, thinking back, I really do not think that we frequent the same site. The one you describe, and the management you describe sounds like a "dark image" of the one I go to.
Annette
There's no failure here
I don't agree with your premise. BigCloset TopShelf is indeed a good thing, but I don't see how one could consider it to have failed. It is first and foremost a site about sharing TG fiction, and it does that well. There are blogs and forums and comment trees here, but those are just accessories. Sometimes a rude comment does get pulled, but I know of no instance where a piece of fiction was unpublished except at the request of the author. If you really want to get the readers here thinking about some issue, write a story about it. And I mean an actual piece of fiction that addresses the subject, not something thinly veiled like:
I mean something more like this:
Not sure what your goal was
Not sure what your goal was Ole, but it seems you have managed to unite a very tolerant, friendly community against you. I have lurked for years and only recently made a profile, and have been accepted and befriended by new folks and those that have been here for years. I have seen nothing of the practices you speak of and have to wonder if you insist on stirring the pot. Like many have stated above just don't come here if it offends you. I for one have not communicated with you, therefore I will not miss you.
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
A moment of wolf Zen.
A moment of Zen.
I once found a coffee mug decorated with different views of Shit Happens, this mug became a touch stone of wisdom some of which I will share here. My fav saying was the Zen view of “ I let the shit freely flow out of my life.†being ex Catholic if found the funkiness was the Catholic view “ Bring on more Shit.â€
Erin is the Games Operation Director of this friendly writers PUB and being so gives her the right to declare the rules of this cyber establishment. If you do not appreciate these rules there are other places you can chose to spend your time and energy. Erin is one of those who IMHO allows things to flow freely out of her life, Take the hint. If you want more shit, then this is not the establishment that fits your preferences.
As for me I love the atmosphere and the fantastic service here . This is where I find many like minded folks who are very friendly and sharing.. It is a home for this cranky old wolf who has been in the cold her entire life, the staff does not even complain that I shed on the furniture.
PS
Erin and the staff.
You perform great work and service to our community. My vote is to change nothing and I want to thank you for all the effort and energy involved in keeping our little Cyber Pub alive and running. Thank You
Huggles
Misha Nova
With those with open eyes the world reads like a book
Disagreeable?
You say, "Instead you ban those who disagree with you. I know of five for sure in the last month. Three are good friends and the other two I don’t know at all. "
Name them. I KNOW I have not banned five people in the last month, I haven't permanently banned that many in thirteen years.
About a month ago, one person was blocked (not banned) for creating sock puppet accounts and using those account to harass another author here. Piper blocked the ISP of that person so she could create no more sock puppets, but she could have logged into her account via some other connection if she wanted to. This had nothing to do with any post of hers disagreeing with me. Absolutely none. It was about harassment, not opinions.
Another person who had created a sock puppet and used it for harassment was temporarily banned but re-instated when she apologized by email. Again, this was about harassment, not disagreement.
About six years ago I banned and blocked another person for sock puppetry and spamming the blogs with harassing comments. This was the same person who was doing something similar at FM. Not about disagreement but about harassment.
About five years ago I banned a person who was constantly harassing other people about the content of their stories and accusing them of personal attacks on her. Again, that was not about disagreement but about harassment.
About three years ago I banned a member for cyberstalking but reinstated that member when an apology was received by me and by the victim and there has been no repetition. Again, that was not for disagreeing with me.
I think I've temporarily banned two other people, maybe three, for similar infractions but I have NEVER banned anyone for simple disagreement. Unless you think there is a disagreement about what constitutes harassment.
Harassment is sending unfriendly PMs or making unfriendly comments. Now do we have to define unfriendly or is that the point of disagreement here?
This is tiresome. If I banned people for disagreement, wouldn't I have banned you? Obviously I haven't.
The disagreement at the heart of this whole thing is probably whether people should be able to petition me to ban someone for being suspected of being creepy. That's the only thing I can figure out as being an essential disagreement with several people.
Maybe I banned someone and forgot about it. I'm 64, it's possible. Name the five people I have banned in the last month and I promise to unban them. Put up or shut up about this, please, Ole.
Hugs for any who want them,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Hey Ole...
I like this site just the way it is. Erin and her crew do a dam good job running it.
Here's some free advice for you... "If you don't like the way this place is run, go set up your own site!"
I'm speaking from years of experience when I say 'it's not as easy as it seems'.
Erin, I like this place and I thank you for letting me come here. It's a good place to let my hair down and be 'me', even if I don't usually say much.
Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue
I sent Erin a PM
There were references to things and people that didn't need to be made public. I will try to answer each of you privately with a PM. But there are some issues that must remain between Erin and me
We are each exactly as God made us. God does not make mistakes!
Gender rights are the new civil rights!
PMing
Why don't you just leave it between yourself and Erin? The better thing to have done from the very start would have been to PM Erin rather than induce drama with this completely unnecessary blog post.
Have delightfully devious day,
Then why start this in the
Then why start this in the first place.
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
No need to PM me
I've said all I plan to on the matter. Really this whole blog should have remained private between your gripes and Erin.
So please, at least in my case...no follow-up PM
Thanks
I second that.
I second that. I don't want to be PM'd either.
Have delightfully devious day,
I got the PM
There were only four names, not five. One of them was the person who created sock puppets and used them to harass another author. I've unbanned her but she may still be blocked at the server, if she sends me a PM, I will endeavor to unblock her. She doesn't even have to apologize.
The other three names were not banned. Two of them I simply removed a comment that seemed unfriendly about three weeks ago but they were never banned. If they are on the same ISP as the first one, they may be blocked but that's not the same thing.
That fourth name is also not banned and I don't remember the account ever even having a comment deleted.
Ole insists there was a fifth "banned" person but cannot name them. I can't do a damn thing about that and I sincerely doubt that that person was ever banned either.
In Ole's PM he insists that numerous people have been harassed by the another person that I am protecting but I have NOT received complaints about specific instances of harassment that have not been acted upon.
This is over as far as I am concerned unless someone wants to come forward with more names of "banned" people or specific complaints and not vague opinions or third hand information.
BTW, I'm going to be gone for about two hours this afternoon to work in the bookstore here locally. I may or may not be able to get online down there, so play nice while I am gone.
Hugs to all that want them,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Have a good evening.
Hugs back Erin to you and your team. If it's a used book store I'm looking for those old Casca books. :)
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Somebodies knickers are in a knot
I'be been with this site for over seven years. I've made comments that hurt others and statements that nearly caused a major forest fire. I left the site, removed my stories and after a few days apologized for what I said. I could not retrieve the stories.
Rants and raves should not be made public and I'm sure Erin is doing her best to not appease you by replying to those rants openly.
She has brough up some good points, and you seem to have no recourse to define your rant.
Its okay with me if you take your bal and go home, there will be someone else with a better and bigger ball coming along.
Please do not IM me as I already have enough physical problems and psychological problems that are keeping me from beng a donating author.
I came to thei site to read originally. I've made friends along they way. I try not to step on toes if you read my by line you will see that I am a people person and I think that you need to remember what ti was like before you retired.
Find another hobyy, don't try to re-design this site, its not yours, it is open for you to enjoy,
Take you criticism to private measures.
Its not always been a bed of roses here, but as they say one makes their own bed to lie in, I choose to be comfortable and not to step on toes.
I don't always reply to blogs, but this one did wrankle my spine.
Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.
Sorry Ole, but...
As has been unanimously voiced above, we seem to know a different Erin. I also must say I'm quite disappointed with your behavior just now. You have for the most part seemed a pretty reasonable fellow and a "good guy"... I understand that sometimes hackles can rise and such and such but... Wouldn't it be best if you just stayed off the net until you calmed down first?
Whatever may have or may not have happened, personal attacks against ERIN of all people are completely uncalled for. She is anything but what you have viciously named her. She has continuously been the kindest, gentlest, most compassionate person I have EVER known. And that's saying something. I happen to know a man who previous to Erin I would have named as that. He's still all of that, but Erin... Erin deals with crap that man couldn't even imagine.
Abigail Drew.
Banned/blocked: confusion on my part...
I PMed this to Erin and promised to post it publicly.
Please consider it an apology for my ignorance on this subject!
This actually refers to a PM I sent her this morning in response to a very nice PM from her. Actually we've been PMing a lot so this won't exactly follow my public post.
Erin,
As to Blocked/Banned: I'm sorry you took that as an argument. It was a request for information from someone (You) much more knowledgeable than I. I'll be glad to publicly admit to my lack of knowledge so it won't seem like I was challenging you on such a minor point. I was confused because the result seems the same, but the process is obviously different.
Ole
We are each exactly as God made us. God does not make mistakes!
Gender rights are the new civil rights!