Recently, two events have occurred that I note forgiveness is important:

1. I went to the CANDLES (Children of Auschwitz Nazi Deadly Lab Experiments Survivors) Museum in Terre Haute, Indiana. I learned three things. I mention one that is important to this Forum blog.

Eva Mozes Kor (the founder of the museum, and a surviving victim of the "Twins Experiment" by Dr. Mengele) told us she was able to forgive one of the doctors who was one of the experimenters. He was the only living Md. that was not convicted (she gave the reasons). She told us that she had the power of forgiveness and that made her free from the horrors of Auschwitz. I bring this up to us because many of us have been raped, and otherwise physically or verbally abused. Perhaps by forgiving those who do and did this to us we can finally heal and be free of that nightmare. We each have the power to forgive. No one else can forgive for you.

Note: used American million (1000x1000).

Candles website: www.candlesholocaustmuseum.org

  

2. Laika posted a blog entitled, "Jesus Wept" commenting on the following article:

http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/pastor-urges-parents-punch-...

I posted a comment that said,

I don't know how independent this congregation is, but if it can it should fire this alleged pastor, especially considering that it is a religion that claims that love is a top priority.

Otherwise good people do unspeakable things to others because:

1. they don't see some others as human
2. they don't see the harm they do.

Violence is an option when:
1. for self defense
2. to protect others from violence

When violence is done to a child then the child learns that violence is a legitimate option.

I wish to amend what I said should be done to this pastor: He should be give a choice between apologizing to the congregation and being fired. His apology needs to include him having sensitivity training dealing with race /ethnic, women, GLBT issues and at least a year helping the GLBT's in the area.

Only then should he be forgiven.

"...forgive them for they know not what they do

 

I also enclosed a one page paper provided by Rabbi Josh Berkenwald of Sinai of San Jose (Ca) from one of the Talmuld Torah classes about two years ago:

Moreover Judiasm has also developed over time yet another narrative - in part, enshrined in law - that rejected the practice of punishing people, and causing them undue suffering, for things they are not responsible for. Deuteronomy 24:16 said this in one way: "... a person shall be put to death only for his own crime." Later on, the prophet Ezekiel would make this narrative into a theological focal point. In Ezekiel 18:20 (in the context of an entire chapter devoted to aspects of the issue of "vicarious punishment") he proclaimed the following: "the righteousness of the righteous shall be accounted to him alone, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be accounted to him alone." The challenge this narrative poses to a set of laws that would deprive of a fulfilling life because of the irresponsible complacency or vindictiveness of a former husband is obvious. And about a millennium later, this narrative was continuing to grow. A bold text in Leviticus Rabba, dealing with the case of the mamzerim - the "misbegotten" children of adultery or incest, who were also denied fulfillment of marriage and family in the name of the law - set forth the essence of this narrative of individual responsibility as a full-blown challenge to halakhists:

"I further observe all those where being oppressed under the sun: the tears of the oppressed, with none to comfort them; and the tears of the oppressors - with none to comfort them" Ecclesiastes 4:1): Hanina the Tailor interpreted this verse as applying to mamzerim. I further observed all those who were being oppressed" - these are the mamzerim. "The tears of the oppressed" - The mothers of these people committed sin and we isolate them?! Here's a man whose father committed adultery, but what did he himself do, and what business is it of his?! "With none to comfort them" but rather -- "The power of their oppressors" -this refers to Israel's Great Sanhedrin, which imposes on them the full power of the Torah and isolates them on the basis of the verse, "No one misbegotten shall be admitted into the congregation of the L-rd" (Deuteronomy 23:3) "With none to comfort them" - G-d, therefore says, It must be My task to bring them comfort. For it is only in this world that they are deemed to be expendable. But in a future world, it will be as Zechariah the prophet envisioned, 'I see a lamp stand all of gold' (Zechariah 4:2) (2)

Among the many striking things this subversive text are:
1. the clear depiction of the injustice inherent in people in people being mad to suffer (3) for things they cannot control
2. the identification of the Great Sanhendrin, the very embodiment of halakcic authority, as the oppressor of the mamzerim, for having been unable to alloy its halakcic traditions with a narrative that entitled these victims of the rules of happiness and promised them the fulfillment that human beings were created to pursue
3 that G-d is not on the side of the narrow halakhah of the Sanhedrin, but rather envisions a broader sense of commandment and community that will include the mamzerim.

1. Excerpts fromHalakhic and Metahalakhic Arguments Concerning Judaism and Homosexuality by Rabbi Gordon Tucker
2. Vayikra Rabba (Margaliot) Parshat Emor 32:18
3. "Being made to suffer" is the essence of the issue here. For the fact that people suffer for things outside their control is one of the enduring and vexing mysteries of life, but one that we all must bear with a certain amount of helplessness. On the other hand, when suffering is actively imposed on someone (for example judiciously) for something outside his/her control, there is no claim of helplessness available. Except, of course for the alleged helplessness in the fade of the law; but the use of that excuse is exactly what is being critiqued in this text.

Some private inbox mail from Rami and NoraAdrienne

Rami:

Dear Shelly and Nora:

I read Laika's blog entitled "Jesus Wept" and read the story link about the minister who uttered some really nasty/disgsuting comments and suggested what amounts to child abuse to cure "girlish" activity of boys, and enforce feminity for girls.

From stories and comments at this site and from general information, it seems that a Chrisitian Minister/Priest giving a sermon like that would not be unusual.

Reflecting on growing up in a NYC city style conservative-dox synagogue, going to many Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform Synagogues over my entire life (I'm 60), currently davening at a Chabad Synagogue (although I would not claim to be Orthodox or a Chabadnik), and having two Rabbi's being very close friends, I can not imagine ANY Rabbi (Of what-ever stripe), giving a Sermon/Drusah/Devar Torah where they would make a statement like the one given by that reverend.

That is not to say, that in private, in a commentary or even in some bulletin, the Rabbi might not condemn some activities as being against Halacha. But even in such an condemnation, I would not expect a Rabbi to condone or suggest child abuse. I also understand that in old line (and perhaps current Cheders) a teacher/rebbee might make fun of such a child.

I am raising this question with both of you, because, from my time here, you (and I) are most likely the only folk that attend Shul/Temple/Synagogue on a regular basis. There are a few others like Puddintane who have a Jewish background, but are most likely no longer active in Jewish life.

I would appreciate your thoughts about this.

Have a Gut Shabbos/Shabbat Shalom

NoraAdrienne:

There was a period of time when, as my hair got longer and I lightened it and highlited it.. the Rabbi's diatribe against Gays, Lesbians, and those who live an alternative life style got heavier and heavier.

And my donations to the shule got smaller and smaller. He got the message. My better half and I donate a couple of thousand dollars a year to the place. We are a shrinking congregation and he's not attracting any new young families. You have to argue with your pocketbook and they "see the light".

And finally, from this past Shabbat's Torah portion (Leviticus 19:17-18, Art Scroll translation):

"You shall not hate your brother in your heart; you shall reprove your fellow and do bear a sin because of him. You shall not take revenge and you shall not bear a grudge against the members of your people; you shall love your fellow as your self - I am the L-rd." This is the reason I can forgive.