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Do you know what it’s like to hate everything about yourself?
To hate your hair style and the shape of your toes?
To hate every thought in your mind and every word that you speak?
Do you know what it’s like to plaster a smile on your face?
To fool the world that you’re happy, and to fool yourself?
To pretend that nothing hurts, and that this act actually matters?
I know what it’s like to hate everything about myself.
I know what it’s like to plaster a smile on my face.
What I don’t know, is if I can do it again tomorrow.
Comments
Yes...
...all too well.
Love, Andrea Lena
hugs, 'Drea
Big, gentle hugs from me.
Don't give way to hate....
Dear 'Drea, So sad, today of all days.
Please take comfort from the words of Rudyard kipling in the poem "IF....."
IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when others doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Queens - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all women count as friends with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Girl, my son!
I cry every time I read this, thinking of myself, my sons and my grandsons......
Don't give in to self hating or self loathing..... Turn instead, to recognizing that, in the words of another poem, "Desiderata", found in an English country churchyard.....
.....You have a right to be here,
no less than the sea and the stars,
and whether or not, it is clear to you,
the universe is unfolding as it should.....
Read the whole text for inspiration like I do sometimes.
love you.
Ginger xx
PS - In an English country village - in deepest Cornwall, I thought of you yesterday. There is a street called "Tredrea Drive". Are there tre... three of you, Drea?!!!
Do you know?
I to have felt that low, then when at my lowest, I felt God's Love and knew that He Loves and accepts me.
May Your Light Forever Shine
Hugs
I often Ache... I desperatly desire to be a girl.... but intutively know that many of the things I enjoy are not relative to my gender. When you read a book or watch a show. Male/female no different.
Logically I know that it shouldn't matter... Yet it does. I even recognize that to be female in anywhere other than the western world would be a undesirable yet I would desire it. It really irks me that I'm 90 percent logic... and yet wish I were a girly girl.
Enjoy what you can....
Accept yourself. Ever watch the 30 somethings who desire marriage? They often think that being married will make their life perfect..... Wrong! Its just a different reality with problems of a different sort.
Accept yourself. Like yourself for your good qualities even if in your head thats not what you look like and who you are.
No one is 100% the person they wish they were.
I am an anime girl in my heart despite the realization that these are emotional illogical desires.
Hugs.
All too often
All too often we have to hide who we truly are. Many times we take those secrets to the grave with us as we fear the unknown. I pray this world will someday change but with the current activities of "Humanity" (and I use that term loosely) the current situation may never change.
All too often those like us are persecuted for imagined wrongs, when we just what the one thing that everyone else seems to have.
Kylie, If you ever feel like giving up PLEASE get help from somewhere. There is too much pain in this world to add to it.
The answers to all of life's questions can be found in the face of a true friend
Yes, every day. But that's
Yes, every day.
But that's the point, isn't it? That's what we say to ourselves, every day.
And every day we receive the same answer.
Hugs and kind regards,
Kate
Kate