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Hi there.
For the longest time I was not sure who or what I am. Then I lost myself in life, until my younger brother came out and said that he was a girl. My parents we scared then they started to support a bit. I have been thing that I was going to be the one. I did some crazy when I was in school. Started to wonder why I like to have friends that were girls more then boy friends. Then I did some research and found sites that explain things to me. I am still confuse in some ways. I feel so stupid right now telling people I do not know when I can not tell my parents for I fear that I will be asked to leave.
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The first step
The first step is always the hardest reguardless of the path.
Your sister sound like a very brave young woman to talk about it. It is not fear that drives such a descion it is bravery. To follow the path of your heart requires more bravery than you can imagine. Many shy away from such.
You do not get to choose who or what you are. The only choice you get is whether to accept it or spend the next couple years fighting with yourself and then watching the horror of your body changing in ways opposite to what you should be.
I will tell you a secret. Parents are not as blind to this as you may think. Be honest with them and yourself it is the only path to the peace you so much desire.
Good luck Sister.
There is a problem I did not
There is a problem I did not think about until recent. The changes have happen to me. I am not sure if I want to just lets my parents know or a close friend first. I am told that I have a boyish face all the time. So to me that is one problem to me. My dad talk to me about my behavior before, it just after that I act more like a boy that I just starting to feel that I missing somthing again. I want to, but I do not want things to blow up in my face.
It is one of the hardest things to contemplate
Unfortunately, even in this day and age the outcome is too often what we hope for. Only you know your parents well enough to have an inkling of their reaction.
It sounds as if they have accepted your younger siblings feelings. Is he or she in transition? You were not totally clear. If they are, I would expect their reaction to be more favorable.
It sounds as if you are still uncertain in your own mind, and need some help exploring/deciding what you want to do in the long run. You need to talk with a therapist familiar with this area of development, who will be sympathetic.
If you are uncertain of a first therapist, try another, as there are still many in the field who are not really understanding of us.
Holly
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
Holly
I understand
I understand your terrified. I also would guess your father is a mans man. You feel ashamed. You feel like you are somehow letting him down.
You are not. I said before it takes a huge amount of bravery to be yourself.
What you are experiencing is what I call the mask. The mask is a face you put on for others everyday. It is not yourself. You actually hate that mask. however what is just if not more scary is to let go of that mask and expose yourself to those feelings that you are not used to.
I do not have an answer to the mask. Mine was torn away years ago. I deal with the feelings day by day. It is not easy.
You are focused on the fear of being kicked out on the street. However your younger sister has not so I would gather niether will you.
I can give you some advice though. Write a letter pour yourself into that letter. all your pains, all your confusion everything.
Most parents love their children because they are their children, NOT because of societys rules on how they should behave. If you truly express your pain in full in the letter to your parents as well as your fear they will listen. If you choose to explain why you have the pain in the same letter that is also up to you. There is no rule that you have too.
Here is a piece of good news of a sort for you.
Sometimes there is a valid medical reason for this. It may be possible you feel the way you do because you actually are a girl but with a boyish covering.
I will advise you that with or without your parents conscent to have a doctor check this out.
From me to you a great big hugs and my shoulder is always available to cry on.
Hi there
Take your time and relax. We are here for you.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Why not talk
to your younger sibling, given her gender situation, at least you should get a sympathetic ear.
Angharad
Angharad
You're actually very lucky
You're actually very lucky to know someone in a similar situation. Talk to your sibling.