Going on a family vacation - with outsiders who only know the OTHER you... Are there questions? Are there moments of awkwardness? What about vacationing in a state with no protections?

From the title and teaser, you probably guessed that Anne went on another family vacation this year. If you happened to read an earlier blog, you probably know my family and I spent a week in DisneyWorld last summer (okay most of a week). Up to then, that was the longest I'd lived as ME full time, and it was a very good trip... :-)

This year, we decided to go to Virginia Beach. And, as we had in previous years, we took along my older daughter's boy friend and a good friend of my younger daughter. (Outing myself to this second was the trigger of my last blog.) For those that don't know, Virginia has no laws protecting gender expression. So, I had a little nervousness about what might happen.

Backing up a little, I first came to understand that I was TS in the mid '80s, while I was living there in the Tidewater area (and stationed/living on the Naval Air Station)... So, I knew there was at least a history of knowledge of TS issues in the area, even though the clinic I'd attended no longer existed. Yes, there were mixed feelings.

To make a story short, I needn’t have worried. I had no problems the entire trip. In fact, it went as well as Disney, if not better... But, more on that in a bit.

My younger daughter's friend treated me no different than she had before - if not better. (I got a few hugs out of her... When collecting from my daughters.) Despite the short notice, she NEVER got the pronoun wrong (at least where I could hear it).

You know - one piece bathing suits really are not great for me. I guess my torso's a bit longer than average for girls. (Let me guess, you're not surprised.) My suit did fit better than it did last year (a little more up top may have helped), but I really do need to get the extra weight off, so I can move to a two piece suit! Enough of that.

Our visit to Colonial Williamsburg was mostly good. We all had a great time. I did get double takes from the ticket agent, when he read the name on my credit card... But after looking at my driver's license (ID), he seemed reassured. I guess not many other girls have a roman numeral at the end of their names. Glad my DL has the right gender marker. LOL Getting ma'am'd all the time was nice. Well, except for one small exception - when visiting the "kitchen" of the Governor's Palace, I was referred to as a gentleman initially (Coming into a shadow from a bright doorway - with hair pulled back (invisible) - with a loose purple T (okay, if you looked, you could see it was obviously a ladies T (given the scrollwork across the front "yoke"), but that was not likely visible in the shadows). Disappointing? Yes. But, I decided to "rationalize" it as an isolated case... (All the other "ma'am’s" certainly helped here.)

On Friday, we went to the Virginia Beach Aquarium. It's a nice one - with plenty to see/do. As I was waiting to go in (tickets in hand)... The gentleman (probably in his '60s) said "good morning ma'am"... A different T then - it was tighter, and the girls made a fairly obvious "tent". I had a necklace and earrings as well (all small, and in good taste, of course. LOL).

The experiences on the two trips confirmed something that I've come to believe about myself. Given sufficient secondary clues AND no glaring counter clues, I can still pass. This IS a relief. My voice needs a lot of help. (I've recorded it and played it back.) If I'm careful enough, it's not glaringly masculine in person, and with the right visual clues it seems to not cause issues. But it's VERY easy to slip into HIS voice, specially in a familiar environment or when I need more volume. I've yet to be ma'am'd on the phone, which confirms the marginality for me. But this all points to an area I knew I needed to work on.

I hope my successes on the trip go a long way to reassuring my family. I know it gave my younger daughter a boost - having a friend that not only knows and has met me, but said friend that could care less.

Time to start learning what's involved in work's medical benefits and coming out process and such...

I want to thank all those that commented last time. It told me that some people are actually reading these things, even if only occasionally. It also told me that a few found them helpful. So, for now, I'll keep going. Where does my life go? Time will tell. In any event, if you got this far, thank you. If anything I've said strikes up questions please ask. (Not that I expect anyone to get this far, mind you... LOL)

Anne