Coming out to friends triggers so many emotions. When it has the potential to affect one’s kids as well, the fear side...

Most of us have been there — Coming Out... It's an ongoing process, not one that happens once and it's over. This is something I get reminded of every time I go through it. I'm not saying it doesn't get easier to actually DO it. For me, it certainly has. Perhaps because inside, I'm ready for the world to know (I think. (*grins*) But, that's probably naive of me - thinking I'm ready emotionally... Neither here nor there, as far as where I was going with this blog.

So, yes, I'm finding it easier FOR ME to tell folks about my issue... But, that doesn't mean I don't approach each "outing" with trepidation. Far from it. Each and every outing has the potential to blow up in my face, and make life harder for me, and more importantly for my family. I say more importantly because this is being imposed on them. Yes, they've agreed to accept the burden, but still. Come on girl, get back on topic. *Oh, okay*.

What brings this up, today? Well, let me tell you. Go ahead, TELL them, stop telling the dozen readers that you're going to tell them. *Yeah, you're right. I should stop this beating around the bush.* This past week, I was out two some LOCAL friends. One is my younger daughter's private music teacher (a good friend of my older daughter - and also someone active in the local charity group both daughters are members of). Her reaction told me something... You're procrastinating again. *No I'm not. I'm trying to set the context.* Oh, yes you are. Just tell folks it went okay. You can save the other stuff until later. *Hmmm. You've got a point.* As I've just been reminded, I can tell you the other bit later. But, it seems the reaction was fine.

Then, in the middle of last week, I had to come out to the mother of one of my younger daughter's friends. (The friend was scheduled to go on vacation with us next week. Common courtesy to warn her that Anne would be on the vacation - and give her parents a chance to cancel her participation.) I approached this with more trepidation... As it was a second test of families who's daughters were good friends of my daughter and potentially the first time one of her friends would find out about me.

I gave her a call, purportedly to arrange logistics for the trip... And "dropped" my bomb. Well, the bomb fizzled... (YEAH!!!) She was, apparently, fine with it. (And, as I was reminded earlier part of her reaction can be postponed.) She did ask what I preferred to be called, and said she'd have to talk things over with her husband. We left it there. And, I sat down, trembling a bit - worried. Needlessly as it turned out - not five minutes later, she called back and told me THEY were fine, and plans were still on - they just needed to figure out how to tell their daughter (and when - she has two younger brothers that don't "need to know" as yet)... I suddenly choked up, all but overwhelmed by their acceptance and quick call... (It's still all I can do to keep from tearing up a bit thinking about it.) To make a short story longer, the gist is that their daughter now knows. She's a bit confused by it, but her parents (and I) hope she'll be better with things after the week...

Talk about two "outings" that could have blown up... Both have MANY mutual friends.

Now you're not telling them the INTERESTING part of the calls. *I'm getting to that!* Yeah, right. When? *As soon as you quit interrupting!* Yeah, right... *Yeah. quite down and I'll prove it to you!*

What was it - other than the "outings" that I learned from these two events? I didn't actually OUT myself to the teacher - my older daughter did. (with permission). She passed on the following first reaction from her friend. "Oh, THAT explains the boobs." Yeah, apparently folks may well have noticed the girls, but not said anything... Just assuming it was another weird thing about me... *shrugs* Guess that's okay.

The mother's reaction - after I told her I was TS - was "Oh, that makes sense." I didn't press her - then - about WHY it made sense. But, I suspect it may well have been the girls again. Guess that "C" cups DO show up, unless you take efforts to hide them.

What now? Good Question. Each outing - that goes without blowing up in my face - probably makes it easier on the family, as it helps THEM build up a support network of people that know and accept (or at least tolerate). I was talking to my therapist the other day - about my feeling that sooner or later, I expect to get the uber negative Kick in the Stomach kinda reaction. She said that most of us do, but not everyone and that she has ONE client (post op) who's never had a negative reaction, and if I manage, I'll be the second. Not good odds, but at least I can hope!

Where do things go from here? Time will tell. Where does this blog go? Probably nowhere; given the interest in previous blogs (one comment last time, and MAYBE 100 reads). If any of you got this far, thanks. If anything I've said strikes up questions please ask. Also, if they're useful, please let me know. (Not that I expect anyone to get this far, mind you... LOL)

Anne