A Question on Comments??

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OK, I'll admit this is not a particularly scientific survey. Or any sort of survey really In fact it's a seat of the skirts impression of the state of play… ie: it's my observation. But it's a question that bothers me… a little.

Why is it that even here, probably the friendliest site of its type on the Web. Where seldom is heard a discouraging… sorry… yes there is the occasional tiff, still, there are very few really. Most posts of any sort are supportive and friendly and encouraging.

So why is it that seemingly 90 percent of all comments come from maybe a dozen people. I could most likely count them on both hands… and maybe a toe or two.
So… what is it? Why of the thousands that come and read and look and presumably, mostly enjoy. Find solace and encouragement, anonymous understanding. Maybe even learn something. I have no doubt that many more experienced or knowledgeable than I will shrug and mumble…' twas ever thus…' , but still…

Why is it that so few take that small amount of time to say… 'Hey, that's nice'. Or… 'Wow…that's me…thanks for sharing'. Maybe even… (no, never here) but,… '… the Grammar is awful, but…' … well almost anything really….

Whatever it is as long as it's polite… takes but a moment you know. Can take hours…weeks… months… to write a story, even a short one. Not all is everyones' of course but there's plenty of variety and talent….

So.. What's the story then HUH!!

Comments

Commenting on commenting

Well there you go. It's the same old same old however, don't forget the voting.

I think the question of comments will be raised time and again, probably well past when the cows have come home, had a bath and gone to bed, but is it reasonable to expect those who have voted to comment too?

The fact that they have taken the time to register a vote is cool. To anticipate comments as well, is asking a lot. As a poster of stories on several sites, the same thing occurs time and time again - a lack of comments.

It's the one thing that actually tells the author what the reader really thought of the story.

Some sites have weird and wonderful mechanisms in place that allow the reader to mark how much they liked certain aspects of the story and while some find those stories the best thing since sliced bread and give good, or at least reasonable marks, there are always those who don't. Why in that case, they have taken the time to read the story is a mystery to me, but there you go.

Here, I presume that if you liked the story, you vote. If you don't you don't. It's pretty simple really. If you really liked the story, you may find yourself wanting to add a few words too.

It is from an author's point of view, regrettable that so many read and yet so few vote or comment, but that is seemingly the way of it.

Nick B

I go to the library. . .

. . .and have for all of my life. The books there were purchased with my tax dollars perhaps but to my mind are much like the works presented here; gratis. I have enjoyed numerous books I've borrowed over the years but have never written to a single author saying so. I have on occasion commented here but only when the story particularly moves me.

I realize authors write for various reasons, including feedback, but to be honest do they really want a Pavlovian response to their writing? No offense to those that comment, but after a time ... let me employ a couple of analogies.

Every year for years, I sent and received hundreds of Christmas cards until I realized that I was sending most of them merely because the recipients were on 'The List.' That list was added to or subtracted from depending on whether I had gotten a card the year before. It struck me that this annual gesture demeaned the meaning of the season because I was sending cards for all the wrong reasons. The original intent was pure but over time it had merely become a chore. I don't want my comments to 'become a chore.' I want them to have true meaning. Now I send only a few cards but each card is chosen separately for the receipient and includes a personal note. That's the way I view my comments.

In the same vein, I have never been of the persuasion that patting an author on the head and saying "nice story" is any different than patting a dog on the head and saying, "good girl." That's why I've never owned a dog, I'm not a petter. After a time I resent the constant seeking of my approval and giving it becomes a rote and meaningless gesture. Besides, noone really likes a petterphile (grin).

Commentator
Visit my Caption Blog: Dawn's Girly Site

Visit my Amazon Page: D R Jehs

Irony

I think you point of view could perhaps do with just a smidge of revision, or was the name you have given yourself for this site just drawn from a hat?

I think the majority that have commented here disagree with your sentiments and I suspect that anyone who posts a story here - myself included would be appalled if everyone was like you.

Hurrah to all those who post comments and Ya-boo-sucks-to-you! for those who don't.

There's no excuse.

My name's at the top.

I Love Dogs

My dog knows he can count on me for a pat on the head and a kind word. In return I have a wonderful companion who is fascinated by every story I tell him.

I love Christmas cards from people I haven't seen in thirty years. I even love those that write newsletters telling of their children's triumphs. Each year I send over five hundred cards.

I have written to authors of books, several times, and have received thoughtful responses several times. Most recently I wrote to Rick Rielly at Sports Illustrated to thank him for his thoughtful column about a transitioning friend. his response stated that e-mails like mine were what kept him going writing his column.

I write letters to the editors of magazines and have had many published.

If readers were to become as conditioned as Pavlov's dogs to salivate at the idea of writing a comment, there would be no problem.

Saying thank you isn't mechanical unless you don't mean it.

While I'm writing this I'm at my desk at work. UPS just delivered a parcel from a company I do business with. They sent a picture of a group of us they honored at a meeting in Las Vegas a few months ago. They didn't send the picture without an underlying profit motive. The same dynamics works here. If you like a story and thank the author, you've greased the works for more of ther same. If you don't -- the author is sooner or later going to get the message.

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Letter writing

erin's picture

I've written letters to authors whose books I enjoy and I've usually gotten thoughtful personal replies. If you like Romance novels, several of the writers of those are really prolific letter writers, too.

But some of my most rewarding correspondence has been with the cartoonists in the daily newspaper. People like Reg Smythe (now deceased), Jim Unser, Bill Griffith, and Gus Arriola (also now deceased) love hearing from fans and are quite prompt about writing back.

- Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Finger or toe

I hope I count as a finger or toe in your opinion :)

I have to admit I don't comment on *everything* I read. Sometimes, I'm reading a story and get bored with it long before the end. Or I figure out it's not the kind of story I like. In those cases, I seldom leave a comment. But whenever a story touches me, be it in a good or a bad way, I try to communicate my feelings about it.

As author, I'm currently working on my second story. I like getting comments, so I know people enjoyed it or perhaps I can learn to improve something. But I'm a bit surprised by those who practically 'demand' response. I mostly write for my own enjoyment and I post the result here in the hope someone else can enjoy it too. If they feel like telling me about it, fine. If they prefer to enjoy in silence, I'm still happy.

I'm sure that professional authors selling books don't get the response rate the authors get on BC. I know *I* never took the time to write the author of a book I enjoyed.

Hugs,

Kimby

Hugs,

Kimby

Commenting for the sake of it

I agree that I have never once written to an author because I liked the book, however much I may have liked to, but I have two points.

1. This is not a library, nor will you find these stories in a public library anywhere.
2. I appreciate people's views on commenting for the sake of it, but oftentimes, the author only wants a thank you and you wouldn't begrudge anyone that kind of civility would you?

Maybe the folk ...

... who do comment are the ones who are more comfortable with using words.

Readers are not always writers, and for someone who doesn't feel as comfortable writing, it may be much harder to actually tell someone in print what you thought of their work. Making a public comment might be too much of an emotional burden -- or maybe just too much work.

For a while, I had decided to refrain from commenting in order to avoid accidentally re-igniting the whole brouhaha over courtesy and politeness in comments that we had a while back. I thought that would be safer to limit my responses to private messages, although even there I found myself afraid of saying something that could be taken the wrong way. As a result, I became excessively cautious.

Recently, I decided to try commenting again, only to find it much harder to do than it used to be. I found myself thinking too hard about what I wanted to say. Often, I would get two-thirds of the way through a comment and, after reviewing what i was writing, would just stop and leave -- not because it was rude or provocative, but because in the end, the comment itself didn't really seem worthy of submitting. There was nothing new or exciting in what I had to say, so I said nothing. Basically, the effort involved in writing a comment outweighed the need for me to express an opinion.

When i saw this topic pop up, I thought about what I had been doing myself, and realized that perhaps the level of effort involved for your average reader may truly be more than they can handle. So maybe we shouldn't blame most folks for not commenting -- especially when voting makes it a little easier to show their approval without having to worry about writing something they feel is worthy of actually being read by others.

Just a thought. *smile*

Randalynn

P.S. - That being said, I LOVE getting comments! Those of you who DO comment, PLEASE don't stop! *grin*

Commenting

Frank's picture

Personally I am more likely to comment when I have something of substance to say in a comment, or if a story is multi-part I like to let the author know I'm still reading it and to keep going.

On the other hand, I print out 99% of stories as I don't like reading from the monitor. Sometimes it may be a few days before I read a story, then there are new stories...and I forget..I an trying to make an effort to vote each time I print a story out now.


Huggles!!

Alexis

Hugs

Frank

Why and when I comment

I have been back to checking out Big closet for less than six months and have been a major fan of fictionmania for a while.I don't read all the storys being ts I think I naturally lean towards ts fiction and while I don't mind the occasional sex scene I prefer them clean.Insest,storys about children being used or changed against their will isn't my cup of tea.Anymore I haven't been to fictionmania as much because of those type storys.I like big closet and it's authors and the fact that most of the storys are well written and easily enjoyed.When I first came here I left some guest reader comments but as I learned to really enjoy this site and the authors I registered and have left more comments for the authors I enjoy.I only leave comments for the storys I enjoy and I try not to be critical of the authors work and I judge storys on there merits alone.Admiral krunch,Angharad and sadly and to be sorely missed Darla Rasperry have been my favorite authors so far.Amy

My opinion is a lot different, but here goes...

The overwhelming majority of readers don't leave comments because they're takers, not givers. They don't really care about the authors; they don't stop to consider the tremendous amount of work, time, and emotion that it takes to write a story; and they don't want to spend time leaving comments when they could be doing other things. Some people can't string two sentences together, some people type slowly, some people are reading on the sly, some are terrified by what they're reading and what they're learning about themselves, some people download stories and read them later; in all of those cases it takes a decent amount of effort to leave a review, so why do it when you don't have to?

I leave reviews of almost everything I read--and I always make sure to say something positive. If I absolutely despise a story, I don't leave a review, but that almost never happens thanks to the descriptive categories in the TG genre.

Readers have some great "my-dog-ate-my-homework" type excuses for not leaving reviews, but the bottom line is that people don't leave comments because they don't have to. It's basically human nature--especially for men and boys.

I know

...that I don't comment nearly enough, and I feel very guilty about it. The truth is that my mind moves very slowly; it takes me time to pick my words for comments on the stories that truly do move me, and then they always seem too personal, or self involved, to be posted. On the other stories, the good to great ones that don't hit a personal cord, I guess I draw back from posting the "Pavlovian" type response mentioned above as not clever or insightful enough. (So the process is much like what Randalynn spoke of.)

The problem is I don't mind receiving that kind of response; they make me happy. After the well-considered, analytical sorts (which I expect ot be rare; that's not what I'm asking for from readers), "wow" or "not my cup of tea, but I enjoyed it," are the best things I could possibly hear. Yeah, I want to wow people - but pleasing them will do quite well.

As for giving advice or analyzing stories my self, I have never seen a story on BC (and very few on FM) for which I would feel qualified to do that. Even when people ask me privately to read stories, I get very self-conscious about it; I think I always say too much, and the only criteria I can employ is "The way I would do this is...", which is not a great recommendation. I sure am not going there publicly and when unsolicited.

The idea that we should not comment to writers that post because we don't for the books we get from libraries; well, I got news for you those published writers might like the fan mail, but they don't care for your opinion an iota. They are published. A professional publisher, in it for the money, invested in the book. An agent, a professional reader, took time for that book. Critics with bylines may have written their opinions, and the buyers for the library, who know a lot about books, spent some of their limited resource on it. Those writer's egos were well stroked long before the book met your library card. Fan letters are just twigs on the fire. That is not even close to what is happening in the hearts and heads of the writers here. I know this, so I do feel guilty when I punt on the comments (I do try to comment on the things that seem not to get the deserved attention, but not hard enough perhaps.)

I think that votes do some what replace some of the "Pavlovian" comments, only even easier, and it's disappointing it is not used more.

I'll start doing better, KLS. :)

Jan

Way Too Modest

Just to set the record straight, Jan is a wonderful reader -- thoughtful, imaginative and fun -- and my indispensable sidekick in the production of the Balthasar's Extract turn-of-the-century novel. Her passion for history matches mine, and her unerring ear catches the false notes in Evelyn's story before the chapters reach the posting stage. Hugs, Daphne

Daphne

Comments - May I have some more, please?

Ok, here's my take on comments: Please do.

I'm not asking for a thoughtful critique, that would be nice if that's what you like to do but it's not necessary. A simple "I loved the story" or "nice read" or any variation is perfectly fine with me.

Pavlovian response, as one person put it? Not to me. It simply says you enjoyed the story enough to say so.

Speaking for myself, I've been physically and emotionally drained the last month or so. I've been in the hospital, had to deal with putting my own mother in an assisted-care living facility, and simply swamped at work (week before last I worked 60+ hours). Some nights I go to bed and lay there staring at the ceiling while my mind runs like an engine at full throttle that's not connected to anything.

So I come on here (and other sites like Stardust) to do a little reading to try and relax, maybe have a little fun. I've read several stories I enjoyed, yet didn't leave a comment because I couldn't come up with anything "meaningful". From now on, if I like a story but can't rustle up the necessary two brain cells to rub together to make a meaningful comment, the author will get a nice "Thank You" comment from me. At least they'll know I enjoyed the story. Besides, my mother taught me it's never wrong to say thank you to somebody.

I'll try and get back to "insightful" comments when I can, meanwhile thanks to all the other writers who post here and on other websites.

Karen J.

"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way."

College Girl - poetheather


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

The Politeness of Princes

I agree with Karen. Just a thank you is welcome. Just an acknowledgment that someone has read what you have written and has appreciated it enough to say so.

If punctuality be the politeness of princes then surely a comment is the courtesy of readers?

I am not a fan of voting, of awarding stars as if writers were restaurants. It smacks of categorisation, in a somewhat patronising way. Anyway to decide on whether to award three or four for literary merit is surely a far more agonising and longer process than just typing a simple 'thank you' or 'I liked it' or 'can I have more?' It would be for me. Anyway I am not qualified to do it. Anymore than I am able to quantify some enjoyment quotient with any semblance of regularity.

But a simple 'thanks for the read' does touch the heart. Nothing too insightful, nor too truthful, and certainly, nothing in the least both insightful and truthful! Heaven forfend!

But a 'thanks' is welcome.

Hugs,

Fleurie

Fleurie

Common Courtesy

Manners are a wonderful thing. I am old fashioned and the words "please" and "thank you" are a part of my everyday vocabulary. However I'm also a strong believer in honesty.

I'd like to extend the courtesy so many authors desire. Unfortunately until I feel I can say "thanks for wasting my time" with equal acceptance as "thank you" in the comments section then I must choose to remain discourteous. I will not discriminate in my thank you's lest the lack of one indicate what must as of the moment remain unsaid. To twist an old saw, "If you can't say anything bad about something, better to say nothing at all."

And lest you think me an ungrateful wench I have purchased all the premium stories offered to help support this site and the writers within as an honest way of saying thank you for giving me the opportunity to enjoy - or not - the stories here.

Commentator
Visit my Caption Blog: Dawn's Girly Site

Visit my Amazon Page: D R Jehs

Clarification Commentator

You said --

***I have purchased all the premium stories offered to help support this site and the writers within***

My stories are donated to BigCloset for the purpose of supporting the site. None of what you pay for those stories goes to me.

The rights to those stories remain with me and it is my current plan to post them for free after they've been in Doppler Press for a year.

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

So it's like...

you will say "Thank you" to the person that holds the door open for you, but only because you can say, "Get out of my way, fat-ass," to the people that don't. Good old fashioned manners (not what I was taught.). Only that way do you feel you are being 'honest'. And, oh yeah, you always show you appreciation as long as you get a return too. Thanks oh so much.

Is there a limit to you entitlement?

Quit rationalizing and just admit you will take what you can git, and the ones who give it to you are unimportant and deserve their treatment.

This is getting real old, and it does no good at all. Many readers don't comment because they are shy, (or maybe feel guilty about their taste.) Others are like commentator and have these great reasons for ignoring the writer's efforts.

And there's the rub

I lay claim to honesty and immediately am condemned as a hypocrite. Others appear to impugn my motives and call themselves polite. I appreciate the honesty of others deciding what I really meant to say as apparently I am unwittingly a liar and excuse-maker. Perhaps we should call it the 'patina of politeness' because it is so easily sloughed off.

Mind you, I am not angry or upset at what has been said about me. I merely ask that all of you examine your own remarks in the same light as you did mine.

One can be polite and still say things people don't want to hear. Manners do not preclude honesty. However Erin has asked that we refrain from saying "unkind" things, even if done politely, in the story comments. I respect Erin's wishes in that regard. Thus if I cannot be completely honest, even politely, then I will refrain from commenting on author's stories.

That's my 'excuse' and I'm sticking to it.

Commentator
Visit my Caption Blog: Dawn's Girly Site

Visit my Amazon Page: D R Jehs

An unkind comment cannot be made politely

erin's picture

Please, if you want to respect my wishes, do read them carefully.

You can be completely honest, if you can do it politely. The two are mutually exclusive only if you choose to consider them so.

Courtesy and respect are the watch words, not sycophancy and hypocrisy.

I appreciate the efforts and donations you have made to the site, but I will not take responsibility for your decision not to leave congratulatory comments. As far as I know, I've never had occasion to remove one of your comments unlike several more active, and still active, commenters here.

- Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Honest comments made politely

I apologize for improperly laying the blame at your doorstep. Perhaps it would be better said that even a polite and kind comment can engender an ensuing series of comments which are neither polite nor kind in defense of the author, her writing or a particular viewpoint, resulting in your eventual intervention and removal of the ensuing thread. And that I HAVE personally experienced here in the past. Is it any wonder that I can only imagine what would ensue if the comment had been considered 'unkind.' And that I have also seen here, albeit indirectly. The inability of some others to discern the difference between polite honesty and incivility and rudeness gives hazard to any less than flattering comments no matter how politely phrased. Thus there is no desire on my part to strike a match amidst the dry tinder. As I said, until I can make comments of both types with equal candor and polite acceptance I will refrain from both.

Call it what you will, an 'excuse' or maybe call it a 'fire prevention' program.

The question was asked, I answered politely and honestly and take full responsibility for my actions (or in this case inactions).

Commentator
Visit my Caption Blog: Dawn's Girly Site

Visit my Amazon Page: D R Jehs

Comments can also be made privately

erin's picture

Frankly, I recommend doing so if one suspects that such comments might be taken poorly. It's an option I provide through PM and I also provide authors with the ability to block PMs, just as they can block comments on their stories.

And yes, I have on occasion removed comments that have caused attached comments to be also removed. It's how the system works. I don't see a way around that to have and keep the courtesy I feel is necessary for the continued functioning of this site.

But as far as I'm concerned, you can make comments of any type you wish, as long as they are courteous and respectful, right now. Perhaps I am simply not understanding your point. If so, I'm sorry for not getting it. Really, I don't get it.

- Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Poor Tortured Soul

Pulled this way and that by the conflicting old fashioned virtues of courtesy and honesty.

Happy are we simpler souls who have mastered the art of reconciling the two.

And another old fashioned virtue, that of an aversion to hurting anyone's feelings, enters the fray. You shy away from having to thank writers for wasting your time. All writers, for apparently you never do comment.

And so yet another old fashioned virtue surfaces! Conscientiousness! All those hours spent in wading through complete and utter tosh just because it is available to you. Ignoring indications from the synopsis, or indeed the first few paragraphs, you persevere to the bitter end lest presumably you have to condemn the writer on insufficient evidence. Hoping against hope that one day .... one day you will find .... that elusive spark of pleasure that you have for so long sought.

Against all these time honoured virtues what chance has courtesy? After such a waste of time and effort in reading it would be unforgivingly profligate of you to throw good minutes after bad by typing 'thank you'.

Fleurie

P.S. I am rather puzzled by your twisted old saw. But it does provoke the reflection that it is always easier to say nothing.

Fleurie

You are in control (for Commentator)

"Thanks for wasting my time?" Please, always remember that you're the one in control of your time. If you decide to spend it on a story, why would you ever think it's the author's fault?

I do thank you for holding your tongue if you really don't like a story--that's actually very sweet of you.

Em-

"thanks for wasting my time"

If you really felt something like that, and it was one of my stories, I'd want to know more about what made you react that way. If a story seemed like it wasted your time as a reader, I'd think that meant that it held your interest for a while but left you unsatisfied. I'd prefer a comment like: "After reading the synopsis and the first chapter, I was expecting this story to be about what Alice was doing to Bob, but then when you brought Charlie onto the scene, the whole tone changed and it became something completely different from what it seemed like it had promised. I felt cheated." It's still negative, but it's useful. It would let the author know that maybe the header and the beginning could be edited to properly hint at what is to come.

On the other hand, if by the story wasting your time you meant something like: "This was so horribly written that I gave up after two paragraphs," then you haven't really lost enough time to complain about.