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About 2 months ago, I opened up to a woman at work about myself. She's great. She recently left the call center where we work together and in the last couple days a coworker of mine has said that she told him about my secrets but she did swear him to secrecy. He has not outed me as of yet but he is lording it over me. I told him to go ahead and tell people since no one will believe a big mouth like him anyways. He has also jokingly implied blackmail. I have spoken to a supervisor with out naming names. I cannot move to a different part of the call center since all company reps must sit together. If I have the person fired for harrassment then I will be outed. I do not care if it comes out at work but if it gets into my personal life, then I'm screwed. I am looking for a position on a different shift. I am also looking for a new job elsewhere.
I wish I could cry. But the tears just will not come.
Jessica Marie
Comments
I'm being harassed at work
Yes, you were wronged by her, and now must deal with her actions. I hope that you can find a friend there who wil help you.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
As tempting as it is to share at work
Sadly it is probably not a good thing unless one is willing to be outed eventually. I had that experience at my first job after transitioning between jobs, so granted I was just a bit on the imperfect side but hardly readable but with some rough edges. He offered broad hints as to him thinking that I was trans but just like being a spy, even when you think you've been rumbled, do spill your cover! So I never did as I did not know him that well of course and he was starting to get snarky. But since I absolutely refused to acknowledge his suspicions he had nothing.
So F**k 'em.
At this point it is just best to keep stonewalling.
He has nothing but innuendo and no real proof I take it?
If you are really passable then this becomes he says she says.
Kim
Sadly not.
I am not transitioning. I live and work as a man. I could never pass in a million years. Picture a Rino in a dress.
Jessica Marie
I just had to comment...
I read the subject-title. I just had to read the blog and respond.
In many, many ways, I have been lucky in that, though I went through what I went through as a transgendered person, I was able to find the job I have now.
But that's not to say that I didn't go through what you are going through. In the job I had previously, I was constantly harassed, though not in any overt or physical way (but sometimes that was more hurtful. In any case, I know that, for me, it was verrry hurtful and humiliating).
The difference with my situation was that I was already outed, which, I suppose made my coworkers think it gave them the license to make me the butt of their cruel jokes, to humiliate me and deprive me of things that normal people think they have a right to.
In the time that I was there, I was usually the one that people used as a scapegoat for their own failures. My boss said in front of everyone in a meeting that I was such a bad employee, he wondered why I was still there. I couldn't keep it in anymore and said, then why don't you fire me.
But he, I and everyone, knew why - that I was NOT a bad employee, but was someone that everyone relied on. So all he could do was to yell at me some more. (I guess I was still feeling especially bad that time because a project completion bonus that I knew was due me was claimed by my boss.)
Anyway, I started making moves to leave. I got a response to one of my applications, and, without looking at the offer letter too much, I accepted right away. And in the last month I was there, I took in all the scutwork everyone didn't want to do, as usual (it was a lot that time since it was December), but I didn't work on any of them And, because I was only required to give a week's notice, I filed my irrevocable letter of resignation Thursday, Dec. 24. And, since most of the SOBs were on vacation, They'd just not see me when they come back to work Monday, January 4. I missed seeing their faces when they finally realized I didn't do any of their pending stuff, and won't have a lackey to do their unwanted work anymore. It felt very liberating - not having that fear of losing a job.
If they didn't think I was (to their eyes) a pervert or some dirty deviant, I think I would have had a chance. To small-minded, ignorant people, I'm afraid that was what I was. So I have to agree with Kimmie. Stonewall. And while you're there, maybe its time to put your search for another job into overdrive.
I also think you shouldn't have told that person anything. And I know its such a big temptation, and to some of us who are like me that want so badly to have a friend that acknowledges, or at least know about the true me, it's hard to resist spilling the beans. If you want to hide it in your place of work, regardless of your reasons, then you have to hide it completely. You can open up to others, but not to people that are part of your workplace. How does it go? "You can't have your cake and eat it, too?" But you can make friends away from work - they are the ones that you can open up to. That's why places like BCTS is so important - because, here, you don't need to hide.
I'm sorry to lecture. I guess there's still a bit of the guy in me that needs to fix things. But I have gone through what you are going through, and these are some of the hard lessons I learned. Maybe they can help.
Be strong and be rational, and think things through before doing something rash. You can do it.
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To see Bobbie's stories in BCTS, click this link: Â http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/14775/roberta-j-cabotÂ
To see Bobbie's "Working Girl" blogs, click this link: Â http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/19261/working-girl-blogs Â
To see ALL of Bobbie's blogposts, click this link: Â http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog/bobbie-cÂ