In commenting about the characters in a popular serial on this site, I made some rather unflattering, but honestly felt comments about several of the characters in the story. I felt, and I expressed it before, that they were seriously flawed and should not be held in very high esteem. Well, I received a comment to my comment saying that my outlook was far too dark, and that I didn’t understand the characters at all, that my life experience was such that I had no business making the comments I did make. One of the nice things about this site is that we are free to express our thoughts, within Erin’s rules, of course. After all opinions are just opinions, not facts themselves. I don’t begrudge anyone’s opinions, well thought out, or flawed; however, I do question someone’s opinion that my life experience is lacking.

Much of my writing is based on actual experience; much is based on research done to support what I want to say. What do I know about real life? - A little, but certainly not enough. I spent 21 1/2 years in the military during Viet Nam and the height of the cold war. I have been married to the same partner for more than 40 years. I have had prostate cancer, and so far have survived. Talk about a life experience. I am incontinent and impotent, but I am alive. I had two emergency surgeries within the week after the first surgery. I almost died. I couldn’t read for weeks, and could hardly speak because of too much anesthesia. Is that a life experience or a near death experience?

I had friends who died in Viet Nam. I spent countless hours with my finger figuratively on the red button, hoping beyond all hope that I wouldn't have to launch a nine megaton weapon at millions of innocent people. I have visited dozens of nursing homes and seen what the ravages of Alzheimer’s can do. I watched the twin towers collapse and I cried. I saw a dead armadillo along side the road that day that someone had placed a beer can in its forepaws. I laughed through my tears. I have grandchildren, nieces and nephews; I have watched alcohol destroy my mother's memories. I have visited many beautiful places. I have seen Dresden rise above the destruction caused by the Allied bombing. I have seen hope in the eyes of those trapped behind the iron curtain for years. I have seen my sister find her life partner after a bad marriage. I have read the happiness someone expressed after reading one of my badly written stories. That is worth so much. I have visited the Sistine Chapel. I have attended a Bar Mitzvah. I have visited the cemetery in the Jewish Ghetto in Prague. I have seen the art and letters written by the children held in the concentration camps near Prague. Some of the children lived. Some did not. I watched the tears and heard the sobs of the teenage children as they read the descriptions. I have walked through the cemetery in St. Petersburg, Russia where there are dozens of low mounds, each covering the bodies of 50,000 victims of the Siege of Leningrad. I have seen the gloriously beautiful cathedrals throughout Europe, many built with the toil and blood of the peasants, not to mention their money. I have seen my country pour billions of dollars down the rat hole of a winless war.

But you know, I wake up each morning and try to do something positive. I hope things will be better for this earth and man. As long as I live and my brain functions, I will have hope. I hope there will be fewer senseless killings. I hope that a beautiful young actress will finally get her life together. I hope that all the homeless will have a warm place to sleep tonight. I hope that their children will have a present on Christmas day. I hope that the dogma that drives so many people of this world will be finally revealed for what it is. I hope that each day I am a little bit smarter than I was the day before. I hope this site continues to flourish and give its visitors hope that they might reach their gender related goals: if they have any. I hope that the authors here, and all of the others who have suffered from abuse can get over the injuries and scars inflicted on them. I hope they can be cured of their PTSD and be free of their nightmares and flashbacks. I hope everyone finds love and someone to love.

I have had nearly 69 years of life experience, and as soon as I figure everything out, I will let you know.

Portia