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Hey all,
Let me first apologize for the excessive delays. To be completely honest, I've been really depressed for the last couple of weeks now since my birthday, and compounded with being sick it's just slowed my writing to a crawl.
I know what I want to do with Chapter 21 of Robin, it's just finding the motivation to sit down and write or do anything I normally enjoy doing. It's frustrating, to say the least.
To that end, I'm going to start working on the finale for Aria Blade's current storyline, wrap up the plot with the Raven God, and set that whole thing aside for awhile to try and focus on just one story.
I don't know how far I'll get or when it will be done, but right now I feel I have a responsibility to myself to work on Robin, which is much further from any sort of 'completion' for the current book, where Aria Blade is more like a spin-off side-story that I already know how I want to 'end' for now.
I hate feeling like this. I hate being depressed. This isn't who I am and this isn't who I want to be, but it's just so hard. I don't know how to fight it anymore. For what it's worth I'm not going anywhere, metaphysically or socially. I'm just at a really dark place right now.
~Zoe
Comments
Let's try a few things here!
First, of all, *GLOMP!*
We really really like you Zoe, you are wonderful and there was absolutely no need to apologise!
Yor really should have told us all sooner though - you will find that a steady supply of loving attention from here will revitalise you!
Faraway
Big Closet Top Shelf
Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!
Faraway
Big Closet Top Shelf
Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!
We're here, Zoe!
I get those, too. Everything is crap, and nothing I do feels right. My stories feel like some third grader wrote them, and I just can't get anything done. Well, I just wanna send ya some sunshine. You've brightened my dark days several times, so it's my turn. We care about you! Yeah, I love your stories, but those are a part of you! Relax, find a way to treat yourself somehow, and reflect on the good parts of life. Think about the millions of us (Hey, it could happen!)who just love your stories. Let "Spirit" come out and play!
Wren
Hang in there!
I've been there (like many of us have) and I know it's not fun when you can't summon up the enthusiasm to do anything or when you do things you would normally enjoy you derive no pleasure. A big wordly :hug: is probably the best I can do now.
In respect of your stories, given the joy you've given your readers to date with Robin and Aria I think that you have more than earned a break. To be honest, if you never wrote another word I would still look at these stories with great fondness, so I can wait until you feel ready to put fingers to keyboard again. If that means concentrating on one over the other, I'll still be happy to see your works.
Take care and I hope you feel better soon. Even the Q of S is entitled to some off days.
Hugs!
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
hope you feel better
Your stories always give my day a boost. hope you feel better soon.
keep up the great work at your own pace.
Thanks, everyone
The outpouring of support here and in private is kind of overwhelming, but it reminds me why TopShelf is a kind of sanctuary, a place to forget the rest of the world for a few minutes or a few hours.
I had a really weird, prophetic dream last night that at first, I just didn't give any thought to at all, but as the day has passed I've found myself returning to specific imagery that I've seen in past dreams.
Probably the most striking was the little girl with the fiery red hair. I've seen her before, and she's always accompanied with a feeling of overwhelming safety, but this time something was different.
She kept trying to tell me something, but her words kept getting garbled. When she wrote it down and showed it to me, it looked like meaningless scribbles. There's a lot more to that specific 'scene' than that, but that's the most bizarre part.
Anyway, it's just a dream, in the end. I have to decide what, if anything, I want to take from it, but it's at least got me thinking, which I think is a good thing. :-)
With love,
~Zoe
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Depresed
Zoe hun maybe you need to call your Doctor and get some antidepressents I'm on them and they do help to a certin degree & if you have any family maybe now would be a good time to see them for a bit, & maybe just maybe that will help.
Love Samantha Renee Heart
Love Samantha Renee Heart
Forget the drugs.
Hi Zoe:
I don't know what your situation is or where you live. Have you taken drugs for depression before? Have you been in counseling for depression before? Do you have a supportive home network? Friends at home can help a lot. I would not rush to drugs because with me, they just made matters worse.
However, after 4 years of very intense therapy, I did learn some ways to help myself out of the hole. For me, I can be at deaths door and an hour later feel quite happy. I have had this happen enough that I have learned to ride this sort of thing out.
Of course there is opposite action too, and while it may sound silly, or contrived to some, it helps. There are several things that you can do when depression sets in. Eat some Ice Cream, Go to a Movie, Take a hot bath, and use candles and nice smellies in the water. Go for a long walk. I ride my bike when I get down, and other times too. :) While you are outside, listen to the birds, watch the ducks on a pond, watch the wind in the trees, drift wood float past on the river. Watch children play in a park. Wash your car. Do your nails, pluck your eyebrows ...
In short don't think about what you can not change.
I hope this helped. PM me if you need something.
Gwendolyn
PS, are you too burned out from working too hard at writing. Rest is OK.